The Tipsy Titian
VIP Member
May I just refresh your memory........ the dogs pissoir
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"The bigger house next door".......
Yes love, that'll be the Vicarage.
As opposed to the annexe.....
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"The bigger house next door".......
Yes love, that'll be the Vicarage.
As opposed to the annexe.....
itsjustsomoving
Member
She’s not a war correspondent
She writes a weekly column detailing how she waxes her muff and shits in restaurants
She writes a weekly column detailing how she waxes her muff and shits in restaurants
TheStrawberryThief
Active member
I hate when people use raped to mean someone other than actually does. It is in such poor taste.
I was always under the assumption that part of the buying process was discussing what would be left in the house or taken away. I am suprised that something being removed is a suprise, unless it was specifically agreed it would stay.
She us such a cow about complimentary gifts nor being to her standard. Next time the agent should spit on her eye and send her on her merry way.
I was always under the assumption that part of the buying process was discussing what would be left in the house or taken away. I am suprised that something being removed is a suprise, unless it was specifically agreed it would stay.
She us such a cow about complimentary gifts nor being to her standard. Next time the agent should spit on her eye and send her on her merry way.
Belgian Bun
Chatty Member
I strongly doubt the existence of David 2.0. I mean, he probably exists but I doubt he is still in touch with her. How can she look at her flyblown witchy old face and still think she is CATNIP?
MavisBeacon
VIP Member
Times like this I really do hope she's playing a character for effect, otherwise she is a monstrous cunt
Tittykitty
Chatty Member
A Yorkshire-stone-flagged walled garden is known as a back yard in the Gainford area
ClockworkDolly
VIP Member
She was never going to marry David. All a lie just for column inches, much like some of the other drivel she comes out with. I read her column each week, as it is so ludicrous. David has dodged a bullet with that one. Who the **** would want to shag that bag of bones? Each time she mentions about her having had sex it turns my stomach. Every man should avoid this woman, just reading her column alone would be enough to put most of them off. I often wonder what ever happened to Nigel from Dorset. He responded every week in the MoS comments section. 
Hope he saw the light.
Hope he saw the light.
Daisy Uncle
Chatty Member
It looks like what it is, servants quarters. Guarantee she'll be moaning about the church and parishioners, and people telling her not to let her dogs shit on, or dig up graves.
shushablay
Chatty Member
and another moan about things being taken by the seller. either she's failed to realise that she agreed to that or she's lying again. I once bought a house where the sellers were leaving, carpets, curtains/blinds fittings and fixtures, but the one thing they were taking was the bathroom cabinet as it was special to them, tbh it was a rather unremarkable cabinet, and the bathroom had a huge mirror over a set of vanity units, so wasn't really needed anyway. When I moved in, all the other stuff was there except the bathroom cabinet and the seller had even painted the wall where the cabinet was.
As for her incredibly rude remarks about the gift from the estate agent, I hope that bites her on the ass, I see the top comments in the DM are absolutely slating her for that.
As for her incredibly rude remarks about the gift from the estate agent, I hope that bites her on the ass, I see the top comments in the DM are absolutely slating her for that.
Her original "romance" (10 years ago? 12?) was engineered by her via a column about her 2 ½ "exes" and why they hadn't been in touch.
Scrace, the poor sap, fell for it and Juggo started her traditional MO: love-bombing whilst making sure he was alienating his friends and colleagues. She caused his business to fail and he was diminished to the extent that he would routinely burst into tears.
Once he was reduced to a patsy, she was done with him, but karma bit her on the arse by bankrupting her at more or less the same time.
So, there was a weird period when she rented and was evicted from a flat in Camden, fetched up somewhere else and then installed Bebb in a ghastly shack in the middle of nowhere and took up the rental at Easby.
There was all sorts of shit about the Fake Rock Star, the heir to the retail fortune (remember him? Drove a Ferrari and publicly outed her as batshit)... all engineered again to get a rise out of Scrase and it all failed.
The 'proposal' was the last throw of the dice and, when he didn't bite this time, she had to bail tooty sweety!
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She has bought the annexe, I suspect with a huge deposit (the land in Somerset) and a v small mortgage. She's churning out dross on Mail+ two or three times a week to pay the bank. I wonder if she's putting anything aside for her tax bill?!
She is very ordinary... but she thinks she is extraordinary. She has no negative feelings about her body... she positively adores having her picture all over her articles. When she had the DM fashion gig, she was falling into the dressing-up box all the time! She thinks she's da bomb and cannot reconcile this with her *coughs* 'lifestyle'. She loathes independent women who have lovely lives because, in JonesWorld, she deserves everything, all the time!
Nothing will change when she moves into the annexe: what goes around comes around. She will earn the disdain of her neighbours and will increasingly slag them off, whilst moaning that her dogs are entitled to shit in the churchyard. I could write the next three years' columns myself!
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Dreary. Meh.
Nothing will change when she moves into the annexe: what goes around comes around. She will earn the disdain of her neighbours and will increasingly slag them off, whilst moaning that her dogs are entitled to shit in the churchyard. I could write the next three years' columns myself!
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Dreary. Meh.
Attachments
I think we have to step back back and look at what's really going on here.
Juggo's got her annexe. True.
She's fucked up the plodcast (despite Bebb doing most of the heavy lifting). True.
She and Bebb have fallen out. True.
