Mumsnet #39 Chatbot or fatbot?

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

For the first time in absolutely ever I have just seen a useful post on Mumsnet!!

My child benefit hasn't gone in, I was all prepared to eff about trying to work out my government gateway that I haven't even looked at for 10 years but there is a trending post about loads of people not receiving it - and Martin Lewis is already involved.

Phew nearly had to do some admin today, thanks Mumsnet!

Edit - actually this is terrible. I'm thinking of it from my perspective of it being part of my monthly income but if was no longer to receive it it wouldn't make life hard, but for others this is the difference between kids eating or not. I withdraw my previous complaint about it being an inconvenient admin job for me and I hope others are not finding themselves in a really difficult situation this morning.

(Gonna leave this post though in case anyone else needs to know that it seems like it's a huge HMRC fuck up)

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

What they mean by cheating of course is that the only ‘right’ way to be thin is to have iron willpower, constant refusing ‘bad’ food, and thus exercise moral superiority over all the stupid lazy less ‘good’ people. If people cheat their way to thin but remain secretly morally lacking then that’s Just Not Fair.

 

[Girl#7]

It's fucking woeful. 21st Century and women are still valuing themselves/each other by the kg.

Imagine a life so meaningless that being thin is your priority (only?) goal, at the expense of everything else - health, humour, humanity.

 

[Geetbo]

I met some people off digital spy once. Got twatted on lime vodka, spent the night puking then had to spend hours the next day with a racist Ukipper. Great times.

 

[Geetbo]

Only 6? I could give 9 a go I think.
I am not size French.

If I’m having a bad day I order a box of 20. And a double cheeseburger. I am the greedy husband I fear

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

Oh wheres the poem ?

It's the one about not wanting their amazing unique child being forced into the army. Because everyone else's children are just boring terribly dull clones.

I read that poem and wondered if I'd got extra pissed on the all inclusive cocktails* and that's why it was so awful. But no...I think being pissed is actually making Iess painful. It makes Rik from the Young Ones and Adrian Mole's Thatcher poem looks like Rilke.

*On Rhodes at the moment. Aiming to eat so much feta that the Rhodians could use me to replace Colossus in the harbour.

 

[orangehead]

Nuclear War isn't all it's cracked up.to be

We’ve lost sight of what a real nuclear war looks like. Our nuclear war won’t be half as good as it would’ve been if it had happened in 1991 because iPhones have given everyone autism and the country is full of fat snowflakes who eat McDonald’s and watch Netflix instead of being outside and working hard. I’m sure the French will all survive though and I’ve packed a bag with three days worth of tinned vegetables and bottled water, my passport and stripey top, so I’ll go to the airport as soon as we’re hit to escape and live in Paris.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

I went to Sainsbury’s yesterday thinking maybe I should stock up, forgot, treated myself to two new books, and bought some new cat toys. There’s no helping someone like me.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

A bright spark has just come up with the idea that people who send their kids to state schools should pay a tax for it. Imagine.

 

[Serene Serena]

<shoves complete set of Jack Reacher novels under the settee>

<puts single Iris Murdoch prominently on display . . . open at random page>

When I was at uni, I was a pretentious twat and used to have a copy of Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh on my bedside table and a copy of the latest chicklit hidden under my pillow. Oh how I cringe, looking back! I also used to pretend to like Leonard Cohen to impress some bloke when really I preferred boybands.

 

[orangehead]

Oh gosh *head tilt* I feel so sorry for everyone who has to use an en-suite, or even worse, those who don’t even have them and share a bathroom with everyone *tinkly laugh*. My husband and I have had small cottages (think small four bedroom holiday cottage) built on our land, one for each of us (think two) where we can go and use the bathroom so the main house (think 12 bedrooms) remains uncontaminated.

 

[veronica71]

Mumsnet would hate me - I've kept my kid off school for the day due to sports day anxiety and instead of having a day outside doing good old fashioned exercise we went and got a McDonalds instead.

Far more fun had - something MN are always lacking

 

[ZanzibarDreaming]

Mumsnetters’ idea of sex

 

[CatCafe234]

… aaand now we have a poem.

That poem is beyond dreadful. It‘s Vogon-level terrible and to be quite frank, by the time I’d read about two-thirds of it, it had made me keen to sign up as being shot at would have been a relief. The author has single-handedly invented a new rhyme scheme - a, a, a, a, a, a, … r, r, g, g, h, h.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

Meanwhile over at batshit towers there's a light hearted thread asking what the last thing anyone bought on Amazon was. I think you know what's coming a few pages in...


View attachment 2969115

Has anyone questioned what "Amazon" is yet. 'Amazon, like the river why would you buy things from there?"

 

[Hollaaa]

Calling a jam tart a jam slag is Jack Monroe-level cringe. Conveying pick-me behaviour through the medium of food.

 

[Brandshinynew]

Oh my goodness I’m flying home on Wednesday and hadn’t even considered what makeup to wear. I’m more concerned about how I’m going to adapt from 10 days all inclusive living to Tesco essentials sausage and beans

My advice - call the embassy, they deal with these questions all the time. They even advise what clothing to wear on flights too.

 

[dressinggownofdoom]

And then everyone stood up and clapped!

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

Has the thread been pulled ( dc walking in on us?)

Yes. Supposedly ‘the thread is causing OP some issues IRL so we're taking it down’, those ‘issues’ presumably being the fact that the OP was caught out as a lying twat.

 

[50degreesnorth]

I am in my en suite right at this very moment (think mild norovirus, one end only)

Think French thoughts.