MOD & FOD #32 Herringbone, it’s Clem. I need new locks, the skeletons have escaped

[lalalanded]

Haha exactly. Last time I had any festival experience was in my teens and twenties and off my tits - can’t remember a damn thing, but I sure as tit wasn’t dressed in sequins, glitter face paint and fairy wings

Same. Last Glasto I went to was when Springsteen headlined in 2009 I think?!? And it was just full of these twerps with their glitter and spangly leggings being 'wacky'! My first Glasto was when I was 17 back when they still let travellers in for free and most people hopped the non-existent fence to get in . That was also back in the day when Eavis was constantly fighting with the very, very conservative council who absolutely hated the festival and trying to get it shut down. How times have changed.............. now Conservatives are dying in the portaloos. Festivals used to be about getting away from people like that not being surrounded by them. I wouldn't go back if you paid me.

 

[Mustard]

What started the glitter, spangly leggings and headbands craze? It’s like another planet
to me.

 

[Pocahontas]

I’d like to know this too. I’m going to take a guess. Instagram mamas? It looks good on the grid? Like it’s the uniform - a day out at wacky races. Spending all the £££ on glitter capes and mermaid leggings to look high on life.

 

[Mustard]

I’d like to know this too. I’m going to take a guess. Instagram mamas? It looks good on the grid? Like it’s the uniform - a day out at wacky races. Spending all the £££ on glitter capes and mermaid leggings to look high on life.

How sweat inducing and subsequently smell inducing those outfits must be on a hot day.

 

[Pocahontas]

How sweat inducing and subsequently smell inducing those outfits must be on a hot day.

Quite. All that nylon and hairspray.

I seem to recall the fun gang had access to running water - they wouldn’t have been slumming it with baby wipes like the common folk.

 

[OhMyWord]

I don’t get the glitter and idiotic outfits either. I’ve not been to a festival in awhile but I do like a stadium show where I’m on my feet for hours and it’s all about comfort. The last one I went to was in Sweden in July (it was hot) so floaty maxi dress, sturdy shoes and a bottle of water was my ‘uniform.’ Oh, and my ‘gram photo that I posted looks awesome

 

[lalalanded]

Quite. All that nylon and hairspray.

I seem to recall the fun gang had access to running water - they wouldn’t have been slumming it with baby wipes like the common folk.

I'm sure they would have been in Camp Kerala which is eye wateringly expensive. And now that I think about it - Wateraid gets a massive donation from Glasto every year so I'm wondering if their trip was some sort of tie in. Honestly, I want to puke just thinking about it.

 

[Instashamous]

I got to festivals pretty much every year. My clothing consists of plain wellies, some trainers, some shorts, some T-shirt’s, some dresses. Stuff I don’t mind getting ruined. Early 00’s Kate moss did it best.

there’s a lot of flying fag butts at festivals, I’m surprised one of the instahuns hasn’t gone up in flames with all the polyester

 

[EddieBeds]

Festival toilets are like the bog of eternal stench shut your eyes, mouth breathe and don’t touch anything you don’t need to. Can’t imagine Clembot and her ilk navigating around the stained loo roll and dark mountain myself

Also, hello my lover (from another West Country maid - well, incomer really)

This has had me laughing so much. I went to Glasto in 2008, and remember being in the queue for the long drop loos (I can still smell them now ) and hearing a scream and thought someone had fallen in. Nope, no one had fallen in but this girl had dropped her bag down the loo!!! Proper grim - and they even fetched it out for her too!

Has anyone seen the first Inbetweeners film? Can you remember the other teenager that follows them around a bit/desperately wants to join them who they tell to pretty much piss off at every turn - that’s what I imagine Clemdog and Sly to be like at a festival. Cringe on so many levels - the story of Clem and DLAM gate crashing the tent party kind of confirms it.

 

[Heyjude]

Festival toilets are like the bog of eternal stench shut your eyes, mouth breathe and don’t touch anything you don’t need to. Can’t imagine Clembot and her ilk navigating around the stained loo roll and dark mountain myself

Also, hello my lover (from another West Country maid - well, incomer really)

I bet Clem & co use the shepees! I tried once but it was a massive fail. Wet trousers all night

Big up the Wezzcun’ry massive!

Same. Last Glasto I went to was when Springsteen headlined in 2009 I think?!? And it was just full of these twerps with their glitter and spangly leggings being 'wacky'! My first Glasto was when I was 17 back when they still let travellers in for free and most people hopped the non-existent fence to get in . That was also back in the day when Eavis was constantly fighting with the very, very conservative council who absolutely hated the festival and trying to get it shut down. How times have changed.............. now Conservatives are dying in the portaloos. Festivals used to be about getting away from people like that not being surrounded by them. I wouldn't go back if you paid me.