Now... I have a strong suspicion that she and Dscrace went their separate ways at least a couple of years ago, and everything she's written since has been an attempt to goad him into a response. Any response. So she can churn out the usual dross. *But* I don't think he's responded to any of it. I suspect his real friends have circled the waggons around him.
She has no family that will speak to her under any circumstances.
Despite her acquisition of the annexe, she is making absolutely no plans as to what she will do with it (bearing in mind it is a pretty blank canvas). This is not normal. Normal would be "I fancy this kitchen, I'm looking at these colours, I can't wait to be able to bang a nail in the wall and hang a picture {very much front of mind for ex-renters), I can't wait to fill planters in the courtyard" etc etc. So, we can surmise she has no spare cash.
We know there is a community herb garden RIGHT OUTSIDE HER FUCKING WINDOW but she hasn't mentioned it once!
We also know that, outside the odd freebie, she has absolutely no life. No friends. No real hobbies, passions, pass times.
We do know she drinks and binge-watches shit on the telly.
We do know she has delusions of attractiveness.
We do know she's a pensioner.
So: when her Editor says "So, what have we got to look forward to over the next few months then?" she must crap herself.
All she has to fall back on is her weird post-Jackie obsession with "having sex". It's clear she is emotionally stunted, she doesn't like men particularly and has no interest in developing what we would call a 'relationship'.
I suspect she's playing for time until she moves in, at which point it will be a bog-standard Juggo rinse 'n' repeat: all the neighbour's hate me, the shop doesn't stock Illy coffee, why are people staring through my windows until she finally gets the chop.
Juggo's got her annexe. True.
She's fucked up the plodcast (despite Bebb doing most of the heavy lifting). True.
She and Bebb have fallen out. True.
Now... I have a strong suspicion that she and Dscrace went their separate ways at least a couple of years ago, and everything she's written since has been an attempt to goad him into a response. Any response. So she can churn out the usual dross. *But* I don't think he's responded to any of it. I suspect his real friends have circled the waggons around him.
She has no family that will speak to her under any circumstances.
Despite her acquisition of the annexe, she is making absolutely no plans as to what she will do with it (bearing in mind it is a pretty blank canvas). This is not normal. Normal would be "I fancy this kitchen, I'm looking at these colours, I can't wait to be able to bang a nail in the wall and hang a picture {very much front of mind for ex-renters), I can't wait to fill planters in the courtyard" etc etc. So, we can surmise she has no spare cash.
We know there is a community herb garden RIGHT OUTSIDE HER FUCKING WINDOW but she hasn't mentioned it once!
We also know that, outside the odd freebie, she has absolutely no life. No friends. No real hobbies, passions, pass times.
We do know she drinks and binge-watches shit on the telly.
We do know she has delusions of attractiveness.
We do know she's a pensioner.
So: when her Editor says "So, what have we got to look forward to over the next few months then?" she must crap herself.
All she has to fall back on is her weird post-Jackie obsession with "having sex". It's clear she is emotionally stunted, she doesn't like men particularly and has no interest in developing what we would call a 'relationship'.
I suspect she's playing for time until she moves in, at which point it will be a bog-standard Juggo rinse 'n' repeat: all the neighbour's hate me, the shop doesn't stock Illy coffee, why are people staring through my windows until she finally gets the chop.
The Tipsy Titian
VIP Member
I'm slightly older than her and I can't imagine why a woman of that age would want to live with those stone stairs. One slip on there (sober, let alone well refreshed) and you'd be done for. And that's without dogs pissing all over them and leaving puddles!
They're not even nice looking stairs, they belong in an old fashioned public toilet.
They're not even nice looking stairs, they belong in an old fashioned public toilet.
witchofwestbyfleet
VIP Member
Winning thread title by @Miss Lola!
Recap:
Recap:
- Liz's sister Lyn, horse Benji, and incontinent collie Gracie have all passed away. Liz wrote a totally sensitive and appropriate tribute to Lyn like she did with their other sister whose funeral she was banned from.
- She also wrote a sycophantic article expressing exaggerated concern for Princess Kate after her surgery
- Some idiot has given her a mortgage and she's moving into her dream vicarage (read: annexe)
- She and David are back on, or so she says, however she continues to bitch and moan that his poor health and advanced age are an inconvenience to her.
- The plodcast has been canned. We suspect it was to do with whatever she didn't get to say about Nirps because the lawyers had to get involved
- The Dreary limps on, still full of copy paste "text messages" and such fascinating subject matter as her and David arguing over a stairlift
- Nic han't been on social media in weeks and is only referred to in passing. We're hoping this is because she has finally told Liz to do one rather than her health worsening
Belgian Bun
Chatty Member
She puts the cunt in countryside. I hope David is all right. He seems pretty vulnerable.
Shinealight
VIP Member
He can’t move in with her until his cat dies!
What’s the betting as soon as the poor feline breathes its last he’ll be getting another near identical cat to replace it and claiming that it’s the same one?
sunshine13
Member
Listen Liz, listen very carefully (notice how kind I am being to you knowing that you are PROFOUNDLY DEAF) IT IS NOT A VICARAGE. IT IS THE SERVANTS' QUARTERS NEXT DOOR!!!!!! The next lesson will be to understand is that YOU HAVE A BACKYARD. You will be able to have one of those whirly washing lines to hang up your myla thong.
You should also bear in mind that some local people may object to your incontinent animals shitting on the gravestones. Show some respect ffs.
You should also bear in mind that some local people may object to your incontinent animals shitting on the gravestones. Show some respect ffs.
