I struggle with loneliness too. I turn 30 in May. Don’t know how to celebrate. Barely have any friends to celebrate with! Don’t know how to form friends or deepen the friendships that I do have. Quite depressing really!
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I feel so disconnected to a lot of people in my life, the friends i do have i see twice or three times a year, I'm always the one that organises and I feel like they use every excuse to cancel or they only come along if it is easy for them or there is something in it for them. I always change and cancel my plans for them and make plans to suit them, and one friend is always extremely late.and just doesnt seem bothered about spending time with me.
I too often wonder if something happened to me, how long would it take others to realise.
I go to my local gym and classes but it doesn't really have the atmosphere to build friendships
I miss having that one special friend that pushes you, looks out for you and supports you and vice versa!
I too often wonder if something happened to me, how long would it take others to realise.
I go to my local gym and classes but it doesn't really have the atmosphere to build friendships
I miss having that one special friend that pushes you, looks out for you and supports you and vice versa!
2020 is defo not going well for friendship this year work is getting me down. Unsoical hours only one day off so I've seen none of the few friends I've got and depressing things is I havent had time or energy to go anywhere so I've not text them and noone has text me no point having a phone at this rate
Its hard when your busy working so can understand not wanting to go anywhere but even if a friend pops round for a coffee is better then nothing. I think sometimes friends don't realise you don't always want to go out and just a coffee and a chat is nice.
I dont think you're dramatic, you sound like me! I can be a bit dramatic though lol
Have you all tried the app girl crew ? It's great !
All my mates I know from work but we all work different shifts and don't hang out much outside of work but met some of my closest friends on girl crew! Been on it 2 years
All my mates I know from work but we all work different shifts and don't hang out much outside of work but met some of my closest friends on girl crew! Been on it 2 years
what is it?
i downloaded and made an account on meetup a while back but I’m too socially awkward to ever go to anything. And these days I just don’t really have the time either but I do now have some kid-free days as I’m not with my partner anymore. I want to try and do something for myself with those days.
I can relate to so many of these posts.
It's weird, I've always been a bit of a loner. I like to observe and think, read and walk alone. I like my own company. But I do wish I had more friends and have had real moments of loneliness in the last few years.
My best friends have passed away (one from illness, two from suicide) and while they have left a real void and a need for more friends/support, the experience of losing them has somehow made me even more guarded and unable to connect with other people.
I can't do small talk at all. I watch groups of women meet for their daily coffee, and they're talking and laughing effortlessly, and I sit there watching in awe because I cannot do that. I don't know how to do that. I never developed that skill for whatever reason.
The best I can manage is quick chat with baristas and SAs in stores, or the nurses when I go in for medical appointments, but I can't take any conversation deeper than that. I'm always told that I'm very open and friendly, but that's superficial. I'm utterly sucky at the actual 'building a relationship with other people' and 'getting through longer social interactions' part.
Now in my mid-30s and thinking I have a very lonely life ahead of me. Quite sad when I think about it.
It's weird, I've always been a bit of a loner. I like to observe and think, read and walk alone. I like my own company. But I do wish I had more friends and have had real moments of loneliness in the last few years.
My best friends have passed away (one from illness, two from suicide) and while they have left a real void and a need for more friends/support, the experience of losing them has somehow made me even more guarded and unable to connect with other people.
I can't do small talk at all. I watch groups of women meet for their daily coffee, and they're talking and laughing effortlessly, and I sit there watching in awe because I cannot do that. I don't know how to do that. I never developed that skill for whatever reason.
The best I can manage is quick chat with baristas and SAs in stores, or the nurses when I go in for medical appointments, but I can't take any conversation deeper than that. I'm always told that I'm very open and friendly, but that's superficial. I'm utterly sucky at the actual 'building a relationship with other people' and 'getting through longer social interactions' part.
Now in my mid-30s and thinking I have a very lonely life ahead of me. Quite sad when I think about it.
