New baby and post birth advice #2

[LilyRose1234]

Have you tried a few different holds on the side she won’t feed from? when No4 arrived he was having trouble feeding on the left, so I held him in rugby ball position and it definitely helped, I like to think it fooled him in to thinking it was the right
How old is baby now? Sometimes difficulty feeding on one side (a sustained difficulty) can be linked to torticollis, have you noticed any other signs of that?

I’ll definitely try switching it up to see if that helps! I think I’m probably to quick (especially in the night ) to put her back down at the first sign of her falling asleep, whereas I need to persevere a little more to make sure she’s feeding fully! She’s 5 weeks now but no I haven’t noticed any other signs of that!

 

[Hbirdette]

Don’t know about you all but I’m AWFUL at printing photos off. We got some gorgeous professional ones done which are printed but the ones I take on my phone just stay there.
Anyway, I’ve been using FreePrints, I think you get 45 “free” photos a month and just pay about £3.99 for the postage. We do it every couple of months, they’re just stored in a box at the moment but will be nice to look back on

 

[Pinkii]

I can’t believe people actually give themselves permission to make unnecessary comments to mums!

 

[moimoi]

Does anyone have any tips on dealing with engorgement? Baby is only feeding from one boob and I find that about an hour after I feed the second boob gets solid as a rock and really uncomfortable. I want to express but also don’t want to increase my milk supply because I think it’ll make the problem worse but it’s so uncomfortable

are you happy with baby only feeding from one side? Do they have trouble latching on the other side? The ideal situation would be to have baby feeding off both, so if there is an issue then maybe a chat with a lactation consultant would help?
For the engorgement try to hand express off just enough to be comfortable (so not enough to signal to make loads more milk). You can use ice packs to try and relieve the pain and engorgement (and swap to heat before expressing), and the say cabbage leaves in your bra works wonders but I dunno about that one! You will need to keep a close eye that the engorgement doesn’t result in blocked ducts, and mastitis x

I was speaking to my breastfeeding support woman about this yesterday and she said exactly the same thing! She advised to hand express but not to completely drain the boob as like @Definitelyme rightly says it will signal the body to make more milk which is definitely not what you want!

 

[Sw4]

Hi I'm jumping on here having read a few of these posts but not all.

I'm nearly 6 weeks post csection delivery of my beautiful baby (first time mum). Recovery has been pretty good and tbh I've felt strong to do most things for a couple of weeks now but I've stopped myself. However this means I've been really reliant on my husband for lots of things to the point where I think I've become a bit too dependent.

From next week I want to start doing more things just myself and baby such as walks, meeting people for coffee and being able to finally drive! However I'm getting a lot of anxiety around this and I already feel like in these last couple of weeks since my husband went back to work I've been stuck in a rut of being cooped up in the house just sitting in front of the TV watching junk and looking after baby. I don't want this rut to continue but equally I'm really anxious about everything. Any tips? Hoping to start with a short walk every day and build from there but even that is making me a bit nervous

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Hi I'm jumping on here having read a few of these posts but not all.

I'm nearly 6 weeks post csection delivery of my beautiful baby (first time mum). Recovery has been pretty good and tbh I've felt strong to do most things for a couple of weeks now but I've stopped myself. However this means I've been really reliant on my husband for lots of things to the point where I think I've become a bit too dependent.

From next week I want to start doing more things just myself and baby such as walks, meeting people for coffee and being able to finally drive! However I'm getting a lot of anxiety around this and I already feel like in these last couple of weeks since my husband went back to work I've been stuck in a rut of being cooped up in the house just sitting in front of the TV watching junk and looking after baby. I don't want this rut to continue but equally I'm really anxious about everything. Any tips? Hoping to start with a short walk every day and build from there but even that is making me a bit nervous

No advice but I feel very much the same at the moment!

 

[Jojoo]

Don’t know about you all but I’m AWFUL at printing photos off. We got some gorgeous professional ones done which are printed but the ones I take on my phone just stay there.
Anyway, I’ve been using FreePrints, I think you get 45 “free” photos a month and just pay about £3.99 for the postage. We do it every couple of months, they’re just stored in a box at the moment but will be nice to look back on

Same but I started to do this and it’s really helped me keep on top, each box holds 100ish so every month I print some and pop in the box for that month. Then I do an albumn for the first year so a mix

 

[Hbirdette]

Hi I'm jumping on here having read a few of these posts but not all.

I'm nearly 6 weeks post csection delivery of my beautiful baby (first time mum). Recovery has been pretty good and tbh I've felt strong to do most things for a couple of weeks now but I've stopped myself. However this means I've been really reliant on my husband for lots of things to the point where I think I've become a bit too dependent.

