Good god @witchofwestbyfleet you really do take one for the team!Oh, mercy, it's the Plodcast! Cut for length
Nic has recovered from COVID. Liz triumphantly says "seeeeee, being vaccinated didn't stop you getting it!" No, but it might have contributed to Nic being back with you today and not in a hospital or a mortuary. Liz talks about the death of the fashion photographer Patrick Demarchelier, referencing The Devil Wears Prada and SATC which are the only lenses through which she can view anything. She laments that he "wasn't that old", well he was 78 which is about average life expectancy for a man? She tells a story about working with Demarchelier on a photoshoot with Geri Halliwell, who she describes as a diva.
They talk about older models getting hired, Liz of course is sneering about young models. Nirps wrote about Liz in the Mail, it's a response to her saying she faked orgasms. They decide to read it out. Liz calls him a "monosyllabic lump" and her a "goddess." Nirpal basically said he enjoyed sex and he expected Liz, as the older one, to be more experienced and know what to do. Liz accuses him of making fun of her age, we're like 15 minutes in and all she has done is demonstrate that she is incredibly sensitive about her age. Nirpal also stated that she took advantage of him, and called her a "vacuous 40-something fashionista." Liz says that as editor of Marie Claire she covered stories like cancer, animal abuse, orphans, and foot binding. One of these things is not like the others.
Nic keeps saying "but it's HIS fault, why did HE marry you?" Liz calls Nirpal lazy and talks about how she has worked 40 hours a day every day etc etc all her life. Then she sneers at how Nirpal acknowledged that she took him to an Armani party where he met Ricky Martin, and how this must be the highlight of his life cuz he's never done anything else since. Like how you constantly bring up past designer events and meeting celebrities, Liz? There's another chorus of "CHIPPY!!" and "BLOCK HIM!" Liz alleges that people who claim to be discriminated against because of racism, etc. are actually "unattractive and unsuccessful" just like Nirpal.
To further turn the knife Liz reads a column she wrote about her 2002 honeymoon. It's pretty boring. She says she's a witch but at least she's funny ... well, that statement was funny, nothing else she says is. Nic talks as if she knows all about Nirpal, she says she has met him once when he came to stay with Liz and he seemed nice, but she can't believe he's so nasty in print! Shut up Nic you barely know the guy. This week's column: "In Which Liz Wishes She Could Meet Her Match." So, she's now looking for a vain, spiteful, shallow, racist old man? There's gotta be plenty of those among the Mail readership. Maybe she has hope after all.
The entire column is her sneering at men in her life, reciting a laundry list of wrongs committed by her exes and various "witty" one-liners she's used to insult them. I seriously think that she has hired someone to build a DIARY (suck it Liz!) generator bot to produce the column for her every week without her lifting a finger. In response to an anecdote about Nirpal, Nic says she hates it when people mimic or make fun of someone's voice - despite the fact that Liz herself did this not five minutes ago. Liz concludes she wants an equal who's on her side and it shouldn't be this hard, she's so nice and kind and funny and ... BRB, I need to throw up into a rusty bucket.
Nic pontificates at length about what a healthy relationship should look like and how couples should treat each other - coming from a woman who constantly complains about both her current boyfriend and her ex. Liz concludes she doesn't need a man because "they don't deserve me!" and she's got the untrained hounds. More stuff about animal fundraising, and a letter totes not from Nic gushing about how witty Liz's "which one are you?" from last week supposedly was. Yeah, whatever
Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!
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Good god @witchofwestbyfleet you really do take one for the team!
She’s definitely got age dysphoria. Imagine lying for ages that you’re not sixteen years older than your partner! Both Cambridge man and Nigel were at least a decade younger than her too. It’s not as if she looks surprisingly young for her age either. Here’s the criteria, she meets every point;
Typical Presentation:Age Dysphoria.
1. An enduring concept of self that is younger than one’s chronological age.
2. Intense dissatisfaction with adult characteristics
3. Persistent fantasies of being younger
4. Persistent role-playing (regression) as being younger than one’s chronological age.
I must admit that I certainly don't feel my age and keep having to remind myself that I'm in my early 60s because I really don't think of myself as an old fart though not menstruating is a plus. I don't really fantasise about being younger, don't hide the grey hairs, and I readily admit my age (thought often have to think!) and birth date but my personal sense of me feels more 40ish if that makes sense. I grew up, matured, and that's sort of been it.
I'm also planning my next couple of piercings to celebrate my recent birthday, have a short list of tattoos to be added to the current nine, and a growing collection of Doc Martens because I refuse to wear granny shoes to cope with my arthritis....
Don't you mean what doesn't happen, given that he exists solely in her imagination?
Wow.. great post I’m about to be 56 and I do not recognise her stance or indeed her references? This is me at 29 and presently,I have aged, have increased waistline and have wrinkles. I actually love being my age but I do recognise her antipathy and even disordered thinking about being mid sixties! I love reminiscing, I love remembering but I also kinda like NOW. My sons doing well, my career has let up, I look after 85 year old dad, you know.. bring it on. I had my effing days in sun. I still might have a warm day!!
