Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

[Facehugger]

That’s Not My Name by The Ting Tings:

'They call me ball, they call me Virgo, they call me Ting Tong, they call me Loz, that’s not my name! That’s not my name! That’s not my name! That’s not my name!

Its good, Jake, it's good post me a pic, I'll suggest you a song, make it a good'un.

 

[Noelc]

Chaz spotted after split from Loz... x

View attachment 872748

Re Lozza relationship no " Ewe" turn for Chaz but he can certainly make their eyes water .

 

[Facehugger]

But she's 34 isn't she??

Yes.

I was meaning Lactulose.x will end up being one of these kids. Although whether her mother can tell the time on a round clock I have no idea, there's no telling really.

 

[Jolie1988]

Bet he's whispering in her ear, 'you're well getting the night ya sexy doll'

 

[xyzcba]

My Big Fat Lozza Wedding

With Backgrid as the official wedding photographers

And the bar topped up with WKD's and Lambrini

 

[Purpledahlia]

Oh I wonder if she would be so kind to add sweetcorn to the tuna mayo sandwich. Dealbreaker

goes without saying

 

[JakeM]

My mum used to type nn2r at the end of texts.
No need to reply.
Then she decided it was a waste of letters.
It's now nn.

My favourite was recently, she texted to say thanks for some note pads.
It said

So luvly2cu n t pads....
Cunt pads.
Makes me laugh every time i see it.



Dear Pom , please could I have a vip badge if you have the time?
Then i will truly feel Speshul.
A fank oooo



I shat on the other side.
So when loz gives up begging for cleaners and flips the stained by baby side over, she's going to get one hell of a surprise!

You did what? That poor child when Lauren finds out! She’ll be back on her 'highly anticipated' OF before long so she can afford a new sofa. Lauren, I’m begging you, don’t! I’m not ready to see new OF advertisements

 

[Crowbag]

Easy peasy…. ceremony

View attachment 871088 Evening shindig

View attachment 871089

Subtle, understated elegance.
You're absolutely spot on.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

Nah, he's been reading one of LaCremedelacreme's #basicbeggedfor books and just showing off!


View attachment 843082

I suggest she starts with that epic series Billy Blue Hat - the latest issue is Charlie Crap Hat. She'll luv it!

Incidentally, am I right in thinking this book is hers her rather than LaRotund??

 

[Crowbag]

Oh, fuck off, you vacuous, hypocritical twunt.

Lauren puts the "F" in Fake

Quick! Someone post "u ok hun? DM me"
View attachment 850214

Ignoring the mirror? And your phone ? Yes?

 

[Sunnydaze101]

She shoved a tube up herself

That’s bullshit. She would need at least five.

I can’t get over the fact she wants someone to sort through her flimsy garms and do the posting and depop admin. Oh, she is shameless. Bone fucking idle. Wants to feel like she ‘has someone working for her’ to make her feel important.
And the entitlement of thinking any serious business person is going to hand her a work opportunity on a platter off the back of a garbled IG story….as if!

I reckon she gets her niece to do a whole lot of her crappy jobs for her too. I’m suprised her niece isn’t the one taking photos of her shit stained clothes and putting them on her Depop for her. Niece must be busy cleaning her house for her instead.

 

[Crowbag]

He pushed out a begging message to expired OF subscribers last week offering discounts

More coming? Hope you get to the sink in time charlieboy.

I bet his bollocks are really impressed with his gang signing.

(it's like a scene from the inbetweeners)

 

[NinaStar90]

I’ve no idea what the song is and she’s posting pics of gifted phone cases but the lyrics look like something about splitting up?

She always does this! Pretty sure she promoted some of Laredoute's gifted clothes with a rap song about being a "boss bitch". The child was still a fetus, wtf is that all about?

 

[bluecups]

‘Fatty boombatty’ someone think of a thread title using this please.

Nah no reality show… she’s still crying into her dominos/kebab/family size bar of choccy/all of the above about oddbod and figuring out how to spin it

My (bit drunk) suggestion!

#46 Oddbod's done a bunk, said "Stuff this, see ya!" so Fatty Boombatty's planning a jaunt to Dubia

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

Nailed it! That's what she reminded me of

(Her arse is Photoshopped SO badly in this picture from about 18 months ago). Neanderthal woman crossed with a baboon. Or a centaur. Also, Lauren's wearing one of her many digitally-altered heads.
View attachment 852819

Not much in that wardrobe is there? None of her polyester jumpsuits or that lovely frock she wore the other week....................

 

[Caw1982]

View attachment 857586Lox what happened to your bewful face? Part of it is missing, are you turning into an alien??

Michelle Heaton filter michelle will be livid

 

[Jolie1988]

So bewful an sexeh!

View attachment 848902

Ah I needed that big bewful jobbie

 

[Clickbait]

I think we’ll get a Christmas engagement and/or another baby announcement. They both have no educational qualifications, skills, or ways to make money aside of selling their genitals so they’ll need a magazine spread to pay for Christmas.

 

[Jolie1988]

Oh that's fantastic!
So many thighs, all on one leg.
I haven't even looked at the face yet, I'm mesmerised by weird limbs.

It's like a cheese dream.



Pull up a sweaty cinema couch, grab yourself some corn on the cob and enjoy.

Preferably home maid corn

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

Yeah did I read that right? KP pretended that she was getting married in Vegas just for the fuck of it. Like even went to bridal shops on her holiday so the paps would follow her around??
WHY????
People like that should not be responsible for children!

Oh no, that was this morn's news, we've had some piping hot tea this afternoon, get yerself over there for a shufty!