Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!

[Origen]

There's more than a hint of poisson about the whole, weird post (in my opinion) and I, for one, am not 'aving it!

I agree. Is (he?) trying to infer that he’s also a journo or something? It’s misanthropic to the point of being over the top so I thought it was a troll attempt. Liz Jones insecurity is partly rooted in her lack of education so I’ve never thought of her as over educated either. The fact that she never graduated is less important to me than she doesn’t appear to read widely? Bridget Jones and Sex and the City are literature to her…
It might be Nic,(being dictated to by Jonesie herself)! The discussions on Tattle infuriate her, we’re all ‘Jellyfish’remember?

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I wouldn't put it past Nic to post on here, we all know that she does or did post under a pseudonym in the comments section of the Dreary to shout down people critical of Liz

 

[Origen]

Meanwhile over on Mail plus.. another offensive diatribe. Out of context reportinag about the Pope and the now near constant envious whine about those of us with children. Apparently she’s forgotten that Mums can also be pet owners? She’s fitter, slimmer,cleverer more engaged with life because she has dogs instead of kids and we’re all slothful, ignorant drones who will be left in care homes to die?!

https://www.mailplus.co.uk/edition/...ave-dogs-than-children-is-the-pope-a-catholic
Awful article..potted envy and resentment.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

"When I worked in an office, I was always assigned to work at Christmas, given I’m barren, my womb as unused as my Le Creuset." - "Barren" means you are infertile, which is technically true as Liz is post-menopausal but nothing prevented her having children when she was younger

"I haven’t burdened the State or my employer with a need for free maternity care, maternity leave, free education. Child benefit! Dear God, have you seen the price of Lily’s Kitchen vegan dog food?" - Dogs need meat. They are designed to eat meat. They'd be happy with a tin of Pedigree Chum

"I am so relieved I never had children. They scream when young, ignore you as teenagers. Bung you in a care home and never visit at Christmas, just when you need them most." - Like how you admit you avoided visiting your mother when she was in a care home with dementia?

" The opposite is true: having an animal in your life expands your capacity for empathy and tolerance (two of my collies are now 13, and still behave like naughty toddlers), as well as reducing your waistline." - There are plenty of slim mothers, and fat people with pets. Also your collies are badly behaved because you don't train or discipline them

 

[Cherry Bakewell]

This is sad as hell but Liz Jones has absolutely fascinated me (for all the wrong reasons!) for years. I can never quite be sure if she's "real" or if it is indeed all just a wind-up persona. For her sake, I hope it's the latter. I could not do it though, make myself almost universally despised I mean, however much they paid me.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Whine Whine Whine All Night (aka Plodcast). Cut for length

Spoiler

Liz whines that Janice Turner in the Times was critical of And Just Like That. Janice felt the characters are being portrayed as rather more elderly/fragile than mid to late 50s - e.g. Carrie having a hip replacement (which most people don't need until their 60s at least), or Miranda not knowing how to use new technology despite having previously been interested in tech. Liz and Nic brag that Liz doesn't need to know how to use technology because her humble serf Nic will do it for her. Liz says she was "the first professional Mac user" ... of course she was. Liz gets in a rant about disappointing men and says she finds Carrie's situation relatable, but that Janice expects women to be portrayed as superhuman. Janice is 58, about the same age as these characters. Doesn't her experience count?

Nic refers to the day after her birthday as "Birthday Boxing Day." Finally we get to hear Liz being positive as she and Nic both like After Life with Ricky Gervais. Nic witters at length about TV and dogs which is boring, but at least she enjoys things, Liz doesn't! This week's column is about Liz's "gifting mismatch" whereby she gave DScrace an iPhone and he gave her a box of matches. Nic reads out arse-kissing correspondence apparently from Liz fans about how they totally agree with her that you should block people you don't like. Liz says she got a "mean tweet" telling her to "stop talking about how generous she thinks she is". But that she "has" to write about what she gave someone for Christmas as it is her "USP".

