Mumsnet #28 Six figure job but dress sense heinous, here's a picture of my anus.

[girlinbrum]

I think she should have an affair with Anya and kick out the husband, and some ducks lined up who can sing the Russian national anthem.

 

[MediumLoad]

A nursery has given a mumsnetter’s baby a rusk and “alarm bells rang” when she heard


Fucking hell, it’s not like they’ve given it a bottle of glowberry prime and a bag of haribo.

I'd report her to social services.

Imagine being that much of a shit mother that you send your child to a nursery that has a rusk on the premises, let alone actually hand them out?

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Tacky and TASTELESS?! Fuck off and have a Mac n cheese bite Brenda.

 

[holasun]

"horse riding"? whatever do you mean? we actual poshos just call it riding... if you need to clarify with the word "horse" then you are common and poor and deserve to DIE. <tinkly laugh and head tilt>

I dunno mate, I ride a fucking Unicorn I'm that posh (insert tinkly laugh)

 

[Yesweknowyouhavekids]

Why would you tell the world this?????

 

[Tretps29]

I just have a massive salad for Christmas Day. I can only manage half of it and save the rest for Boxing Day.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Lads we are seriously slipping, this was posted at 4.30pm yesterday and no one clocked it I shall be trying this with my 2 DILs this Christmas and will report back shaking and crying on Christmas day about how they told me to get fucked

 

[Codiaeum]

That thread about wealthy people's looks is the gift that keeps on giving.

Is now a good time to mention to them that the Habsburg family tree was more like a door wreath? They were certainly wealthy

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I bought my mum some slippers (at her request) and I’ve bloody lost them
I wonder if one of that lot will send me a replacement pair…

Oh look at you buying slippers for your mum's feet! My mum doesn't have any feet or arms, she does have hands though, so I suppose that is something. But anyway, how very dare you complain about losing slippers when my poor poor mum has no feet. I'm going to write to my MP about you

 

[Boring Monday]

Sounds like my idea of hell.
What's Christmas day if you're not half pissed by the time the turkey comes out of the oven?

I once burnt my wrist quite badly removing the Turkey … but knew nothing about it until Boxing Day. I call it my Kahlua scar.

 

[soph30]

Definitely a Mumsnetter

 

[Serene Serena]

1/2 of mumsnet posts are " look at me/ I'm better than you/ got more money than you " type passive-aggresive posts from people who have fuck-all & are in debt up to their knockers

I'm quite enjoying the thread in relationships where the woman (who previously bragged about buying a very expensive gold dress on S&B for a very upmarket Christmas do that us ordinary mortals wouldn't be allowed to attend) admits her husband drives her insane and that basically she married him for money so she could be a stay at home mum as well as a much younger trophy wife - only now he's retired, he's a boring old fart and expects her to run around after him like a good little wifey. Hahahahahahaha tough titty love.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

‘The local goose farmer’ ahahahahah

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Mumsnet: I’m a big strong free independent woman, let’s go sisters!

Also Mumsnet: why’s my DH not home yet?!

 

[SarcasmSpecialist]

My entire career was based on being absolutely accurate with grammar and spelling, but it would never occur to me to take someone to task over such a simple thing. People are just nasty for the sake of it over there.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Shithole house poster is now back asking for ideas of how to decorate a room. Rather than focusing on actually tidying shithole house

Stick bows on all the pieces of clutter.

 

[Serene Serena]

Honestly his sperm sounds like it flying around everywhere, she can't get away from it, she's drawing in it.

I was just about to have a chicken cuppa soup and suddenly I've lost my appetite.

I also have an aversion to avocados after someone on Mumsnet said they taste like clean penis.

 

[Sglodion]

Has anyone seen the absolute fuckwit asking if she’s guilty of cultural appropriation because she wished her Muslim doctor a lovely Christmas?

My next door neighbours are Muslim and they fucking love Christmas. They have a tree, sparkly lights outside their house and always come around to ours for mince pies and mulled wine ( they usually have a couple of glasses before they “remember it’s alcoholic! )

I wasn't sure if Christmas would really be a thing in Vietnam, but all month there's been lights, Santas and massive instagrammable trees everywhere, carols, fake snow, 'seasonal' winter drinks even though it's 35 degrees out, the works. I said to my friend that I hadn't realised it was such a big festival here and she said "oh it's not, we just take any excuse for a party". MN could never!

 

[WinterSolstice]

On style and beauty there's another ????Why are the Europeans Just So Perfect and Beautiful and Slim and Stylish and Why are The Brits So Not??? thread if you fancy a bit of self- hatred and weekend amateur psychological and anthropological waffling

Also, good tidings I bring to you and your kin:
View attachment 2646654
Merry Christmas to all you ladies too x

Oh god I hope they don’t think it’s a conversation

Guys, we’re talking ABOUT you, not TO you

 

[Serene Serena]

I just have a massive salad for Christmas Day. I can only manage half of it and save the rest for Boxing Day.

You utter glutton. My massive salad lasts me and my entire extended family until New Year's Day at the earliest.