Mrs Hinch #574 We might be Nusty Trolls and Arsenal holes but at least us fat hens don't have to sell our souls

[docmum]

I’m sorry for losing it but I’m having to sell any jewellery etc I don’t use, and next will be selling the house - currently mortgage fixed but once it ends that’ll likely be the end of that. I have worked in the public sector for 15 years including last almost-3 years on the front line. Pre-vaccine I didn’t go home to my little one as if I passed on Covid to him I’d risk the ex-mother in laws health and she was a childcare support. Then when I had chemo mid-Covid, my partner (now ex - I pick men really well ) didn’t come home to me for the same reason as he also worked on the front line. I’ve lost every fucking thing that I’ve worked day and night for, and this smug lying bitch has the media portraying her as a saint, whilst the same media portrays all frontline workers as scumbags. Stop this world because I want to get off. Sorry for the heavy post but I am so done with it all, probably the heat but it’s pushed me to tears tonight.

 

[Pumpkins1506]

Mrs Hinch #574 We might be Nusty Trolls and Arsenal holes but at least us fat hens don't have to sell our souls

Last thread was a goldmine for hilarious titles, but someone had to win it. Well done to @Parry1988 for the top suggestion.

Thankfully we've filled the thread at a more respectable hour this time, so what has happened since?

Fredayahoo took to Instagram to defend her ickle Soph. In doing so, she let slip that the house "is very much lived in I'm fank you". She also seems to think it's akin to The Winter Palace (in St Petersburg you uncultured trolls) as it's been an adventure for the boys to explore the rooms.

There was more """styling"""" (so many quotation marks because what she's doing is so far removed from the actual definition of the word) of a bedside cabinet. The only person sleeping in that guest room is Stretch Armstrong with that distance from the bed.
Then again, she thought that being on the end of the bridesmaid row was by SSS side so I can forgive her a little for thinking that a bedside cabinet goes as far away from the bed as possible.

She fed the alpacas...basic animal care there, nowt to be proud of.

More """styling""" in the utility, aka putting tat up on hooks to collect dust.

Nana Rose (named at birth, did not add it in her teens like some ) popped round to marvel at how that house was now in the family and to have the alpacas forced on her after Soph threw a load of carrots down at her feet.

Then it was time to sit and recite colours with Ron in the chicken run. Don't forget...Sunday is Hen Day. Monday is clean up the mess the fox made day.
And with that it was off to bed with some child endangerment in the form of a cot set far too high for a toddler.

Saturday was Mop Day, filling the bucket from the hob tap and not the utility tap. Poor Soph has all these taps and sinks but can't work out what each one is for. #brag
On cue, despite not reading Tattle since the first giant redwoods were seedlings, there was a hen house reveal. Unfortunately it's a case of all the gear and no idea, as there was far too much stimulation for rescue hens and far too little in the way of fox proofing. Despite her claims of having fox proofed twice over, there were obvious flaws in the fencing and hedges that are the perfect hen viewing platform height for Mr Todd. Not to mention the excessive food which will only encourage Sammy Whiskers into the coop with his extended family.
(I know you love a bit of Beatrix Potter, Soph, so I've put it in a way you can understand)

Oh and according to one of the sheep, we're all arsenal holes

Sophie Rose (added it in her teens) can't help but brag and neck McFlurrys
Jimbob is desperate to be noticed by Arsenal (the football team not nusty hens. Though probably also us nusty hens tbh)
Fredayahoo is can't decide if she punctuates with a space either side of a comma or not.
Al, hope you're well and safe.

Report her to the ASA for not declaring ads: https://www.asa.org.uk/make-a-complaint.html

Read the wonderful thread 500:

Mrs Hinch #500 Sophie Hinchliffe: This is Me; Life in Lists (of Lies) - The Tattle Truths

Mrs Hinch #500 Sophie Hinchliffe: This is Me; Life in Lists (of Lies) - The Tattle Truths Mrs Hinch - or Sophie Hinchliffe - is without doubt the most talked about person here on Tattle Life. She has twice as many threads as the next highest person. Contrary to what she, or other...

tattle.life

Last word missed off the title

 

[lilyflower96]

 

[DoctorFlocci]

Veterinary surgeon reporting for duty.

For the avoidance of doubt Mrs H (should you care to read & learn here): chickens - like all avian (bird!) species - have air sacs. Pretty much everywhere in their tiny, delicate bodies.

That’s how they respire, ie exchange CO2 for O2, in conjunction with their lungs

Think bagpipes.

Think the most incredible evolutionary adaptation to flight (even though chooks don’t fly per se they’re still part of the avian spp): high metabolic demands + lowest weight possible. (See also: semi-hollow bones).