One alleged letter really takes the cake, encouraging Nic to dump her boyfriend (discussed last week) and praising Liz for kicking Scrace to the kerb. It also states that the podcast would be boring if Liz and Nic had normal lives with "marital bliss." Liz says if she were happily married she wouldn't need to do the podcast, as her husband would pay for everything and do stuff for her - "I don't even have breakfast!" You don't like eating! You constantly brag about how everyone else is fat and over-eats while you're slim and perfect, so shut up. They start chanting "BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!" again. Nic says there were dozens of responses to last week's podcast. How many were written by Nic herself?

Liz says it's the first time anyone on Twitter has ever defended her (over buying David the phone), and that if he hadn't sent it back, she "wouldn't have been able to afford to eat this month." Should you not have thought of that before you spent £1000? You could buy David a nice phone for less than a quarter of that price. He doesn't need a top of the range iPhone. More man-bashing / David-bashing. Liz complains that he accepted other expensive presents from her before, I assume that was when they were actually dating. More standard Liz bitching "no one appreciates generosity" with reference to another faux-letter "from a nice lady in Canada." JUST LIKE LIZ she lavished money on people and got nothing in return. Nic says "you shouldn't need to buy love, it should be mutual." That's not going through Liz's skull, is it.

Liz has been having psychic readings for a "future thing" she's writing. She feels she is being held back as she constantly has to dredge up past misfortunes for her archive column. DON'T DO THAT, THEN. Stop making the podcast, or replace the "archive column" with something different. We know she won't stop though because it saves her coming up with new material. The archive column is from 2013 where Liz realised the Rock Star (who's as real as her fan in Canada) had started drinking again, and pondered whether to break up with him as he was no longer useful. The column endlessly references SATC (again) and mentions Liz's sister-in-law by name, with reference to an embarrassing incident where she wet herself/spilled food because of alcohol abuse. Liz thinks her audience is too stupid to know what ellipsis means, and calls Nic "a foetus."

They talk at length about personal flaws with Nic sharing some actually touching stuff about her father being an alcoholic, and Liz responding that she "helps people too much" and "gives too much." We end with more correspondence being read out about Liz's antivax nonsense last wee. Liz snarls "don't tell me what to do with my body!", gets in more jibes at fat people, and repeats the spurious claim that she does a PCR test (not lateral flow) every day.

 

[Origen]

Truly that went beyond the call of duty..@witch of westbyfleet Much thanks for listening to the podcast all the way through and summarising. My record is eight minutes then the cackles unnerved me!

 

[Mediastar]

Tomorrow's Drear is dismally awful. She sent Scrace an iPhone (certainly charged to her 'company' so tax deductible). He sent her a £100 matchbox holder by David Linley engraved "my goddess of my light" in Latin. She then broke a confidence, as you may recall, regards to his Christmas/NY plans and he sent the phone back (good for him!). Cue outrage and a tsunami of the usual tit about how wonderful she is and how awful everyone else is. Rinse & repeat.

 

[Jumbojet1251]

Tomorrow's Drear is dismally awful. She sent Scrace an iPhone (certainly charged to her 'company' so tax deductible). He sent her a £100 matchbox holder by David Linley engraved "my goddess of my light" in Latin. She then broke a confidence, as you may recall, regards to his Christmas/NY plans and he sent the phone back (good for him!). Cue outrage and a tsunami of the usual tit about how wonderful she is and how awful everyone else is. Rinse & repeat.

I bit the bullet and googled the Latin phrase she used. First hit I got was an article about Mussolini

What a sweet sweet moment that was!