Well if you give that impression you must be doing something right
x I get I'm either too quite or speak too much xI 100% feel like since getting older I've held on to less and less friends, I have a small circle of friends who I adore. But we are all in completely different stages of life and whilst it's exciting to live through each others experiences sometimes it's hard to talk to them about things because they don't understand. I am getting married this year and my fiance is in America for 8 months and I feel like I can't talk to them about when I'm struggling because they always sow how lucky I am and how excited they are for the wedding so I always feel I have to pretend everything is great. I know they would be there for me, but I also think I'm too proud to admit when I'm struggling because I'm the one who 'supposedly' has their life together.
Sorry this was a bit of a rant but the summary is I feel lonely too and struggle to make new friends that I can relate to! I am not sure if this is appropriate or not but if anyone wants to add each other on Instagram or something or maybe we could make a group chat... I don't know but seems like the diversity of the people in this thread would be a good mix to talk to!
Sorry this was a bit of a rant but the summary is I feel lonely too and struggle to make new friends that I can relate to! I am not sure if this is appropriate or not but if anyone wants to add each other on Instagram or something or maybe we could make a group chat... I don't know but seems like the diversity of the people in this thread would be a good mix to talk to!
hey download girl crew! it was started by 4 irish girls and its like a meetup app but just women!
Omg are you me? I am not into drinking and as a teen I never went out, I am 28 now and content with that. Have always been fairly quiet too. But at school, people would call me arrogant and a snob...but in reality, it's just that I wasn't loud and obnoxious like them. We moved to a new country, where my fiance is originally from. He had friends and I didn't and it has been hard. Also we are deciding whether to have a wedding here or elope. One of the things that bothers me is the hen night aspect... I don't have as many friends here so I don't even want to have one and it's too expensive to fly home.
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I hated my hen do and wish I hadn’t bothered. It was forced fun with cousins and aunts and I was so anxious about it.
Do what makes you happy. Even if that’s booking yourself into something you enjoy xx
I get everything you have all said. I’ve never been a popular person, even at school i was used. Left to go to college hopin id make some friends I did but the course wasn’t for me so quit, lost contact, years before social media. Worked full time and made a few friends even connecting with old school friends. But didn’t really socialise. Meet my husband online and spent 2 years going back n forth to see him. Eventually moved up to the midlands from Essex in our first flat. I had to stop working as I became my husbands carer (he is paralysed) so didn’t get to meet new people at a new job.
it took 5 years to mingle with neighbours who now are like family but not my age. I’ve made friends with their children but they don’t live in our village and have kids, where’s we don’t. I go to Zumba once a week and do socialise with the girls. But it’s hard when I’ve got to care for my husband when is unwell.SoMe friends understand I have to cancel last minute some have stopped asking me. I’ve got a lot of online friends.
But I miss the girl nights/ days even tho I’ve never reallt done it but I’d like to.
If I see someone is having a bad time I always message them but I never get that in return. So it’s me doifb all the work. It makes me think what is wrong with me.....maybe I care to much,
my circle is small.
it took 5 years to mingle with neighbours who now are like family but not my age. I’ve made friends with their children but they don’t live in our village and have kids, where’s we don’t. I go to Zumba once a week and do socialise with the girls. But it’s hard when I’ve got to care for my husband when is unwell.SoMe friends understand I have to cancel last minute some have stopped asking me. I’ve got a lot of online friends.
But I miss the girl nights/ days even tho I’ve never reallt done it but I’d like to.
If I see someone is having a bad time I always message them but I never get that in return. So it’s me doifb all the work. It makes me think what is wrong with me.....maybe I care to much,
my circle is small.
I am sure a lot of people think I am unapproachable too. Especially on the school run, only one mum has actively made an effort to talk to me, I’ve tried to start conversations, smile and acknowledge other mums on the school run but it’s not returned. I end up sat on my own at parties. I do think having pnd changed me quite a lot, I used to be so vivacious and outgoing and would love to be like that again. I don’t think people can see beyond my naturally miserable face!I have been told I am unapproachable too
it's because I pretty much do everything alone and just wander around in my own bubble
I'm sorry your having such a bad time , at least you have your sister to share the new baby with though that will be a godsend ?