From next week I want to start doing more things just myself and baby such as walks, meeting people for coffee and being able to finally drive! However I'm getting a lot of anxiety around this and I already feel like in these last couple of weeks since my husband went back to work I've been stuck in a rut of being cooped up in the house just sitting in front of the TV watching junk and looking after baby. I don't want this rut to continue but equally I'm really anxious about everything. Any tips? Hoping to start with a short walk every day and build from there but even that is making me a bit nervous

I think it’s sooooo easy to do this so you are absolutely not alone!
Do you have any friends with children that you could meet up with? Go to a baby sensory group? Swimming lessons? Are you walking distance from a shop? So if you need milk, instead of getting your husband to get it or driving there you could take a short walk? I still don’t like going to busy places (city centre) and I still get a bit panicky when I’m out on my own with baby but once I’ve done it I feel a bit better

 

[moimoi]

Hi I'm jumping on here having read a few of these posts but not all.

I'm nearly 6 weeks post csection delivery of my beautiful baby (first time mum). Recovery has been pretty good and tbh I've felt strong to do most things for a couple of weeks now but I've stopped myself. However this means I've been really reliant on my husband for lots of things to the point where I think I've become a bit too dependent.

From next week I want to start doing more things just myself and baby such as walks, meeting people for coffee and being able to finally drive! However I'm getting a lot of anxiety around this and I already feel like in these last couple of weeks since my husband went back to work I've been stuck in a rut of being cooped up in the house just sitting in front of the TV watching junk and looking after baby. I don't want this rut to continue but equally I'm really anxious about everything. Any tips? Hoping to start with a short walk every day and build from there but even that is making me a bit nervous

I’ve felt exactly the same as you post section and still do at 10 weeks, the thought of going out with a screaming baby fills me with such dread, but I’m trying to push myself. The first month is a complete blur now but I was so depressed as felt I was couch bound and was gonna be forever with a baby attached to me!

Daily evening walks with my partner after he finished work helped. I’ve also been slowly going back to the gym with my partner looking after baby which has helped me feel myself again and not just mum 24/7.

I also looked into local children’s groups and been to a couple of mother and baby sessions. This would usually be my idea of hell, forced socialising but it got me out and helped break the monotony of my day/week. Give the app Peanut ago too, I met someone last week and wasn’t awkward at all. It was nice meeting another ftm with a kid of similar age.

Today I also met with another mum who posted on a local mum group on Facebook asking if there are any mums who want to go for a walk together. Maybe you could look there too or make a post to see if anyone would like to join you? I never knew I could be such a social butterfly but it really helps to get out.

My next thing is to tackle public transport as that’s my biggest fear right now!!

 

[Sw4]

I think it’s sooooo easy to do this so you are absolutely not alone!
Do you have any friends with children that you could meet up with? Go to a baby sensory group? Swimming lessons? Are you walking distance from a shop? So if you need milk, instead of getting your husband to get it or driving there you could take a short walk? I still don’t like going to busy places (city centre) and I still get a bit panicky when I’m out on my own with baby but once I’ve done it I feel a bit better

Thank you...well swimming lessons will definitely be with my husband as that's what he's most excited about haha and yeah I definitely will do a sensory class but thought there's not much point doing one soon while she's so young? I could be wrong though. I will try and meet up with more people. I feel like it's silly things I get anxious about like handling the pram/car seat, baby stuff and baby all at once, what if baby screams while I'm in a cafe and I can't stop them, etc. It sounds minor and silly but I tend to get quite overwhelmed with handling too much STUFF pretty quickly- before baby I'd never even go out with a handbag as I hate carrying lots of things around, so going out with baby is a whole new ball game. I guess I just have to force myself and it will get better each time I hope.

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you...well swimming lessons will definitely be with my husband as that's what he's most excited about haha and yeah I definitely will do a sensory class but thought there's not much point doing one soon while she's so young? I could be wrong though. I will try and meet up with more people. I feel like it's silly things I get anxious about like handling the pram/car seat, baby stuff and baby all at once, what if baby screams while I'm in a cafe and I can't stop them, etc. It sounds minor and silly but I tend to get quite overwhelmed with handling too much STUFF pretty quickly- before baby I'd never even go out with a handbag as I hate carrying lots of things around, so going out with baby is a whole new ball game. I guess I just have to force myself and it will get better each time I hope.

You are so not alone in any of this! I was at the zoo yesterday and my 15wo was SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF. People were staring and I was sweating buckets under the pressure (whilst also wrangling 3 other kids). But we survived. And most of the people staring were other mums who were a) glad it wasn’t them and b) fully aware that these things happen With babies. But it’s a horrible feeling.