Ahhhh I remember the days of getting in for free on a Sunday. It was such a great, proper festival back then. I bet even Billy Bragg doesn’t go anymore. I saw Keanu Reeves walking around at my first Glastonbury, I think his band was playing over the weekend and he was just strolling around looking all cool and handsome and nobody was bothering him. Can you imagine how many hundreds of phones he’d have shoved in his face if that happened with today’s crowd? Mobile phones have been the death of atmosphere.

 

[qwerty_79]

She really comes across as a spoilt brat who has never stepped back and looked at herself and thought how lucky she is. How can one not take stock of that by her age and be more appreciative? And not be aware that you are not above other people? That is teenage behaviour. How does one not have more graciousness and humility to see how fortunate you are? Or the self-awareness? She and FOD both lack this in spades. Bear with me here: I relate to her/them on one level as I had a privileged upbringing (not meaning to sound a twit so don't hate) but boy am I aware of it and grateful for it. My parents never let us think money grew on trees or that we shouldn't work hard because we had money and they raised us to have respect towards others. It's sad CH never seemed happy but as others have said so bored and miserable and frankly rather mean. Goes to show money most definitely doesn't buy you happiness. Sorry for the mini essay but if she ever dares hashtag bekind I might vomit.

It is possible she / they truly believe people are not kind. They probably even believe people should be grateful they’re on the gram to lead the plebs towards a better life. Especially if they grew up and move within a circle or people that never really had to work hard for anything. Maybe is upbringing, maybe is sense of self-entitlement. I sometimes need to be reminded of how lucky I have been in life as I do tend to focus on the negatives, but I’m also very lucky my husband calls bs when I go into one of those moods... doesn’t seem the ODs have that dynamic? Also I don’t go about posting daily videos of me moaning about the injustices of the world

 

[Heyjude]

What started the glitter, spangly leggings and headbands craze? It’s like another planet
to me.

I think it might have been a Camp Bestival thing which has filtered to all other festivals maybe? The instamumhuns have helped it spread like a jazzy technicolour disease. I think some of the Lycra is clearly to show off their bodies too. A Lycra all in one at a summertime festival? It’s not just the bogs that are stinking!

 

[MrsHater]

I now think it’s hilarious but very cringe when the influencers ask for suggestions on things when it’s so blatant they’re on the scrounge.
Like Finlay Fox asking where to buy paint errr, a DIY shop or farrowandball.com! Annnnddddddd GOOGLE it fuckers!

You can almost hear them sigh when us plebs innocently offer a suggestion rather than a brand throwing a freebie their way!

Finlay_Fox is beggy AF. Such a try hard too. She’s not even cool; just a frumpy mum trying way too hard and living off freebies. That pout too .

 

[Clazza]

Why has FOD not posted for ages - have I missed something?

 

[Smartie]

So bets for a FOD return this weekend.

Friday with a end of week exhaustion, I'm just like you, old and wrinkled
Saturday with a tip run, we replace everything fortnightly so screw the environment
Or
Sunday with a ride reflection in lycra in a field

Place your bets now!

 

[Axatogrind]

Place your bets now!

Great idea!

I'll go with anything along the lines of "it felt wrong in light of the current circumstances to post any sooner, I have been using the time away from the 'gram to re-evaluate and educate myself..." or some such bollocks and the photo will feature nature in one form or another.

 

[frostily]

Great idea!

I'll go with anything along the lines of "it felt wrong in light of the current circumstances to post any sooner, I have been using the time away from the 'gram to re-evaluate and educate myself..." or some such bollocks and the photo will feature nature in one form or another.

bleeping nature’s photo frame

 

[Heretoread84]

It'll be a post about how best to handle accusations of racism as an influencer, because he loves to tell us plebs how to do things. Remember that ridiculous post about how to protect ourselves from Covid just before lockdown? Patronising duck. Whilst Clemmie thinks she's the Queen, FOD lords it about like we're his undereducated lowly servants and it's his duty to educate us. He's one of those people that everyone talks about behind his back - but he thinks they're his friends and in awe of him

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

He could just reuse the apology from when he fucked up IWD for his next post. Handy that he got apologies to fall back on...

 

[frostily]

Finlay_Fox is beggy AF. Such a try hard too. She’s not even cool; just a frumpy mum trying way too hard and living off freebies. That pout too .

And she just looks and sounds so bored all the time