Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

[pinkstar16]

Charles has removed all pics of him and Lauren fRom his insta

The desperate cow still has all pictures of him on hers imagine being 35 year old and desperate to keep a young lad that you embarrass yourself like that

Ooh so he has! She’s been quiet lately… probably figuring out how to spin the ‘split’…. In other words, trying to flog the story.

 

[Crowbag]

Hello frens, this is me, la'wose baby x.
Is it nice if i can say hewwo to you?

I wos wons in big mamagel's tummy when it wor proper huuuuuuge big but now i am a big lickle gel and I'm out of it and breevin air an everyfing cos I'm a libberhayted er hindepenint oh poo i is a fwee baby gel.
Dis baby gel is doin it for hers self.

I don have no frens cept dat dolly wiv the scary eyesies peepin at me in da nite, don want dat, so will youse be my frend?
Cos if say ah ah no, all talk to is big mamagel's feeders.

Oooh, mamagel commin at me wi big feeders now so i play sleeps eyesies shut game cos don wanna sees dat bad udders.

Please rite back.
Love you frens,

Baby wose x

 

[thatsenough]

lauren you do not get stopped in the street by anyone saying she is lovely and looks like you because you do not go anywhere in case there is a unbooked photographer hanging about as for looking like you thats inpossible as you do not look like you your face is plastic

 

[Tittykitty]

Oh goody, another photo of lasagna in the bath I’ll not post it on here

Why is she not safeguarding that poor child, show her face whilst she is in the bath but deliberately panning the camera round is disgusting

 

[lamaitresse]

Think we saw the 3rd hole here

Lauren Goodger twerks in racy video promoting her OnlyFans account

The former TOWIE star, 34, left little to the imagination as she donned a pair of sheer stockings with a lace detail.

www.dailymail.co.uk

NSF LIFE

Someone on the DM commented "I thought it said 'Wipe Up', not 'Swipe Up'.

Boyf took a look at the clip and said, Spew up, more like.

Poor, deluded, filtered-to-the-max Lozza.

It's the basic skills that end up lacking, every bloody time. There's a generation of kids now who can't tell the time on a round clock with hands because they and their lazy parents always rely on the time display on their phones. Disgraceful.

Nice to see our @Blowup80 back

I have a bit of a thing for watches and introduced my then-8 years-old niece (I think? It was a while ago) to a Tikkers Tell The Time watch. I said, I'll get you a nicer one you can choose yourself, once you've learnt how to tell the time.

She said, I don't need to learn, I have a computer and a phone Worse, her mum (my sister) stuck up for her and told me to stop going on about it!

I have heard of primary school kids just out of nursery who can't hold a pencil, can't count or attempt their ABCs, can barely speak and aren't even toilet trained. What's going on?!

Also, my eldest niece (22) doesn't know who Laurel And Hardy are (!) and boyf has a new next door neighbour who's 21. He had no clue who Billy Connolly was when I told him I was listening to his audiobook!

Maybe I'm just getting old!!

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Has Ch’arg kicked Loz to the kerb?

Is he saying she a ball has lost weight???

 

[Crowbag]

@Blowup80 frend!

Is i, la' wosebaby.
Blimmin bigmama gel is a fanny.
La' wosebaby no, i repeet no, 35 yeers old!
Me mite not be as yung gel as bigmama insist but me not 35. Uh huh.

Daddy charlie stil no been teef flash today.
Av peeped in all four ovenz and look in washing masheen dor, nope.
Av to do crawlcrawlshuffle wen bigmama sleeps so plenny time to hav look.

He no under bed where he usual sleeps an not in da arsefetic shed.

I miss him.
He sad sak willywaver but he gud to me.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

"Things wot hang from the ceiling"

They're called mobiles Lauren. Mobiles. HTH

Oh dear Bonbon, I fear Goodger is going to decorate LaMyfolksaredicks room with mobiles now, like literally. Poor bubba.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Who would have thought to breathe during childbirth, this is why we will always need Lozza giving out tips

Breathe???? What the fuck. Omg I always thought it was hold your breath in as long as you can and then fart. Thanks god for Lauren’s Q&As. Long live Lauren!!

 

[DustyRose]

Run the story on my poorly daughter…speaks volumes on where her priority is - all for publicity!

Omg it’s getting bitter already. Also, when did she learn how to string a sentence together and spell correctly she 100% didn’t write this.
Also weird to ask press to run stories on your sick baby?

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

Thanks, just had to go and Google it, I never learned after Lorraine Kelly's growler. What is that face

Sorry to derail

I'm sorry but that shoddy wallpaper joining is giving me anxiety and don't get me started on the vinyl headboard. Although it would be wipe clean I suppose!

 

[Crowbag]

I have visions of La'bored being like Matilda. Walking to the library by herself to get books to read while Loz sits in front of the TV with her microwave meal, her parents shouting at her to just watch the tv and telling her she doesn't need an educhasun as they did OK without one

She won't know how to walk, she'll have a mini motorised cinema couch, narrow enough to fit through the library doors.
She can use the awful drinks holders to put her books in.

(not many libraries left sadly)

I'm now remembering how i loved going to the library when I was ickle.

