The ABC has made me laugh, you nusty, funny trolls!
Inspired by you hens, I've had a crack at the whole darn alphabet:
A is for awfor and Audi (which they didn't buy).
B is for brick schlipss, boot room and bumbuminnit.
C is for claw... irritating, grabby claw... and "cracking up."
D is for Desenio prints and decorative books (no family photos or favourite bedtime tales in this house please!)
E is for Ella's Kitchen (who did not sponsor Soph) and [overpriced] egg chair.
F is for Fredayahoo and Fairy, who she kindly forced to use recyclable packaging FOR US! Thanks Soph!
G is for garage, where Inch goes for fun... and Gretel (AKA, her resting bitch face).
H is for hot drinks, which Sofa hates/doesn't hate.
I is for Inch 🤏
and invisible speech needs (which is code for "using my son").
J is for journalists (who follow her around, apparently).
K is for Keith, who I would absolutely love to chop in half.
L is for lardsomes and landing, which Sophie called her "waiting area."
M is for "Mum says...," mugshots and [£1k dog] mattress.
N is for NEVER walking the dog and NEVER moving house
O is for "my OWN range!"
P is for pissy sticks, panelling and pergola.
Q is for Q&As, where you ask the questions and answer them yourself!
R is for [tend] rhyming, resin (or "rezinnn") driveway and Ribena.
S is for spider slaps (to the face).
T is for thieving - thieving blankets from airlines... and poor, poor Tulisa.
U is for undeclared ads.
V is for veg patch, where 'tend tomatoes grow!
W is for wanking taps, woolly wankers and THE WORM!
🪱
X is for x-tensions ("rooty," grubby extensions).
Y is for yarn - butter yarn to be precise.
Z is for [Z List] celebrity couple, who were having a baby.