New baby and post birth advice #2

[HoneyBee29]

Anyone else have really bad pain at the bottom of their spine after giving birth from baby lying back to back?
Its so sore and its literally all down where it was agonising when I was pushing because of where baby was lying

My baby was back to back and I did for a couple of days after but I dunno if it was because of the way she was lying or because of the spinal block

 

[Disneylifeonly]

2 nights of baby boy sleeping until 3am and then 630am, hoping this becomes habit

 

[Hbirdette]

Not strictly medicine related, but a baby nail file is a good shout! Ive yet to meet anyone who hasn’t managed to nip baby’s fingers with the stupid baby nail clippers

I just bite my baby’s nails, those bloody nail clippers were a nightmare!

 

[Hairraiser]

For a start, don't every blame yourself. I know it's easier said than done. You have also said yourself that at the time, the benefits outweighed the risks.

I have no experience with steroid injections and every baby develops differently. So for a start, it may not be related to them at all.
Also remember when babies are early, they tend to be a bit slower than "Average" at starting things.
My first never grabbed/reached out for things, he went for a bunch of tests because they were worried. Yet there was nothing wrong.

There is nothing you can do regarding learning difficulties. If its going to happen, it will.
(sorry if that sounded blunt, I had no idea how to write it!)

Please don't ever blame yourself. You've always put your child first and what you think is best for them, that is all anyone can do!

Thank you for your reply!
it’s so hard not to blame yourself as you are the one that grew & nurtured the baby for X amount of time, he has no say in his care it was all down to us so I just feel cross that I’ve put this burden on him.

I find it hard to get over the developmental aspect of him, cause my neice was born 4 days prior (she was 10 days overdue, absolute dream of a birth & pregnancy compared to me) and she has been eating purée foods for the last 3 weeks, lifting her bum up and resting on her knees, rolling front and back. It’s so difficult not to compare the two as they are so close to me as my family.
I just hope that in 5-6 weeks time, my boy will be doing similar things to her , it takes him time to catch up like you say.
I guess I just need to continue as i am, accept that what happened during the pregnancy has happened for the absolute best & his well-being.
I will eventually come to terms with it but its something that’s at the back of my head atm.

 

[Hbirdette]

Has anyone changed milk to comfort milk? My HV mentioned it because of my daughters reflux and is quite a sicky baby. We tried infant gaviscon but made her really constipated and were getting omeprazol today but wondering if that doesn't work maybe trying a comfort milk?

We avoided comfort milk, my baby was very sicky and relux-y and after doing research we changed to kendamil. It’s a complete game changer for us. Apparently it’s hard to get hold of but I’ve got a subscription from them direct so I never have to worry.

 

[Hairraiser]

Please don’ blame yourself lovely. For so many reasons! Firstly, as others said, all babies develop at different rates and just because your little boy isn’t doing XYZ right now doesn’t mean he isn’t 100% fine and won’t do them in the near future. It’s so easy to blame ourselves, but it’s so rarely anything to do with us. I am confident you do so much with him - talking, singing, reading, playing - to help him develop, and there is nothing more you could be doing. In cases where children do have learning or developmental issues (and I’m in no way saying your son does) there is nothing that outside adults can do to change that, it’s wired in to their brain. So if that did turn out to be the case, there is nothing you would be able to do to change that.
I understand why you feel frightened about the effects the steroids might have had. But remember that baby “milestones” are a guide, not a prescriptive formula, and all babies reach them in their own time. The fact he isn’t doing something doesn’t mean he is in anyway behind or delayed.
I can honestly say I don’t remember any of my kids being excited by sound or colour. And my 3rd was almost 6 months before she would reach out and hold things (we had to delay blw with her as she wasn’t able to pick things up to her mouth or sit up unaided at 6 months).
And because of his prematurity you must remember he is much more like a 4 month old, and those things you’ve mentioned definitely aren’t things I would expect all 4mo to be doing consistently.

This is a lovely reply. Thank you for that!
I will continue to do what I’m doing with him & just know that he is the most perfect little boy.
I think I may have to delay BLW too, for this reason. Knowing there’s others out there who have had to do the same makes it seem less like I’ve failed with him.
I like to post on here from time to time, even just to get things off my chest. I know there isn’t a lot I can do in this situation but it feels nice to hear others have had the same scenario !

I had two steroid shots with my now nine year old. He’s been more than absolutely fine. I think I remember thinking the same thing that he didn’t reach out for much earlier on. Honestly they just develop when they’re ready. As babies they are taking in so so much that we’re not even aware of, sounds, touch, textures, voices, lights, colours. I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job

This absolutely makes sense.
I take him shopping with me on a Sunday to do the food shop & sit him in the seat attached to the trolley. He literally lays there looking at everything & he’s so content! I always worried he was bored but like you say they’re taking in so much that we aren’t aware of

 

[Definitelyme]

This is a lovely reply. Thank you for that!
I will continue to do what I’m doing with him & just know that he is the most perfect little boy.
I think I may have to delay BLW too, for this reason. Knowing there’s others out there who have had to do the same makes it seem less like I’ve failed with him.
I like to post on here from time to time, even just to get things off my chest. I know there isn’t a lot I can do in this situation but it feels nice to hear others have had the same scenario !


