Mr an Mrs quiz:
Lee: Nadia what was your favourite subject at school?
Nadia: latin
Yeah really?
Did you notice Lee Said a couple of minutes later : carpe dium
Nadia "the latin" subject lover looked so gormless, she didn't have an effing idea what it meant and was terrified Lee would ask ( she looked down at that point)
Ok not everyone knows what it means but someone who loves latin should !!!!! It means seize the day! Wonder how you say liar in latin, she only said it to win the point against Mark
[/QUOT
Did you do a typo as it is Carpe Diem. It is my favourite saying and I have it printed on lots of things, even stayed in a hotel because it was called Carpe Diem
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I noticed some of the comments in the live chat asked : does Mark work? Who earns more Mark or Nadia?
Mr an Mrs quiz:
Lee: Nadia what was your favourite subject at school?
Nadia: latin
Yeah really?
Did you notice Lee Said a couple of minutes later : carpe dium
Nadia "the latin" subject lover looked so gormless, she didn't have an effing idea what it meant and was terrified Lee would ask ( she looked down at that point)
Ok not everyone knows what it means but someone who loves latin should !!!!! It means seize the day! Wonder how you say liar in latin, she only said it to win the point against Mark
It is obvious Mark can see the comments as his face starts to look like a cats arse.She does! She is just cashing in on "body positivity" now.
Yep, and only when it suits her.
She keeps stating that she has a "real" body as a "real" mum with 2 kids.
That's not positive to all women, that's just positive to her. What are mums who have maintained a normal weight, and haven't let themselves go? Not real? Fake mums?
She's inadvertently putting down other women to make her feel better about her body. She keeps saying there's nothing wrong with anyone else's body, and she's not criticising it... but she keeps implying her body is more "real" than others.
On coffee boring they are telling Lisa their channel all started from Marks “popcorn junkies- black pantha review”
I wish they would tell the TRUTH....Nadia and Kay had a channel....
Then Nadia took subs to her channel ....Then Jealous Mark ...changed channel to sawahla-Adderley STEALING all the original subs .....PLUS buying some BOTS to increase sub numbers.......”Well Done Mark!”...devious liar
28:18 start time
I wish they would tell the TRUTH....Nadia and Kay had a channel....
Then Nadia took subs to her channel ....Then Jealous Mark ...changed channel to sawahla-Adderley STEALING all the original subs .....PLUS buying some BOTS to increase sub numbers.......”Well Done Mark!”...devious liar
28:18 start time
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If she didnt keep going on about weight loss,weight gain,plant based,this diet ,that diet,no one would notice or give a tit about her weight,shes purely drawing attention to it,by exposing herself the way she does,shes a pain in the arse.
Exciting news, Tattlers. There is going to be a second bestselling Book from Nitty and Nutty...and I have stolen managed to obtain the opening chapter from it.
The Kindness of Nitty Swadderley Off The Telly
A Work of Fiction
Chapter One - Morning Has Broken
It was a Thursday morning and Nitty was standing in her beautifully-appointed kitchen that was so familiar to readers of Hello! magazine. She was delicately finishing off a bowl of last night’s Spaghetti a la Strawberry Cheesecake that somehow had not been eaten by her grateful, perfect family who loved her so very much.
While the early rays of sun haloed Nitty’s beautifully-tousled mane, her face betrayed a niggling concern that had been growing within her.
Was it that her Loose Women colleague Saira Khan had implied on theratings-busting award-winning Daytime show that she was an irresponsible parent because she put no controls or limits on how her children could access social media? As if, she chuckled to herself in not remotely a geezer-ish way. She knew that her daughters were a model of fine parenting. Her eldest, NotAmy, was setting the music business alight from a park nearby with her catchy uplifting songs. Whereas her youngest, whose name escaped her momentarily, hadn’t woke up screaming after watching an 18+ horror movie for at least three weeks. Nitty smiled kindly to herself. Saira is just jealous of me, she concluded. Like so many others had been over the years. It was a price she had to pay and yet somehow she found it in her heart to forgive them. After all she was the Norwood Queen of Kindness.
It must be something else that was concerning her. She began to wander past the eighteenth gifted Ninja appliance, the cobwebs gentling wafting in her wake when the former and much-missed EastEnders actress felt something crunch under her rustic feet.
