Coffee Moaning on Sunday. Did you watch the Afternoon Tea yesterday? I didn't. Did I miss anything other than the usual nonsense? Didn't think so.
Title is "Do We All DUMB Ourselves Down for Others, Quick FIXES for a HEALTHIER LIFE." I don't know about you, but I feel like my brain cells shrink watching these lives. Will Nads show up today?
Oh look! Nadia is with us with, as my Nana would say, her hair sticking out like sore fingers. The doofus is dressed like, a muppet with the faux fur hat and a Cookie Monster fleecy thing. How apropos! Apparently Mark has not slept all night. "We are fucked" says Nads. Nadia tells us they have both been sick for a while now. Nadia says she feels with people with long term illnesses.
I'm sorry, but poor sleep hygiene, boozing, binging isn't in the realm of a long term illness. "Your health is your wealth." Says so many people are feeling ill and feeling low. Trina says she is feeling great. Roll call. Daylene says she and her 6yo have tested positive for COVID and she feeling a little scared. Mark is trying to put the hoody up over his hat. Dipstick. Nadia tells her not to feel scared. She isn't over 60 so she will be fine.
How the duck does she know? Nadia says Jeremy Clarkson is close to 60 has had pneumonia, heart condition, maybe diabetes, got COVID and kicked it in 4 days.
That's debatable. 
Mark says Clarkson's farm programme is effin hilarious. Mark has his theory on why everyone is down is because the mood music is softening us up for a miserable time at Christmas.
What mood music? Abbey asks if they think the PCR tests aren't picking up new variants. Mark says he has been saying that for a while now.
Well la dee dah.
Nadia tells Mark to show off is onesie to cheer us all up. Yes, really. By the way, the NNSS will be a live on Monday. So, Cookie Monster eyes on top of the hood, on the back it says HUNGRY.
That's my mum's nickname for me, Cookie Monster. It's true though. Talk about Boris mentioning vaccines for all questions. Our resident Mother Shipton, Faith, says she feels they will say something on December 12th. Nadia says not to be so specific. Mark asks if Faith is reading the runes or tea leaves. Andrea is having a lazy Sunday pub lunch. Nadia says she is going make them a pub lunch.
What do you think? A Scotch egg, potted shrimp and pork scratchings wrap? Mark fiddles with the tag still on his hat. Nadia tells Mark he will have to go to the supermarket. "You're joking me!" "I'll cook the lunch, I'll cook the lunch." Mark is complaining of sore muscles, that's why no Sunday show and Nadia tells him that after this, he is to have a sleep. He basically feels he won't be able to. Nadia tells us about Mark lying about something, doesn't mention what and he confessed and she asked why did he lie in the first place.
Hello, that is all that goes on this channel. Remember the cushions? Mark asks if anyone looks at their phone when they are supposed to be sleeping and when someone comes by, you just put it down and pretend you have been sleeping. No, neither have I.
Nadia says yesterday was their snogaversary. "The girls went 'Oh don't celebrate with a snog.'" "They didn't like me doing the post. They don't like me doing anything." Mark can't remember when they snogged. Eww, Mark is hacking away and he is definitely NOT covering his mouth.
Nadia says Maddie has the same thing going on.
What? There isn't any thing in your magic box to cure it? 
Cesar thinks Mark has walking pneumonia and Nadia says thanks, because that is what she thinks he has.
Is he checking his phlegm colour? You will know if it changes colour. Do these people ever seen a physician? Mark asks what walking pneumonia is. Nadia says "It's when you're not half dead, but you've got it. It's what Elton John had."
Nadia has put her foot down and said he is going to doctor tomorrow. Someone in chat says they slipped 3 discs coughing like that.
I have had bronchitis and pneumonia and I am sure that is what caused my hiatal hernia, all that hacking. Nadia says he is coughing around the clock, she even filmed him.
Idiot.
