Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[ChampagneBox]

Just come back from a trip to Majorca…forget the french, do you know how glamorous the Spanish are?? Aiming for size Spanish now x

 

[orangehead]

She could just keep eating gluten then she'll damage her gut beyond repair and end up with cancer or needing surgery. That will help her lose weight! If anyone is interested you do usually gain weight as your gut heals due to lost nutrition. As coeliacs we don't absorb certain things properly.

I’m confused why it even matters if she’s gluten intolerant/has coeliac disease and how she would possibly put weight on, there’s no gluten in lettuce or celery and what else could she possibly be eating *head tilt* *tinkly laugh* *twirl to show how petite I am* *glare at any fatties*

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

‘I would rather die than gain weight’.

And there we have it.
---

It does, you're right! But she means these places: https://www.royalparks.org.uk/

It's sometimes necessary to call them the Royal Parks if you're actually referring to that specific group of them, but usually you could just call it a London park. And they're quite popular so I don't really see how saying you were in Hyde Park on Saturday would be outing unless you also have a husband who cycles. Or just lie and say you were in Richmond Park...or just say you were in a park/some gardens!

I think her post really needed the Royal park element just to make it clear what an absolute fool she is (silvery laugh).

 

[maytoseptember]

I’m confused why it even matters if she’s gluten intolerant/has coeliac disease and how she would possibly put weight on, there’s no gluten in lettuce or celery and what else could she possibly be eating *head tilt* *tinkly laugh* *twirl to show how petite I am* *glare at any fatties*

My thoughts exactly. You’d think she’d be jumping at the chance to cut out all the demon carbs.

 

[orangehead]

There’s a short diversion from being angry that anyone who is fat, old, disabled or a stay at home mum exists, while we hate women who have hair -

I've been to a few gym sessions with a friend I met fairly recently, she normally wears a t-shirt and leggings.
Yesterday we went and with it being a bit warmer recently she wore a vest and 3/4 length leggings.
I noticed that she does not shave at all; her armpits were full of thick, long hair, legs too.

I know this sounds horrible but the armpit hair made me feel a little unwell. We were supposed to go to eat just afterwards and I almost lost my appetite seeing the vest with her armpit hair out.

This makes me sound like a horrible person, I'm aware. I'd never dream of saying anything, it's nothing to do with me and she is a good person. I guess we're not used to seeing women with full body hair; we're socially conditioned to be very hair-free.

I guess I'll just have to get over it if I want to keep attending the gym with her.

 

[girlinbrum]

The teeny tinys don't need to eat now, they can sniff a stamp and feel French.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Just come back from a trip to Majorca…forget the french, do you know how glamorous the Spanish are?? Aiming for size Spanish now x

Size "Zara".

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

There’s a short diversion from being angry that anyone who is fat, old, disabled or a stay at home mum exists, while we hate women who have hair -

I've been to a few gym sessions with a friend I met fairly recently, she normally wears a t-shirt and leggings.
Yesterday we went and with it being a bit warmer recently she wore a vest and 3/4 length leggings.
I noticed that she does not shave at all; her armpits were full of thick, long hair, legs too.

I know this sounds horrible but the armpit hair made me feel a little unwell. We were supposed to go to eat just afterwards and I almost lost my appetite seeing the vest with her armpit hair out.

This makes me sound like a horrible person, I'm aware. I'd never dream of saying anything, it's nothing to do with me and she is a good person. I guess we're not used to seeing women with full body hair; we're socially conditioned to be very hair-free.

I guess I'll just have to get over it if I want to keep attending the gym with her.

When I went for a full Brazilian for the first and last time, I remember the woman looking at my head and saying, "You have very thick, curly hair." I said yes. She said, "This is going to hurt."

She was right. Didn't even get halfway through. duck that forever.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

When I went for a full Brazilian for the first and last time, I remember the woman looking at my head and saying, "You have very thick, curly hair." I said yes. She said, "This is going to hurt."