View attachment 844462
No words

If even a single one of these is from a real person we have more to worry about than the world melting.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

View attachment 842567


BYG's experience of art is probably limited to "Tennis player scratching bum" and "Dogs playing pool" Feel free to take these out of context and play around with words, letters etc to make more appropriate to BYG's lifesyle and previous form, eg "Dogs playing with Poo" etc

I can think of things that hang from the ceiling and what she'd like but a) not appropriate in LaSwissroll's room and b) you'd need an iron girder to make sure it could take the weight!

Tell you what Lozza, go on IG and put some # in followed by babydecor or babybedroom or nurserydecor (even spelled it out for you so you don't make spelling errors) and see what comes up then go out and buy it yourself. #beggymare

Subtitled here for youse lot not abul to decode Lozza-esque

"I's bin mayde to feyl realy bad an' a crap Mum to babygurl becorse she aint go not moobiyles in 'er bedrum so den I fink youse lot aht therr shd get yourselvs to der toyshop an buy sum for her becorse I dunno wot she wonts an in anny cayse I's too ill to be finkin abaht stuff loike dat. LOL Oh and whiyl your bringin de stuff here you can brin sum more cleining sttuff for me sofa for dem shit stains anawl"

Have you noticed how she always does a LOL after she's been scrounging stuff as if to make it a joke instead of a blantent BEG exercise? Writing LOL after it Lozza does not make it funny, a joke or anything other than SCROUNGING LOL

What's the bet, she eventually decides to use some of her hideous pics, EXTRA large size, hanging from lil la`please someonefuckingsavemefromthesetwoMORONICcretinsSAVEMEsomeoneANYONE ..... all over available ceiling space, will have hanging photos of HERSELF!!! further traumatising this unfortunate baby

I think you've got it there Anna! She will fill the child's room with pictures of herself in her sheer bewfullness which is something skanky also does
Dear God, imagine the poor child waking up to moon-face mama looming down from every single wallspace

 

[JakeM]

One of Loz's distant relations (?)

#getaBrian
#GoLoz
#FreeOddbod

 

[Pom Bear]

Wonder if the writing on his phone case says ‘Ball Bag’? The name suits him

Nice to see him out at work, helping to financially support his family and not leeching off his girlfriend... Oh wait that looks suspiciously like he’s at home.....again!

I couldn't resist it loooooool xx.
Here he is with his Ball Bag phone case xx.

Love that song!

Spoiler: Sing along everybody!

Yungels your damn right
You can’t read Charlie’s mind
We’re fighting over pies
And heading for war
Well, I’m only perfect
He has gotta work it
Cause yunboy a I’m worth it
So don’t break the law

Your calls late
Big mistake
You gotta hang around the car park for as long as I take
Next time read my mind
And I’ll be good to you
We’re eating kitty Kats
Were only turning into tigers when we gotta fight back
Let’s go bewful gels out into the blue

Come take my hand, understand, that you can
Your my boy and I need you tonight
Come make my dreams honey hard as it seems
Loving me isn’t easy cause I
I I I I

I’m just a wind machine
Feeding my yun Charlie
Give me some corn for free
And I’m fine
I need a cob a day
'Stead of this preg-a-cay
What will the Scrunchies say?
This time!

I’ve been going crazy while you eat
Searching for a language that the two of us can speak
So Mr Charlie Drury how’s your sink?
Well, If it’s blocked I will be driven right to the brink

Yeah, she is obsessed with the comments about Larose being cute. She is cute, but as you say, they’re not going to say anything nasty (rightfully so) about a baby, are they?


Haha, only just noticed this! I’ve never known someone to have such small yet wide feet.


Glad to see you back

Thank you very much xx.
It's good to be back on again and I really enjoyed your song Loz the boot xx

 

[Blowup80]

Right I've been away for ages, well not off Tattle but from BYG. I have a scroll now and again.
So she is now a agony aunt to young mothers. How lovely. There will be babies cooking under duvets up and down the UK as we speak.
Has he ball gone?

 

[MrsGripperStebson]

He pushed out a begging message to expired OF subscribers last week offering discounts

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww . Glad we don't have scratch and sniff!

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

She sent me a photo of the 'souls' all those shoes are fit for is the bin

View attachment 867861back trying to sell hellofresh again but she saw Poms beautiful portrait so now only speaks wuth her eyes shut

I come onto this thread an my brian automatically switches to Lozza Mode now - I genuinely read the caption as Hell Of Fresh Yuk

 

[geordiegirl]

look at where the comma is and there is a space after them in both the question and answer. Busted Lozza! We know you can’t spell and grammar is not your thing

and she contacted a homeopathy you know; not a homeopathic…

 

[Crowbag]

I take it she means she is going to Dubai? Her spelling gets worse, they must be split, she ll leave the kid with him and go back to making money as a human toilet

Yep, we know why she 'went dubia' last time.
The rent needs paying and she has fuck all.

More cheap negligees in hotel corridors loz?
Do they know what you now look like?
Absolutely rock bottom.
It's literally gone to shit hasn't it loz. Or gone to be shat on.