Vlog Thursday 19th November
- She's donated a wreath for a children's mental health charity. I see you're temporarily back to being pleasant again, Lydia. To what drug do we owe this pleasure to?
- She shows the sage green tea towels sent from a follower. She's had tea towels from this company before, but they matched the old kitchen. She loves how we all know her so well. I don't. I have a question, Lydia. Did you major in assholism or are you just a natural in this field?
- Since last year, when she did the homeless sleep-out, she likes to do something like this at this time of year. It coincides with hitting 900K followers with a new giveaway. It involves a handbag. She's not saying anymore though. Let me know when you're able to emotionally process me calling out on your bullshit. I'll be here.
- She's had confirmation that the family office will be done in time for Christmas. She's so excited. It's her priority. You have your whole life to be an asshole Lydia. Why are you trying to use it all before Christmas?
- She's been putting together an edit of wines with Virgin Wines. Their motto is life is too short for boring wine. It's £95.88. I knew she hadn't become cultured without a monetary incentive. Pisstified. The state of being equal parts of pissed off and mystified.
- Lumi brought a mouse into the hall. Ali caught it with his bare hands and shows it to the camera. I'd say it's less furry than Lydia's eyebrows. But that's not of my business.
- She's opened the new Christmas wreath. She goes oh my goodness babeeee. She says shall we put it straight up. Before Ali answered, she goes come on to him. With that, how can we help the world revolve more around you today, Lydia?
- She's had the delivery of dreams arrive. The latest addition to her wedding stack. Its fugly. It's gifted. Standard. She says it's the dream. The dream has eight letters. So does bullshit. Ironic isn't it.
- Lumi's temperament hasn't changed around Bolly. She says it looks promising about getting a dog, but they're still having more talks. 50 shades of so done with this. Just get the dog already.
- She's ordered more rustic Christmas decorations. She likes them because they can't get rusty because they're already rustic. More pheasant feathers. And bird ornaments. Settle down, I can't take the excitement.
- She finds reorganising therapeutic. Explains why you do it all the time then, Lydia. She even organised her faffing cupboard. She's sold lots of things, most of them to her friends. And you wonder why you find it difficult to make friends. Your problem is not knowing you're the problem.
- She's breaking Lauren's balls by asking her should she keep or sell each item. If dignity was money. You could maybe buy a soda.
- They've moved Lumi's food and water bowls because they looked and smelt disgusting in the kitchen. Where you ask? In the laundry room. Not on the floor. No, that would be far too sensible. On the surfaces. So, that's all the clean laundry no longer clean then. White was so last month anyway.
- She's had a sort out of all her alcohol. Her fancy champagnes are warm though. She says they'll be having a hell of a party, and as they're redoing the games room next year, they may as well trash it. Just when I thought I couldn't dislike you any more. You prove me wrong by saying more stupid tit.
- She's selling her orchids, as she doesn't like them, as they remind her of a posh London hotel and that's not what she wants her house to look like. I thought I almost heard you start talking about aesthetics again, but I could not hear you over my internal hope that you'd shut the duck up.
I’ve just finished watching her latest vlog - they were having a bonfire to ‘burn some documents’ ?! Who does that? What are they burning?! Don’t most people use a shredder?
