Lydia Millen #202 The latest for the Cotswold’s wannabe is fake beams in the GP Surgery!

[Sofie]

Wow, that hair looks dreadful. Greasy, flat and too severe. Flowy, romantic dress, and hair more suited to a cut price dominatrix.
She never gets it right.

I always think when she turns up at these events looking like a hot mess that she s had to haul herself up off the sofa, scabble to get dressed, slap on some makeup and whack the dirty hair into a bun because really she can t be arsed.

 

[muffintop13]

“It’s so lovely to have my spring/summer suit now”. Where the fuck are you going to wear it? Hardly anyone wears a suit anymore, even people who actually work for a living, and I think I’m right in thinking the blue one she had made has never seen the light of day since the initial purchase. Why do these idiots at Souster entertain these two cretins!? Also, hard agree on how inappropriate it was to allow her to try on someone else’s jacket!! I was not impressed at all.

Also there is no way in hell she ran 10k. She isn’t fit enough to run a 10k.

 

[ella1979]

She says The Lady is the pinnacle of British society reporting. A comment she directly aimed at Americans . She’s desperate for the American market to buy into her countryside , quaint lifestyle .

It’s such a con!.

She seems to forget the best society magazine we have is Tatler . Hello magazine used to be very good at reporting society things, much less tongue in cheek than Tatler can be.

For anyone who doesn’t know, the lady is full of adverts for sabbath stair lifts, orthopedic foot things, incontinance pads, care homes, it has a large classifieds section where people can advertise for carers /housekeepers and Nannie’s. There is a dating section full of weary old (think 80/90yrs old) men looking for women and weird listings from men who want paid or unpaid male escort (s£x workers) .. to ladies of a certain type who blatantly advertise for “an older man with an estate for a relationship”…..

It’s weary!.

They tried to give it a facelift and hired some younger staff some years back but it hasn’t worked . There is an hilarious documentary out there which shows the goings on at The Lady magazine hq .

Boris Johnson’s sister was brought in to revamp it and she described the task as “the challenge of her life” . She described the lady HQ as being like “an undertakers office” .

The programme worth a watch before anyone orders a subscription to it ! Don’t do it

Here’s a link to it . I watched it many years ago because it featured someone I knew


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I have access to the lady (for my sins) so I will look the article madams done and paste it here tomorrow when the new edition is out

 

[Milking Keynes]

Yep Lyds, you're stuck on the Ego Self.
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Double high five on the 'complains about everything' and 'lives in victim mentality'.

Hilarious! Imagine being so self-absorbed and having such little self-awareness. She epitomises Ego Self

 

[Namima]

This is the colour inspiration behind her sWee'd Rose Thorn lipliner. The roses in her garden.
Everything harks back to the GARDEN.
Gardener Lydia.
Remember this : Gardener Lydia.

She wanted to bring the rich red tone TO THE MAKE UP WORLD !!!
WHAAAAAAT !!!!
Charlotte Tillbury beware.

And that is the dullest red tone ever.


And their garden is in a bad state.
Oooh it is so bad.
Especially their lawn, which she says THEIR GARDENER DAVID is trying to sort out, to regrow into the darker green stripes.

Poor gardener David. He has alot to sort out.

Lydia wants to know if she is the only person having a really tough growing year...
Nope, Lid-dee-yaaaah, your gardener David is having a tough growing year.

The plants and flowers outside are full of aphids.
All around the house, the beds and boarders (sic) are contaminated as well.

The mice.
The stoat.
And now her greenhouse is infested with slugs and bugs. Infested.

The cucumbers and tomato plants have been eaten.

She admits incorrectly planting one lot of cucumbers but didn't remedy the situation. Just left it.

"Come on David, why didn't you sort it out " is what she really means.

Lydia says "to her gardening is just about finding the way that makes sense to you and enjoying it."
Ahhhh, so that's why we call the bunga the place where plants go to die.
It's just about YOU enjoying the process. Nothing else. Who cares if all the plants die. And sadly, they all, at some very quick point, die.

