Mumsnet #39 Chatbot or fatbot?

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

Can't say she didn't start as she meant to go on, though.

Is she going to have these fugitives shot at dawn for desertion?

View attachment 2959457View attachment 2959458

Read the room, BIWI - people see what an obnoxious, self-important, bullying attitude you have, and they run a mile. You’re the problem, not them

 

[bread-pitt]

I was talking to a woman at work and she told me she wouldn’t go for a shit at work. Apparently she was sometimes in agony by the time she got home because of it. She was also a teeny tiny though tbf.

Whatever not? Those are the best ones. You get paid for them.

 

[Serene Serena]

A relationship performance review. What fun.

So that's where I've been going wrong. I've been treating my marriage like a really good friendship that includes sex and babies and holidays and having fun.

I'd better schedule a performance review forthwith or I'll be divorced before Christmas.

 

[Wackie Jeaver]

ooh I lost you all! just posting this joy here, which popped up on my FB feed (why??) which I feel would go down well on S&B...

off to catch up!

 

[Iceache]

Im clearly moving in the wrong circles because neither of my kids make enough on birthdays to overpay my mortgage. ‘Can I please overpay this month by £30?’

 

[definitelynotvlad]

They’re all off the UPFs until there’s a threat of nuclear winter, then they’re buying all the fray bentos in Tesco to survive on. Based on the current contents of my kitchen, I’ll be mostly surviving on magnums if WW3 kicks off in the immediate future.

I particularly enjoyed the poster who said that her DH hasnt done any emergency drills recently, so there’s nothing to worry about. Thats the only reassurance I need!

 

[camotea]

My OH won't poo in the en suite, which confuses me. It's there to be used, right? I happily use it both ways but he takes himself away to the 'family bathroom'. It's probably because I'd keep talking to him if he was a mere three metres away. I like him and want to talk to him but he just wants to shit in peace

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

View attachment 2960725

I present to you all these wise words from the oral sex thread. What a wonderful image she has painted in my mind. A lovely wee cum parcel, presented in a foreskin. Just the right gift for the man who has it all x

My husband is Jewish so that's not going to work is it. Apart from the fact it's absolutely mental.

It's not Jewish tradition to do it through a sheet, but Mumsnetters of all faiths and none fully embrace this concept. The sheet is one of those waterproof rubberised ones to absolutely minimise the chance of touching each other.

 

[Girl#7]

JAM! Why not just give the kids crystal meth and have done with it.

New thread title?

 

[yessenia_d]

"Chocolate - aim for a minimum of 70% cocoa. You'll be surprised - if you've been avoiding sweet things for a while - at how easy it is to enjoy higher cocoa content chocolate. It's also actually good for us too. Lindt make a good 90% chocolate, but I prefer one that Sainsbury's sell, in their Taste the Difference range, which is a Ugandan one - https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui...n-90-dark-chocolate-taste-the-difference-100g

2 squares of this is very satisfying."

Now, I'm a bit of a poncey dark chocolate poseur, but this, from Biwi and her rules, has just convinced me to eat an entire bar of Caramilk.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Might be best to push it to January as thats a shit month anyway. No money after Christmas, its dark cold and miserable. Best time for nuclear war and those who survive will be ready for Summer holidays in some wasteland.
Or regular holidays for mumsnetters who shun a nice hotel for shitting in a bucket.

Im not sure how camping works, and I have no intenion of finding out.

I'm a January birthday and I hate my birthday so I'm fine with this
---
I found the MN ducks

 

[Serene Serena]

Fucksake. Can’t I just have a jaffa cake instead?

I’d prefer a Jaffa cake to a mouthful of jizz any day.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

It’s so tone deaf. Your relationship with your dead family MAY NOT BE THE SAME as someone else’s with theirs.

Most of my immediate family is dead. Some of them I don’t miss much and would be slightly horrified if they turned up at a family party (not just for the obvious zombie reasons). It’s natural to feel very miserable about missing the ones that you did love and would want to see you get married/meet your kids etc, but that doesn’t mean you can apply that positivity to all human relationships

 

[Stanni]

Chemical semen

 

[CatCafe234]

That's why eating disorders are endemic in middle class teenage girls, because of the sort of thing that you have mentioned which is coming from their mothers.

My ‘posh’ cousin got put on ‘anorexia watch’ at her boarding school and it was honestly a source of pride for her mum It also was massive social currency for my cousin at her school, there was a bit of competition to get put on anorexia watch and I really hope the school have since thought of a better way of dealing with eating issues amongst teenage girls.

 

[Eeeww David!]

I have many questions

Like “is it the same method as crimping a pie crust or more like tying a knot in a balloon?”

 

[50degreesnorth]

Have I woken up in 1999 and everyone’s spending Friday detailing exactly what they’ll imbibe to get wrecked this weekend?

If yes, put me down for a spinal and some gummies ta. Oh and a box of Marlboro lights menthols.

 

[Miss Begotten]

I cannot believe I've just googled this for you all.
Semen contains between 5 to 25 calories per "portion".

Fucksake. Can’t I just have a jaffa cake instead?

 

[cowtastrophe]

How many more threads are they going to post about it? One of the things I like about Tattle is that it’s properly moderated so you don’t have a million threads about the same thing cluttering up every board.

 

[50degreesnorth]

That shit poem has convinced me to vote Tory just so we have a few more weeks of entertainment over the summer.

I’m hoping for a Trump victory - that’ll keep them going for YEARS.