Coffee Moaning for Wednesday. It is so weather has been so weird the past 2 weeks. It was cold last week going into single digits, this week we are in double digits, a max of 14 degrees Celsius. Hope you are all doing well. Title is "Are You a PEOPLE PLEASER, The Turpin Sisters, Sharks in the THAMES & RED PHONE BOXES." Oooh, I can't wait.
We are in Nadia's walk-in. She said something but the sentence was cut off. Whilst she was waiting for YouTube to download, she was reading the chatter in the chatbox. She gets all gushy over them, how they are all so lovely. "It warms my bloomin' heart, it does." Roll call. Nadia says they have amazing builders, they deserve them as they have gone too long without good ones.
"Can't wait for you to see our bathroom!"
Will this be used or is it for show? Mark is at a screening. Nadia has pain and random eyelashes on her elbow. She is off to lunch today. "What should we talk about first?" Sharks-aggressive taupe sharks are living in London's rivers. Grazia's little one has a cold. Mother Earth Nadia tells us about Maddie having a cold so bad, she sucked the snot out of her nose.
I don't think I will be having breakfast this morning. "Has anyone ever done that with their kid?" Karen asks about the sharks, are they aggressive or just pissed off they aren't in the sea?
The Thames was declared biologically dead 64 years ago. Have swum in the Thames? Nadia has and does not recommend it. "Who did I interview? Who's that guy who is always doing like ridiculous things like climbing Everest or rowing across the Atlantic? Ben someone, very posh, very lovely, grew up with Harry and Wills? What's his name? Blonde hair. Has a very posh wife." BEN FOGLE! Nadia had an epifanny as Kaye calls it, she berates herself for not remembering people's names, but will give you 25 facts about the person. "What'd ya think of that?"
Selective memory. I actually Googled and it is called anomic aphasia or dysnomia. Try that out on your family and friends.
Someone told Nads it was emotional intelligence.
The sharks are using the Thames as a nursery. Seahorses, oysters, seals, eels are also found in the Thames. Nadia says we need good news. Nadia mentions working with Thames Water, about putting oil down the sink. There is bad news at the end of this article, but she is not going to tell us. "Am I allowed to editorialize in this way? Yeah,
duck it. I'm in my cupboard, I can do what I like." Talk about baby's first words-pandemic and going into the world. Nadia misses smiling at babies and them smiling back.
Is she sure they are smiles and not grimaces or looks of terror? Some woman mentioned her baby's first word was mask. Nadia says Kiki's first 2 words when she banged her toe on the door was
bleeping hell.
Classy. She goes on to say it was awful and they laughed they heads off. Of course, this response meant she would say it all the time. Dina took her eldest to a private nursery. The end of the garden of this nursery a train went by and he said "It's a
bleeping train!"
Dina was also hungover and probably smelt of booze and as soon as he said that, she picked him up and ran out of there.
I am probably repeating myself, but I never heard my parents say anything beyond dammit and taking the Lord's name in vain at home. I certainly didn't hear anything coarse even in public until high school and that was even rare. Golden child's first word? HANDLE. They had the bathroom done and Kiki came home and was astonished the door had a lock on it. Nadia mentions they have grown up without handles, locks or even doors.
A word comes to mind...feral. Most chatters say the usual, mummy, daddy, sibling's names. Karen says her kid's first word was ASDA.
Angela alleges she said a whole sentence "Grandad you did that, because a seagull had
tit on your head."
Another says bubble and Nadia gets all verklempt and says how innocent that sounds compared to her fuckin hell.
Nadia
witches about her mum not remembering stuff about her childhood. She does say that before she had kids she was hurt by her mother not remembering, but once she kids should understood.
That is why baby books were invented, to write this stuff down. Chelsea Girl asks Nads if she is looking forward to the Ultimate Housewives Girls' Trip next week. "What's that Chelsea Girl!?!" Says she is looking forward to her girls' trip with Jane and Kaye to the Cotswolds.
How many trips is that now Tattlers? She says she is anxious about going away though. Boo hoo. Talking about how babies says juice "duce in a bobbob." Nads says she will be the type of gran who sits with them and a bobbob forever.
Will that bobbob have prosecco in it? I don't know what a CAM is, but a chatter says their child has anxiety and the CAMS said that she overmother him and pander and haven't even met her child. Nadia says Google Young Minds UK. Talk about wait lists.