Deborah had the non-COVID lurgy and she had hubs are going to Hastings to blow the cobwebs off. Nadia starts whinging about wanting to go away AGAIN! "Can't we go a day by the sea?" Mark suggests sitting in the garden. She says she will see Caz in Brighton, he mentions he hates Brighton. She suggests she goes to Brighton and he can spend the day writing. Mark mentions having double pneumonia as a boy and thinks you can only get it once.
God, he thinks it's chicken pox for crissakes. 
Nadia says they are boring people with their illnes chat. Mark blames her and says they should be talking about snogging. So this Afternoon Tea thing is their NEW Saturday show. Cesar says he has asthma and with a cough it can go into walking pneumonia. "THANK YOU CESAR!" says Nadia. Nadia says he only listens to the chatters never her. He now demonstrates his wheeze.
For someone almost a Phd. he is really dumb. See kids, just because you're educated, doesn't mean you're smart. Nadia asks where his asthma puffer is. He is worried about the antibiotics interacting with is bipolar meds and quite frankly MARK, that is the least of your worries, unless you want to end up in hospital
DIPSHIT! 
Other chatters say it is a chest infection and on and on and on it goes. Nadia
"And do you know what he did? Listen to this right, he was dying with his cough and he did a Joe Wicks, he was pouring with sweat, then he went outside. I said you could have a heart infection." MORON. Nadia says to Mark if he does a workout today, she is leaving him. "I'm not watching that self-murder." That is Nadia speak for suicide.
Mark is singing Doctor, Doctor. When he was a kid he saw them on the bus at Notting Gate, got on the bus to go up to them and say "You're the Thompson Twins" and promptly left. Nadia says one of his inhalers in the car. Mark said he found one in the dog bed.
I feel like just quitting this recap, because the stupidity is hurting my head. 
Mark's imaginary friend Kate Beckinsale made a post about dumbing oneself down for others. Some journalist got snide with her IQ claiming she was showing off. "It made me so cross that." Nads says Mark has fallen in love with her intelligence. Mark claims his is 150 and that puts one in the very superior range, I Googled it.
Liar, liar, pants on fire. Kate's is apparently 152. After liking her post, Nadia realized that she has never had to dumb herself down.
Mark says she may be of average academic intelligence, but she is whipsmart intelligent in other areas of life. Nadia says her emotional intelligence would beat Mark. Nadia says men never have to dumb themselves down on a date. (I remember someone talking about me when I was younger, saying I would never get a date if I didn't dumb myself down. Like I gave 2 fucks.
) Zoe says she wishes she had the option for
duck's sake.
Mark said his nan hid her intelligence under a bushel. Nads says her mum is quiet but then all of a sudden she fires one of her darts and makes everyone take notice. Their Michelle says she overheard a teacher say that she wasn't as dumb as she looked and she wanted to know how dumb she did look.
The more Nadia thinks about she does recall dumbing herself down with boys. Talk about their girls and specifically one of them and Mark says none of them, look at Izzy and Fleur. Gloria says she would never dumb down, what you see is what you get. Nadia says she remembers everything about other people's lives, because that interests her. Get this, Mark says that so many people in his life have bludgeoned him with their intelligence and how smart they are.
Umm, Mr. Kettle is on line 1 for Mark. 
Nads says Mark shouldn't be embarassed about his intelligence. Blah, blah, blah. Mark leaves to let Toffee out. Nicola feels dumber after her mini strokes. "How do you know when you have had mini strokes? I've sometimes wondered if I have had mini strokes."
These lives are stroke inducing. Soph says she was bullied for being clever. Talk about some teachers who are threatened by bright children Toffee fell off a chair. Lucy pumps Mark's tires by saying his dumbing down shows emotional intelligence.
Mark says he has never talked about the things he wants to talk about in an extensive manner that he wishes to.
So the company he keeps ain't up to the challenge then? Nadia asks if that is why people go into an academic life and would he had been more suited to it? He lost interest with academia after 1 year. Nads says well maybe that is why he is going for his masters in psychology. More blah, blah. Funny note, Nadia used to talk to people are refer to her self as a self-defecating person.
The resident BLM dude Reece says it is important to find an assertive inner voice. Has been talked down to when people have remarked that he is very articulate.