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She blocked me because I had the temerity to suggest that she shouldn't have animals if she is 'too busy' to look after them!
Yup. She blocked me because I dared say she shouldn't have animals if she is too busy to look after them! The joke though is that I started following Nic and now Nic is following me back! LJ called me a 'chippy twit', despite the fact the comment I made was on Nic's feed not hers!
Wow you have aged really well! And all natural too ( except maybe the hair color?) I am the same age as Liz, and my biggest vanity is my hair which I do dye blonde. I started going gray in my early 30s and I refuse to be gray now, but that is my only vanity. I don't even wear make up. I do take good care of my skin and I think I have inherited good genes in that respect as my mother lived to be 100 but only looked to be in her 80s as she had beautiful skin. I do have an increased waistline which Liz would hate, but I also have 3 wonderful children and 3 ( nearly 4) beautiful grandchildren who are an endless source of joy to me. Liz is very dismissive of other people's children and grandchildren but as she doesn't have any of her own she has no idea what she is missing. I love dogs and animals but it isn't the same.
Same here, minus the piercings and tatttoos!
Witchy, are you Joan by any chance?
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@mrspig99
I knew you were real when I saw the Twitter spat. She was all over the place on that week’s podcast about it too. There was a Scottish lady she was attacking as well? Her memory for what’s actually in print is dire. She contradicts herself within the space of hours as she’s compelled to gaslight! Good for you for sticking to your guns and what you said is true. She’s the ‘Chippy twit’ by the way.
Jim Kerr is getting rave reviews as he is touring with Simple Minds (see Event page of the Mail on Sunday), and then LJ mentions her old rock star flame at the same time. 
No, sorry - do you mean the Joan she argued with on Twitter / mentioned on the podcast once?
She is incorrigible! Can't mention him for legal reasons, he's openly been with the same woman for 20 years (and it ain't Liz) but now the FRS makes a reappearance ... more obvious than ever that she made the whole thing upJim Kerr is getting rave reviews as he is touring with Simple Minds (see Event page of the Mail on Sunday), and then LJ mentions her old rock star flame at the same time.
He was in France (probably with long term girlfriend) when she wrote her fantasy column and is now a touring! I don’t believe she’s even had a conversation with Jim Kerr. She really is so thick to put these lies out again.
Suspect timing. He is getting mentioned again so she brings the old flame up too.
Does any one actually like this woman? I don't see the appeal of her writing and she is quite ghastly to look at. If she sorted her hair out and maybe got a fringe that would at least be an improvement. I suspect she actually has extremely low confidence, despite thinking she is better than everyone, and puts up a front of arrogance and over confidence
Yes that was the Joan I was referring to, your writing style is similar to hers. And yes, Liz sees Jim Kerr is in the news again so decides to throw out the RS again, as it was speculated ( but later disproven) that he was the RS. Given that she referred to her old flame Russell as a 'movie star' when he had had a couple of bit parts in a couple of movies I think the RS was probably just some guy who played the local pub a couple of times! If he really was as famous as he claims then the fact she had been seen with him would have been in the press at some point.
OMG, I hadn't thought of that but it's possible - that there was a real "Rock Star" but he was basically just someone who has done some local gigs and publishes songs online or something and she turned that into him being, well, Jim Kerr
Just to set Liz Jones ‘Fame’ and grandiosity in context…
India Knight has over 170k followers on Twitter.
Caitlin Moran has approaching 900k
Even Katie Price has 1.8million.
Liz Jones has around 4.8 thousand followers(mostly concerning the animal stuff?)
Such is her image of herself as a famous person in the current zeitgeist she planned a tour in 2021, (now cancelled)in which she hoped to fill theatres bursting to the seams with her one woman show of witty repartee. She is the raviest of raving bonkers!
What is she doing in the pic??
India Knight has over 170k followers on Twitter.
Caitlin Moran has approaching 900k
Even Katie Price has 1.8million.
Liz Jones has around 4.8 thousand followers(mostly concerning the animal stuff?)
Such is her image of herself as a famous person in the current zeitgeist she planned a tour in 2021, (now cancelled)in which she hoped to fill theatres bursting to the seams with her one woman show of witty repartee. She is the raviest of raving bonkers!
What is she doing in the pic??
You look fantastic!
She's showing us that she doesn't like the best-selling dress of 201?, I think it was from Zara. Sold thousands and kept selling out. Of course it was far too large for Liz because she is so svelte, so she had to demonstrate her disdain for the dress (as well as the gargantuan proportions of said dress) by posing like a Victorian wench about to curtsy to her mistress.Just to set Liz Jones ‘Fame’ and grandiosity in context…
India Knight has over 170k followers on Twitter.
Caitlin Moran has approaching 900k
Even Katie Price has 1.8million.
Liz Jones has around 4.8 thousand followers(mostly concerning the animal stuff?)
Such is her image of herself as a famous person in the current zeitgeist she planned a tour in 2021, (now cancelled)in which she hoped to fill theatres bursting to the seams with her one woman show of witty repartee. She is the raviest of raving bonkers!
What is she doing in the pic??
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