Try and commit to maybe 2/3 things a week that you say “ok I am DEFINITELY doing this on Wednesday” and go and do it. Once you start getting out and about it’s so much less scary than you think. Yes, we all have times were the stress levels rise, juggling bags ina shop with a buggy, and probably a crying baby, etc, but I promise you you will get through each of those sweat inducing moments And have so many more which are fine.

 

[Pinkii]

Thank you...well swimming lessons will definitely be with my husband as that's what he's most excited about haha and yeah I definitely will do a sensory class but thought there's not much point doing one soon while she's so young? I could be wrong though. I will try and meet up with more people. I feel like it's silly things I get anxious about like handling the pram/car seat, baby stuff and baby all at once, what if baby screams while I'm in a cafe and I can't stop them, etc. It sounds minor and silly but I tend to get quite overwhelmed with handling too much STUFF pretty quickly- before baby I'd never even go out with a handbag as I hate carrying lots of things around, so going out with baby is a whole new ball game. I guess I just have to force myself and it will get better each time I hope.

I think every new mum has the fear of a baby having a meltdown when out and about, but soon you’ll realise its not too bad.

My advice would be, just do it. If you think about it too much you’ll scare yourself and won’t ever get out. It took me ages to find the confidence to go out when i first had a baby and now I wish I did it sooner as I could have done so much with a newborn who can easily be taken anywhere lol

Just do a small thing everyday, A walk, coffee shop and then think about baby classes.

Baby sensory is definitely a good one, from about 3 months age as they really enjoy the stimulation. When my eldest used to go around 3/4 months she would have the longest nap after.

 

[Definitelyme]

Don’t know about you all but I’m AWFUL at printing photos off. We got some gorgeous professional ones done which are printed but the ones I take on my phone just stay there.
Anyway, I’ve been using FreePrints, I think you get 45 “free” photos a month and just pay about £3.99 for the postage. We do it every couple of months, they’re just stored in a box at the moment but will be nice to look back on

I use them, and have done 3 500 picture photo albums full from them! So handy doing it from your phone. I dunno if it’s actually great value (that seems steep postage to me!) but it is handy!

 

[Hbirdette]

Thank you...well swimming lessons will definitely be with my husband as that's what he's most excited about haha and yeah I definitely will do a sensory class but thought there's not much point doing one soon while she's so young? I could be wrong though. I will try and meet up with more people. I feel like it's silly things I get anxious about like handling the pram/car seat, baby stuff and baby all at once, what if baby screams while I'm in a cafe and I can't stop them, etc. It sounds minor and silly but I tend to get quite overwhelmed with handling too much STUFF pretty quickly- before baby I'd never even go out with a handbag as I hate carrying lots of things around, so going out with baby is a whole new ball game. I guess I just have to force myself and it will get better each time I hope.

honestly, I worry about these things too and I’m definitely not alone
I think when you’ve got a tiny newborn crying, a lot of people are more curious than anything. the first time I went out by myself I couldn’t for the life of me get the car seat back in the car and burst into tears whilst the person waiting to go in my parking space just sat there and watched. I can laugh about it now but I rang my husband at work and he was like....what do you want me to do?
I had a checklist on my phone so I knew what to take out but as long as you’ve got a spare change of clothes, nappy bag and milk if you need it- generally it goes smoothly
I would have done baby sensory when my little one was born but covid prevented it. One of my friends used to take her little boy and said sometimes he slept through it but sometimes he’d love looking at the lights. Plus you might meet other mums who feel exactly the same as you! Even if you go once and hate it, you don’t have to go back

 

[LilyRose1234]

Hi I'm jumping on here having read a few of these posts but not all.

I'm nearly 6 weeks post csection delivery of my beautiful baby (first time mum). Recovery has been pretty good and tbh I've felt strong to do most things for a couple of weeks now but I've stopped myself. However this means I've been really reliant on my husband for lots of things to the point where I think I've become a bit too dependent.

From next week I want to start doing more things just myself and baby such as walks, meeting people for coffee and being able to finally drive! However I'm getting a lot of anxiety around this and I already feel like in these last couple of weeks since my husband went back to work I've been stuck in a rut of being cooped up in the house just sitting in front of the TV watching junk and looking after baby. I don't want this rut to continue but equally I'm really anxious about everything. Any tips? Hoping to start with a short walk every day and build from there but even that is making me a bit nervous