"It's not about getting it right."
Her words.

I'm shocked. It's all about Lydia. As per usual. Nothing about actual gardening, growing stuff and actually eating the veg from your kitchen garden.
What an absolute hypocrite and waste of space she is.

Lydia. Why don't you read those 100 gardening books you were gifted and bought over the years, take notes, follow the experts advice and KEEP YOUR PLANTS ALIVE !!!
And actually grow your plants and veg past a week or two.


The only plant / tree to survive in the greenhouse is the fake lemon tree which has been sprouting the same 5 lemons for years months on end. Safe to say, it is the only plant not to be attacked by bugs and slugs.

 

[Greentrees]

Now guys… forget the pretty views of the northern lights, Lydia just posted the view outside the window of her wisteria room…of a brick wall! Wow, how spectacular!

 

[Delizia]

Here is how I think the house could have been improved :

First off, the ground floor :
The current layout doesn't make sense + taking up two rooms upstairs for their wardrobes?
Just turn the whole "east wing" into the ensuite bedroom and wardrobes. That way :
- bedroom away from the door entrance
- two rooms upstairs stay as bedrooms (plus it's always nice to have guest bedrooms/kids bedrooms away from ensuite bedroom for privacy purposes).
- Ali's office on the ground floor is completely redundant when you have 2509sq feet supposedly downstairs.

Turn the current ground floor bathroom into utility room with proper hanging space.
And a bootroom / indoor potting room / pantry room... Whatever Lydia needs to feed her insta.

Downstairs :

Well they really need to fix that depressing fire escape. I still can't believe they added so much crap in the garden but the fire escape still looks such a mess. Open it up !

For the games room that they only ever use once or twice a year, they should just built hidden desk against the walls such as :

But of course in their style, with old fashioned SOLID OAK doors... And in the middle of the room put comfy little sitting areas, the pool and the bar. That space would fit everything. But it would way more used if it doubled as an office.

Lydia's current office : they could turn as a library but put a big table in the middle and TV screen to host meetings and also provide for a quiet space for when anyone in the team needs a little bit of a alone time.

 

[Stephie]

Why didn't she just buy a stately home if that's what she wants? Rather than filing her new build with fake features turning it into some kind of Pride and Prejudice film set. Then again they are two characters playing a role. Cosplaying as Lord and Lady

 

[coconochanel]

I knew she was dumb, but is she really this fucking stupid?

Is she seriously not going to stop this leak and repair it right away??

She makes it sound as if she will continue with other unnecessary decor FIRST, before fixing this water leak ASAP.

Does the daft cow not realize that if not removed and dried out, mold can grow within wet drywall??

Dry rot can occur with any wet untreated wood?

I feel sorry for whomever buys this house from her.

They will be clueless and not know the damage within.

I hope she gets sued to the highest heavens if she doesn't disclose any of this.

One silver lining is the nutter puts everything on the internet, so there is record of the numerous damp issues, leaks, sewer issues, broken loos etc.

She truly is a moron.

Either that or she is angling for free repairs by some local company.

Either way, she's an idiot.

Her priorities are fucked.

Wallpaper, paint color and fake beams are more important to her than fixing major water leaks.

What an absolute moron!

Well maybe she shouldn't have spent all her money on Hermes bags and then she wouldn't be at the 'maximum budget' for house repairs.
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The (damp?) laundry hanging over doorways sent me
How bougie.
I guess an outdoor clothes line does not fit the aesthetic.
But, hey, all the clothing items were cream and beige ... so, quiet luxury ? Everything balances out. Cream and beige. The earth is calm. Nature at ease.


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And on camera, Wisteria Room (oh f*ck off) comes across very YELLOW. And dark. (Last photo above). This was during the day !!

Ahh poor bougie Lyd cant even afford a clothes airer. You can get aesthetically pleasing wooden ones from Dunlem Lyd!

