Mumsnet #28 Six figure job but dress sense heinous, here's a picture of my anus.

[Serene Serena]

I'm a millennial who doesn't like avocado. I blow people's MINDS.

I used to like avocado until someone told me it tastes like penis.

 

[LilyPond]

The state of the replies on thread about an awful Fatty McFat relative breaking someone's sofa, talk about leaving the gate open at the cunt farm.

There was a rash of these trolly posts a while ago:
Fatty broke my garden furniture
Fatty broke my shower
Fatty broke the suspension on my car etc.

They often state that they are overweight to try and make the bigotry okay. The perfect teeny tinies of MN love it of course.

I've lost 7 stone in the last couple of years but it still really upsets me how much fat people are judged and hated.

 

[50degreesnorth]

Thank you lovely people!!!
It wasn’t me this time, but a close family member, who has an aggressive cancer. We’ve had a shit couple of years, but we can chill over Christmas

well obviously you’re alright Jack - but what about Christmas in Gaza? do they know it’s Christmas time at all?

 

[Serene Serena]

@Serene Serena But was the free goat thrown in with the house? This is an important fixture so that everyone knows you're council scum, bought or not.
I was dragged, er, brought up in a council house with a collier father and a shop assistant mum. I'm not ashamed of either that or my parents.
My old man on the other hand, was I suppose what you could call upper middle class, brought up in an owned property with a father who was some sort of bigwig with an oil company and a housewife mum who shopped exclusively at John Lewis and Marks & Sparks.
I've no time for this class shite, you're either a decent person or you're not.
At least we don't turn into gibbering wrecks every time someone knocks on the door, instead we invite them in and shove a brew and some cake in front of them.

You're either a decent person or you're not - very wise words.
I answer the door to everyone, I even let tradespeople use my toilet.
I love the camaraderie of where I live - there's never a problem with emergency childcare/lift to the shops/dog sitting/lawn mowing. I know if my son's nursery had to close unexpectedly, there are at least 4 people who would go and get him and care for him until one of us has finished work. My next door neighbour's mam was taken ill, we took in her dog (much to our own dog's dismay) until she was well again. Little things like that make a good community. Maybe Mumsnetters are the same, but then again, they shit themselves when asked to take in a parcel for the neighbours

 

[RebelRebel]

Please tell me someone else has seen this as well as giving them 500k towards the purchase of their 2mil house, they have also offered 6k to cover the costs of them staying for a week. And she's whinging about how much water they use

 

[Technobiff]

I bloody love old fashioned party food.
A few vol-au-vents, couple of bits of pork pie, few little sausage rolls, some cheese and pickled onions on cocktail sticks and a couple of meat sarnies, washed down with a couple of pints does me just grand.
I'll even try a dish or two of trifle.

 

[maytoseptember]

Someone has resurrected the “Observations from Paris” thread in S&B for winter fashion. These threads are so funny. I rarely see so much self-hate when it comes to Britishness.

Lessons to be learned from Parisian women:

As ever, no tattoos
Ditto no obvious filler/Botox
Natural make up
No massive eyelashes
THIN

Firstly - there was usually only one casual item in an outfit. If the coat was padded it was combined with boots and tailored trousers. If there were jeans then the coat was tailored wool.
Outfits were co-coordinated with no more than three colours. The wool coat was set off with contrasting but matching beanie and scarf sets. Cream with black, black with red, rust with brown etc. Those oversized mohair scarfs with fringes were popular but usually plain not checked.
Women were thin. Their coats hung well.
The coats were immaculate. Not crumpled. Not bobbley.

It’s like scruffy, poor, fat, provincial French women simply don’t exist.

 

[Salmonshirt]

On the ‘moronic things your teenager has done’ thread. I refuse to believe this is true.

 

[Millie2023]

Someone has posted that her partner has slapped her 5 year old round the face and should she leave him

Some of the responses are actually trying to justify it and minimise it. Apparently because he’s only slapped him once in 5 years it’s okay, and the 5 year old probably did something to deserve it and provoked him

I’d twat the partner around the face and see how he liked it. There’s no justification whatsoever for slapping a child.

 

[Flossiebo]

Nothing to do with MN, but why am I getting ads for fork lift trucks on this thread?

I'm sure MNs first question would be what is my weight

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

I mean, put baby in Moses basket in doorway. It’s not bloody difficult. How does she cook? Pee?
Strap child to chest with bungee cord and shower together maybe

I get what you’re saying but I think she was just trying to stress that she’d not had a minute to herself all day to do anything (yeah sure it’s fine to have quick slosh with the Babedas while you yell out TheAnts Go Marching but it’s obviously much nicer to have a proper solo shower) But of course all the bitter old harridans have leapt on labelling her as a scummy mummy with anxiety to boot while her DH gets to sup pints for hours down the local boozer.