I felt exactly the same as you, but each day I tried to get out the house for literally 5 minutes with the baby - we live in town so for example Costa is about a 3 minute walk away so I’d give baby a feed, pop her in a sling and go to Costa. If she was calm and sleepy then I might wander round a shop and over the days built up the time out the house. Obviously that’s much easier as we’re in close proximity but even just going for a quick walk around the block at the beginning!
Now I go out with her for a few hours to the shops etc (not everyday!!) and honestly the anxiety of the pram/car seat/bag full of essentials required for this teeny human/her having a meltdown is real every time we leave the house but I just kind of force myself otherwise I’ll stay in pjs all day! I believe it was one of the ladies on here who said “if in doubt whip it out” about breastfeeding and that’s what I do now - I have some enormous muslin squares so if she starts screaming I find somewhere quiet and give her a little feed to calm her down. If you’re FF maybe keep a bottle on hand to do the same? I do find though she’s calmer out the house with all the background noise etc. Good luck - you’ve got this!! X

 

[WhatABore]

Thank you...well swimming lessons will definitely be with my husband as that's what he's most excited about haha and yeah I definitely will do a sensory class but thought there's not much point doing one soon while she's so young? I could be wrong though. I will try and meet up with more people. I feel like it's silly things I get anxious about like handling the pram/car seat, baby stuff and baby all at once, what if baby screams while I'm in a cafe and I can't stop them, etc. It sounds minor and silly but I tend to get quite overwhelmed with handling too much STUFF pretty quickly- before baby I'd never even go out with a handbag as I hate carrying lots of things around, so going out with baby is a whole new ball game. I guess I just have to force myself and it will get better each time I hope.

They don't sound minor or silly at all.
3 kids later and I'm still anxious and panic about these things.
I get so agitated and flustered just trying to get 2 of them in the car!
Even as simple as taking my baby for her jabs tomorrow, I'm already panicking about!

 

[LilyRose1234]

They don't sound minor or silly at all.
3 kids later and I'm still anxious and panic about these things.
I get so agitated and flustered just trying to get 2 of them in the car!
Even as simple as taking my baby for her jabs tomorrow, I'm already panicking about!

Hats off to any of you leaving the house with more than 1 - 1 is hard enough

 

[Definitelyme]

Hats off to any of you leaving the house with more than 1 - 1 is hard enough

It gets easier with time, I don’t find it any harder leaving with 4 than I did with 1 or 2 (just more runs to the car with all the coats, hoodies etc!) Practice makes perfect!

My top tip for leaving the house is to always have your bag ready. So mine is always packed with everything we need, so I can leave and just grab it. I imagine a lot of people do that anyway, but I remember being really surprised hearing a friend totally unpacked hers every day! I keep spare clothes, nappies, wipes, purse, snacks, tissues, plasters, a mask, spare change all in there all the time. So I only need to add more snacks and drinks if we will be out a while.

They don't sound minor or silly at all.
3 kids later and I'm still anxious and panic about these things.
I get so agitated and flustered just trying to get 2 of them in the car!
Even as simple as taking my baby for her jabs tomorrow, I'm already panicking about!

Ahhh I hate going on short trips like the drs with all of them! The time taken to get everyone in and out, and back in and out is longer than the errand you’re running! (And all 3 of my older ones get in themselves, and two strap themselves in!) it just is the biggest annoyance. Hence why I try and palm them off to my parents’ if I need to run errands

 

[mg89]

It gets easier with time, I don’t find it any harder leaving with 4 than I did with 1 or 2 (just more runs to the car with all the coats, hoodies etc!) Practice makes perfect!

My top tip for leaving the house is to always have your bag ready. So mine is always packed with everything we need, so I can leave and just grab it. I imagine a lot of people do that anyway, but I remember being really surprised hearing a friend totally unpacked hers every day! I keep spare clothes, nappies, wipes, purse, snacks, tissues, plasters, a mask, spare change all in there all the time. So I only need to add more snacks and drinks if we will be out a while.

I do this! So much easier. Though I now regulsrly check the clothes as I went to a baby class, was late and little one had leaked through his nappy, all over his clothes. He was butt naked within 2 mins of saying hi to everyone at the class; I put on the clothes in the bag and the top was halfway down his forearms and the bottoms just passed his knees. Learnt my lesson from that one!

 

[Definitelyme]

I do this! So much easier. Though I now regulsrly check the clothes as I went to a baby class, was late and little one had leaked through his nappy, all over his clothes. He was butt naked within 2 mins of saying hi to everyone at the class; I put on the clothes in the bag and the top was halfway down his forearms and the bottoms just passed his knees. Learnt my lesson from that one!

Oh yes, that’s a good point! Whenever I change up a size in clothes for a baby I always try to remember to go and change what’s in the bag too. I’ve squeezed babies in to ill fitting babygros one too many times after nappy leaks I do the same with my 2.5yo too.
If you have older kids, I used to have a pair of leggings which “grew” so could do either of my older pair in an emergency, which worked well