Lydia Millen #185 Two kitchens but she still can’t cook, instead she ‘wrote’ a booky wook.

[Oops...]

Yes, the outline of her next book is about the ghost of a girl with a tatty head who wanders across the moors and knocks on the windows of a dilapidated house, moaning about a tanning mitt. A passing traveller has taken refuge but decides to leave as there are no functioning toilets in the guest bedrooms.

Then please allow me to transport you back to a desolate 18C moor, where seasonal moor rambler Evergreen Elsie is bashing hell out of her latticed bedroom window and screeching her insistence that her husband - Hosiery Merchant, Keith Spliff, let’s her back in. She’s been outside scrubbing the roof again!

Cue music…

Buggering Tights…

Out on a boring windy moor
I set my scene in green
I have a temper like you’ve never seen
My God, I’m greedy!
I’m haunting you, I’ll cut you through
I’m Goose you’re Boo - or else we’re through
I’m telling you…

Bad scenes in the night
You’re throwing up and that ain’t flippin‘ right
I really blame your
Buggering, Buggering, Buggering Tights

Keith Spliff…it’s me, it’s Elsie, I‘ve come home
I’m - so cold - let me in like a bimbo
Keith Spliff….It’s me I’m Elsie, I’ve come home
I’m so cold, let me in like a bimbo…





Note from the Author.
For best results use Daz.

 

[Hunevoque2]

As much as I cannot stand the insufferable, smug and twee Josie, she would actually be a more suitable candidate to write a book like this. She can at least string a sentence together, can actually cook, grow vegetables and arrange flowers, and also she lives in a genuinely beautiful home (not a bunga!).

Not sure about the cooking!

 

[Al Fresco]

As much as I cannot stand the insufferable, smug and twee Josie, she would actually be a more suitable candidate to write a book like this. She can at least string a sentence together, can actually cook, grow vegetables and arrange flowers, and also she lives in a genuinely beautiful home (not a bunga!).

I can see them doing one about their recommendations for visiting the Cotswolds with a bit of home and garden inspo plus Chas’ recipes included. Theirs will be full of paid product placement but I could see it being more successful.

 

[Here-For-The-Dresses]

I can see them doing one about their recommendations for visiting the Cotswolds with a bit of home and garden inspo plus Chas’ recipes included. Theirs will be full of paid product placement but I could see it being more successful.

Daylesford and Bamford on every page that Strawtops aren’t on.

 

[Rachy24881]

Buggering Tights @Oops... you are so, so talented. Unlike a certain someone else we know, who manages to get a book published

 

[Catlady1234]

I wonder why it’s not maintaining the top 10 spot
I am happy to say, it’s still no1 in the Indoor plant coasters section


edited to add that I noticed Ali was very quiet all weekend. Was he busy with the mini eggs? I hope he is ok

 

[coconochanel]

Daylesford and Bamford on every page that Strawtops aren’t on.

Sponsored by Bamfords

 

[SoHereForTheGoss]

I can’t with the ‘Kate Middleton’ learnt way of speaking Lydia has now. Kate was educated to speak that way, you can tell when someone older learns to change their diction, it just sounds contrived. I’m all happy for people improving themselves, this is overkill! People are begging for her to do the audiobook too, I couldn’t listen to her voice that long without wanting to shout at her to hurry up and spit it out!!

 

[Peppypoopar]

Everbeg
Everme
Eversmug
Everdrunk
Evershit

Anymore please???

Evervain
Everbossy
Evernasty
Everpuffy
Eversinglewhitefemale
Evergreedy..............

 

[grannypinks]

Then please allow me to transport you back to a desolate 18C moor, where seasonal moor rambler Evergreen Elsie is bashing hell out of her latticed bedroom window and screeching her insistence that her husband - Hosiery Merchant, Keith Spliff, let’s her back in. She’s been outside scrubbing the roof again!

Cue music…

Buggering Tights…

Out on a boring windy moor
I set my scene in green
I have a temper like you’ve never seen
My God, I’m greedy!
I’m haunting you, I’ll cut you through
I’m Goose you’re Boo - or else we’re through
I’m telling you…

Bad scenes in the night
You’re throwing up and that ain’t flippin‘ right
I really blame your
Buggering, Buggering, Buggering Tights

Keith Spliff…it’s me, it’s Elsie, I‘ve come home
I’m - so cold - let me in like a bimbo
Keith Spliff….It’s me I’m Elsie, I’ve come home
I’m so cold, let me in like a bimbo…





Note from the Author.
For best results use Daz.

Genius!

