I found this hopefully it will make sense & also be helpful to others
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That's really interesting
@Zulkraa thank you for sharing this.
Recently I have felt I had a bit of a spiritual awakening or growth spurt if you will!
I am into tarot cards and recently used a deck that, I felt very connected to, and one night I was shuffling the deck and asked who am I really?
I picked the card that I felt drawn to, and turned it over and it was the Queen of wands.
A card that I had always had a bit of a fascination with tbh...I doubted myself at first a little, as it seemed too good to be true...am I deluding myself or being egotistical here etc etc?
So I started shuffling again, this time repeating the process for lots of people that I knew, well it was instinctively very accurate.
So I kind of meditated on it, and because I have been doing shadow work, I came to the conclusion that I was manifesting the reverse energies of this card. For example feeling sluggish instead of energised, snappy and ill tempered instead of assertive....etc etc.
Also I pulled out a card that explained my mother, sorry if this is all a bit OTT, but it was the 10 of wands....similar energy to mine, but explained as carrying a large load (heavy burden) and I understood with clarity, that's why I had felt so burdened by her presence (literally overbearing) and also that I had been carrying her problems (and everyone else's) all my life?
Also that unconsciously because we both carry similar energy, she had literally overshadowed me, and been competitive, tried to keep the upper hand.
Her card was literally described as demonic fire in this tarot deck, tbh I had always been a bit horrified by her?
Sadly I found myself acting out (in times of stress) all of her hidden (dark) impulses that she had never owned up to!
It was a a ha moment for me, liberating the thought that I,d tried to almost suffocate and put out my own (creative) fires, just to appease someone else (who didn't know how to use hers) made absolute sense.
So this card the queen of wands spoke to me about redemption, and giving myself and life another chance.Also urging me to be benevolent and love myself, and shine instead of hiding in the darkness.
Also that my previous resistance to do so had been about trying not to displease my mum, or threaten her ego?
With the consequence that I had never loved myself before, because I was ashamed (she was right and I was wrong)!
Well this card and it's beautiful imagery, spoke to me of real courage and boldness, instead of rage and access to magic and manifesting if I just let go and accepted my divine light!
So I did and something clicked in me, a sense of certainty, a reassurance that I was going to be alright, better than that I was going to live again.
Well 2 things happened today i picked my daughter up from school, and on the way home I noticed a grey feather on the floor.
I thought to myself oh I remember reading about feathers on this thread, maybe that's why I noticed.
I then saw another feather on the floor!
We live close to a busy street in London tbh I have never seen feathers on this street before?
Usually I am pretty observant about my surroundings?
Then we got home, I was sat on the sofa and my daughter excitedly gave me a present, a yellow feather!
Also I received a book just today Queen up (,unleash the power of your inner tarot queen) by Angela Kaufman..and I was reading about the Queen of wands...and there it was in print ...one of her symbols was (you guessed it,) feathers!
So either I am going to be really dense now and go into denial , or say you know what maybe I should just be graceful and grateful and admit, this could actually be a sign right?
All this happened before I read your post, so yes I had an inkling of say feathers but I had no idea about a yellow feather (quite rare around here) so I definitely wasn't expecting that!
Also that it means reassurance, you're on the right path? Well why not then! That would be great.
Also I would like to give a big thank you to the posters on this thread, you have inspired and encouraged me and I am really grateful for the positive energy on here. Also people's generosity of spirit. Honestly you are all an inspiration to me and I look up to all of you.
It's honestly inspired me to kick-start some very positive changes in my life.After what seemed like years in a kind of limbo land and wilderness.
That I really wondered if I would ever come out of.
So a very big thank you to all of you, but know that it is appreciated and valued and I shall definitely be making the most of it!