Is it Noddy with her teeny tiny car? If so, then anyone with a BMI of over 26 (i.e. morbidly obese) will cause severe damage to the ickle car.
Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh
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Obviously she tells him that since she shagged the entire Band of the Household Cavalry* in the back of her car** when her DH was away on a stag weekend her husband doesn't like men anywhere near her car. She tearfully admitted her perfidy and begged forgiveness, and because she is very tiny and size Miniature French,and he accepted it was his fault for neglecting her for two days, he forgave her, but now he won't let another man even look at her car, never mind get into it, and as he knows she particularly loves a chubby, he would probably kill the colleague - likely on one Friday evening on his (husband's) way home from his MMA session. So no. He can't have a lift.
*Not the horses
** One at a time
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She should just admit that she doesn't want his sweaty arse in a confined space with her.
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I think this is a troll. The (f45) bollocks is a Reddit thing. Can't say they don't know their audience...
Wrong brother.
Started a diet so ventured into the mnet diet section, saw this and made a hasty retreat.
No honestly, no disordered eating there
No honestly, no disordered eating there
Fat colleague wrecking the car is a repeat theme. I think it's possibly the same person as fat relative/neighbour damaged my suspension/sofa/picnic bench. I definitely remember this sort of thread coming up before.
There was someone posting about a fat relative sitting on their toilet and breaking it too.
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That M(35) F(30) thing annoys the living tit out of me for some reason.
Well it's rarely relevant, for a start. Who cares about anyone's age or sex in a made-up story about a fatty in a car? The only figures we need are the ones to show how hugely, metal-bendingly, car-destroyingly blobsome and disgusting the fictitious fatty is. They've made him a man so they can't just say he's a size 14.
Of course she had to tell everyone it’s the US. She’s just salivating waiting for someone to tell her how brave she is “because GUNS”. Everyone in the hotel will have GUNS!!! Her problem is her husband is bleeping lazy. If he wants the trash out of the room, he can take it. The US is no more a foreign country to the UK than Ireland is.I’m pretty risk-averse in my parenting, but WTF?
OP needs to stop reading so many of those crappy 99p Kindle thrillers
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Some people’s parents should have employed the foreskin parcel protocol a little more often. Then we would be spared some of these idiots.
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Woman in her 40s asks for advice on clothes (always a risky move on MN)…and this gem has been suggested
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Some melt is terrified about her son going to tenerife with his girlfriend.
I won't say my thoughts on this!
I won't say my thoughts on this!
Why on earth is she terrified about that? My middle kid has just got back from 10 days in Portugal and Spain on his own, obviously I was shitting myself with fear as he is only 26, just a mere baybee
Those fuckers want to make up their minds, either they want their kids to duck off at 18 or they want to install a tracker on their adult kids in case they fall prey to people traffickers
Maybe she’s worried he will mix with the poors and eat too many carbs at the AI buffet.Why on earth is she terrified about that? My middle kid has just got back from 10 days in Portugal and Spain on his own, obviously I was shitting myself with fear as he is only 26, just a mere baybee
Those fuckers want to make up their minds, either they want their kids to duck off at 18 or they want to install a tracker on their adult kids in case they fall prey to people traffickers
Or the ever-present worry that he will get abducted whilst walking down a hotel corridor
That’s only dangerous in America because we are a “foreign country”. And we have GUNS! I wanted to reply to her that next time she is forced by her lazy husband to do something as dangerous as walking along the corridor in a Marriott she should let me know, and I’ll escort her on the perilous journey with my Glock.Or the ever-present worry that he will get abducted whilst walking down a hotel corridor
Ok @bread-pitt Now I'm imagining Judge Judy doing commando rolls down a corridor with an uzi 
The worst thing that’s going to happen to that kid in Tenerife is running out of beer money.
I’m more Huge Judy than Judge Judy.Ok @bread-pitt Now I'm imagining Judge Judy doing commando rolls down a corridor with an uzi
I can't wait to go tenerife in August and look for all the mumsnetter children sitting looking terrified Round the pool at the people with their AI bands on and a death grip on their passports.
Then I'm going to Greece next year self catering so I better get saving for my bread, cheese and ham!
Then I'm going to Greece next year self catering so I better get saving for my bread, cheese and ham!
Will your bread be crusty? <head tilt>
I haven’t been to the US in a while so things may well have changed. But do kidnappers routinely check into the Marriot and park themselves at the peephole on the off chance a British teen will be strolling down so they can leap out and drag them into the room?
Can you recommend any hotel chains not frequented by characters from SVU?
Can you recommend any hotel chains not frequented by characters from SVU?
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