Lily Pebbles #18 Thinking about baby number 2, hey Rich, pull the tampons out of MY loo

[mifflenco]

She seems really detatched from Grey from what we see. Is it possible for her to have PPD at this point?

Definitely possible, I believe it can come at any time after the birth doesn’t have to be straight after, also if she never got treated it doesn’t just go away.
My daughter is 3 now, I had PND, I would still say I do have it. Seeing how lily is with Grey at times I can relate to her with feelings I had and sometimes still do have similar feelings that people would say I’m ungrateful, I’m not i truly love my daughter she has really saved my life. I don’t know if that’s just her or PND? Not that I hope she has it but it would be a positive I suppose because she will get better if she gets treated. Sorry I don’t articulate myself well on this topic, out of fear of being judged and saying the wrong thing.

but i have really thought for a while she has PND, from the frumpy clothes, ‘losing herself’, not finding enjoyment in her daughter, etc. she wants to live an idealistic life and will not acknowledge her issues and work on them.

 

[CuriousAndCurioser]

I live in Belsize Village so the vclosest parks to me are Hampstead Heath and Primrose Hill, I’m just between the two. I have recently completely stopped going to both at weekends cause it’s full of Lily type idiots who drive to have a stroll there, hence making it unbearably busy for the locals. Apparently Estee Lalonde also takes her dog all the way to Kenwood and she doesn’t even live in North London. (I don’t follow her, just a post popped up on my IG discover page and I recognised the background)

I live close to Richmond Park, and we have the exact same situation. I haven’t been to the park in months. They had to close it to traffic because the car parks were so full that cars parked along the roads of the park most days.

 

[jaymie]

Definitely possible, I believe it can come at any time after the birth doesn’t have to be straight after, also if she never got treated it doesn’t just go away.
My daughter is 3 now, I had PND, I would still say I do have it. Seeing how lily is with Grey at times I can relate to her with feelings I had and sometimes still do have similar feelings that people would say I’m ungrateful, I’m not i truly love my daughter she has really saved my life. I don’t know if that’s just her or PND? Not that I hope she has it but it would be a positive I suppose because she will get better if she gets treated. Sorry I don’t articulate myself well on this topic, out of fear of being judged and saying the wrong thing.

but i have really thought for a while she has PND, from the frumpy clothes, ‘losing herself’, not finding enjoyment in her daughter, etc. she wants to live an idealistic life and will not acknowledge her issues and work on them.

I may sound very insensitive by saying this and of course I don’t know what she is going through yadah yadah.

I think the problem with Lily is that her ego is too big to admit that she has issues. Plus she isn’t committed, seeing a therapist isn’t an one-off affair - is an ongoing process that requires ongoing works (Just like exercise).

The last time she went to therapy was to do with something with her book launch, and I think she only went for one session. She also mentioned how therapy is more common in America than the UK - I don’t know how to put it but Lily came across as a very judgmental and narrow minded person. In her own little pea size brain, admitting and seeking for help is a form of weakness.

 

[Summernights]

I may sound very insensitive by saying this and of course I don’t know what she is going through yadah yadah.

I think the problem with Lily is that her ego is too big to admit that she has issues. Plus she isn’t committed, seeing a therapist isn’t a one-off affair - is an ongoing process that requires ongoing works (Just like exercise).

The last time she went to therapy was to do with something with her book launch, and I think she only went for one session. She also mentioned how therapy is more common in America than the UK - I don’t know how to put it but Lily came across as a very judgmental and narrow minded person. In her own little pea size brain, admitting and seeking for help is a form of weakness.

I had/have PND depression from when I gave birth to my first child in May 2019 and I still see a therapist now. It’s definitely an ongoing affair and something Lily could never possibly commit to. She couldn’t even finish Couch to 5K

 

[mifflenco]

I may sound very insensitive by saying this and of course I don’t know what she is going through yadah yadah.

I think the problem with Lily is that her ego is too big to admit that she has issues. Plus she isn’t committed, seeing a therapist isn’t an one-off affair - is an ongoing process that requires ongoing works (Just like exercise).

The last time she went to therapy was to do with something with her book launch, and I think she only went for one session. She also mentioned how therapy is more common in America than the UK - I don’t know how to put it but Lily came across as a very judgmental and narrow minded person. In her own little pea size brain, admitting and seeking for help is a form of weakness.

Yes 100% agree with this, I get the feeling she knows to say the right things but deep down she feels the opposite. I get ‘PND is such an important topic and women are brave and strong to admit to themselves they have an issue’ but you’re right it would be a weakness to her, it’s not a part of her cookie cutter life and probably thinks if she won’t address it it will go away, maybe she is waiting to have her second child and hoping she will feel fulfilment as that has always been her aspiration.
I’ve done therapy on two occasions, every week for at least 3 months and the benefits have been so amazing I went in knowing I have an issue and wanting to get better. I’m not ashamed to say but from doing it the first time I remember the first moment I truly fell in love with my daughter and it was the most amazing experience I’ve had she was around 18 months at the time, I never had that instant rush of love when she was born, which I feel like most people do and it wasn’t what I was expecting, but from looking back to then and now I just want to be with my daughter or get so excited even when I think of her and she’s not around, therapy has given me that. I hope she does see this and does seek help. Also I just want to point out that I’m not saying she doesn’t love her daughter, of course she does, I always loved my daughter deep down but I just had a dark cloud masking everything and I wasn’t getting to feel any emotion I was so detached and I get those vibes from her.
Sorry for the extra long reply!