So please don’t hold a hen like that: smothered by handling / clutched far too tightly & thus unable to breathe without extra effort (v stressful for any chook, let alone an ex-bat).

Hold a hen like this (pic 3 courtesy of Victoria Roberts MRCVS - poultry vet extraordinaire!). Chook facing away from you, using minimal pressure on the body - & air sacs - but your arm providing support under her and restraining her legs (between fingers) as/if necessary:-

 

[Wize Owl]

What Jimbobteenypeeny really thinks of the bedroom “Styling” (Volume needed)

 

[anniemouse]

Early Thread Suggestion

As the hens come home to roost, she’s hoping for an engagement boost.

 

[Andioooop]

Imagine still having the time to photoshop, those wobbly gates

 

[Justanorthernlass]

When the chickens have a better outdoor playarea then the kids fml

 

[Longtimelurker xoxox]

Imagine if the Maldon stoner has spotted them at the McDonald's with with hens in the back

Ffs am I now classed as the maldon stoner

 

[Pumpkins1506]

Quick critique of this, aside from the fox problems...

1. The drinker (red and white, on the floor) is going to get shit in and full of hay and woodchip within minutes. Hang it for god's sake Soph

2. I've mentioned the dust bath. @Justapeep raises the good point that a dust bath isn't literally dust. They'll make their own in the soil if they're not on hardstanding. That looks like the diatomaceous earth she uses for the WWs which can cause respiratory problems as it's so fine. Should be used in the housing to prevent mites.

3. I've no idea what that weird wicker nest like thing is, will just get shit on.

4. If she's planning on keeping all that stuff behind the housing stored inside the pen then it needs to be lidded securely, and the bedding needs to be put into a waterproof container. Or she could just store it somewhere sensible.

5. I hope she's got a tarp or other similar covering handy for the 7/8 months of the year they'll be confined to the coop when bird flu is rife and they're required to be under shelter if they can't be indoors.

 

[RubyTuesday39]

Is she expecting to do a duet with the hens, them on the xylophone and Soph on her recorder

 

[Pollyanna263]

I absolutely love all of your ‘Soph hasn’t read tattle since…’ @Pumpkins1506

I keep meaning to say this!

 

[flixy83]

This comment on her article in the Daily Fail

 

[HinchesSousChef]

I’m predicting trollomon leaps online tomorrow out of her wedding bubble to share photos of her kids at the wedding to absolutely trump the shit out of some chickens.

 

[LittleMissOnions]

These are my BHWT hens a couple of days after coming home, they came from the same set up as Hinch’s now look at hers and tell me she didn’t get the pick of the bunch….
I’m so cross over this and for people who say well at least they were saved from slaughter, while BHWT do a brilliant job (or at least I thought they did) how many people are going to be misled into taking on what isn’t an easy task and chickens be the next fad.

ps the nearest girl was quickly christened Sid cos she was so vicious….

 

[Pollyanna263]

I really do and there’s been so much here that’s made me smile as you’re all fairly dry witted too, plus it’s almost quite grounding to read here and not feel like I’m the one that’s unable to keep up with the influencers - you all point out the inconsistencies that help me realise they are lying/manipulating and we’re all fighting a day at a time. the journos and ‘influenzas’ are not the norm and they all have to look in the mirror each day which is the thing I really can’t comprehend!

I so understand why you might feel jealous of Mrs Hinch.

I mean, she’s married to Roland Rat - Superstar! (aka Jamie Hinch - just bizarre)

—

She’s an amazing artist

—

And her culinary skills are exemplary

It is no wonder that the shoppers think we’re jealous!

(Hope this makes you laugh just a tiny bit xxx)

 

[Bigfootz]

This comment on the daily mail saying she was a bully at school

 

[LilPinkie]

Just a point on the space for the boys. I love having a nose at larger houses when they’re on sale, just to see what they’ve done and their garden layout. Some are so amazing for children. One had a mini zip line installed, another a huge adventure playground. I mean there’s even those fab trampolines that you can get built into the ground. I mean if Ron is on the spectrum, a sensory garden would’ve been so, so lovely. Surely, for the love of all things fecking holy, you’d have prioritised your kids in that garden before anything else. They could’ve been having a whale of a time this summer. Ron even had a little house at Guantanamo Grey. Here, he’s got fack all but a shitty war post! Poor boys.

 

[Pollyanna263]

DM comment
Jamie’s new job??

 

[Pollyanna263]

Thread title!

Thread suggestion -

Nusty trolls and lovely soles, that’s what tattle’s made of