Bloody Hometime #32 Remember that yoga retreat they went on together? This is just before they left. Nads bought Mark something to wear for yoga and before you can say this is a bit, Nads got him budgie smugglers from ASOS. One was leopard print and the other was white with some colours, I can't go into detail as they are just FUG. He tries them on over his shorts and we see a glimpse of Kiki leaving the room. Mark attempts to do a downward dog and what is supposed to be warrior pose. He looks like the Henckels knives logo. There is a debate on whether these are actually men's bottoms as Mark says there is an Always pad in them. I have Maddie screaming DAD! DAD! in my ears. He does a 3 legged dog pose and farts.
Mark is wearing a hard hat. I think another bit is coming up. "Nads! I had to take evasive action. That was enormous babe!" Nads says she has a very good gut. First they do fart jokes, now poop. Greeaaat. Mark is downstairs sans hat and sans dignity. He tells viewers that he is not looking forward to the retreat.
Colour me surprised! 
He says he is "really kinda shitting myself about yoga." Again with the
. "Three hours a day!"
Yes, I am concerned about others in the class being exposed to you and Nads for that long. Mark says he can barely bend down to tie up his laces. Awww. Goes on about all the logging in and tests to enter Spain and how he hasn't left the country for 2 years, like he was only one in lockdown. He says this yoga retreat is for "you guys" with his finger pointing towards the camera. "I'm taking one for the team."
He's such a brave whittle soldier. "I'm hoping you find this entertaining.
What? Two bourgeois saddos making asses of themselves overseas? Yeah, that has NTAs written all over it. He is wearing a black t-shirt that says "Trouble loves me."
Even Chi Chi can't be arsed to respond to him.
Oh look! It's a segment on them choosing a carry-on bag. This looks so exciting.
Mark holds up a knapsac of sorts in his man
tit tip. Nadia leaves the room and shouts something. Nadia is getting her tape measure. They don't want anything in the hold because of "dramas." Nadia says that BA says they can take one on that is 56 cm and one that is 40 cm. Mark starts moving the phone to him, to her, to him to her.
I whip my phone back and forth, I whip my phone back and forth 
This part needs a warning. Some footage contains crap direction that may induce nausea. Nadia says it's not good enough. Discussion of what to take with Maddie banging a chocolate orange in the kitchen. Shorts and t-shirts. Nadia goes on to say it will be 40 degrees, humidity "its like India over there," except it's Spain. More argy bargy about what to take, whilst loud noises come from the kitchen. Looking at other bags in the hovel. God this boring ! They are upstairs and they are getting hysterical now with their annoying yelling at each other. Now they are laughing and this is beyond tedious. For what seems to be the 10th time, Nadia has to explain to Mark the 2 bag limit; one is 40 cm for under the seat, one is 56 cm in the overhead. Mark passes gas again. Hysterics over measurements and the camera is jumping around like The House of Pain.
The walk-in looks relatively tidy and that is saying something. Nadia goes rooting around in closet and pulls out an ice skate.
So Mark's choices are a pink or Peanuts knapsack. It looks like Mark got a new laptop, as he puts it into the Peanuts bag. Ten minutes on looking for a bag. Nadia zaps Mark with the bug zapper. "That's for payback! And do you know what that payback's for? For all that stuff I told you not to put in the vlog of me as Kim Kardashian that you did!"
It was satisfying seeing her zap him. Time 24:30 and I have watched it 4x now. Apparently people were DMing Nads about what he put in the vlog.
She says everytime he does it, there is going to be a time when she zaps him again.
She does it again at 24:57. "That
bleeping hurts!" He tells her to stop flashing her anus.
Next is Nadia executing her demented bag jiggling her flesh dance with a Pringles can. She shoves her gob full of Pringles, broken pieces surround her like the detritus of her life, whilst Chi Chi eats the crumbs.
Nadia has packed. Mark is now tucking into his salad. Mark worried about being the sweatiest of them all in Spain. He is worried about soaking a yoga mat.
He is such a drip. 
Nadia says she doesn't want to be near him in the yoga room, as he is too embarassing and the farting.
She is just discovering this now? How long have they been together? Mark says it was for the crowd.
Yes for the all the 12-year-old fans of his. He says he can control it. We get a nice view of Nadia's hairline. "Is it really ginger?" Nads didn't have her usual colour, she used one she found in the bottom of the drawer. Mark hits Nadia in the face with the camera and laughs that stupid laugh of his. Cut to Nads packing Mark's crap. She even ironed his boxers. "Wow this is really interesting for everyone" says Mark.
Well, seeing Nads getting all domesticated is more interesting than the previous 25 mins. Mark, wearing a Worship Coffee tee, says it is all nice of her but the last time she packed his thing, he had not socks.
I dunno, check for socks maybe?
It's the night before they leave and Mark shows off his packed bag, as Nadia shaves the dogs. Chi chi wants snacks. Mark looks at the dog hair on Nadia's lap and asks if that is from her nuun, however that is supposed to be spelt. Toffee shook her head as Nadia was shaving her face. Aren't you supposed to use scissors, not clippers on the face? Why not take them to a professional? Why am I asking! As always, these two leave us with more questions than answers and so the next Hometime will be their yoga retreat I guess. Laters!
he just cannot commit 
too much work 
2 big/important meetings these past 2 weeks 
