New baby and post birth advice #2

[Definitelyme]

It’s kind of weird how after a month of refusing to say anything negative about my body etc, I’m actually feeling more comfortable and confident than before I was pregnant - fake it till you make it I guess! I just really don’t want baby girl growing up with the same body image issues that I had, especially when I look back at photos and realise I had nothing to worry about!

I know I keep saying about this book I’m reading, but it basically said fake it til you make it! If you tell yourself kind things about your body often enough, eventually it changes your mindset for real (apparently!)

I say all this, and I am desperate to get it right for my kids, but atm I’m pretty strict about what I eat because I’m still not where I want to be after pregnancy.

 

[LilyRose1234]

I know I keep saying about this book I’m reading, but it basically said fake it til you make it! If you tell yourself kind things about your body often enough, eventually it changes your mindset for real (apparently!)

I say all this, and I am desperate to get it right for my kids, but atm I’m pretty strict about what I eat because I’m still not where I want to be after pregnancy.

Haha honestly I think it’s changed my mindset!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either though, I think it’s possible to want to change yourself but still be positive if that makes sense? I’m happy with myself but also want to lose some weight - whereas before that would solely be because I hated my body, now it’s because I know I’m not as fit and healthy as I should be (well not fit and healthy at all ) and losing a little bit of weight and doing some exercise will make me healthier and better able to wing a heavy pram and ten tonnes of baby stuff around without putting my back out. I guess that while I don’t want her having food issues and hear me putting myself down, I also want her to grow up in a home where we have a relatively healthy lifestyle with everything in moderation and exercising for fun and for all the other benefits rather than just weight loss (she says having created a dent on the sofa from spending so long sat on her arse )

 

[Jojoo]

We should set up a post partum weight loss thread to support each other and also understand that sometimes you just need that chocolate bar to get through the day

 

[littlepup]

All this talk about changing mindset, anyone got any tips on not being a jaded cynic? I’m fully capable of having fun, being silly and not caring what I look like & I’m smiley and easy going but I find myself being moany and negative a lot in general and I really want to be the fun, positive, cheerleader, mum.
There was a meme ‘tag someone who’s a human form of sunshine’ and my first thought was ‘ha, what a load of old shite’ - then a friend was tagged by multiple times and they really are. I think I’d like to be a bit more like that and less the dismissive witch. I don’t want my girl to be jaded like me.

 

[Stimpii]

We should set up a post partum weight loss thread to support each other and also understand that sometimes you just need that chocolate bar to get through the day

There’s a really supportive weight loss thread over in the Off Topic section

 

[Definitelyme]

All this talk about changing mindset, anyone got any tips on not being a jaded cynic? I’m fully capable of having fun, being silly and not caring what I look like & I’m smiley and easy going but I find myself being moany and negative a lot in general and I really want to be the fun, positive, cheerleader, mum.
There was a meme ‘tag someone who’s a human form of sunshine’ and my first thought was ‘ha, what a load of old shite’ - then a friend was tagged by multiple times and they really are. I think I’d like to be a bit more like that and less the dismissive witch. I don’t want my girl to be jaded like me.

I think part of it is recognising the personality traits we have in ourselves that we don’t want to be displaying to our kids, and doing our best to reign them in. I’m a shouter with a short fuse, and I know that, and my biggest parenting trial daily is trying to keep that in check around the kids. Sometimes successful, sometimes not so much but I have started waking up in the morning and telling myself I’m gonna be the best parent that I can that day, and making a real effort to stop and think before I do/say things. I’m hoping over time it becomes more natural (although I’m 8 years in to parenting and still working on it )

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Today is the first day I've found that's nearly broke me, been in tears all night because baby just won't stop crying and I can't work out why, it's like she's in pain but even when she burps, farts or goes to the toilet it doesn't soothe her
My partner has taken his son to the cinema so I've been on my own and it's making me worry about how I'm going to cope when he goes back to work next week (he works 12 hour shifts aswell), not exactly sure of the point of this post but I just feel so helpless