It was some cake crumbs that had hardened on the floor after weeks of somehow going unnoticed. Standards were slipping she thought. I’ll give that lazy good-for-nothing sister, Dinner Sawalha, a piece of my mind for not cleaning my home properly. She thought of all the times she had very kindly made Dinner’s recipes incredibly popular by promoting them on her YouTube Reality Show and on Masterchef. What an ungrateful cow, she thought to herself, the innate kindness still oozing from every pore.
The crunch of the crispy crumbs underhoof added a new mystery. Where had these come from? They weren’t from one of her own beautiful cake creations. Not covered in olive oil and cumin for a start as every MasterChef winner would naturally include in their recipe. Nor were they squished on one side like the crumbs from the entirely unique Dangerously Sloping Lemonish Cake she had kindly gifted to her prescription-pills addled mother-in-law on her birthday.
And then she had it. It must have been from the cake that her publishers had sent round as part of the industry-shattering celebration for their chart-topping bestseller pamphlet, Honey I Took The Kids To The Local Cinema. Nitty knew the cake wasn’t very good. The local cake maker had committed that basic cookery error of making it symmetrical but not everyone can be a MasterChef like me. She couldn’t help but pity the girl who delivered it. There was only one thing for it. She had to give her one of her very generous hugs while simultaneously taking a photo of it - social distancing be damned, this cake maker needs a spark of joy in her South London life.
Nitty thought about cleaning up the crumbs but couldn’t remember where the “dustpan and brush” were. Probably up in NotAmy’s room along with the eight tin openers she had taken up there to impress her friends.
As she wandered aimlessly past open drawer after open drawer, the niggling worry persisted. Had she keep that cinema ticket from last week’s trip to the Everyman Cinema? She would need that later to justify the grand she was deducting from her tax. Yes it was only £15.10 to get in but Nitty reckoned if she sold it in an auction of celebrity memorabilia one of the subs would have paid easily over a thousand pounds for it. So she in fact was being kind to all the taxers of the UK by only deducting a grand for it on her tax return. She rummaged in her coat pocket, which conveniently was on the floordrobe nearby. There it was. A little wine-stained and grubby and so was the ticket.
She felt the frustration rising. What was unnerving her so much? She had done everything a deeply kind person would do. She had updated her loyal following why the pregnancy suit for Manky that they hadn’t ordered hadn’t arrived yet. She had tweeted to Piers Morgan to be kind despite having slagged him off for weeks on the live vlog. She had booked several Ocado slots for the weeks ahead in case there was a second lockdown and she needed to help out those imaginary old people in her ghetto neighbourhood. She had even checked with her parents if her talentless younger sister the Spawn of Beelzebub was visiting any time soon so she could book another luxuxy tax-deductible hotel in Central London to kindly help the local economy.
Baffled, she wandered out onto the patio, stepping over the crisp packets, dead plants and spare stones from the path to nowhere. She tried to distract herself by planning her next attention-seeking, Readers-Wives style, body-confidence-raising nudie snaps and wondered what excuse she could use this time to justify her bestowing Mama’s Baps upon the nation this week.
Suddenly she felt a chill Norwood wind on her face. It would be winter soon. She felt her stomach sink and for once it wasn’t the weight of four MacDonalds plant-based Big Macs yielding to gravity. Our Queen of Kindness gulped in cold realisation.
It would be winter soon and, apart from a Covid second wave inexplicably as she had followed the government guidance pretty much to the letter, Winter would only bring one thing: Melanie Blake promoting her new book with a round of tell-all interviews. She gulped hard at the thought of the showbiz tales that Manky wouldn’t be able to delete. How could the Queen of Kindness keep hold of her crown?
The Kindness of Nitty Swadderley Off The Telly
A Work of Fiction
Chapter One - Morning Has Broken
It was a Thursday morning and Nitty was standing in her beautifully-appointed kitchen that was so familiar to readers of Hello! magazine. She was delicately finishing off a bowl of last night’s Spaghetti a la Strawberry Cheesecake that somehow had not been eaten by her grateful, perfect family who loved her so very much.
While the early rays of sun haloed Nitty’s beautifully-tousled mane, her face betrayed a niggling concern that had been growing within her.
Was it that her Loose Women colleague Saira Khan had implied on the
It must be something else that was concerning her. She began to wander past the eighteenth gifted Ninja appliance, the cobwebs gentling wafting in her wake when the former and much-missed EastEnders actress felt something crunch under her rustic feet.
