Mumsnet #39 Chatbot or fatbot?

[50degreesnorth]

Meh I’m on the fence about this one. It would’ve made my 20s easier if I’d not been part of an elite training team for shite lovers.

 

[Serene Serena]

Tattlers, I am back in the UK after my Tui all inclusive and am sobbing and shaking because something tripped the leccy and all my freezer food has gone off I’ve just tipped about £150 worth of rotten food into the compost bin and oh my goodness, the smell was like someone had died in the house while we were away.

So like a true Mumsnetter, I have nothing in the house to eat apart from a bag of lentils. Send UPF urgently! None of us can go cold turkey after consuming 200,000 calories a day for the last 10 days. We will die of malnutrition.

 

[bread-pitt]

Imagine if they ban her.

Toasters around the world will rejoice.

 

[bread-pitt]

Someone in baby names needs help (interpret that how you choose) - What is the best baby name for a baby with green eyes.

Orville.
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My husband is Jewish so that's not going to work is it. Apart from the fact it's absolutely mental.

It's not Jewish tradition to do it through a sheet, but Mumsnetters of all faiths and none fully embrace this concept. The sheet is one of those waterproof rubberised ones to absolutely minimise the chance of touching each other.

Most American boys are circumcised too at a young age - Jewish or otherwise. I’ve never had sex with a man with a foreskin. I might post on the thread and ask what a foreskin is.

 

[Geetbo]

According to Adolf BIWI’s bootcamp spreadsheet one of the people doing it weighs less than 7 stone. If she was genuinely trying to help people she would not be encouraging people like that to lose weight.

 

[Geetbo]

I cannot believe I've just googled this for you all.
Semen contains between 5 to 25 calories per "portion".

Is it more or less calories if consumed from a foreskin parcel?

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I'm lucky enough that I live within 20 miles of Hinkley power station, so if there is a nuclear war I will be obliterated pretty quickly and won't have to listen to mumsnetters moaning about it

 

[whitershadeofpale]

Over ten years ago I went to a MNet Christmas meet up. BiWi was there and as joyless as you’d expect. Also SolidGoldBrass, if anyone remembers her- she was clearly on the spectrum (although I was also very pissed and annoying).

 

[LilyPond]

If you read a lot of MN threads you'd reasonably assume that everyone on it is Size Lettuce Leaf but on Style and Beauty everyone seems to be Size Double Cod and Chips which, I suspect, is more accurate...

 

[50degreesnorth]

I’m 6’ and a flabby 7 stone. Just can’t shift this bulk.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

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Reading this exchange in disbelief.. are these people actually real the low carb lot make the style and beauty thread look half normal.

Bananas and lean chicken THE HORROR

Can't say she didn't start as she meant to go on, though.

Is she going to have these fugitives shot at dawn for desertion?

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

How do they have dinner parties? They don't eat, drink or talk to anyone.

 

[sistersofpercy]

I still maintain the best Adrian Mole poem was The Tap.

The tap drips and keeps me awake
in the morning there will be a lake
for the want of a washer the carpet will spoil
then for another my father will toil
dad could snuff it whilst he is as work
dad fit a washer, don’t be a berk.

 

[bread-pitt]

Why the sudden resurgence in doom mongering nuclear war threads?

Because mummabear123’s DH knows someone (think his sister’s postman’s father’s boss’s wife’s cousin’s ex-girlfriend) who is high up at Tesco (think organizes the secret Santa and knows the code for the safe) and she said that all major supermarkets are ordering extra hot dogs and bottles of soda pop so that can only mean a nuclear war is coming. Not a bank holiday. Not half term. Not Euro 2024. Not summer. Nuclear war.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Kinda glad it wasn’t just me then sometimes gave me vibes of being one of those ‘I’ve been to elevenerife’ people

 

[cat_follower]

I fucking loved gas and air. I huffed so much of it when the midwife used the crochet hook of horror to break my waters that I genuinely thought I’d turned into a PlayStation until it wore off and I had to resume my life as a human

 

[Brandshinynew]

Someone said they work in food supply and they’ve been told to order 4 weeks worth of food at a time instead of 2 or something and because rishi called an election as well that means there’s going to be nuclear war or something. So glad Tesco will have 4 weeks worth of coco pops when I’m hit with a nuclear bomb, that’ll really help.

On a thread yesterday someone was asking what people have ‘prepared’ in case there’s a cyber attack, civil war or nuclear war. Someone said their freezer was full and someone said they were stockpiling tinned food. So everyone just build a pyramid and beans and hide behind that when the nukes are dropped and then live off of frozen food kept lovely and fresh by the magical electricity supply.

Someone said just stay inside with the windows shut for three days until you’re rescued. Can’t wait to hide inside for theee days eating beans while I wait for rishi to turn up in a helicopter and Tom cruise me out the country.

But when the rescuers do come they won't open the door to them

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I imagine she's described the one and only time she performed oral sex.

He (obviously) did not enjoy the experience and has never requested a repeat.

Not surprised when she left him like a mermaid's purse or one of those long balloons when you haven't got enough puff to get it properly going to turn it into a dog shape.

 

[LilyPond]

The Ocado thread has been deleted … they have now started a competitive starvation thread

There's loads of people my height (5ft 7in) who are 8 stone something. I would never be able to get that low. I was over 20 stone. I'm now down to 12st 7lbs and aiming for 11ish. I'm currently a size 12 and I look fine. If I was 8st 5lbs I would look like a skeleton. I don't think I've lost sight of what a normal weight looks like but threads like this make me feel huge and as if I should try harder even though I haven't been below 11stone since I was a teenager. It's so fucked up.

 

[PrincessCharming]

Tsk. It’s ‘Syns’. By spelling it with a Y you remove all judgement and it’s just a random word that coincidentally makes it sound like eating a fricking wholemeal pitta bread you are somehow breaking a rule.
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Can you have it on Bootcamp? Carb count please.

I was a member at slimming world over 20 years ago when they changed them from sins to syns and tried to say it was short for synergy and not “don’t eat that pie you fat bastard”