 

[Origen]

David is foolish for still staying engaged with the relationship in any way but he’s 71 years old and unwell? You can imagine he put himself through hoops trying to get a gift that would pass muster? Nothing passes muster for her. She demands gifts like some beautiful princess in a fairytale who has handsome princes doing heroic quests for her?? The organic hampers she demanded from the RS, remember P and his plethora of leather goods and scarves..
Who does she think she is? Has she looked in a mirror lately or played back her podcast?
She’s no Goddess, no Nigella or Sharon Stone in the looks department.. not scintillating company or witty. Her makeup and hair are a relic from 1978.
She’s lucky even to have David. He should have just sent a packet of vestas and used the rest of the money to treat his pals. Block Block Block her David! She’s no Goddess of Light.. she’s the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

She keeps stringing him along, saying they're not together, but they're gonna go on "mini-breaks", he's good enough for a booty call and a £1000 worth of iPhone etc all while she's lusting over the "film star", wants to go to Australia to see Nigel but refuses to get a vaccine, etc. She is so selfish

 

[ClockworkDolly]

She is running out of people to write about. David is her go-to prop when she needs an article-filler. Trouble is she thinks she can buy people the whole time and measures their gift-giving against her own. I had an ex like that, he would always know the price of everything and the value of nothing. If you didn’t spend a fortune (or what he considered a fortune) on Christmas and Birthdays, he would berate you constantly, alongside all the other tit he dished out.

Eventually these kind of people drive others from their lives and then they sit there and ponder why…because of all the lovely gifts they gave, blah, blah and how mean others are not to have matched their expensive gifts.

Frankly, Liz was lucky she got a match box. duck all is what she really deserves!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I had to laugh at the whole "David Linley is such a minor royal, I don't even get someone with the title of HRH?" I say had to laugh because if I try to think any harder about it, my brain will dissolve

 

[shushablay]

This turned up, as you may recall, just as the last three closed, with no chance to comment:

"Listen, 'columnists' are there to irritate you. I wouldn't believe anything much they say. Occasionally they make good points. But it's just their job to make-up sh1t to wind readers-up. That's their job. It's quite a pathetic existence really (as he says sitting on his own typing this). You know what I mean.

Female columnists are the worst (best). If you can stomach it, read some of the agenda-pushing tripe The Guardian columnists pump-out for money like sewage. My l0rd. Still, what are middle-class over-educated entitled-women supposed to do? They ain't exactly gonna get a job in Lidl are they. Which funnily enough would do them some good and get them back into the real-world."

Which has perplexed me somewhat... not least as to who the author might have been. Quite apart from the dreadful way it's written, there's a hint of sock-puppetry by proxy going on. It seems to demean female columnists but, at the same time, declares Jones to be "middle-class and over-educated". Bearing in mind she's a self-employed, ex-bankrupt in rented digs, I think "middle-class" is stretching it... and as for "over-educated", she didn't even graduate for duck's sake. There's more than a hint of poisson about the whole, weird post (in my opinion) and I, for one, am not 'aving it!

Nah don't think it's anyone related to Jones, I've seen that poster on other threads, notably Harry & Meghan, and has no time for them, think they maybe just wandered into the thread and posted without context, fair enough comment about columnists..mainly DM ones, who prod people for a reaction, but Jones is on a different level in that she harasses and throws poisonous barbs at ordinary people in her column who have the misfortune to have crossed paths with her and have no right of reply, that's what makes her utterly repulsive.

Today's shite was the expected level of nonsense, so glad that David sent the phone back. Notably most of the comments are critical about her and some are questioning why David is referred to as the ex but with massive hints given as to his identity, so maybe she has been told not to mention him by name and thinks she is smart and can get away with it by just calling him the ex...she really is a stupid woman.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Like how the totes real Rock Star is now the "ex-ex" to keep Jim Kerr's lawyers happy

 

[Origen]

Can anyone explain to me the timeline of today’s post and the lies about the spa cottage break? Her column (as she’s always saying )is meant to be written six weeks ago? Ok.. so how come it’s Christmas already and they’ve exchanged gifts?
Also David reads her column and she was barred from taking four dogs to the effing Spa cottage two weeks ago and complained about it bitterly. He knows it’s off the table… so how can she torment him with that?
She makes gaslighting an art form. Nowt is bloody true!