 

[Serene Serena]

You can absolutely guarantee that 90% of the bitches over there aren’t as bold in reality, nor do they live the life they profess to live. All those earning ‘six figure salaries’ most likely aren’t or how do they have the time to be on MN all the time?

It's all bullshit and wishful thinking.

"I am middle class!! My children are called Henrietta and Thor. I live in a listed manor house in the Cotswolds. We spend the run up to Christmas going on bracing walks, choral singing, horse riding and beagling!!'

Of course you do, love, of course you do.

 

[50degreesnorth]

Clearly doesn’t live in Scotland!

I’m in Scotland and go heavy on sheepskin slippers and fair isle jumpers. Were I to waft around in your nylon neglige my friends would have me sectioned.

 

[GirlWithThePearlEarhole]

Their obsession with smells is just ridiculous. Is it supposed to be a middle class thing or something?

It‘s the olfactory equivalent of the Princess and the Pea. Just as she was so refined she could feel a tiny pea through however many mattresses so their noses are so delicate and special they can smell a poor person several streets away. Must be so stressful for them.

 

[soph30]

This sodding milk thread in trending The OP's kids have alternative milk at home and she finds it creepy the grandma gives them cow's milk and calls it 'Granny's milk'

 

[Galinda]

The saddest thing was during/after covid when they were posting that they just wanted their husbands to fuck off back to the office and leave them alone with their kids. ‘Just keep paying the bills, Steve, so I can stay at home but I don’t want you getting in the way’.

Reminds me of an AMA a Jewish (I think it was?) lady did where she and everyone else thought it was wonderful she had to stay away from her husband for around 10 days to two weeks every month due to her period or some other misogynist nonsense. They all thought it was absolutely wonderful she could get away from her spouse that long and the woman talked about how it builds desire which they all lapped up and thought was fabulous too. Was sat there thinking am I on another fucking planet here?! I actually quite like my husband and don't need half the month apart from him to feel desire or even tolerate him! Like we aren't at it like rabbits but I'm not avoiding him for two weeks either. It was really odd

 

[Shimmering]

Has anyone read the DH at a woman's house after Xmas night out thread?

Pack of busybodies. Can't a person get black out drunk once in a while without an irritating ex-colleague and a mumsnettter invading their house and posting all about it online?

I rarely drink these days (I sniff a wine cork once a decade and that does me) but when I did go on a bender I really didn't appreciate concerned sober / less drunk people getting in my business. Let me be stupidly drunk in peace!

 

[ChiaraRimini]

I can't get to grips with Mumsnet - it seems to be a female version of what Reddit was to male Incels with a lot of endless man bashing which gets to be quite boring after a while. All those simplistic responses of DIVORCE THE BASTARD! BLOCK HIM! Didn't realise so many mums hated their husbands! Seems to be a magnet for man haters. If the founders were hoping for a family friendly forum, they've ended up with something quite nasty and festering. It's also known for rampant transphobia. I can't say that I meet that many trans people in my daily life and I'm in London, but Mumsnet has it ramped up to be a major threat to civilisation.

People don’t post for advice if their relationships are fine though.
There are a lot of posters who describe being really badly treated by their husbands/partners.
MN did help me realise that my ex was a manipulative liar when he had me thinking that everything was all my fault.
I agree it’s not as easy as “LTB”. It took me years of trying to fix the relationship then more years actually getting out.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

The McDonald's in the cinema thread has gone completely loco. Someone's claiming her allergy to cheese is so severe that she'll be ill if someone eats nachos while sitting in the cinema with her. Loads of others claiming that anyone who eats in the cinema doesn't just eat, but does so in the most disgusting, unrestrained manner possible...lots of crunching, chomping, slurping and burping. I thought they all lived in such refined middle class places....

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Good god that’s so vulgar, just reeks of new money. I myself am quietly wealthy so I ride a 37 year old Welsh cob that has no teeth and is half blind, just to avoid drawing attention to my vast inherited lands and riches.

That's the trouble with so much obesity amongst the short of leg (due to childhood malnutrition on UPFs, obviously) women of the lower middle classes these days, having no choice but to amble along on a barrel with attitude. We have a Lippizaner from my Dressage days, a Jaca Navarra for the youngest that I picked up from my friend Z at Badminton, my Akhal Teke for Sundays and, of course, three Shires, a Suffolk Punch and two Ardennes for DH and the Boys as they're obviously way too tall and muscular to ride anything else after they've underpinned the County XV in the morning.