This absolutely makes sense.
I take him shopping with me on a Sunday to do the food shop & sit him in the seat attached to the trolley. He literally lays there looking at everything & he’s so content! I always worried he was bored but like you say they’re taking in so much that we aren’t aware of

I know we don’t know one another, but from your posts it is so clear how much you adore your son, and how you want to do the absolute best for him. That alone means you won’t ever fail him, because everything you do you are doing from love and with his best interests at heart.

 

[Hairraiser]

I know we don’t know one another, but from your posts it is so clear how much you adore your son, and how you want to do the absolute best for him. That alone means you won’t ever fail him, because everything you do you are doing from love and with his best interests at heart.

Aw, that made me cry.
I do want to do the best for him, I’d give him absolutely everything I can.
He is my first baby so I guess I’m still learning about things too. So glad I’ve got all you lovely ladies on this thread!

 

[Icbaaaa]

We avoided comfort milk, my baby was very sicky and relux-y and after doing research we changed to kendamil. It’s a complete game changer for us. Apparently it’s hard to get hold of but I’ve got a subscription from them direct so I never have to worry.

What age was your wee one when you switched? My daughters 14 weeks so I'm not sure if she would take to new milk or not, I dunno if they know its different or if they all taste the same

 

[LilyRose1234]

Can someone remind me of the difference between teat flows? Am now expressing as well and have switched to Mam but accidentally bought 2+ months with a teat 2 flow. She’s only 6 weeks so not quite there yet

 

[mg89]

Can someone remind me of the difference between teat flows? Am now expressing as well and have switched to Mam but accidentally bought 2+ months with a teat 2 flow. She’s only 6 weeks so not quite there yet

We are still on mam teat size 2 at 7 months as we found the size 3 ridicilously fast - he is on very thin milk so it was literally pouring into his mouth and he couldn't keep up. I think we swapped to size 2 at about 3.5 months. You'll know very quickly if she can keep up or not!

 

[CrimeJunkie]

We avoided comfort milk, my baby was very sicky and relux-y and after doing research we changed to kendamil. It’s a complete game changer for us. Apparently it’s hard to get hold of but I’ve got a subscription from them direct so I never have to worry.

This is good to know! I’ve heard good things about kendamil so was looking to change to it but HV said it was pointless as all formulas are pretty much the same but think I’m gonna give it a go and see if it helps! Do you use the normal one or organic?

 

[WhatABore]

Can someone remind me of the difference between teat flows? Am now expressing as well and have switched to Mam but accidentally bought 2+ months with a teat 2 flow. She’s only 6 weeks so not quite there yet

My oldest daughter had size 1 throughout it all. She didn't like it faster. But this time we switched to size 2 because they came with the bigger bottles. That was at 7 weeks. So just before they recommend it
She's still on them now. Probably won't both with size 3 as they can be quite fast.
I didn't feel there was a huge difference between 1 and 2 though

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

This is good to know! I’ve heard good things about kendamil so was looking to change to it but HV said it was pointless as all formulas are pretty much the same but think I’m gonna give it a go and see if it helps! Do you use the normal one or organic?

Another kendamil user here, we used cow and gate but she was so constipated from it so we switched. It's an absolute night mare to get hold of you can only buy the organic version from the shops when it's on the shelves but you can buy direct from their website. I emailed them to ask what the difference is as the normal milk is £10 for 900g and organic is £14 for 800g and they came back and said they are very similar it's just the grass that is fed to the cows so save yourself some money and get the normal!

P.s it does make babies poo green and bloody stink

 

[Hbirdette]

This is good to know! I’ve heard good things about kendamil so was looking to change to it but HV said it was pointless as all formulas are pretty much the same but think I’m gonna give it a go and see if it helps! Do you use the normal one or organic?

Noooo they’re definitely not the same!!!
For instance cow and gate uses skimmed milk and palm oil whereas kendamil uses whole milk and no palm oil. Kendamil actually smells like warm milk, c&g smelt rank, I felt cruel feeding it to my baby no shade at anyone that uses it! We just use the normal one, probably took a week for him to get used to it. His poo went dark green for a few days but then it was back to normal

Another kendamil user here, we used cow and gate but she was so constipated from it so we switched. It's an absolute night mare to get hold of you can only buy the organic version from the shops when it's on the shelves but you can buy direct from their website. I emailed them to ask what the difference is as the normal milk is £10 for 900g and organic is £14 for 800g and they came back and said they are very similar it's just the grass that is fed to the cows so save yourself some money and get the normal!