 

[Peppypoopar]

Noticed Molly Mae has a very similar if not the same engagement ring as Tamara, Lydiot "I want one" Millen-moron will be Everjealous

 

[Geranium]

Then please allow me to transport you back to a desolate 18C moor, where seasonal moor rambler Evergreen Elsie is bashing hell out of her latticed bedroom window and screeching her insistence that her husband - Hosiery Merchant, Keith Spliff, let’s her back in. She’s been outside scrubbing the roof again!

Cue music…

Buggering Tights…

Out on a boring windy moor
I set my scene in green
I have a temper like you’ve never seen
My God, I’m greedy!
I’m haunting you, I’ll cut you through
I’m Goose you’re Boo - or else we’re through
I’m telling you…

Bad scenes in the night
You’re throwing up and that ain’t flippin‘ right
I really blame your
Buggering, Buggering, Buggering Tights

Keith Spliff…it’s me, it’s Elsie, I‘ve come home
I’m - so cold - let me in like a bimbo
Keith Spliff….It’s me I’m Elsie, I’ve come home
I’m so cold, let me in like a bimbo…





Note from the Author.
For best results use Daz.

One of your best ever

 

[Al Fresco]

Noticed Molly Mae has a very similar if not the same engagement ring as Tamara, Lydiot "I want one" Millen-moron will be Everjealous View attachment 2344824View attachment 2344825View attachment 2344826

Evergreenwithenvy.

 

[Miscanthus]

Then please allow me to transport you back to a desolate 18C moor, where seasonal moor rambler Evergreen Elsie is bashing hell out of her latticed bedroom window and screeching her insistence that her husband - Hosiery Merchant, Keith Spliff, let’s her back in. She’s been outside scrubbing the roof again!

Cue music…

Buggering Tights…

Out on a boring windy moor
I set my scene in green
I have a temper like you’ve never seen
My God, I’m greedy!
I’m haunting you, I’ll cut you through
I’m Goose you’re Boo - or else we’re through
I’m telling you…

Bad scenes in the night
You’re throwing up and that ain’t flippin‘ right
I really blame your
Buggering, Buggering, Buggering Tights

Keith Spliff…it’s me, it’s Elsie, I‘ve come home
I’m - so cold - let me in like a bimbo
Keith Spliff….It’s me I’m Elsie, I’ve come home
I’m so cold, let me in like a bimbo…





Note from the Author.
For best results use Daz.

Brilliant! Anybody else singing this? The words are so much better than the original!

 

[starship1]

Lily Pebbles vlog on the EA overnighter, everyone around LEM is posher and more established than her. And they all have houses that LEM would envy as they didn't have to try so hard. Haha.

 

[Miscanthus]

Lily Pebbles vlog on the EA overnighter, everyone around LEM is posher and more established than her. And they all have houses that LEM would envy as they didn't have to try so hard. Haha.

Ooh...do we get to see Lidl in the wild? I might even watch!

 

[starship1]

Ooh...do we get to see Lidl in the wild? I might even watch!

Yes you do, no Carrie too, so not so clique-y. Just her..trying..to..fit..in.

 

[UnexpectedFlamingo]

Look who we have here, it’s the queen of bleeping cringe! There she goes again doing one of her awkward walks down the stairs, fixing her fake hair, doing a half twirl, then standing there looking like a stunned mullet and a stupid twit, thinking that she owns the place. Cringe, cringe, Cringe!



View attachment 2342142

There’s something off about the way the hair on her right shoulder moves. She drags it over her shoulder, swivels her body to the left at the bottom of the stairs, and then her hair falls away from her shoulder in the oddest way. Her extensions look like they’re matting together maybe.
I too have been on a hair jounrey for almost a year, lightening my hair back to blonde after experimenting with a dark chocolate brown. It was so damaged after the last visit that I’ve gone the chop and removed all the real damage, despite my desire to grow my hair. My hairdresser said, “It’ll be long but it’s never going to look healthy while you have that damage.” And I thought to myself, “That’s just what the Tattle fam have been telling Lydia for years!” It’s so true. I miss my long hair but it’s so much healthier.
Lydia really needs to let it go, chop it off and start from scratch. The temporary pain is worth the long term gain.

 

[Miscanthus]

Yes you do, no Carrie too, so not so clique-y. Just her..trying..to..fit..in.

Yikes, 30 seconds in and she's cackling and showing her tonsils in the background..,ugh. She doesn't fit in at all, just the way she's dressed makes her stand out!

 

[Por Que?]

Noticed Molly Mae has a very similar if not the same engagement ring as Tamara, Lydiot "I want one" Millen-moron will be Everjealous View attachment 2344824View attachment 2344825View attachment 2344826

Why is that pretty lady smooching Hagrid?