Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

[Crowbag]

I have visions of La'bored being like Matilda. Walking to the library by herself to get books to read while Loz sits in front of the TV with her microwave meal, her parents shouting at her to just watch the tv and telling her she doesn't need an educhasun as they did OK without one

She won't know how to walk, she'll have a mini motorised cinema couch, narrow enough to fit through the library doors.
She can use the awful drinks holders to put her books in.

(not many libraries left sadly)

I'm now remembering how i loved going to the library when I was ickle.

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No words

If even a single one of these is from a real person we have more to worry about than the world melting.

 

[roozle]

Big Lolo: me not gettin vaxeen coz ov helf reezunz

Also big Lolo: Has had various dubious plastic surgeries, pumps her lips full of filler, survives and thrives solely on kebabs, pizzas, an occasional can of corn and McDonald's, spends 99% of her time lying in her bed in a dull room and probably still smokes like a chimney.

 

[Userom]

She won't know how to walk, she'll have a mini motorised cinema couch, narrow enough to fit through the library doors.
She can use the awful drinks holders to put her books in.

(not many libraries left sadly)

I'm now remembering how i loved going to the library when I was ickle.

If even a single one of these is from a real person we have more to worry about than the world melting.

Mini motorised cinema couch

 

[Crowbag]

Mini motorised cinema couch

Probably with a black minge trim across the top.

 

[Chi4]

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No words

What the actual duck . This cannot be real can it ??

 

[Pom Bear]

Looool x.
Someone save La'rose ..

 

[Chi4]

Eh ?

 

[Crowbag]

Eh ?

She’s trying to say la'revolted uses a sleep next to me crib.
I think.
And that every waking minute it's just byg and la'repulsed. Together.
Which going by the photos means tucking her in loz's bed under a duvet all day.

That baby doesn't stand a chance.

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The look of any human being with byg 24/7 including when asleep.
She looks so sad. Resigned and sad.
And wondering why she's being forced to watch reruns of towie.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

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No words

Nauseating.....................................

Big Lolo: me not gettin vaxeen coz ov helf reezunz

Also big Lolo: Has had various dubious plastic surgeries, pumps her lips full of filler, survives and thrives solely on kebabs, pizzas, an occasional can of corn and McDonald's, spends 99% of her time lying in her bed in a dull room and probably still smokes like a chimney.

and then is aghast to find out she's got bronchitis (aka A Cold)

 

[Tittykitty]

Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

LaSagne's got more intelligence in her little wee body than big Loz and Chunky Chaz put together. I'm still convinced that Chaz has had to have 'special talks' with his Mummy as he uncovers how bewfel yungel managed to make a baby fall out of her noony.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips

Breathe???? What the duck. Omg I always thought it was hold your breath in as long as you can and then fart. Thanks god for Lauren’s Q&As. Long live Lauren!!

 

[HeCannitSeeMan]

Did we miss this one??? Is she saying “yeah so I still get ma face pumped fulla botulism and fillaz cuz I wanna look yung like baybay gew. I jus pump my gold medicine and frow ee away innit cuz might make lawose look yunga Dan me”

 

[Titfortattalesxo]

Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips

‘Breathe you got breathe through whole thing’ I’m in bleeping stitches

 

[JakeM]

Breathe? Thank you Lauren, my cousin is currently pregnant with her 3rd and didn’t breathe during the previous deliveries. I shall be sending her this wonderful advice.

#yougotbreathe

 

[Sunnydaze101]

 

[Snowfairy08]

Did we miss this one??? Is she saying “yeah so I still get ma face pumped fulla botulism and fillaz cuz I wanna look yung like baybay gew. I jus pump my gold medicine and frow ee away innit cuz might make lawose look yunga Dan me”

View attachment 844710

Haha, the little sidestep there where she doesn't actually admit to doing it!
Also, is that true that new milk is every 4 hours? Thought it was a supply & demand kinda situation...

 

[Anna666]

Nope ... Ive done my best to read this utter tripe, and it's no use, all I see is illiterate BOLLOCKS, complete shyte .... and I'm none the wiser ... given myself a headache ... need some paracetamol

 

[WordSalad]

Eh ?

So she's wiv Big Bessie when she performs on OF? Surely not.

 

[Crowbag]

So she's wiv Big Bessie when she performs on OF? Surely not.

I think la' romantic types everything up for byg.