I am 55.
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What is it when men and their family? My husband goes to his mother's every bloody night without fail. I don't think they ever grow upI was on maternity leave but it's over now and I'm on furlough until I go back in two weeks time! In my spare time I tattlethe evenings are nice when my bf is home, I spend time with him. When he's off it is rare and he'd rather go and spend time with his family than spend time the 3 of us
Have any of you with children tried peanut? It’s like tinder but for finding friends/play dates.
I downloaded it lastnight and was surprised how many people in my area was on it. I’m probably not brave enough to arrange a meet up with any of them but maybe it could help some of you?
I downloaded it lastnight and was surprised how many people in my area was on it. I’m probably not brave enough to arrange a meet up with any of them
but maybe it could help some of you?My impression is that in order to feel "connected" and to "belong" it is important to find people that make you feel this way - as opposed to people that make you feel even more lonely when in their company.
In my experience this is the case when I meet likeminded people, people that share my values and (to a lesser extend) interests.
I also recall times that I spent with people that were very different to me and I felt worse then being at home alone.
(I remember one evening at a bar with two friends, both were exchanging date experiences, being really superficial and negative about their dating experience and I couldn't really contribute anything that would have interested them. I finished my cocktail and then went home to read my book in my pyjamas and this was much nicer than sitting in a bar with them, either listening to their stories that I didn't enjoy, unsuccessfully trying to change the topic or trying to join into the conversation that I was not intersted in)
I don't think loneliness is related to being alone only, it is more a lack of connection and belonging. It is about quality not quantity, finding friends that are right for you, that make you feel like you belong and that you are connected to them.
In my experience this is the case when I meet likeminded people, people that share my values and (to a lesser extend) interests.
I also recall times that I spent with people that were very different to me and I felt worse then being at home alone.
(I remember one evening at a bar with two friends, both were exchanging date experiences, being really superficial and negative about their dating experience and I couldn't really contribute anything that would have interested them. I finished my cocktail and then went home to read my book in my pyjamas and this was much nicer than sitting in a bar with them, either listening to their stories that I didn't enjoy, unsuccessfully trying to change the topic or trying to join into the conversation that I was not intersted in)
I don't think loneliness is related to being alone only, it is more a lack of connection and belonging. It is about quality not quantity, finding friends that are right for you, that make you feel like you belong and that you are connected to them.
I don’t know how you do it, must be so difficult not having someone in the house with you to watch the kid/kids while you go shopping or something. Credit to you
Ahh thanks, this last year has been intenseI don’t know how you do it, must be so difficult not having someone in the house with you to watch the kid/kids while you go shopping or something. Credit to you
I’ve read through this thread and I think it’s a really lively place to be, and to share.
I’m in my late 40s and have a husband with a disability. Whilst that doesn’t limit our life, I’m very alone and currently feeling pretty rubbish.
He needs 24/7 care and for various reasons, I am currently his sole carer. We are in an incredibly lucky position that we usually have someone in to help me about 5 mornings a week, but that person is on long term sick leave and (long story short) we can’t get a short term replacement.
His care needs are complex and unpredictable and so I’m his person 24/7.
I love him to the ends of the earth but it can sometimes be a lonely place to be. I miss my fiends so much, and because of shielding him, we’ve not seen many folk for a bloody long time.
I usually lurk and post indignation on hinch threads, but I would love to be able to support other peeps On here too.
I’ve never felt anything but friendship, love and support on tattle... no trolling, just an exchange of views!
Sorry if I sound whingey, I don’t mean to be. I understand how tough things can be when you’re alone or dealing with so much that it seems that there is no one to support you.
big hugs to everyone that needs them. Here for chats and some mutual support to anyone that needs it xxx
I really feel for you mums who are on your own, I can’t imagine how hard that is and I send you my very best hugs for you and the little ones In your life xxx
I’m in my late 40s and have a husband with a disability. Whilst that doesn’t limit our life, I’m very alone and currently feeling pretty rubbish.
He needs 24/7 care and for various reasons, I am currently his sole carer. We are in an incredibly lucky position that we usually have someone in to help me about 5 mornings a week, but that person is on long term sick leave and (long story short) we can’t get a short term replacement.
His care needs are complex and unpredictable and so I’m his person 24/7.
I love him to the ends of the earth but it can sometimes be a lonely place to be. I miss my fiends so much, and because of shielding him, we’ve not seen many folk for a bloody long time.
I usually lurk and post indignation on hinch threads, but I would love to be able to support other peeps On here too.
I’ve never felt anything but friendship, love and support on tattle... no trolling, just an exchange of views!
Sorry if I sound whingey, I don’t mean to be. I understand how tough things can be when you’re alone or dealing with so much that it seems that there is no one to support you.
big hugs to everyone that needs them. Here for chats and some mutual support to anyone that needs it xxx
I really feel for you mums who are on your own, I can’t imagine how hard that is and I send you my very best hugs for you and the little ones In your life xxx
I’m a carer out in the community doing home visits and I’ve seen many people in your situation so I can fully understand how difficult it must be for you, I always think to myself I’m only in the call helping for half hour then I go, but that’s their life 24/7, dedicating their life caring for their partners, I can see how lonely and draining that must be for you. You’re doing amazing
I had to overcome my social anxiety.
I realise that I don't need to be afraid to say whatever I want to say, really had to fake it for a long time and now I'm really confident.
