Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

[265]

Maybe there's a video attached to that (I don't like watching animal cruelty videos, so I'll pass) but Lauren, maybe you should consider your OWN treatment of animals. Instead of trying to make yourself look worthy, posting about others'.

There is a video.

who is she has she an account?

ALERT THE GRAMMAR POLICE!!

What is Lozza planning? give her hell on the gram???

 

[So so able]

Er…Um…so she inserted some Pringles in her and her fella then goes for a snack …unfortunately there are photos

What the actual fuck? Soggy Pringles

 

[Caw1982]

So we were right

 

[Caw1982]

I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.
View attachment 844443

Britain is officially broken if lasses are learning from BYG

I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.
View attachment 844443

Britain is officially broken if lasses are learning from BY

Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips

Kinhell mother earth. Surprised with how perfec she is at labour, she didn't just excuse herself from the table at tea (obvs finishing plate), then pop to the bathroom, pop a towel or 2 down, do a couple of deep breaths and a cough, birth Al Capone, set up the ring light, straight into photoshoot and doing Insta q&a's

 

[gloriouscheesecake]

Maybe it's the lighting or the filter, but that doesn't look clean, it just looks like they've smeared the shit all over the cushions.

Yes Lauren, do start a home page...

She’s reposting a post from an NHS nurse. She’s so supportive of hospital staff but won’t get a covid vaccine. She’s a fucking stupid bitch.

The nurse in the post actually lost her job because she wouldn't get vaccinated while v

She’s reposting a post from an NHS nurse. She’s so supportive of hospital staff but won’t get a covid vaccine. She’s a fucking stupid bitch.

The nurse is actually American and she lost her job because refused to be vaccinated while breastfeeding. I'm all for getting vaccinated but I still think it should be your choice. I am double jabbed BTW.

 

[Purpledahlia]

La' wosebaby x here agen frens.

Well, lassnite was a To Do.

It all began wiv bigmama gel sayin she had nuff wiv Big feeders. I been sayin same fing for all my lickle life. Dose big udders give me heebeegeebeeeees..

All me babywose to blame cos I kep doin wah waaahhh wiv pouty mouthpiece. Make me laff.
Zzzzz from bigmama gel, WAAAHHH from me. See bigmama jump!
Kick big feeders away wiv feets.
Wait ickle time, do more WAAAAAAHHHHHH. Bigmama can jump high for big gel!

Anways, play dis game 6 time before bigmama crack. She crack bigtime.
She do waggy sossage fingers.
No la'wose, no. Norty. Go sleeps. Mama too tired. No mor. On an on she go. Hav 4 firestix while finger waggin. An hav caterin can sweetycorn eat wiv hand not waggin firestix.

Bigmama well pissed off.
Me did spit bubbles to pass time.

But me babywose x make mistake.
Went laff at bigmama when she go back bed cos ready for one last Waaaah. Put all ickle gel strength into it. Braced chubchub leggies.
Max WAAAAAAA-

only go shit self! Oopsydaisy.
Poonami level.
It fab. So stinky!
It explody bum out of cover, out of sox, out of everyfing! Shot rite across setteebed.
It not grey no mor!
Was shitty settee befor and now really shitty settee!

Uh oh.
Bigmama lolloping to babywose, time to play stare at distance.
More soon frens.
X

this was hilarious and made me laugh for the first time today when i am bloody miserable with my two under two. yes they watch too much tv but they are also played with, take note loz

 

[lamaitresse]

She's borrowed her Nanna's best Bon Marche top, she best not muck it up

I could imagine Charlie wearing that top, though he is considerably smaller than her.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

Oh, fuck off, you vacuous, hypocritical twunt.

Lauren puts the "F" in Fake

Quick! Someone post "u ok hun? DM me"
View attachment 850214

Does she actually understand all these big words??

Will be honest, my dad was (say was, as now dead) dyslexic and my mom didn't finish high school as her mom made her go to work as soon as she turned 16.
One thing they were both good at was maths, and they taught me (and I just sucked at it). They didn't teach me to read and write because both weren't very good at it (that's what they told me). I have a 2:1 degree in English language and literature and worked really hard to get into a really prestigious university.
My dad was in top of his classes for maths- was told he would have a promising education at uni, but was kicked out of sixth form for vandalism (didn't take teen shit lightly in the 70s).
I am still fucking terrible at maths. Took me 2 goes to pass my GCSE. Also took me an embarrassingly long time to tell the time.
Let's hope having dumbo parents doesn't rub off on the little one in the future.
However, you're parents don't necessarily have to be skilled at something for a child to "click" with it.

I'm useless at maths too. After long division I'm done for nor did I sit the CSE for it either because it would have been a waste of time all round As for logarithms, fractions, Pii charts and all that, forget it!!

 

[Bluenose70💙]

Hey there's more on her Instabeg...she got freebies and she's touting for more! Yay!

Also, a shout out for Matalan! And George At Asda!
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I hate the fact that some gullible companies enable this daft, lazy twat. She even admits she's lazy.
View attachment 845272
Oh dear, Matalan. I used to like you (though it's unclear whether it's #gifted). I don't know what's worse, those elastic bow things (makes me fear for baby's soft spot) or the pom-pom turbanette monstrosity Lauren's made her wear.
View attachment 845298
Asda get a mention too. Maybe she's hoping she can be the new Denise Van Outen (who infamously came down a peg or two, forced to do cringey Matalan adverts, pretending she was on a cosy afternoon TV show).