 

[Jessie98]

Surely getting a leak fixed is way more important then interior decorating at the moment????? She is an idiot

 

[Julia123]

Madonna?! unfortunately I missed that. Bet she wasn’t Like a Virgin

Enjoy??? lol

 

[Oops...]

Guys can we stop calling it a bungalow its a Cottage!

This is for the Editors of Hip Replacement Magazine , Bicycle Repair Man Magazine, Fake Lemons Magazine, Fassy Nating Female Magazine and all and any other never-heard of periodicals soon to be beating a pathway through the ugly, overgrown garden of their 3 storey cottage standing in woodlands. Others have pointed some of this out but it may help to consolidate it all together in one defined post…

As a self-diagnosed dyslexic and non-reader of books ( books are for listening to guys - just sayin’) we are now building the equivalent of the Bodleian Library In the damp basement. The books will love the damp and many of the books only look like books but aren’t real because they just go with the aesthetic...Zzzzz.

The woodlands became part of the borrowed view when all fences were removed ( despite all their pets needing defined boundaries for their own safety). The careful dog breeders made a twice in a lifetime exception for these two ‘ influencers’ because it was so clear they were very special people and no dog would ever venture beyond the confines of their unfenced garden. Sadly, it’s possible both dogs were farmed but many are still too upset about it to start on that merry-go-round again. No good breeder would have let a puppy go to a property without clearly defined boundaries…It starts with well fenced or walled in doesn’t it?


The garden looks like a municipal car park at Soho Farmhouse. She saw the lights there. Then she placed strategic camouflaged army personnel out on manoeuvres in the grounds. She told us they were birch trees but we knew they were beech. Pity. The ride on mower was sold and unsuccesful wild meadow seeds were sown. Net result? Chaos. Lovely. Everyone loves empty raised beds in a kitchen garden don’t they? All that waste of a greenhouse and veg beds when they don’t actually enjoy gardening and everyone knows it. It’s all a complete facade and farce. It’s utterly pointless yet she goes on every year and still grows seeds in her kitchen because the greenhouse is too far for her to walk…How many of those seeds ever get planted outside? It’s all an act.

The world’s only curated small shed lives in this garden. All for the country life aesthetic - but that looks grim and over cluttered too.

She has an attic room she calls a vault. It’s a room in the eaves for overspill items now, no doubt, packed to the rafters. It’s not a vault at all. If an insurance company came and looked at it it would be regarded as another fire hazard. No mention of insurance during the present flood in the basement. He once gave a Ted Talk on sump pumps but no-one stayed awake long enough to benefit from it.

She can’t leave doors in place thus all the bad feng shui in the house. Leaks, potential fires, falls from grace, embarrassment, arguments and loss of finances were all predicted but she knew best. The house is top heavy with wood especially in the kitchen thus the possibility of fire.

She has a gym but never works out. He used to but has lost all his muscle weight and now suffers with high blood pressure. No acknowledgement of his birthday again this year.

The three storey cottage has an east wing and a west wing with monogrammed bedrooms no-one ever sleeps in. The east and west wings are on same level and next to the kitchen and may collect cooking smells! Ha! Cooking! There are views of walls through both small windows of these over-decorated wings/rooms.

She lost 2 bedrooms at the top of the house by turning them into 2 small dressing rooms where you can only stand up in two areas. In the rest of both rooms you have to stoop to camera.

So the three storey cottage has 3 smallish bedrooms and an overgrown garden. The basement leaks and always has despite the DIY sump pumps. It will not be healthy to breathe down there for a long time.

One powder room has never worked and never gets used so no one on basement level can use the loo or wash their hands. By now you’d have called in a plumbing expert wouldn’t you? Tish-poo - no mention of said expert. No. No expert. You see that’s the problem with 3 story cottages. The bottom storey is rendered almost un-liveable in because of the plumbing (or sad lack of it).

