How I lost and found myself: advice from a therapy guru. episode 1:
“When I lost myself, I started being so forgetful. I forgot my surname, my ethnic background. I was forgetting where I’d been, I forgot where I went New Year’s Eve, forgot who drank my bottle of champagne, and craziest of all mom, I only went and forgot we were in a pandemic.
When you lose your appearance, it’s fairly easy to fix, you just clone somebody else’s, that’s what I did. I picked holly boon. It’s simple really, just make friends with them and then start the cloning process. Steal somebody’s look and give off those bad witch vibes mamis xxx
I love myself so much, and how I did that was by splashing a few thousand on a boob job- inflating my tits really inflated my ego, and that’s the way to do it moms. Save your pennies in your 9 to 5s and you too can have a pair, make sure you get them three sizes too big for your body frame too to really give you that life jacket effect.
Massage is paramount in finding yourself- the nipples are the best area to begin, you want to make them as hard as possible and post pics to grab the boys attention, emphasise that you have them pierced. If you need to find yourself again you’re making it easy, can’t bleeping miss you with those out.
When you’re finding yourself again it is important to latch onto a man, anyone who will buy you designer really. It’s important that you make sure everybody knows you have a man, to prove that you’re wanted. It’s also essential to refer to ex lovers as your ‘brother’, incest is absolutely key- no need to find yourself when your pirate brother has already found every crevice.
It was lucky really that I found myself again just before my pay checks ran out, because a 9 to 5 is not my path nor what I want to do with my life. Make sure you make as quick of a turnaround as I did, you can turn your life around like I did... you too can be a therapy guru after 10 sessions.”
a real life account of badisons journey