I just have a hard time meeting anyone new. It's super hard to make friends as an adult.
Don't sound whingey at all, in fact I admire how positive you come across given the situation. Hope you are able to see some friends this summer, although the bloody weather doesn't help!
Sending lots of love xxx
Omg same a message function would be good.Yes I tried Bumble BFF but find they're either 19/20 and at the city uni or they're older than me (which I obviously don't mind) but they're at different stages of their life with children and don't have the same interests. I want to be out having brunches and day drinking before I'm settling down with children and I find I'm just wasting so much time sat at home.
Wish there was a message function so we could at least be penpals through this tit time
Shame you're not in my area, everyone seems to want to day drink here haha but it's just hard making that initial connection with someone new.
I feel I'm wasting my time too, like we should be having a good time in our 20's.
I know what you mean, it's just so hard to meet people organically but resorting to apps the conversations seem so forced!
Oh @fruitcake_1 reading your posts is like reading my own mind /situation. I wish there was a message function so we could chat! I literally could not relate to you any more. Sending loveI seem to be fine with people I’m comfortable with but I’ve been known to back out of meeting my partners friends and g/f’s on several occasions out of nerves but finally plucked up the courage last weekend. I’m the only one without children though so they all had that in common whereas I didn’t.
I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety for several years now and not even counselling or medication helped
I don’t know if that’s stemmed from feeling rejected from old friendships like I mentioned in my previous post, who knows
The fact I have no-one was amplified when my partner proposed to me and we started talking about a wedding and I asked if he wouldn’t mind eloping just us two so it wouldn’t be glaringly obvious that I have no friends in pictures etc. Luckily he wanted the same as he doesn’t like the fuss!
I don’t really have any hobbies, i’m stuck in an endless cycle
I’m so glad I came across tattle though, it’s nice to see there are like-minded people out there and I’m not alone
Yes, it really does, I also find myself swiping based on appearance as you would with a dating app and that is so shallow and not what making friends should be about. Hopefully, we'll both find someone to share our time with. I know how tough it is.
I am 31 and basically spend all my time with my partner and our cat or my family/his family. Growing up I was always very sociable and outgoing, going on girls holidays in my 20's, having parties and going to parties every other weekend. Only ever really had a few ''bestfriends'' and then a larger friendship group. As I got older I started to get bored of the drama, I started to grow up and I would rather just keep myself to myself and maybe see the one of two closer friends I have every now and again. I do get lonely but then I also enjoy my own company too because I have quite bad anxiety and always feel a bit insecure. Like I struggle sometimes to look people in the eye when talking or I worry I am going to mess my sentence up when talking, most of the time I needed a drink to relax and feel comfortable but then I ended up drunk. I wish I was so much more confident. I miss having a 'Bestfriend' that I talk to everyday about girlie things, and I miss boozy lunches but then I think about it and I am also really happy with my life, My boyfriend is my best friend and we have so much fun together, We have travelled the world and set up home together with our wee kitten, we enjoy spending time with our families. Even if sometimes I do feel a bit lonely, I know I would choose my life now to how it was in my twenties. Wish I had a girl mate though that I was close with though but I do have my sisters and mum and thats even better in my eyes.
Hi guys, sorry don't want to look like an attention seeking whinger but I didn't have anywhere else to turn.. I posted on here the other day about feeling really lonely as I've just moved almost 2 hours away to live with my boyfriend and didn't have any friends and was struggling to get a job whereas my partner works full time and has a really nice group of friends. Anyway, we had a bit of a drunken row the other night and ended up saying some nasty stuff and splitting up. I went back to 'our home' and thought it'll be okay in the morning etc but he didn't come back and won't respond to me at all and all he has said is that he wants me to move out because its over. Obviously I'm absolutely gutted and so hurt by the lack he care, I'm pouring my heart out just to be ignored or laughed at, just embarrassing really. We've only been together just under a year and this was our first big argument but I'm just speechless to find out I genuinely mean so little to him that he won't even come home or answer me. During this argument he admitted he's been on dating apps this whole time too. I'm stuck here until Monday as nobody can come and get me until then (I don't drive). I genuinely just feel the lowest I've ever been and I'm completely alone with nobody to really confide in, I've reached out to the few friends I've got and as nice as they've all been I just feel irritating going on and on about it. Anyway.. sorry to be soppy bollocks, I'm trying to pass time with crappy tv and tattle threads until it hurts a little bit less. I can't settle, I just feel completely restless and can't even sleep waiting for a reply, for him to come home, wondering what he's doing. I just feel embarrassed, I really thought he was the one and I gave my whole life up for him just to be back at the beginning moving back into my parents house at my age... thanks for the laughs anyway and this platform where I can post this without feeling judged or embarrassed... lots of love xx
Im so sorry your going through this! Thinking of you and roll on Monday when you can get your life back and find yourself again. He sounds like a head and one day you’ll feel a sense of relief that it all came out now rather than years down the line
xxxxxx
I am so sorry you have had all this going on x I absolutely feel for you
and please don't feel embarrassed. It was brave and courageous of you to reach out x all I can say is as much as you are hurting, better this has happened now because you deserve respect and happiness with someone who cares rather than be stuck with someone who don't give a rats arse x sending you all my love xxxThank you so much. I'm dreading having to go back to my parents house but I do hope I'll get that relief once I'm there.. Very true xxxx