Hold the presses guys! Are you ready for this? Nadia has just announced she is taking the same counselling course as Mark. She is going to start in September! Some swishing sound is going on and Nadia stops. "What is that? Oh, it's just the builder in the upstairs bathroom."
Downer storytime. Nadia thinks it is important to talk about it. The Turpin Sisters-remember the kids in California being locked away, tied up and barely fed by their creepy ass parents? Two sisters have talked to Diane Sawyer about their ordeal. "Oh my God, I want to cry."
Nadia goes on about how she can't understand how parents can do this to their kids.
They were part of that stupid Pentacostal/Quiverful movement, men are their heads of the household, women subservient and they have as many kids as God will allow them. Talk about being a neighbour, being suspicious but doing nothing. Nadia says she is going to write to the girls. Yeah right. Parents got life in prison.
Nostalgia. Britain acts to save red telephone boxes. "I love them." What are your memories of red phone boxes.
I remember them stinking of piss. 
Faith says a house near her has one in their driveway. Nadia talks about them being emblems of Britain "policemen with no guns and thingy hats."
Apparently the plan is for people in distress to access the phone through them. Someone suggests a defibrillator in them. Nadia asks if we can remember which vlog they saw a defibrillator in a phone box. Jean says they don't take up much room. Velvet Vicki isn't seeing a banner for being a member for 2 years.
Tina says to abandon the nostalgia as they stunk of wee and were vandalized. Nadia talks about phoning the boyfriend and wait for them to call you back, wait for the beep, beep, beep, ringing the operator and asking them to reverse the charges. Nadia says how she loves her mum, but she isn't a cuddly mum, but remembers calling her and reversing the charges and her mum would say "Oh yes!"straight away, knowing it was Nadia and being worried. "Is that a real sad
duck thing to say?" Sarah Jane says she is no longer a member, because she blocked the payment wondering why YouTube was taken money from her account and now she can't rejoin because of the block. Nadia says it is 37p a week or 47p.
Members area plug and Nadia is going to get Mark to roll sushi. "It's an absolute bargain."
When do we get to see the new bathroom? In the next 2 weeks, but don't hold your breath. Nadia says Mark is working hard on the vlogs and EDITING, she is worried about him.. "His sleep has gone terrible, he's getting 4 or 5 hours a night maximum!" CAN YOU PLEASE HIT THE LIKE BUTTON? HIT THE THUMBS UP JUST UNDERNEATH ME. ANYWAY MY DARLINGS, MY SWEETHEARTS, MY LOVELIES, MY ANGELS, MY CHICKEN PUFF POO-POOS, BUM BUMS,
THANK YOU FOR SPENDING THIS HALF HOUR WITH ME. I AM OFF TO DO YOGA WITH RACHEL NOW. CAN YOU HIT THE LIKE BUTTON, ONLY 89!?! THAT'S TERRIBLE. DID MARK PUT UP MY TASTY TOASTY SANDWICH PIZZA?
ANOTHER FUCKED UP TOASTIE? 
IT'S REALLY DELICIOUS AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT! I TELL YOU WHAT, I AM ON FIRE WITH MY TOASTED SANDWICHES. LOVE YOU LOTS, GOT TO CHECK THE BUILDERS ARE ALL ALRIGHT AND DO MY YOGA LESSON AAAAAAAAAAND I'VE GOT A LOT OF BITS AND PIECES I'VE GOT TO DO BEFORE I LEAVE. HOPEFULLY WHEN I COME BACK THE PAINTING WILL BE FINISHED...I'M REALLY NERVOUS, I THINK I GOT THE COLOUR WRONG AND MARK WAS LIKE "I DON'T CARE, I CAN SIT IN A BATH IN A BLACK ROOM."
I thought you were going? 
AND THEN KIKI WAS LIKE, "OH, I DON'T KNOW, JUST HAVE THE BLUE ONE" AND THEN I'M GOING TO CHOOSE THE COLOUR AND EVERYONE IS GONNA GO "OH NO, I DON'T LIKE THE COLOUR." ANYWAY, I LOVE YOU AND I WILL SEE YOU VERY SOON. BIG KISSES EVERYONE, DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE AND HIT THE NOTIFICATION BELL SO YOU ARE ALWAYS KNOW WE ARE HERE, BYE GUYS!
For someone who has to go somewhere and do things, she don't half hang about. Laters!
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and I hope you and all the other intelligent and decent and funny people on here are fine as well. Love 
