Loneliness / making friends

[Princesspinky]

Does anyone else spend a lot of time on thier own ? Find it difficult to make new friends.
I moved to this area when I was young and so I don't really have any local friends, I have a few close old friends dotted about the country. I only really have my mum , who lives 80+ miles away.
I lost my best friend a year ago (she was mentally unwell) , I so miss having someone to pour my heart out to , go on adventures with , just be there when life's gotten too much. I am on my own with my son divorce has just been finalised , I do have a boyfriend and things are going good between us but he works alot and is away (armed forces) . I work part time but I don't socialize with my colleagues.
Maybe it's January blues , but my own company is getting to me a little bit of late . All I seem to do is work , housework , spend the evings with my 7 year old , which of course I love him and the time we spend together is precious but I miss adult company.

 

[Scvee13]

I'm 31,work full time, started a new job on the 30th December. I do have colleagues from my old job I'd class as friends but never see them. I have a friend from high school who I see once every couple of months, a friend I met at uni I see every couple of months and a friend from my first job I see every couple of months. I'm used to spending lots of time on my own, I have a teenage daughter who isn't interested in hanging about with me . My husband does shift work so days off together are rare. I got a dog to keep me company

 

[Followtheyellowbrickroad]

Hi, maybe join a gym or class of some sort. I moved to a new area a few years back and don’t know many people. A lot of the people where I live all click with each other. I would love for one of the school mums to ask for Coffee !!!! I’m friendly but no one ever asks

 

[Glamourelle]

I’m 26 and I’m also the same. I have a couple of friends dotted around, and I socialise with a few girls at work but I don’t have anyone really close by to me. I struggle really hard and it hit home when I met my boyfriends (big) group of friends, they asked me if he’s met any of mine yet and I couldn’t really say yes!

 

[Princesspinky]

Hi, maybe join a gym or class of some sort. I moved to a new area a few years back and don’t know many people. A lot of the people where I live all click with each other. I would love for one of the school mums to ask for Coffee !!!! I’m friendly but no one ever asks

I don't know about a gym allthough I think kmy big bum might thank me for it , and I was considering doing a short evening course at the local uni , but my ex husband is a night worker ( he's my only help with our son) and does funny shifts but if he will agree one evening a week to look after our son it could actually happen.
Yes I am the same , my son is 7 all of the mum "friendships" are already well established and no one seems to want to stray from them. I only do the school run 2 days per week on my days off work so I guess I'm not a consistent face . But I feel the same , someone to just go and have a coffee with

I’m 26 and I’m also the same. I have a couple of friends dotted around, and I socialise with a few girls at work but I don’t have anyone really close by to me. I struggle really hard and it hit home when I met my boyfriends (big) group of friends, they asked me if he’s met any of mine yet and I couldn’t really say yes!

My boyfriend's family is huge , he's one of 4 boys and I'm so so in awe of them all . They do well to include me , bit everyone's got kids / jobs etc etc and life just gets busy sometimes.

I'm 31,work full time, started a new job on the 30th December. I do have colleagues from my old job I'd class as friends but never see them. I have a friend from high school who I see once every couple of months, a friend I met at uni I see every couple of months and a friend from my first job I see every couple of months. I'm used to spending lots of time on my own, I have a teenage daughter who isn't interested in hanging about with me . My husband does shift work so days off together are rare. I got a dog to keep me company

I dread the day my son hits his teens and doesn't want to do stuff with me anymore

 

[Cucumber and eggs]

Yes, could have wrote this myself. Since my second daughter was born I suffered from horrible pnd which has now turned into severe social anxiety. I have literally no friends apart from my husband. People assume im rude and unapproachable which couldnt be further from the truth. I just cant start/maintain conversation without my anxiety playing up. This has affected my daughters also. We dont visit mother and baby groups, the oldest doesnt see many of her friends outside of school and we spend a lot of time in the house. I wish I had friends I could meet up with for a coffee or just someone else to talk to. I wish my girls had more of a life outside of the house. I hate feeling lonely which has made my ocd terrible because I spend so much time in the house. Im expecting third baby and my sister is due a week before me. Im hoping we can go to groups/classes together and I can meet more people. I totally feel where your coming from.

 

[Princesspinky]

Yes, could have wrote this myself. Since my second daughter was born I suffered from horrible pnd which has now turned into severe social anxiety. I have literally no friends apart from my husband. People assume im rude and unapproachable which couldnt be further from the truth. I just cant start/maintain conversation without my anxiety playing up. This has affected my daughters also. We dont visit mother and baby groups, the oldest doesnt see many of her friends outside of school and we spend a lot of time in the house. I wish I had friends I could meet up with for a coffee or just someone else to talk to. I wish my girls had more of a life outside of the house. I hate feeling lonely which has made my ocd terrible because I spend so much time in the house. Im expecting third baby and my sister is due a week before me. Im hoping we can go to groups/classes together and I can meet more people. I totally feel where your coming from.