 

[shushablay]

The problem is, she can write whatever she wants with no right to reply for anyone or for anyone to challenge the lies, so she gets away with it. I remember a column she wrote some time ago about interviewing Trump at Turnberry (no she didn't) and whilst the diary she produced at the time was really bland, she reinvented the story claiming that David had left her bag of clothes sitting around (the ones she was going to wear for the non interview) and was basically using it to have a go at David..so useless he can't carry a bag of her clothes..but then in an effort to spice the whole thing up, claimed that the CIA/FBI had blown the bag up as it was a potential security risk and her outrage that they did that (but it was YSL I wailed) total crap, we in Scotland do have our own security services and as it was at a public place, a golf course, no way was anything getting blown up..I live near the area and remember all the local press reports and whilst a mariachi band showed up and someone got in trouble for flying a drone, nothing of note happened at all.

Notably the dreary hardly allowed any comments that week, think there were about 8, one of them from Nigel of Dorset and not one mentioned this alleged controlled explosion, simply because it did not happen and I imagine there would have been many commentators saying as much, what a load of crap.

Her columns used to be 6 weeks behind, but have caught up a bit now and I think they are only about 2 weeks behind, think she probably got pulled up by management for that, who the hell wants to read about her Christmas in February and her woe is me, I spent gazillions on presents, waxing, bleaching, steaming and fancy mini breaks for valentines day, which were not appropriately reciprocated when everyone is sitting down to their Easter Sunday dinner.

 

[Origen]

The problem is, she can write whatever she wants with no right to reply for anyone or for anyone to challenge the lies, so she gets away with it. I remember a column she wrote some time ago about interviewing Trump at Turnberry (no she didn't) and whilst the diary she produced at the time was really bland, she reinvented the story claiming that David had left her bag of clothes sitting around (the ones she was going to wear for the non interview) and was basically using it to have a go at David..so useless he can't carry a bag of her clothes..but then in an effort to spice the whole thing up, claimed that the CIA/FBI had blown the bag up as it was a potential security risk and her outrage that they did that (but it was YSL I wailed) total crap, we in Scotland do have our own security services and as it was at a public place, a golf course, no way was anything getting blown up..I live near the area and remember all the local press reports and whilst a mariachi band showed up and someone got in trouble for flying a drone, nothing of note happened at all.

Notably the dreary hardly allowed any comments that week, think there were about 8, one of them from Nigel of Dorset and not one mentioned this alleged controlled explosion, simply because it did not happen and I imagine there would have been many commentators saying as much, what a load of crap.

Her columns used to be 6 weeks behind, but have caught up a bit now and I think they are only about 2 weeks behind, think she probably got pulled up by management for that, who the hell wants to read about her Christmas in February and her woe is me, I spent gazillions on presents, waxing, bleaching, steaming and fancy mini breaks for valentines day, which were not appropriately reciprocated when everyone is sitting down to their Easter Sunday dinner.

Hmm.. that’s interesting about Turnberry? I’m also Scottish and I remember a post about the Rockstar meeting her at Edinburgh’sWaverley station in a sports car with another woman in the passenger seat(inside the Waverley tunnel entrance)!!! It simply isn’t possible for any car except for a registered black cab to loiter around in there? She forgets her readers have real lives,a multitude of experience and know when she’s high on delusion.

 

[shushablay]

yeah and that's the problem she can spout any old shite she likes, knowing that whilst many of her readers will know fine well that it isn't true, their comments will never get through and the majority of her readership (that sounded quite grand for what probably amounts to a couple of thousand people worldwide) do not have a clue, although many suspect that she lies, I don't think anyone believes the fake rock star stuff anymore, which is why I think after a failed resurrection, had him head off with a new woman, she knew that no one was buying it.

ETA here is the link to that story it was when she first met Cambridge man, who subsequently stood her up and most of the (13) comments are about the fact that in a previous dreary she'd given up alcohol (again) but now she's talking about drinking champagne

Liz Jones's Diary: In which I meet a man I actually like

You know how you can be so fed up living where you are, you go on Rightmove and see online a lovely cottage, perfect, with a gorgeous garden stuffed with roses and peonies?

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

This is why you can't hold down a man, Liz: if you have invited him home, he doesn't care about your "Irish linen" or "loo paper folded to a perfect V." If your fridge is working and full of the food he likes, he doesn't care that it is a pink SMEG fridge