 

[Squiggle]

Today is the first day I've found that's nearly broke me, been in tears all night because baby just won't stop crying and I can't work out why, it's like she's in pain but even when she burps, farts or goes to the toilet it doesn't soothe her
My partner has taken his son to the cinema so I've been on my own and it's making me worry about how I'm going to cope when he goes back to work next week (he works 12 hour shifts aswell), not exactly sure of the point of this post but I just feel so helpless

Oh lovely that is so so tough really feel for you! It's so hard when you can't soothe them, but you are doing amazing. Tomorrow is a new day sorry I can't be much more help. If I could, I'd come over and help!

 

[Icbaaaa]

Today is the first day I've found that's nearly broke me, been in tears all night because baby just won't stop crying and I can't work out why, it's like she's in pain but even when she burps, farts or goes to the toilet it doesn't soothe her
My partner has taken his son to the cinema so I've been on my own and it's making me worry about how I'm going to cope when he goes back to work next week (he works 12 hour shifts aswell), not exactly sure of the point of this post but I just feel so helpless

I hate when you don't know what's making them cry and it just upsets you so much. I've cried plenty of times over the same reason. Sometimes my daughter settles if I wrap her in a blanket and walk about with her for a good 10 mins or so and put on white noise. I feel ya on the 12 hour shifts

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I hate when you don't know what's making them cry and it just upsets you so much. I've cried plenty of times over the same reason. Sometimes my daughter settles if I wrap her in a blanket and walk about with her for a good 10 mins or so and put on white noise. I feel ya on the 12 hour shifts

Oh lovely that is so so tough really feel for you! It's so hard when you can't soothe them, but you are doing amazing. Tomorrow is a new day sorry I can't be much more help. If I could, I'd come over and help!

Thank you guys, sometimes it's just nice to know you're not alone

 

[littlepup]

Thank you guys, sometimes it's just nice to know you're not alone

Tiger in the tree hold and keeping moving sometimes helped us when it seemed to be linked to her tummy.

It’s so hard when you don’t know why they’re crying and nothing is helping. Everyone says it, but it really doesn’t last forever. That’s not helpful now but if you’re envisioning months & months of this, it’s really won’t be that way. As someone else said, tomorrow is a new day. Each day is a step closer to all their systems maturing and it all getting easier x

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you guys, sometimes it's just nice to know you're not alone

Oh friend, we’ve all been there and it is just awful to feel so out of control, and like you’re failing at it all. I’m sending my love, because oh gosh I’ve been there and it is just so overwhelming.

I agree with @littlepup about tiger in the tree hold, and lots of moving. If you haven’t already, try a sling. Either way, pop your favourite music on and just move about (I would say dance but if you’re in to heavy metal the dancing may be a bit rough for soothing ). You can only do your best. And I promise it won’t be like this every day when your OH is at work.

 

[Pinkii]

Today is the first day I've found that's nearly broke me, been in tears all night because baby just won't stop crying and I can't work out why, it's like she's in pain but even when she burps, farts or goes to the toilet it doesn't soothe her
My partner has taken his son to the cinema so I've been on my own and it's making me worry about how I'm going to cope when he goes back to work next week (he works 12 hour shifts aswell), not exactly sure of the point of this post but I just feel so helpless

How old is your baby? could it be reflux or milk allergy? Did it just start out of no where?

Sorry to hear its been a tough day, you’re doing amazing though, just take it one day at a time and don’t think about next week

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Sorry if this sounds silly
But does anyone else have huge health anxiety after giving birth?
I've been getting headaches and random quick pains in my leg or my chest and I've convinced myself there's something wrong with me. Even though the logical side of my brain is telling me its sleep deprivation mixed with general post birth pains (10 days post partum today) but I've got myself so worked up thinking something is wrong and I don't know what to do.

