Liz Jones #5 The podcast's an unmitigated disaster, about time the Diary was put out to pasture

[TheStrawberryThief]

'@How's the pelvic floor holding up' What a Grade A1 misgynist scuzz-bucket pick-me she is. Hateful.

How does that old saying go...

People who had accidentally pooped their pants in a restaurant shouldn't throw stones?

This comes across as if she sees a wedding as a way to aquire stuff first and everything else second.

Again she is being so rude about poor David and his mobility issues. She almost seems embarrassed that will need assistance if taking a flight.

 

[House of Tea]

She is just a professional troll. Nobody can be that full of bile.

 

[WickedThread]

The eejit that doesn’t have any friends, family or a pot to piss in wants a bleeping Spitfire fly-by? For whom to watch, exactly? The terrified “quintessential“ woodpigeons?

Now excuse me while I Google how to ”divert” a plane from Cuba to Kerala.

 

[Shinealight]

Dreary. The wedding plans take shape: she intends to use it as a way to furnish the annexe...

Ugh, she’s bleeping toxic

 

[shushablay]

god how long will this crap go on for, until we finally get the In Which The Wedding is cancelled. I still don't believe she's even talking to David let alone marrying him. Moaning about him needing assistance at the airport, yet last week she was expecting him to heave heavy boxes and re-decorate the annexe, she's a moron.

 

[sunshine13]

This is just an attempt to sow the seeds for further drearies. We'll be subject to "Why can't people give me what I deserve" when she doesn't receive the over-priced designer label stuff on her Wedding List - that'll also have a paragraph about all the high end rubbish she has given to undeserving relatives and friends; then the trouble of getting a venue which will accept incontinent pets, her stress at David needing a ground floor room (how on earth will he manage those concrete stairs in the annexe?); then there's the venue for the honeymoon (ditto re: pets and stairs); then her dress, her evening do outfit, David's outfit (his comfort versus her idea of 'suitable' attire for him) .... all that, then as someone said upthread - The Cancellation.

Does anyone know if she's actually signed the contract for the vicarage outhouse?

Oh and there's got to be a "Why does no-one want to come to my Wedding?" dreary of course.

 

[Cowpat]

I have noticed that since you need to pay to read M+ stories, they have had Liz churning out articles, I believe in the hope of getting people to sign up to read and rant at her dross. I also would love to know if David is a willing participant and actually knows he is supposedly getting married.

 

[Mediastar]

I have noticed that since you need to pay to read M+ stories, they have had Liz churning out articles, I believe in the hope of getting people to sign up to read and rant at her dross. I also would love to know if David is a willing participant and actually knows he is supposedly getting married.

I would be astonished.

 

[Donnavanessa]

This is just an attempt to sow the seeds for further drearies. We'll be subject to "Why can't people give me what I deserve" when she doesn't receive the over-priced designer label stuff on her Wedding List - that'll also have a paragraph about all the high end rubbish she has given to undeserving relatives and friends; then the trouble of getting a venue which will accept incontinent pets, her stress at David needing a ground floor room (how on earth will he manage those concrete stairs in the annexe?); then there's the venue for the honeymoon (ditto re: pets and stairs); then her dress, her evening do outfit, David's outfit (his comfort versus her idea of 'suitable' attire for him) .... all that, then as someone said upthread - The Cancellation.

Does anyone know if she's actually signed the contract for the vicarage outhouse?

Oh and there's got to be a "Why does no-one want to come to my Wedding?" dreary of course.

Screaming at ‘the vicarage outhouse’ it has actually made my day!

 

[Mediastar]

Dreary. Actually hilarious, though presumably not on purpose.
Annexe is now the size of Chatsworth. "Are the Georgian double doors in the room now?". See if you can spot them in this clip: . There appear to be some shonky 70's patio doors opening on to the dogs lavvy? I am now 100% sure the "wedding" is a fantasy as she is cueing up a series of reasons why he will call it off. She's completed on the annexe and deffo needs Dscrace's dosh to do the place up, but the chances of him swapping The Smoke for Gainford are zero, though the "nurse for purse" trope would be a strong play, and those steps do look slippery! Nope, Juggo has started to back-pedal already.
Still, looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Enjoy!

