MOD & FOD #28 Pink jumpsuit MAMIL, toe of camel, had corona, but got no boner

[Pocahontas]

Can just imagine him feeling sooooo proud of his composition, posting it, and waiting for the waves of admiration and sympathy to come pouring in - and then a groan from the other room:
‘Simonnnnn, delete it you twit. And take my bleeping leggings off while you’re at it’.’

 

[Workinggirlfromhome]

I can’t write I’m that he needs a proper job in a land far far away. twit!

 

[NovemberBella]

Hey all been reading for a wee while now as never could stomach either arrogant pseudo posho. However, the latest (now deleted) post from that absolute belter is just jaw-dropping beyond belief.
Mummy Howard must be so proud of her little prince’s integrity although I imagine that his fake Covoid has caused a few extra side effects that haven’t been reported thus far: constant screeching by one’s wife for example
See ya Sly you piece of tit

 

[Yel]

Oh my just seen Clemmie hands dancing with a cactus while hiding, I need to go to bed but can't wait to read the last 10 pages here tomorrow. I'm , I can't even

 

[NovemberBella]

Me again, so let me get this straight, yesterday they learn that someone close has passed away and today he is dancing around, being a quiz-master whilst she waving a giant catcus. Boy, their grief sure was palpable.
Lying

 

[SaladDressing]

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What an absolute wanker!!!!
Seriously those leggings must have cut off the oxygen supply to his brain for that cheap shot.
Tsssssk Fodcliffe if you want more than a hundred comments stop banging on about your cardboard cut-out wife and your Convid-19 .... Hunz are drying up at the speed of #gifted Edison lightbulbs

 

[Bizziebody]

I can’t write I’m that he needs a proper job in a land far far away. twit!

What exactly is his job ?

 

[Blurp]

He just makes my skin crawl. Do you honestly think anyone likes his crap??! I hate people chucking kids around. I never did it with mine he seems to think the twins are just there for him to throw about.
Give them some posh space and leave them one. I hated people picking me up when I was little. God he is so awful.
So many people died today, 10,000 this week, I really can't believe people are in the mood for his attention seeking crap.
Mortifying.
And my god she has sex with him I mean can you imagine anyone less attractive or fanciable.
Ick

Judging by the embarrassing crush thread, even Matt Hancock gets more fantasy sex than FOD.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

He’s almost certainly going to hit 975k tomorrow. I reckon the Bestival thing was meant to be a comeback but only 500 people cared. Oh dear, so sad, never mind.

 

[Smartie]

You don't reckon this was a scheduled post, gone wrong? So it wasn't meant to upload until tomorrow (he never does stuff in real time he says when we call him out) and reference to friend dying yesterday was actually today? Do you think he's thrown it up and hit post instead of schedule, quickly clammered to take it down, and it will reappear tomorrow?

 

[Walnutss]

Me again, so let me get this straight, yesterday they learn that someone close has passed away and today he is dancing around, being a quiz-master whilst she waving a giant catcus. Boy, their grief sure was palpable.
Lying

I can't believe I forgot this bit he is actually the biggest hole alive

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

He’s almost certainly going to hit 975k tomorrow. I reckon the Bestival thing was meant to be a comeback but only 500 people cared. Oh dear, so sad, never mind.

Did only 500 people tune into the insta live then? bleeping hell when will brands learn their lesson with him...

That’s 0.05% of his following after 3 weeks of lock down which have left the nation crying out for new & free forms of entertainment... and yet he couldn’t even get a complete percentage point to tune in, we are counting to 2 decimal places here guys Half a tenth of a percent. I truly despair.

 

[NovemberBella]

You don't reckon this was a scheduled post, gone wrong? So it wasn't meant to upload until tomorrow (he never does stuff in real time he says when we call him out) and reference to friend dying yesterday was actually today? Do you think he's thrown it up and hit post instead of schedule, quickly clammered to take it down, and it will reappear tomorrow?

If this is the case, this actually makes it worse - even at the very depths of barrel scraping that FOD is prepared to go.
To pre-schedule a post about a friend’s death (real or otherwise), then to implore his “followers” to stay home and stay safe ... although not today folks, tomorrow will do.
Surely we are all just watching a mockumentary that’s been penned by Daisy and Charlie Cooper. Although more often than not, it’s like watching an episode of Spitting Image, centred around one family (although to be fair, Hinch has cornered this market fairly well).

 

[AdoraDelano]

In the NHS they're only testing staff members who have symptoms so they can get back to work quicker if they don't have it. So either she's had the test because she's had symptoms, and she's got it, or like someone else said, they've paid privately for a test to see if they've had it, because they're definitely not widely available yet.

 

[Dragonmother]

He read here, knew we all thought them having the virus was horseshit....so decided he'd put up a post with fake news that they both had it.

Except, because he's such a loser, forgot about the impact that lie would have on his wife being a key worker...

 

[Fan-dang-gu]

It seems FOD is talking to the more highbrow audience when he says that Ottilie was the most popular name of 2019.... it was, with Telegraph readers. He and his wife have had many more namechecks in the DM...

 

[jeaner]

I cannot wait to see what the next post will be. Groupon FOD will be loving this, a step closer to the crown/leggings!

 

[Emmadale]

He read here, knew we all thought them having the virus was horseshit....so decided he'd put up a post with fake news that they both had it.

Except, because he's such a loser, forgot about the impact that lie would have on his wife being a key worker...

Yes I think it’s this! I don’t believe he had it and sounds terrible but I’d question if he had a close friend who died from it - everything is content for this guy! If all true, why take down the post?!

as for the poor turnout to his quiz....people have got nothing to do and they couldn’t even be bothered to tune in....says something!

 

[frostily]

He read here, knew we all thought them having the virus was horseshit....so decided he'd put up a post with fake news that they both had it.

Except, because he's such a loser, forgot about the impact that lie would have on his wife being a key worker...

There's so many lies he can't keep up with himself

 

[OhMyWord]

Did only 500 people tune into the insta live then? bleeping hell when will brands learn their lesson with him...

That’s 0.05% of his following after 3 weeks of lock down which have left the nation crying out for new & free forms of entertainment... and yet he couldn’t even get a complete percentage point to tune in, we are counting to 2 decimal places here guys Half a tenth of a percent. I truly despair.

We won’t know how many hate-watchers factor into that 500. Could be even less than .05%!