All this work being done in said basement will be a waste of time because neither of them read enough ( the spelling gives it away doesn’t it.) to warrant a library. Neither of them can be bothered to work out anymore and they watch films in their black (soon to be green) small sitting room. I believe he calls it a lounge. So a gym is surplus to requirements and so is a cinema room. What they both need is space to do their jobs properly without stooping to camera. Somewhere they can actually stand up and have massive useful wardrobes for all the polyester and ginger that gets conshoooomed in that 3 storey cottage in a year. Their non-existant ‘staff’ would then have to go on payroll and be seen…Hmmmm…When the tax man catches up with their staff situation there will be huge fines and a whole lot more bother caused by them believing they are above the law. Hmmm…should have left the doors on - but she knows best.

A more apt name for The Bungalow would be Posturing House ( not Potager House).

 

[coconochanel]

Love the way she says 'My Tailor', hun you only use him because it's a paid partnership and you never wear anything he makes you anyway!

 

[Miss Trunchbull]

Has anyone read her interview in hip and healthy? It’s hilarious and typical Lidl.
Why does she never slip up when the mask slips…

Is Hip and Healthy a medical journal for physios who have patients with joint replacements?
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Hair plugs in 3....2....1.......View attachment 2923255

Looks like a magician put the wrong legs back on the torso……his feet hardly reach the stirrups…..

 

[Staple]

she’s been paid for this though!? Someone at the brand has reviewed it and said “well done, cheque’s in the post” One of life’s great mysteries

Is this because there’s too many middle aged men in positions of power at these places that are dumb as fuck about social media and just go “ooh yeah boobs, swirling and some spritzes of perfume and boobs yes boobs that’s fine give it the green light”

 

[coconochanel]

She is always on a rant about how she sees things differently now. You don't you just don't get the opportunities anymore thanks to your bad behaviour and shit work ethnic. This rant is about when they went to Cannes and Ali interviewed Lewis Hamilton and then he came back and went to his job as an electrician how weird the two worlds were and then they went to Boa Boa and she obviously wasn't going to turn down a chance to go to Boa Boa.
I think it's clear she is pissed she doesn't get the big gigs/opportunities anymore to fly here there and everywhere to 'bougie countries/places and is stuck in her bung redecorating rooms that don't need redecorating and doing gardening she doesn't really enjoy for content.

 

[Greentrees]

I just watched the bit in the vlog where Lydia and Ali were walking down to the bee hive, to which she described, going on a "voyage".

"The reason for our voyage today is.." Voyage?!

The last time i heard someone talk about and use the word voyage in the right context, was in a documentary about the voyages of Marco Polo in the year 1271 and Christopher Columbus in 1492. But here we have Lydia in 2024 thinking she is trekking across her garden thinking she is on her maiden voyage on foot to the bee station.

I don't know...maybe it's just me, but it just sounded out of place and like she's just plucking words that don't fit in, like she usually does.

Can't she just say "the reason for going down to see the bees today are because......

 

[coconochanel]

You know she is desperate for the coin when she is being interviewed by magazines no ones heard of or reads .

 

[Ravenstown]

I disliked her from the moment I encountered her on the internet in 2010 or something like that. She worked in that shop and she was as much as a try hard arsehole then as she is now. She simply wears a different costume today.

 

[ella1979]

Queen of polyester

if looks could kill (the first few shots especially) her audience would be dead !

She should never wear that type of bustier .

Agree re age. I hate to say this I really do . But when I see a perfume ad the girls are typically flawless , beautiful and youthful . Her face is imo too strong in features to be called pretty . Perfume ads with flowers call for a romantic looking , young , pretty woman/girl . She’s gone for granny chic and now she has it

the ad doesn’t work . Max 25yrs for that dress imo and anyone with implants should probably avoid
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Also leaning back and exposing neck bands at her age is never good for an ad. I know we all have them but …..

the sleeves on the dress are like josies wedding dress and the posing twirling, hand on hip , running is like leonoras filming