It was some cake crumbs that had hardened on the floor after weeks of somehow going unnoticed. Standards were slipping she thought. I’ll give that lazy good-for-nothing sister, Dinner Sawalha, a piece of my mind for not cleaning my home properly. She thought of all the times she had very kindly made Dinner’s recipes incredibly popular by promoting them on her YouTube Reality Show and on Masterchef. What an ungrateful cow, she thought to herself, the innate kindness still oozing from every pore.
The crunch of the crispy crumbs underhoof added a new mystery. Where had these come from? They weren’t from one of her own beautiful cake creations. Not covered in olive oil and cumin for a start as every MasterChef winner would naturally include in their recipe. Nor were they squished on one side like the crumbs from the entirely unique Dangerously Sloping Lemonish Cake she had kindly gifted to her prescription-pills addled mother-in-law on her birthday.
And then she had it. It must have been from the cake that her publishers had sent round as part of the industry-shattering celebration for their
Nitty thought about cleaning up the crumbs but couldn’t remember where the “dustpan and brush” were. Probably up in NotAmy’s room along with the eight tin openers she had taken up there to impress her friends.
As she wandered aimlessly past open drawer after open drawer, the niggling worry persisted. Had she keep that cinema ticket from last week’s trip to the Everyman Cinema? She would need that later to justify the grand she was deducting from her tax. Yes it was only £15.10 to get in but Nitty reckoned if she sold it in an auction of celebrity memorabilia one of the subs would have paid easily over a thousand pounds for it. So she in fact was being kind to all the taxers of the UK by only deducting a grand for it on her tax return. She rummaged in her coat pocket, which conveniently was on the floordrobe nearby. There it was. A little wine-stained and grubby and so was the ticket.
She felt the frustration rising. What was unnerving her so much? She had done everything a deeply kind person would do. She had updated her loyal following why the pregnancy suit for Manky that they hadn’t ordered hadn’t arrived yet. She had tweeted to Piers Morgan to be kind despite having slagged him off for weeks on the live vlog. She had booked several Ocado slots for the weeks ahead in case there was a second lockdown and she needed to help out those imaginary old people in her ghetto neighbourhood. She had even checked with her parents if her talentless younger sister the Spawn of Beelzebub was visiting any time soon so she could book another luxuxy tax-deductible hotel in Central London to kindly help the local economy.
Baffled, she wandered out onto the patio, stepping over the crisp packets, dead plants and spare stones from the path to nowhere. She tried to distract herself by planning her next attention-seeking, Readers-Wives style, body-confidence-raising nudie snaps and wondered what excuse she could use this time to justify her bestowing Mama’s Baps upon the nation this week.
Suddenly she felt a chill Norwood wind on her face. It would be winter soon. She felt her stomach sink and for once it wasn’t the weight of four MacDonalds plant-based Big Macs yielding to gravity. Our Queen of Kindness gulped in cold realisation.
It would be winter soon and, apart from a Covid second wave inexplicably as she had followed the government guidance pretty much to the letter, Winter would only bring one thing: Melanie Blake promoting her new book with a round of tell-all interviews. She gulped hard at the thought of the showbiz tales that Manky wouldn’t be able to delete. How could the Queen of Kindness keep hold of her crown?
HAHA I also agree. I'm sorry but no one wants to see that in the morning
Guess who's back in case you missed him?
Thats right Mental marky!!
I don,t know about you but thats one character/inner child that didn,t need resurrecting!
Its like a cross between/mad hybrid of edvard munch's painting the scream and walter from the muppets!
Thats right Mental marky!!
I don,t know about you but thats one character/inner child that didn,t need resurrecting!
Its like a cross between/mad hybrid of edvard munch's painting the scream and walter from the muppets!
Attachments
Absolutely amazing.
I couldn’t press the heart emoji more than once so here they are ChattyDan
Great story- I thought of a name for Dina in your fairy tale DinaRELLA
haha I like that. I called her Dinner as she’s the only one who can cook.I couldn’t press the heart emoji more than once so here they are ChattyDan
Great story- I thought of a name for Dina in your fairy tale DinaRELLA
Brilliant. Had a good chuckle to that!
They have finally admitted that youtube is Mark's full time job.
Lisa said “Yes every time I come he says he’s editing”
..... EDITING the gnomes FREE SPEACH more like!
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That is brilliant. You are such a gifted writer. You have made me laugh so much I cried. You tattlers have a wonderful sense of humour. I think I said something similar a few weeks ago, but I really loved this story. You could perhaps send it publishers to see if they love it too or even print this first chapter and send it to various people
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