 

[sunshine13]

From "let the idea of marriage lie dormant" to "like mounting a dead horse" ... it's just so obvious that her "idea of marriage" is to talk/write about it in the hope of getting £££s (through the MoS and David) to fund her purchase of the outhouse (my dad once had an outhouse for his garden stuff which had double doors). As others have said before, "Run David run." Or maybe you already have and this is the lead-up to that ...

 

[The Tipsy Titian]

The double Georgian door in the annexe.
Can't wait till she's moved in and experiences her first wedding/funeral at the church next door. All those common people milling round 'her garden' (the churchyard) and parking their cars in HER parking space
ETA she's not getting married poor David knows bugger all about it, doubt he's even in contact with her

 

[Miss Lola]

I just hope to god that this is all fiction…WTF would David even be contemplating marrying her after the numerous times she’s humiliated him in print? Surely he read that dreadful extract about the novel (that thankfully never came to pass) loosely based on him and his ex?
If it is true, then his family and friends need to intervene. He could be in the early stages of dementia.

 

[Shinealight]

Dreary. Actually hilarious, though presumably not on purpose.
Annexe is now the size of Chatsworth. "Are the Georgian double doors in the room now?". See if you can spot them in this clip: . There appear to be some shonky 70's patio doors opening on to the dogs lavvy? I am now 100% sure the "wedding" is a fantasy as she is cueing up a series of reasons why he will call it off. She's completed on the annexe and deffo needs Dscrace's dosh to do the place up, but the chances of him swapping The Smoke for Gainford are zero, though the "nurse for purse" trope would be a strong play, and those steps do look slippery! Nope, Juggo has started to back-pedal already.
Still, looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Enjoy!

She’s horrendous, and why are her dogs so vicious towards cats?
I’ve been around cats and dogs all my life with relatively few problems, and certainly none that result in bloodshed!
The annexe looks cold and soulless, so perfect for her I suppose.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

It probably is all fiction to be honest. She’d been breadcrumbing a wedding storyline for a while, talking about how she could propose since it was a leap year. And now she’s, yeah, lining up reasons why it would go south/he would back out

 

[Miss Lola]

She’s also got an article in the Mail today saying that she feels sorry for Prince Andrew after having watched SCOOP.
bleeping hell love…read the room

 

[dee_mc]

That house is not suited to her at all. The stairs are a deathtrap. Only Liz would look at that room and go "ooh Georgian double doors" and not "oh tit: if that's where the fridge is, how small is the kitchen?". She claims poverty then goes ahead and buys a house that needs money spent on it. If she falls down those stone stairs she'll break a hip, and that's if she's lucky.
It's a character property and would be a great project for the right person but not for tasteless, clueless Liz Brand Name Jones - I know she's thick but this move is beyond stupid.
Does it even have a downstairs bedroom for her, ahem, betrothed to use (or am I misremembering a mobility issue?). I know he won't come next or near the place but surely that would've crossed her warped mind when concocting the story!

 

[Mediastar]

That house is not suited to her at all. The stairs are a deathtrap. Only Liz would look at that room and go "ooh Georgian double doors" and not "oh tit: if that's where the fridge is, how small is the kitchen?". She claims poverty then goes ahead and buys a house that needs money spent on it. If she falls down those stone stairs she'll break a hip, and that's if she's lucky.
It's a character property and would be a great project for the right person but not for tasteless, clueless Liz Brand Name Jones - I know she's thick but this move is beyond stupid.
Does it even have a downstairs bedroom for her, ahem, betrothed to use (or am I misremembering a mobility issue?). I know he won't come next or near the place but surely that would've crossed her warped mind when concocting the story!

You are accrediting her with occasional sobriety? If she was sober enough to read some of the tit she's spouted over the past month, she'd hang herself.

 

[Miss Lola]

Has Nic fallen out with Liz? I had a feeling that was previously mentioned, but not sure.

 

[House of Tea]

That house is not a good buy for a couple in advancing years and declining health. The stairs look lethal. It also looks cold. It isn’t the vicarage however much she calls it that. It is The Annexe. She can have a capital A to make it seem more important but she can’t talk it up more than that.

The way she talks about David is grim. I think when they are having sex David always asks for a blindfold- not because he is kinky but so he can’t see his cowgirl reversed or facing the front.

She is writing more articles for the DM, behind their paywall. I assume she is getting more money for that.