I had/have PND depression from when I gave birth to my first child in May 2019 and I still see a therapist now. It’s definitely an ongoing affair and something Lily could never possibly commit to. She couldn’t even finish Couch to 5K

Coming to terms with it that it will be an ongoing issue is half the battle, I found that the hardest - knowing that this is something I have and will have to work hard at keeping it at bay. She has the means to pay for a great therapist a lot of people don’t have the luxury and only get so many free sessions on nhs or local groups. Hope you’re doing a lot better now, and I hope lockdown hasn’t been too tough on you

 

[evenstar297]

I had/have PND depression from when I gave birth to my first child in May 2019 and I still see a therapist now. It’s definitely an ongoing affair and something Lily could never possibly commit to. She couldn’t even finish Couch to 5K

It is but she has to recognise their is a problem and I don't think she see's anything out of the ordinary. I think she's realised how full on motherhood is and how much her mother and her family made it seem easy and now 'rona means its on her and Rich to do everything (primarily Rich for home/childcare). From what I can infer, Lily thinks she can go back to her mid-late 20s life to a degree once Grey was in nursery/school but she's in for a rude awakening. Lily has zero fashion sense (I don't think anyone looks to her or saves her photos for fashion inspo ), her beauty/skincare essentials are comprised of ads/freebies and Anna recommendations (she rarely gives her credit when Anna recommends a product first). What she hasn't realised is that all her viewers watch Anna's videos but not all of Anna's followers watch Lily (hence the viewer gap between the two) and we know when Anna recommends something first (almost always). Lastly, her home interior style - literally no one tags any of her IG interior/home decor posts for inspo (I checked) with the exception of the company that paid for the kitchen cupboards who used it as their promo b/c its a mish mash of trends (that shower tile is still fugly). Aside from Rich, Grey and the fact she lives in a house "in London", there genuinely isn't anything aspirational about her (I don't mean this as an insult she's just basic and complains alot) and the fact she gives off the vibe of how much of an effort it is for her to do her "job" isn't generating the same level of interest and its b/c the influencer market is now oversaturated. Why watch an average looking spoiled privileged "londoner" live her "life" that she herself isn't motivated by when there are more prettier and creative influencers (fashion/beauty/mum lifestyle) and now celebs to choose from?

 

[okay_go]

I bet they end up moving next year

definitely. you can tell it's dawning on her that this is far from the "dream home" that she made it out to be. bits are falling apart, it's not as big as she wants, it's poorly planned, she has lots of reno regrets. the only thing stopping her at the moment is the amount of money and time she spent doing it up so she's holding on for as long as she can before she can use the "we need more space for the next baby" excuse and not look completely ridiculous after splurging so much. she used to talk a lot about this house being their home for the next 10+ years and extending into the loft one day but it's clear she doesn't love the house anymore and wants more. not to mention how this is all amplified now given anna's big move...

 

[dutchover]

she’s open to constructive feedback now. No more, if you don’t like it just leave attitude. Wonder whyyyyyy

 

[greygarnham]

I don’t know why the simple act of washing her hair is such a big affair. She was really down in her latest vlog, and I couldn’t help but think maybe her greasy hair had something to do with it.. I feel low/ gross if I’m in need of a shower or if I haven’t made effort and got ready. Why did she HAVE to wash it on Saturday night? She woke up on Saturday morning and made a big song and dance about it being so greasy and the ton of dry shampoo she had put in it. Well, just wash it? She could have washed it on Friday night, ahead of the weekend. Or even woken up a bit earlier and washed it on Saturday morning. She has been doing this for years. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t the official hair wash day that’s marked down in your calendar, Lily. If your hair is now greasy, just wash it.
Also, when Grey fell asleep in the car, she seemed so pissed off. Babies aren’t robots. Even if you stick to a schedule like you’re in the army, they will sleep/ poo/ play/ eat when they want to.

 

[Sooverthat]

I think you’re right, it was 27th Dec so she’s probably on her period and being a miserable witch

I actually thought she 'looked' pregnant in one part of the vlog. She looked really tired, her eyes looked dry and darkened and she had a pasty sallow look about her and it reminded me of her first trimester vlog.when she was.feeling.her worst.

My Daughter is 3 and whilst she does sit and play on her own, she will sometimes come into the bathroom whilst I'm in there. I'm in a flat so its easier for her to do that as opposed to us living in a house. She has seen me use tampons and is now at the age where she asks me what they are, TBH I don't know how to explain them so just say I'll tell you when you're older

My daughter does this too and I just try and describe everything using the normal language and as simply as I can 'Its called a period, girls get them, it's normal etc' This gets followed by the typical 3yr old reaction 'why' I do the same with body parts, she knows she has a vagina and that boys have a penis. I read that it's really important for children to learn the correct names of body parts and functions of the body to know what is 'normal' and be able to vocalise and understood should they have to ever talk about themselves etc...