Its obvious she's writing her own questions, I know not everyone has perfect grammar but not everyone is bad like she is! All the people who supposedly ask the questions their grammar is shocking.

Can I just say that little turban thing on Larose is actually so freaking cute.

I agree she looks so adorable .

 

[Cbawts90]

Why does she want to have such a pointy face it's so odd. I wonder if she is actually getting a reg (wouldn't be surprised if she already has one tbh..) and is probably just taking on any work to avoid getting papped outside the job centre signing on

 

[lamaitresse]

Is it the cinema couch, or their previous settee? It doesn't look as weird as the cinema thing.

View attachment 847549

Why is it two different shades?
What's going on ted?
I feel like father Dougal at the moment, perplexed.

I'm pretty sure that's the supermassive cinema sofa monstrosity. Hopefully the shading is just the lighting!

 

[lamaitresse]

Whats with the God stuff on her IG? And WTAF does this mean?!!!
View attachment 848160

Oh lord, she doesn't give a toss how the rest of the world perceives her. Is that yet another #beg?

I'm pretty sure that's the supermassive cinema sofa monstrosity. Hopefully the shading is just the lighting!

Sorry everyone, I didn't realise this was a different sofa. And she posted the other day that "someone" (herself) requested she do a home tour? Yet she's downsized and has two sofas?!

 

[pinkstar16]

It could all be a game still but looks bad for her as he has removed all traces and she hasn’t. Just coming across as desperate but you never know what’s going on in that feeble mind if hers

I don’t think it’s a game

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

Me too! Slathered in oil with the stuffing balls

Ah the good old days, everything was much simpler back then {sigh}

 

[Crowbag]

Feeling a bit nostalgic like, thought I'd have a shifty on BYG IG page, see she's still linking @landcwardrobe from it. Our BYG never lets us down with classics like this:

View attachment 867441

They look and probably smell like a pair in the charity shop for £2.99.

(don't get me wrong, I love charity shops) (but not lozza's cast offs)

I'm pretty certain, the nasty filthy rich deviants who live and visit ` dubia ` and have poo fetishes, are rich and arrogant enough to pick, choose ... pay for the most beautiful girls to shit on glass tables, and whatever else this fucking disgusting perversion requires ( honestly makes me sick, what some find a turn on, and will do for money ) .... she has NO CHANCE unless one of these dirty old men, has a fetish for PIGS ... I did say, eventually ODDBOD would leg it and she will get desperate for money, and will be whoring herself online, in order to live ... that poor baby .... if charlie boy is gone, that child is in danger, he seemed capable around her ... lozzzzzz the delusional twat, is not mother material, far from it .... she cant even take care of herself, what chance does that baby have

Ahhhh, the max headroom photos.

 

[Cazza81]

Food shopping is a "chore in itself" for Lozza. Spends all day lozzing around but can't even do an online food shop.

 

[lamaitresse]

Lozza you dont go out so how can everyone be stopping you saying how amazing she is??View attachment 843628someone please translate this

Just realised Lauren is wearing some sort of vest (hopefully not a crop top) and white pants in that picture. Mercifully the text (and LaRose) hides most of her.

 

[Jolie1988]

Oh for Gods sake, I had just erased this from my memory

Bewful

 

[Crowbag]

She tried to address that yesterday by raising a question to herself about the baby sleeping on a pillow. She said she puts babies safety first !!! Hahahaha. What a joke, baby sleeps in a smoke infested place, visits nail salons and is unvaccinated. Her mum and dad drive around while they video themselves driving and she smoked whilst pregnant and we’ve seen all the bad car seat pictures and the leaving the baby bouncer ontop of the kitchen benches near the edges. Real safety conscience them too. Poor bubs has little chance with them two no hopers for parents.

Well said.
Poor little baby.

 

[Crowbag]

Les go babes!

Spoiler: Long song!

Am Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv me extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wereva a go
Wiv Backgrid and coke
The yungels always let me know
There’s Loz the boot
Deedle eedle ededle dumb
Wiv her extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb

The day a was born
Oh boy, me muva nearly died
She couldn’t get me nappeh on
No matter how 'ard she tried
Cause a was born wiv a massive arse
And since the day begun
A had to learn to stand on me own fwee trotters
Believe me, that no fun

Am Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv me extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wereva a go
Wiv Backgrid and coke
The yungels always let me know
There’s Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv her extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb

A had a dreadful childhood
Really a spose a shudn’t moan
Each time they 'ad a free foot race
A wun it on me own
And also a got popular
When came time for photos
They used to roll me leggings up
And tell me a was bewful

Am Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv me extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wereva a go
Wiv Backgrid and coke
The yungels always let me know
There’s Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv her extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb

A was a dreadful scholar
A found mafs so 'ard
The only fing a new for sure was that fwee feet make a yard
To count to Juletember a used me fingers
If a needed more
By getting me shoes and socks off
A could count to it
(Pause count: 24135…) to Jultember!

Am Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv me extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Woreva a did they said was right
So they said 'Jesus Christ, what a sight!'

Then they shouted at me 'put your best foot forward'
'But witch trotter, babes?' A said
It very fine for you, you only got choice of two but me? Fwee!

Am Loz the boot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb
Wiv me extra foot
Deedle eedle eedle dumb

Superb!