Mumsnet #28 Six figure job but dress sense heinous, here's a picture of my anus.

[Thank(space)you]

What in the name of fiction is this loon on about?

This was doing the rounds on fb a while ago. People saying it isn't theft as you've not actually left the store without paying for the item. Because profit margins, yield loss etc don't matter

 

[Melian]

Absolute witch

I've tried to cough quieter and make more noise trying to stifle it!

 

[Lovespizza]

Merry Christmas to anyone celebrating today and a huge hug to anyone who needs one. My first MN Xmas and it’s not disappointing so far one gift i’m about to open is titled ‘help me overcome my fear of food’ i mean, i’m not an ED specialist but am thinking that’s really NOT the place to be looking for help with food unless it’s about massive salads or a large pizza feeding a family of 5 for a fortnight!

 

[FeloniousMonk]

Merry Christmas, you bitter, mean old gossips who are just jealous of MN. Let's all make a resolution to become more MN next year, starting with a massive salad, a 6 figure earning DH who we secretly loathe, hollow-legged sons, willowy daughters of whom we are not in the slightest bit jealous, and a subscription to Toast.

 

[HotDawg]

I’m still waiting for a Mr Frosty.

Same. I’m still not over it.

 

[bottlewrapper]

A new neighbour has recently moved into the flat below me. He's about 35. I've noticed that he literally coughs every few mins and unfortunately I can hear it. I was hoping it would be a cold or flu thing he has and that it would eventually stop but it's been like this for a couple weeks.
I will be reading quietly in my bedroom and all of a sudden get startled by his coughing. I'm finding it really triggering and it's irritating me .
It's a really awkward one as coughing is involuntary but that doesn't make it any less annoying for me.
I can't move as I have another year left on my lease. I've bought noise cancelling ear plugs from Amazon.
Would it be really bad if next time I get talking to him ,I asked if he is ok, as I notice he has been coughing quite a lot? Hoping that this will maybe make him try and be a bit quieter or something.
Or do I just learn to live with this.

Please someone, post to suggest that maybe he's coughing every time she farts because he's embarrassed to think she doesn't know it's that loud. So maybe he's actually being really considerate and she's the problem? It's easy not to notice your bodily noises if you live on your own [tinkly laugh]

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

My little boy, when he was 11 months old, found his slide hidden in the front room, and was merrily playing on it before I found him. Fortunately because he was a baby, he was excited all over again on Christmas Day.

You left a child unsupervised in another room ?! Mine is 8 has never even been to the toilet without me, you just never know what can happen when you take your eyes off them. We tried to give him some safe independence recently and let him go out into the garden, tethered to the patio doors on a long lead while I stared at him from the living room window, but a neighbour startled him by saying hello over the fence and he’s been set back months because of it.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

You left a child unsupervised in another room ?! Mine is 8 has never even been to the toilet without me, you just never know what can happen when you take your eyes off them. We tried to give him some safe independence recently and let him go out into the garden, tethered to the patio doors on a long lead while I stared at him from the living room window, but a neighbour startled him by saying hello over the fence and he’s been set back months because of it.

My blood ran cold and I let out an audible gasp at that, OP. There could have been a puddle out there and I knew somebody's cousin's aunt's cat's grandmother's best friend's hairdresser's kid that did that and they were dead before she could get the bifolds open through the voiles and run the 3 foot to the slightly damp patch of grass.

 

[HotDawg]

My blood ran cold and I let out an audible gasp at that, OP. There could have been a puddle out there and I knew somebody's cousin's aunt's cat's grandmother's best friend's hairdresser's kid that did that and they were dead before she could get the bifolds open through the voiles and run the 3 foot to the slightly damp patch of grass.

I know that same person and they ended up being reported to the police, social services, their GP, OFSTED, the CQC, the home office, the DVLA, the DWP and the HMRC. It’s not worth the risk.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

I know that same person and they ended up being reported to the police, social services, their GP, OFSTED, the CQC, the home office, the DVLA, the DWP and the HMRC. It’s not worth the risk.

What did they tell the coroner?

 

[50degreesnorth]

What time will I see you all in hell?

 

[Thank(space)you]

What time will I see you all in hell? View attachment 2650230View attachment 2650231

What did the family do?

 

[Boring Monday]

I thought Turkey of Tears was a Christmas tradition

 

[50degreesnorth]

Her family didn’t buy him a present.

Him crying with a turkey baster in his hands is like something out of a Criminal Minds episode.

 

[Copacapybara]

Merry Christmas, you bitter, mean old gossips who are just jealous of MN. Let's all make a resolution to become more MN next year, starting with a massive salad, a 6 figure earning DH who we secretly loathe, hollow-legged sons, willowy daughters of whom we are not in the slightest bit jealous, and a subscription to Toast.

For a brief confused moment I thought the upper-middle classes were getting actual toast shipped in Jiffy bags to fit in with their ‘busy lifestyles’, a bit like those cereal cafes with markups similar to that of post-revolution Leningrad.
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Merry Christmas, you bitter, mean old gossips who are just jealous of MN. Let's all make a resolution to become more MN next year, starting with a massive salad, a 6 figure earning DH who we secretly loathe, hollow-legged sons, willowy daughters of whom we are not in the slightest bit jealous, and a subscription to Toast.

Christ I think I work with her! Or there's two of them.
For clarity mine spends all her working day chasing after any male in a senior position that breathes. Has two "work boyfriends" who she plays off against each other and was found at the Christmas Do snogging one of them in the secret corridor (next to the loos).
People don't not like her because she's pretty. They don't like her because she's cheating on her husband and tit at her job.

I'm more shocked she's a Mumsnetter tbh.

I’m not entirely sure why but I’m picturing her a bit like this:

 

[VC10]

What time will I see you all in hell? View attachment 2650230View attachment 2650231

The big girls blouse!

 

[Technobiff]

Maybe that could be the next thread title.
Crying over the turkey with a baster and other Christmas disasters.
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Maybe that could be the next thread title.
Crying over the turkey with a baster and other Christmas disasters.

 

[Tretps29]

bleeping whimp
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The husband is an absolute sap
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She’s an absolute drama queen. All this because some 80 year old grand parent didn’t get her 40 something year old a Xmas present

 

[50degreesnorth]

Is anyone able to clarify whether the turkey is basted through tears or with tears? Is there martyr of a difference?

 

[Brandshinynew]

What a dark cloud MN has cast over Xmas.
They are desperate to outdo each other with tales of crisis and petty tit.
They've ramped it up a gear this year.
And what an absolute fanny that man is crying with his turkey baster.