I have been told I am unapproachable too it's because I pretty much do everything alone and just wander around in my own bubble
I'm sorry your having such a bad time , at least you have your sister to share the new baby with though that will be a godsend ?

 

[Colin]

It's not a cure for social anxiety in anyway but I'd definitely recommend joining groups/classes etc. I have a naturally lonely profession (working overseas in an industry where people come and go, so, while you maybe surrounded by people, it's all very transient). I've started joining dance classes wherever I live and while I've not met best buddies there, I have met lovely people to hang out with and have some fun.

 

[Followtheyellowbrickroad]

I have been told I am unapproachable too it's because I pretty much do everything alone and just wander around in my own bubble
I'm sorry your having such a bad time , at least you have your sister to share the new baby with though that will be a godsend ?

I said to my husband I wish I had a sister as well has my brother !!!! Sisters seem to do so much together.... I also live in my own bubble... I also suffer with anxiety and OCD... I see other woman on nights out with a group of friends... or going soft play or days out... I wish that was me ....

 

[Cucumber and eggs]

I have been told I am unapproachable too it's because I pretty much do everything alone and just wander around in my own bubble
I'm sorry your having such a bad time , at least you have your sister to share the new baby with though that will be a godsend ?

Yes my family are great and all live close by. My sister is a teacher and always very busy so we rarely get time together. Just wish I had friends I could go out with or just even phone for advice etc.....

 

[Princesspinky]

I said to my husband I wish I had a sister as well has my brother !!!! Sisters seem to do so much together.... I also live in my own bubble... I also suffer with anxiety and OCD... I see other woman on nights out with a group of friends... or going soft play or days out... I wish that was me ....

I know exactly how you feel I suffer with anxiety that's got worse since my ex husband left .

Yes my family are great and all live close by. My sister is a teacher and always very busy so we rarely get time together. Just wish I had friends I could go out with or just even phone for advice etc.....

Yes exactly this just someone to have a chat with

 

[coconochanel]

We need to start a tattle meet up group.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

We need to start a tattle meet up group.

None of us would probably get on in real life

I agree it’s hard to make friends as an adult especially when you move abroad. We all have our own lives and priorities also the older I get the more I enjoy my own company and doing what I want when I want.
Saying that I wish I had just one really good friend. Somebody you can rely on and confess it.
I have a few surface friends and one friend I was fairly close to but she’s had a baby and I can feel us drifting apart as her priorities are changing.

 

[Princesspinky]

We need to start a tattle meet up group.

Like a book club for lonely people ! Brilliant idea , I expect were at opposite ends of the country though

 

[coconochanel]

Like a book club for lonely people ! Brilliant idea , I expect were at opposite ends of the country though

We need a middle meeting ground...I know we will hire out some space in Zoella's office and meet there.

 

[Noname12345]

I don't really have friends either. I'm a socially awkward introvert. I struggle in loud places, find drunk people obnoxious and boring. People think I'm arrogant, snobbish etc.

Sometimes I wish I had friends especially that my partner has a close group of friend (whom I can't stand).

 

[JellyWobbles]

Yep! I have no friends apart from my Husband and one acquaintance at the school I say hi too.
My problem is social anxiety but I also have little to none social skills, as ridiculous as that sounds I find small talk almost painful.. I’m the person that avoids going out if my neighbour is outside until they’ve gone to avoid it. I sound grumpy and deffo must seem unapproachable, it’s not that I want to be this way it’s jist how I am. One of my goals for 2020 is to ‘learn’ to socialise more, I am looking at volunteering just to get me out there and push myself x

 

[Princesspinky]

Allthough it's tit , it's kind of comforting to know I'm not the only one sat here most nights wishing I had a social life

We need a middle meeting ground...I know we will hire out some space in Zoella's office and meet there.

I'm up for it if everyone else is

 

[Noname12345]

Yep! I have no friends apart from my Husband and one acquaintance at the school I say hi too.
My problem is social anxiety but I also have little to none social skills, as ridiculous as that sounds I find small talk almost painful.. I’m the person that avoids going out if my neighbour is outside until they’ve gone to avoid it. I sound grumpy and deffo must seem unapproachable, it’s not that I want to be this way it’s jist how I am. One of my goals for 2020 is to ‘learn’ to socialise more, I am looking at volunteering just to get me out there and push myself x

I find small talk so boring and unnecessary

 

[Mrs Cucumber]

My best mate in my daughter's best friends dad! The girls have been friends since preschool, so me and him have ended up spending nearly every day together for the last 2 years, we are both happily married and our spouses get on really well too and we will often go out as a foursome.

I'm based in Hampshire if anyone else is and ever wants to meet for a cuppa, I have 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter