Mumsnet #39 Chatbot or fatbot?

[Kikini Bamalam]

The Ocado thread has been deleted … they have now started a competitive starvation thread

I might go tell them I am 4'3" and 37 stone

 

[cat_follower]

Just saw a mumsnetter call nudes ‘mucky pics’ they can make literally anything sound awful with their pearl clutching tweeness. Mucky pics ! Fuck off!!!!

 

[cowtastrophe]

Good god.
Imagine knowing all your orgasms were choreographed by your FIL. No wonder they only have sex once a year.

Reminds me of the time my first boyfriend told me his dad had told him ‘give her one from me’. Shrivel.

 

[holasun]

Who is this then - own up?!

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

The thread about McDonald's not being too bad is quite refreshing. Inevitably there are people who think it literally isn't food (it literally is) and cough like a canary whenever they pass one, but most people seem to be in agreement that while it's never going to be a "healthy" option, it's really not as bad as a lot of other stuff that doesn't get demonised anywhere near as much.

 

[cat_follower]

That dog would have fit in nicely at mumsnet, those losers love transphobia!

Here’s someone who wins the award for cuntiest reason to keep books you’ve read

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Embassy poster wants to make it clear that she'll only call you fat if she doesn't like you. And despite being so consumed with worry about A&E and her drunk husband, she still has energy for warning the fatties.

 

[girlinbrum]

Not suprised they avoid bananas, probably too phallic for them.

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

I cannot believe I've just googled this for you all.
Semen contains between 5 to 25 calories per "portion".

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Please can someone go on there and point out that maybe it isn’t working for Biwi as she’s only lost about 6lb in 10 years

 

[LilyPond]

My guilty pleasure is I sniff a banana once a week, please no one tell the mean boot camp lady!

Mate, BIWI aka The Carbfinder General will be after you for that

 

[Sglodion]

Tattlers, I am back in the UK after my Tui all inclusive and am sobbing and shaking because something tripped the leccy and all my freezer food has gone off I’ve just tipped about £150 worth of rotten food into the compost bin and oh my goodness, the smell was like someone had died in the house while we were away.

So like a true Mumsnetter, I have nothing in the house to eat apart from a bag of lentils. Send UPF urgently! None of us can go cold turkey after consuming 200,000 calories a day for the last 10 days. We will die of malnutrition.

Ah this happened to me once but I'd been away for six weeks!! My friend came over to check on something or other in the house, opened the fridge and texted to let me know a small cloud of flies had emerged the freezer had had quite a big ice build up before this, so it all melted and all the drawers were half full of mouldy fish water. In the end I re-froze it all, hauled the drawers out to the back yard at about 1am before bin day with plastic gloves and sacks over my clothes, let it thaw just enough to remove the salmonella-ridden ice blocks the from the drawers, chopped them up with a small axe and stuffed them into heavy duty bin bags. I'm amazed none of my neighbours called the police

 

[Brandshinynew]

Maybe the scaffolders are too busy taking scaffolding drugs and forget they own scaffolding dotted around the country??

 

[FeloniousMonk]

Ok which one of you absolute legends did this? It's got them all frothing, no way can Tarquin and Syphilis go to war, they've got tennis practice at 4 and rowing at 7!!11!1!

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Does anyone else think it's slightly weird that this was posted a couple of days before National Service was suggested in the Tory manifesto?

What with Morgan Spurlock being namechecked on this thread and then his death being announced, I'm starting to wonder if tattle has become some sort of harbinger.

Off to start a thread about Katie Hopkins and Nigel Farage falling into a massive pile of dogshit, BRB

 

[Samf2020]

Well if the end of the world is coming I’d like it to wait 10 days until I’ve finished my vacation. I’ve paid for it and I want to enjoy it. It’s really not convenient for me right now to have a nuclear war.

New thread on MN would I be unreasonable to ask for nuclear war to be postponed until after my holiday?

 

[orangehead]

It’s wall to wall election threads in there now. Because obviously they’re incapable of looking before starting another one.

That does piss me off about Mumsnet. Any big news event and there’s 11 million threads on it clogging up Active.

My husband (think male) sent me a link to an online news site (think bbc) about the general election (think prime minister) and I knew they’d have clogged up active as soon as I saw it so I haven’t bothered seeing if there are any interesting MIL threads (think interfering and rude).

 

[Cinnabun]

I can full believe that this is a real Mumsnetter.

 

[orangehead]

Mumsnet: no blowjobs, we’re on a diet.

 

[Girl#7]

They put a moral value on being a certain weight and they feel they "earned" it. They are angry that someone else might get that same social currency, as they see it, without doing what they did to "earn" it. Never mind that to get prescribed these medicines, you will have more than "earned" it, if misery and poor mental health surrounding food and body image is the yardstick, which of course it is. So if you are to get the social currency, they need to devalue it somehow, which they'll do by essentially claiming that you gained it immorally. You cheated. You don't really deserve it. It's tainted.

It's nothing to do with health, physical or mental; if it were, they'd be glad that there's an option to try when mere diet and exercise hasn't worked long term. They'd also understand that mental health matters too and it might be worth carrying some extra flesh if it prevents mental breakdown - fat people still deserve to be happy, ffs. It's about placing a moral value on something that doesn't have one and then trying to devalue it in others so they can still feel superior.

Same posters, oddly enough, don't think it's 'cheating' to be handed massive inheritances, using family connections to obtain jobs, or having their parents pay for their grand-loin-fruit's education.

Oh, no, that's not cheating, that earned. Earned by dint of by being thin and therefore worthy. That's ED thin, btw, if even half of what they type about their eating habits is true.

They are a bunch of corkscrew thinkers. Anything, absolutely anything goes, to justify their own entitlement to anything.

 

[Geetbo]

National Service should only be for poor fat children! Their kids have SATURDAY JOBS ffs.