 

[WhatABore]

Today is the first day I've found that's nearly broke me, been in tears all night because baby just won't stop crying and I can't work out why, it's like she's in pain but even when she burps, farts or goes to the toilet it doesn't soothe her
My partner has taken his son to the cinema so I've been on my own and it's making me worry about how I'm going to cope when he goes back to work next week (he works 12 hour shifts aswell), not exactly sure of the point of this post but I just feel so helpless

I'm so sorry
The only time this has happened to me, my daughter was literally screaming in her cot. She was about 11 weeks old.
It sounded like she was in pain. Me and my partner were there snapping at each other because we were so stressed. We ended up calling 111 and taking her to the walk in centre because she just wouldn't stop!
Turns out it was bad colic!

It scared me that much that as soon as my daughter this time started grunting and bringing her knees up, I started her on colic drops! Wasn't risking it again!

 

[Pinkii]

Sorry if this sounds silly
But does anyone else have huge health anxiety after giving birth?
I've been getting headaches and random quick pains in my leg or my chest and I've convinced myself there's something wrong with me. Even though the logical side of my brain is telling me its sleep deprivation mixed with general post birth pains (10 days post partum today) but I've got myself so worked up thinking something is wrong and I don't know what to do.

Yes me! I was convined on day 5/6 i had a blood clot as I felt soo weird, my chest was sooo heavy, i felt like I was suffocating ( it was my milk coming in , but didn’t have that feeling with my first) and my body just felt really weird and tingly.

Think its quite normal, your hormones are all over the place and you have just gone through a major life event

 

[littlepup]

Sorry if this sounds silly
But does anyone else have huge health anxiety after giving birth?
I've been getting headaches and random quick pains in my leg or my chest and I've convinced myself there's something wrong with me. Even though the logical side of my brain is telling me its sleep deprivation mixed with general post birth pains (10 days post partum today) but I've got myself so worked up thinking something is wrong and I don't know what to do.

I think this was talked about quite a bit back in the thread or the previous one, lots of people felt something similar.
For me it’s all part and parcel of suddenly feeling terrified something was going to happen to baby, it extended to if not her then me. I’d not be here for her and she’d grow up without a Mum etc. I’ve suddenly become much more careful about myself for fear of not being here for her. My mum said she was the same when she became a Mum.
Could you be feeling like that?

 

[Definitelyme]

Sorry if this sounds silly
But does anyone else have huge health anxiety after giving birth?
I've been getting headaches and random quick pains in my leg or my chest and I've convinced myself there's something wrong with me. Even though the logical side of my brain is telling me its sleep deprivation mixed with general post birth pains (10 days post partum today) but I've got myself so worked up thinking something is wrong and I don't know what to do.

Yes. For me it’s because they tell you what to look out for (like sore chest can be a blood clot etc) and so every time I had A pain I imagine the worst. Mine always subsides.

 

[WhatABore]

Sorry if this sounds silly
But does anyone else have huge health anxiety after giving birth?
I've been getting headaches and random quick pains in my leg or my chest and I've convinced myself there's something wrong with me. Even though the logical side of my brain is telling me its sleep deprivation mixed with general post birth pains (10 days post partum today) but I've got myself so worked up thinking something is wrong and I don't know what to do.

I agree with others.
Me too.
And like @Definitelyme says, I think part of it is because they tell you to watch out for this and that and everything else which some are also normal things.
So they say things like.. Watch out for certain cramping pains. They mean to the extreme.. But in my head I'm like wait.. How much is too much? Is something wrong?
Or they tell you to look out for clots.. And I get a clot and I'm like wait? Is this too big? Is it supposed to happen?

I was constantly picturing what happens if I suddenly start bleeding because they hadn't removed everything or something.
How will they stop it to get me to the hospital... Will it be too late.. What if I lock the door.

So many things go through my mind!

I think it's very normal!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

How old is your baby? could it be reflux or milk allergy? Did it just start out of no where?

Sorry to hear its been a tough day, you’re doing amazing though, just take it one day at a time and don’t think about next week

She's only 2 weeks but she's been on infacol as the health visitor thought she had colic but this extreme crying only started today she's breast fed so maybe something in my diet causing it?!