I am exactly the same
I have a natural resting witch face, it has done me no favours over the years and I hate it, so much so I feel I have to force a smile. Having depression and anxiety is probably my biggest hang up when it comes to making friends. I want them, I’m just not good at going out there and meeting them, and then if I do step out of my comfort zone and make a friend, I fail to maintain the friendship because my mental health consumes me.
This describes me. People genuinely think I’m not happy to be around but I am. It’s just my face. I’ve been with my OH for years and we really want to get married but I don’t have anyone to come. It makes me cry sometimes when I realise I have no one to come pick a dress with me. I’ve never done the girl weekend away, the girly meet-up. Don’t get me wrong I love my own time, I can’t deal with needy people and always being on the phone. And it’s hard to make friends. For me anyways
I was thinking about starting a thread about friendship and loneliness and then found this and wow I can relate so much! I'm so sorry that so many people feel the same and I hope we can really discuss this and try and support eachother and make some positive changes 
I have struggled with feeling left out and lonely the past few years. I do have a couple of close friends who I speak to on WhatsApp everyday, but they don't live nearby and I think chatting over the phone is no where near the same connection as face to face. I have a great relationship with my boyfriend but I really value friendship too and urge to have a close knit group.
I had a group of friends in school who have stayed very close and I have drifted as I've travelled and relocated a lot due to work. They have all stayed in our hometown, see eachother all the time, are each other's bridesmaids and maid of honours, and although I do still see them now and again, it hurts that I'm no longer as close. It didn't help that they started to always bring their partners to events, which is fine now and again as they're all nice, but I'm an introvert and never had as much fun when they're there so a lot of the time I just bailed on going.
I feel it's been an on going thing with them since high school. I remember when MySpace brought out the "top 8" thing and I was always ranked behind everyone else. Always had that feeling like, if I'm there its fine, it isn't as if people don't want me there, but it wouldn't really matter if I wasn't there..
Also I can totally relate to the worry about having a hen party and who to have as bridesmaids. I never even have a birthday party as I get it in my head about who would bother to come. I don't want to live like this, I don't want to look back and see that I never celebrated anything.
Sorry this is so long, I've been holding this in for a while it feels so good to let it out to people who feel a similar way.
I have struggled with feeling left out and lonely the past few years. I do have a couple of close friends who I speak to on WhatsApp everyday, but they don't live nearby and I think chatting over the phone is no where near the same connection as face to face. I have a great relationship with my boyfriend but I really value friendship too and urge to have a close knit group.
I had a group of friends in school who have stayed very close and I have drifted as I've travelled and relocated a lot due to work. They have all stayed in our hometown, see eachother all the time, are each other's bridesmaids and maid of honours, and although I do still see them now and again, it hurts that I'm no longer as close. It didn't help that they started to always bring their partners to events, which is fine now and again as they're all nice, but I'm an introvert and never had as much fun when they're there so a lot of the time I just bailed on going.
I feel it's been an on going thing with them since high school. I remember when MySpace brought out the "top 8" thing and I was always ranked behind everyone else. Always had that feeling like, if I'm there its fine, it isn't as if people don't want me there, but it wouldn't really matter if I wasn't there..
Also I can totally relate to the worry about having a hen party and who to have as bridesmaids. I never even have a birthday party as I get it in my head about who would bother to come. I don't want to live like this, I don't want to look back and see that I never celebrated anything.
Sorry this is so long, I've been holding this in for a while it feels so good to let it out to people who feel a similar way.
@slugella Like a mirror image. I moved away and now don’t see anyone. That’s what this thread is for, I’m always amazed at how many people are just like me. Just generally so lonely but no way of getting out of it.