P.s it does make babies poo green and bloody stink

Yeah. Not gonna lie, my baby’s farts are potent

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Noooo they’re definitely not the same!!!
For instance cow and gate uses skimmed milk and palm oil whereas kendamil uses whole milk and no palm oil. Kendamil actually smells like warm milk, c&g smelt rank, I felt cruel feeding it to my baby no shade at anyone that uses it! We just use the normal one, probably took a week for him to get used to it. His poo went dark green for a few days but then it was back to normal


Yeah. Not gonna lie, my baby’s farts are potent

Ha I know it's disgusting isn't it, close your eyes and it's like you're on the farm

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Thank you ladies for the advice, I'll take the smelly poo and farts if it means I can get some sleep! Will let you know how we get on!

 

[moimoi]

I had my debrief at the hospital. It was me, my partner, a very senior obstetrician and a senior midwife. The dr asked me to run through my version of events and answered all questions I had. She explained their reasons for their actions (they weren’t defensive), they were very apologetic (I think they’re bricking it incase I take it further) and did actually help provide me with information and answers I didn’t know. I did get quite emotional but they were very understanding.

I asked to see my notes and I was allowed to read them at my own pace in a private room while I was feeding my baby. As an FYI, if you request to see your notes, they’re obliged to let you read them! Reading them helped make me piece things together and understand what happened as I was totally out of it at the time. Turns out my c-section under general anaesthetic was 3 minutes from start to finish (8:35 put under GA, 8:37 cut me open, 8:38 baby out) which I didn’t know!

I should also be hearing the response back from PALS about my complaint re: horrific postnatal care I received soon. The midwife there asked for further clarification about some of my complaints so they could tell off the right people.

One thing that pissed me off though is that they said the old ‘at least he’s here and healthy that’s all that matters’ and I said he’s probably my first and last and the dr was like ‘oh no! Have as many as you can! He brings you such joy it would be a shame not to have more! Give it a year!’ She also said she would personally do my next csection and make sure everything is ok.

 

[Definitelyme]

I had my debrief at the hospital. It was me, my partner, a very senior obstetrician and a senior midwife. The dr asked me to run through my version of events and answered all questions I had. She explained their reasons for their actions (they weren’t defensive), they were very apologetic (I think they’re bricking it incase I take it further) and did actually help provide me with information and answers I didn’t know. I did get quite emotional but they were very understanding.

I asked to see my notes and I was allowed to read them at my own pace in a private room while I was feeding my baby. As an FYI, if you request to see your notes, they’re obliged to let you read them! Reading them helped make me piece things together and understand what happened as I was totally out of it at the time. Turns out my c-section under general anaesthetic was 3 minutes from start to finish (8:35 put under GA, 8:37 cut me open, 8:38 baby out) which I didn’t know!

I should also be hearing the response back from PALS about my complaint re: horrific postnatal care I received soon. The midwife there asked for further clarification about some of my complaints so they could tell off the right people.

One thing that pissed me off though is that they said the old ‘at least he’s here and healthy that’s all that matters’ and I said he’s probably my first and last and the dr was like ‘oh no! Have as many as you can! He brings you such joy it would be a shame not to have more! Give it a year!’ She also said she would personally do my next csection and make sure everything is ok.

I’m glad you feel it went well overall, and they were able to give you more clarification around everything that happened. Do you feel in any way better (if that’s the right word? Lighter maybe?) for having had the appointment?

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

I had my debrief at the hospital. It was me, my partner, a very senior obstetrician and a senior midwife. The dr asked me to run through my version of events and answered all questions I had. She explained their reasons for their actions (they weren’t defensive), they were very apologetic (I think they’re bricking it incase I take it further) and did actually help provide me with information and answers I didn’t know. I did get quite emotional but they were very understanding.

I asked to see my notes and I was allowed to read them at my own pace in a private room while I was feeding my baby. As an FYI, if you request to see your notes, they’re obliged to let you read them! Reading them helped make me piece things together and understand what happened as I was totally out of it at the time. Turns out my c-section under general anaesthetic was 3 minutes from start to finish (8:35 put under GA, 8:37 cut me open, 8:38 baby out) which I didn’t know!

I should also be hearing the response back from PALS about my complaint re: horrific postnatal care I received soon. The midwife there asked for further clarification about some of my complaints so they could tell off the right people.

One thing that pissed me off though is that they said the old ‘at least he’s here and healthy that’s all that matters’ and I said he’s probably my first and last and the dr was like ‘oh no! Have as many as you can! He brings you such joy it would be a shame not to have more! Give it a year!’ She also said she would personally do my next csection and make sure everything is ok.

Glad it went well, I'm in the middle of my complaint at the mo I'm finding it very hard to write as it brings back awful memories, but I've requested a birth reflections meeting but it takes 3 months for the notes to come back apparently.

Did you feel like it helped alot? Xx