MOD & FOD #28 Pink jumpsuit MAMIL, toe of camel, had corona, but got no boner

Pocahontas · Apr 18, 2020

Dogmuck said:
What? You have a best friend who is tea total? Weird friendship
Also you are doing her a massive favour...get that tit out of her life...get it delivered to you immediately!
Also I like a good quality New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc or a Spanish Rioja or a Malbec - everything else you can distribute amongst the others. I’m cool with that

A good quality NZ Sauv Blanc or a perky little Spanish number ... I’ll remember these exact wine preferences for when we meet and / or get married. There I said it!

OhMyWord said:
I went back through his posts to see if I was remembering the whole ‘you can always find her in the kitchen at parties’ thing properly to make a joke. But instead I found a photo from that night with 1000 comments under it (between Christmas and New Years). His latest post has 123 comments. Ouch! How the mighty have fallen.

Clearly, not many people get hot at the sight of FOD dicking about in a shiny Burton suit and his wife’s spectacles.

Brian Butterfield · Apr 18, 2020

Is he on 972 yet?

I can't even bring myself to hate watch him anymore as I find him so utterly annoying and cretinous.

rainbowlemon · Apr 18, 2020

Pocahontas said:
Life changer, that was. Avo. Cado. On toast! Mind blowing.

Maybe she can get a book deal like her old friend Hungermama...

Pocahontas · Apr 18, 2020

rainbowlemon said:
Maybe she can get a book deal like her old friend Hungermama...

Served with a side salad of narcissism and self-pity!

Sven · Apr 18, 2020

blurstoftimes said:
Didn't he miss his christmas work do because no one reminded him? I think that's a sign of how popular he is at his work place...

Pretty much suited for FOD then. Oh no I forgot that he's *really* into deep house.

The thing is, with work dos people are always chatting about them when they come up! ‘What are you wearing?’ ‘How are you getting there?’ ‘Shall we meet for a drink before?’

I wonder if they were all quiet about it to him.

Gem74 · Apr 18, 2020

Apologies if already known, but the house of hooper page is no longer private

Pain of chocolate · Apr 18, 2020

Pocahontas said:
Life changer, that was. Avo. Cado. On toast! Mind blowing.

Michelin star chef she is our Clammsy

Treeofforgiveness · Apr 18, 2020

Gem74 said:
Apologies if already known, but the house of hooper page is no longer private

Can’t wait until it’s up and running! Interiors design and home renovation from FoD
FFS

What fun we’ll have

Brian Butterfield · Apr 18, 2020

PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP.

And can he enable bleeping spell check?!

Being locked up with the ones you love can be tough, as you know how to push each others buttons and yesterday, the envitible happened. After 25 days of lockdown, the underlying cracks in the family unit gave way, the dam of politeness broke & we descended in the mother of all arguments over smallest thing possible - some clothes on the floor - which then grew and grew and grew. All 6 of us lost control and ended up shouting, crying, raging and it had been brewing for days. We were like a school of caged argumentive sharks circling each other, waiting for one to show a sign of weakness so that we could attack and rip each to shreds. It wasn't pretty & no one came away a winner. Today we sheepishly came down to this message on the fridge from Clemmie, we pressed reset on everything and let the storm blow over. Remember, for every lovely picture of baking or arts & crafts on here, there's also an equal amount of frustration and arguements and that's ok, as long as you can forgive and move on. #lockdownbreakdown #fridgemessages #breakingpoint #itsoktorage #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #fod

Miss Anne Thrope · Apr 18, 2020

Commas. Commas should be his friend. Sigh.

Brian Butterfield · Apr 18, 2020

Miss Anne Thrope said:
Commas. Commas should be his friend. Sigh.

Simon and grammar are not friends.

rainbowlemon · Apr 18, 2020

hongkongfuey said:
Simon and grammar are not friends.

Neither are #ADs.

I remember being in primary school, giving a girl a thumb's down- it was serious we weren't friends anymore.

frostily · Apr 18, 2020

hongkongfuey said:
Simon and grammar are not friends.

grammar probably unfollowed him with the other 20k..

Brian Butterfield · Apr 18, 2020

I'm just furiously refreshing and waiting for him to hit 972.

rainbowlemon · Apr 18, 2020

Bountymargate's new home is set up as a B&B. Maybe we could do a group booking and she'll give us a discount if we use the code #Fodders.

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Treeofforgiveness · Apr 18, 2020

Oh furious fucks to him-he thinks he’s so “right on and hanging in there”
Go sleep in the bleeping spare room love, it’s so “funky” and where you belong!

ILoveUnicorns · Apr 18, 2020

He really does write the way a child would tell a story, ‘which then grew and grew and grew’ honestly my 9 year old could write better. If only he filmed it all kicking off, now that would have been fun to watch - where’s the damn phone then!!!

Titfer · Apr 18, 2020

He posted one of the twins having a tantrum (off screen) on his stories

it's upsetting - I hate that noise.

Tattlingpineapple · Apr 18, 2020

I would like to send some of his posts to primary school teachers and pretend it's from a 5th grader and let them mark it

heretoreaditall2019 · Apr 18, 2020

rainbowlemon said:
Bountymargate's new home is set up as a B&B. Maybe we could do a group booking and she'll give us a discount if we use the code #Fodders.

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that breakfast waffle looks lovely, god I miss brunch

Tattlingpineapple said:
I would like to send some of his posts to primary school teachers and pretend it's from a 5th grader and let them mark it

There are teachers on the Candice B thread grading her writing in line with GCSE criteria