 

[Nova]

Has anyone noticed how Lily never calls Grey "my daughter/or daughter" or "our little one", or however else normal people refer to their kids? It's always Grey/she/her.

Is that so strange? I find it weirder when people don’t refer to their children by their names, unless it’s to people who don’t know their child’s name. Her viewers know who Grey, seems a bit weird to constantly say “my daughter” when taking about everyday things.

 

[martaS]

I don’t know why the simple act of washing her hair is such a big affair. She was really down in her latest vlog, and I couldn’t help but think maybe her greasy hair had something to do with it.. I feel low/ gross if I’m in need of a shower or if I haven’t made effort and got ready. Why did she HAVE to wash it on Saturday night? She woke up on Saturday morning and made a big song and dance about it being so greasy and the ton of dry shampoo she had put in it. Well, just wash it? She could have washed it on Friday night, ahead of the weekend. Or even woken up a bit earlier and washed it on Saturday morning. She has been doing this for years. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t the official hair wash day that’s marked down in your calendar, Lily. If your hair is now greasy, just wash it.(...)

I used to, for a while, maybe up to about 5 years ago, make myself wait an extra day or two to wash my hair So I could wash it on day 3 or 4. But then something changed with my hair/ scalp and after day 2 it gets really greasy and itchy (sorry if TMI) and I have to wash it. Do I force myself to wait and walk around with itchy scalp for extra 2 days, just so I can say I only wash my hair twice a week? Of course not. I like to feel clean and comfortable.
I also think that with Lily part of the problem is the whole process of styling and straightening which takes forever. If she gave the CG method a go, she could just wash it and dry it with a diffuser, which doesn't take as long as drying, straightening and curling

 

[Eileen_2019]

Is that so strange? I find it weirder when people don’t refer to their children by their names, unless it’s to people who don’t know their child’s name. Her viewers know who Grey, seems a bit weird to constantly say “my daughter” when taking about everyday things.

It's the constant 'her' that gets me ... So awful.

 

[martaS]

Is that so strange? I find it weirder when people don’t refer to their children by their names, unless it’s to people who don’t know their child’s name. Her viewers know who Grey, seems a bit weird to constantly say “my daughter” when taking about everyday things.

I think it's partly the detachment from Grey, the lack of connection, which is discussed here quite a bit, I suppose, but it is also assuming that everyone knows she has a daughter who is called Grey. If someone has been hiding under the proverbial rock and never watched Lily's video before, or if lifestyle/beauty category is not something they've watched before, and come across Lily's vlogs at random, it's not super obvious, is it?

 

[Eileen_2019]

Especially when she talks about 'work days and Grey days' , it sounds like she is depressed on days she does not work....

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I sort of understand the hair washing being an event thing, I follow the cgm but still, from going on the shower to my hair being completely dry and ready to leave the house it takes about 2 hours and that's assuming i don't have to look after daughter at all in that time, it I do it takes much longer! It's worse in winter though as I don't have the option of air drying and going about my day as that would take 8+ hours to dry.

What I don't do it witch and moan though, it only needs washed twice per week so I just find the least inconvenient times and get on with it!

 

[martaS]

Regarding possible PND: she wouldn't even have to share it online. Like fair enough, it's good to talk about mental health as you may help someone else. I have some amazing friends and many of them did/do therapy when they need it and I would like to think that if I was ever in situation, where I needed it but I couldn't see it and they could, they would tell me in a straightforward way to go and get help (I am especially thinking about my two closest friends here in UK but there are others and at least one family member back home - this is partially in response to @jaymie's comment regarding differences between UK and US).
However, if Lily's ego is the thing that's is getting in the way, or if this is something that she wouldn't want to share online, she should just do it in quiet - for her own sake, the sake of her family and the sake of Grey's future.
But she feels like she has to share everything online. I hope this is not what is stopping her from getting help.

Also, if she does read here, I hope reading some of the previous posters' stories might help her see her own issues and inspire her to look into getting help.

 

[Penelope Strawberry]

Watched the vlog and will summarise below:

- They go for a walk - Rich pushes the buggy

It does my head in that during lockdown Lily and Rich insist on driving 5 miles to Hampstead Heath when they could walk from their house to Alexandra Palace, which has a lovely park with a duck pond and deer enclosure.

 

[Eileen_2019]

She seemed to be really annoyed with Grey for falling asleep in the car, when, did they not used to drive her around in order to get her to sleep ?

 

[bupbupamericano]

I don’t follow her or watch her videos anymore, as I don’t want to contribute anything to her revenue, but it surprises me how many people still watch her. I know a lot of it’s hate watching these days, but for the others who follow her because they like her content...why?! There are some amazing London influencers creating much better content, seem to enjoy their job and don’t complain about it.