Yeah that old chestnut, you can choose to be offended. Are we taking on everything thing that goes on in the States? Black ally Mark says he can well-imagine that. Sophie broke-up with a bf because he was too smart. Nads says they compliment each other, but if they had met earlier she would have been intimidated.
I was bothered by a bf who came from a wealthy family, a red Tory. Cuz the sex was that good, I didn't stay bothered. Mark posted something from Izzy that says the gov't is going to stop financing student loans for degrees they deem "soft and creative."
Bloody STEM!!! Mark says we might as well be enslaved by the system. They only what us to do things that are productive. "This is industrial Victorian Britain."
Ah yes, "Hard Times" by Dickens. 
Look out, cuz Mark is on a tear now. Did you know that Mark was one of two kids in his class that went to uni? Now you know. Melanie is doing a useful science degree and hates the degradation of the arts.
Yeah, my guidance counsellor told me, it's nice to do an arts degree at university. You get a nice appreciation of life, BUT YOU WON'T MAKE A LOT OF MONEY. This dude was a priest as well. Still worn plaid bellbottoms, it was 1988! 
The both look down under the table, it's Toffs Mark thinks they may need the loo. "Oh yeah, open the door" says Nads.
A chatter says their old college doesn't offer languages, focuses on science because of the grants. "Fuckin hell, what are we becoming? We are going backwards."
Quick fixes for a healthier life. Go for a 10 mins stroll after a meal.
I can't walk on a full stomach myself. Nads would love to go for a walk after dinner, but she can't because she is a WOMYN. Eat an orange a day for eyesight.
Screw that, irritates my stomach. Mark hates oranges. If Nadia was in Morocco she would. Cut salt intake by half a teaspoon. No more than 1 tsp a day. Change the order in which you eat your food. Leave carbs until last during your meal. Diabetics who did that, it was more beneficial. Mug of warm milk to help you sleep.
Duh. Nadia wonders if that is why she is sleepy after a milky coffee. Eat nuts and Nadia says Brits are scared of nuts. Eating 25 grams of nuts a day created a 15% cut heart disease risk. Nadia warns us to keep the nuts in the freezer. Almonds, Mark hates them confirming there is something wrong with him. Walnuts he likes and well those can give you canker sores, but he is probably into that. Nadia emphasizes they have to be RAW. She is really scratching her head hard at the moment. Eww. "Brazil nuts are good."
You can poison yourself if you eat more than 3 in a day. Mark tells us his film reviews coming up, Venom, Dune, French Dispatch, Last Duel. Back to food, eat Greek yoghurt for bones and blood sugar spikes. Nadia loves her yoghurt in the morning. Eat an avocado for belly fat for women, gut microbes. Two apples a day to reduce cholesterol. Five prunes a day for you heart. Nads suggests almond butter and apples.
Unless you are allergic, just use peanut butter. It had loads more protein than almond butter. Somone asks if Nadia is on statins. She is not...YET.
Yeah, I'm going to hell. I have been working on my handbasket this weekend. Nads is losing weight, show us her abs.
They are exhausted so they have to go. NN Monday Show at noon. It's half term. Nadia has whatever she wants in 8 hours Natasha. She had McDonald's 2 days in a row for her dinner.
As someone who does partake in the fast food, I would never eat that 2 days in a row. McDick's is not that good, even by take-out burger standards. HIT THE LIKE BUTTON. 770 WATCHING, 160 LIKES. COME ON WE HAVE COME FROM OUT SICK BEDS TO TALK TO YOU. LATER TODAY IS A FILM THEY DID WITH A BRAND WITH MADDIE AND NANNY DI. TOMORROW A CHICKEN AND PASTA DINNER AND MINI BANANA PANCAKE THINGS WITH CHOCOLATE. NORMAL VLOG TOMORROW AND VENOM REVIEW TOMORROW. BROWN BANANAS AND CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. Zoe is having a roast and Nadia has wanted one all week. Wah, wah. END OF THE WEEK GFH. THANK YOU GUYS LOTS OF LOVE. Buh bye.
oh dear!
before it's too late 