She was right. Didn't even get halfway through. duck that forever.

Ironically, by the time it starts thinning out and being theoretically less like to leave you feeling like a freshly plucked chicken out of the boiling water bath, hormonal changes mean that a) the skin is more delicate and b) you're significantly less likely to want to bother with anything that benefits from less foliage anymore.

Bastarding peri.

 

[Brandshinynew]

There's a thread about cheeky fuckers and
someone knows someone who has asked a family member for a lift from New York to vancouver, she stated the wrong distance, corrected herself in another post she has been corrected about a million times how many miles it is but the dickheads keep commenting and helpfully stating it over and over again.
They are so irritating, so bleeping irritating.

 

[50degreesnorth]

A “lift” from nyc to Vancouver? Erm… that’s quite a CF n’est-ce pas? Not like asking your auntie to drop you off in Hove from Brighton.
---
Famously India is struggling with a tiny population - think Iceland.

 

[CatCafe234]

There's a thread about cheeky fuckers and
someone knows someone who has asked a family member for a lift from New York to vancouver, she stated the wrong distance, corrected herself in another post she has been corrected about a million times how many miles it is but the dickheads keep commenting and helpfully stating it over and over again.
They are so irritating, so bleeping irritating.

The deliberate misunderstanding of things to show off knowledge is really, really annoying. There‘s a current thread about a neighbour who is disposing of human waste in their garden and the OP mentioned a ‘colonoscopy‘ bag, and rather than suggest anything useful the first dozen or so posts were people tripping over themselves to correct the OP and show off their GCSE Biology-level knowledge. It’s just pointless one-upmanship and it’s deeply irritating.

 

[SarcasmSpecialist]

Okay, which one of you is this?

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Okay, which one of you is this?

I'm starting to think MN is one third genuine users, one third angry, impotent MRAs and one third piss taking Tattlers.

 

[PrincessCharming]

I'm starting to think MN is one third genuine users, one third angry, impotent MRAs and one third piss taking Tattlers.

I’d say one twelfth of each of these and 75% MNHQ

 

[Backendofabus]

Part of the mumsnet uniform?

 

[mindlessness]

Why does it matter that you take them to a Royal Park? Can’t you just say a park

I think this mumsnetter just wants to make sure everyone knows her dcs were never taken to any old London park or Common (heaven forbid her sweet Tarquin and Araminta play with the plebs in Tooting Common or Victoria Park).

 

[ChastityDingle]

There's a thread about cheeky fuckers and
someone knows someone who has asked a family member for a lift from New York to vancouver, she stated the wrong distance, corrected herself in another post she has been corrected about a million times how many miles it is but the dickheads keep commenting and helpfully stating it over and over again.
They are so irritating, so bleeping irritating.

Some posters live for that kind of thing. That and the great vagina versus vulva pile-on.

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

Mumsnetters in a nutshell

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

There’s a short diversion from being angry that anyone who is fat, old, disabled or a stay at home mum exists, while we hate women who have hair -

I've been to a few gym sessions with a friend I met fairly recently, she normally wears a t-shirt and leggings.
Yesterday we went and with it being a bit warmer recently she wore a vest and 3/4 length leggings.
I noticed that she does not shave at all; her armpits were full of thick, long hair, legs too.

I know this sounds horrible but the armpit hair made me feel a little unwell. We were supposed to go to eat just afterwards and I almost lost my appetite seeing the vest with her armpit hair out.

This makes me sound like a horrible person, I'm aware. I'd never dream of saying anything, it's nothing to do with me and she is a good person. I guess we're not used to seeing women with full body hair; we're socially conditioned to be very hair-free.

I guess I'll just have to get over it if I want to keep attending the gym with her.

Gawd!

I have hair almost everywhere from eyebrows like Dennis Healey to feet like a hobbit and all points in between.

The bonus is that if I put people off their dinner I can ask "Do you not want that?" and shovel it onto my own plate.

Every cloud etc.