Mumsnet #36 My mum died when a fat midwife fell on her so we moved to France

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Technobiff

If I was flying a kite on a beach today, I would take off and be in France just in time to eat some french delicacies.
As it is, I don't live anywhere near a beach, nor does the ' usband own a kite, so I'll have to get stuck into a box of french fancies instead.
 
Reactions: 10

SarcasmSpecialist

My ex husband had very outing hobbies: think gliding and sailing. Sailing was fine, I loved it, but gliding, the best bit was driving the tow car. And he built kit cars. Thank goodness he eventually got bored with me and traded me in for a younger model. She got the house renovation years.
 
Reactions: 23

Serene Serena

Husband goes kite surfing, I prefer the more genteel paddle-boarding, but only in the summer on a hot sunny day, in a bikini, not a wet suit. Kite surfing is too strenuous for a delicate little flower like me (and I'm too scared of being blown out to sea and ending up having to be rescued by the coastguards). There was a woman here who got blown out to sea whilst asleep on an inflatable unicorn a few years ago. She had to be rescued, and not only did she have the humiliation of her picture being on the front page of the local paper, she had to pay for the lifeboat. Lads, I'm not being mean, but I don't think she was a mumsnetter. She wasn't size French and she was very drunk. I tinkly laughed my socks off at seeing her being towed back to shore.
 
Reactions: 19

EffingDust

Omg poor lady…something like this is my nightmare but I’d have laughed my arse off too if I saw it unfolding
 
Reactions: 13

Blond3g1rl

Foxasaurus said:
I have never ever seen half marathon abbreviated like that before. And I’ve run and supported more half marathons than I can count.
Click to expand...
I had no idea what it meant but that’s cos I’m not size French and don’t run
 
Reactions: 11

Kikini Bamalam

There's a thread on AIBU called to wish I had never had children and it actually makes me feel really sad for the OP. She is obviously quite ground down and she just wishes that she hadn't had them, to spare them from how awful she feels life is. I really hope she feels better soon and I hope she can find some joy in life, because it just seems so bleak.

However, don't despair my fellow ugly, povvo lardbuckets, this poster thinks that some of us deserve to feel happy too I guess it does depend on how hideous, fat and poor you are though. Still, it's a positive I guess?

 
Reactions: 16

Serene Serena

Aw bless her, you just know she's skint, in a shitty job, and looks like the back end of a hippo just after it has had a shit.
 
Reactions: 21

CrimsonCountess

Some suggestions on a thread asking what to wear for relaxed dinner and drinks on a first date






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It got a bit bitchy as usual, and then a man felt the need to come along and tell op to wear close fitting clothes, then gave his weird anecdote about leather causing havoc

 
Reactions: 22

Doll Parts

Technobiff said:
Oh no, The Man has spoken.
That'll get em frothing, and not at the gusset.
Click to expand...
That's just reminded me there was a window of time where they were all bragging about saying "Thank you random man" to any many who dared to say anything to them. About as withering as "Did you mean to be so rude?"
 
Reactions: 13

ShopTilYouSlop

Oh God he's an overweight and jowly middle manager called Gavin who thinks a couple of pissed theme nights at uni 30 odd years ago make him cool and wild forever. Can't you just tell? Ooh, I hinted that I once had a partner who wore leather, aren't I so risqué? Fuck off back to Gardeners World, Gavin.
 
Reactions: 31

Kikini Bamalam

Now now, Gavin likes to hang around the women's health board so he can give those ladies opinions on pictures of their vertical bacon sandwich, that they like to post up to see if it is normal. He's doing a public service!
 
Reactions: 22

FeloniousMonk

I may or may not have posted this in a few threads on MN over the years.
Only at men who declare "Man here" and then go on to make it clear that their post is the ultimate authority on this topic, whatever it may be, due to him having a trouser snake.
 

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Reactions: 26

ShopTilYouSlop

I've seen you! My heroine!
 
Reactions: 10

Kikini Bamalam

Did the person asking for suggestions say that they had ugly knees or the calves of an olympic shotputter? I'm just slightly baffled by the long shapeless sacks suggested otherwise
 
Reactions: 16
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