Late Diagnosis ADHD/ADD (Women) #2

[imtakingabath]

The ADHD tax is so real Just had a notification that I’ve been charged tor a veg box…. I was supposed to cancel the subscription in 2020. Every four weeks I log in and skip the deliveries, because you can’t cancel online you have to call and I would rather peel my skin off than make a phone call, so here we are four years later awaiting yet another silly overpriced box of vegetables I will forget are in the fridge. I’ve basically ordered a £16 box of compost. Happens every month and I will learn nothing from this experience

Could you try cancelling via email if you find an email address for customer services?! Or maybe one of those live online chat things?

 

[testingonetwothreefoiur]

I told my psych that I had a very superficial relationship with my parents and their view of me as a child was going to paint a very different picture to the reality and he was OK with that. I also have limited memories of my childhood and a definitely undiagnosed mother who doesn't "believe" in ADHD. A very common scenario. That didn't impede a diagnosis as he had a lot to work with going on present-day difficulties alone.

 

[unidentified]

I have my assessment in the morning and I have no clue what to even say. I feel like everything has got out my head about what makes me think I’m adhd

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I had a little cry at the GP after a difficult morning. He was good, the questionnaire that I did on the THINK ADHD website was enough for them to do a referral for me and then go down the Right to Choose path… he said there’s obviously a big waitlist but I didn’t ask how long.

 

[Pjta]

The fact that this meant so much to you and you still managed to miss it screams ADHD to me.

Try not to beat yourself up about it, we don’t mean to do it.

Thank you! So annoying I felt like a weight had been lifted when I booked the appointment and felt so down after, I thought this is it finally going to sort my life out, but third time lucky it is instead! X

 

[Hollaaa]

I think it's more because there weren't the same diagnostic criteria 40 years ago, which I know I can't do much about, but it still upsets me that I've struggled fairly needlessly.

 

[unidentified]

saw this earlier and wheeeew

I absolutely believe that neurodiversity is the sixth sense. That intuition is never wrong

 

[kingseven]

Hi everyone. I've just started the process of seeing if I have ADHD. I'm going privately via the medical insurance I get through work so it's taking days rather than years, but I'm going to have to speak to my parents about it soon as the psychiatrist wants correlation from someone who has known me since childhood.

I'm going to try very hard to frame it as looking for help for the future rather than blame for the past, but does anyone have any tips for that conversation, please?

I didn’t bring anyone from my childhood and also couldn’t find old school reports but I was just asked questions on my childhood instead. I took my boss with me to my appointment instead and they answered questions about my current difficulties.

 

[imtakingabath]

This isn't strictly on topic, but as it's hereditary, I'm guessing other people here will also have children with ADHD. I suspect my 5 year old son has ADHD and he has recently started swimming lessons in a private group setting. His behaviour has been quite difficult to manage, as he loses focus, doesn't listen to/follow instructions, sometimes tries to get out the pool or gets restless and ends up moving around the edge of the pool when he's supposed to be waiting his turn patiently at the side of the pool. Was just wondering if anyone else has struggled with similar and if they had any advice? The swim school have asked if I would get in the pool with him this week, which is fine, but just wondering how it is likely to go long term!

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Hi everyone. I've just started the process of seeing if I have ADHD. I'm going privately via the medical insurance I get through work so it's taking days rather than years, but I'm going to have to speak to my parents about it soon as the psychiatrist wants correlation from someone who has known me since childhood.

I'm going to try very hard to frame it as looking for help for the future rather than blame for the past, but does anyone have any tips for that conversation, please?

 

[Hollaaa]

If it's anything like mine was, they will really guide you through it and put you at your ease so all you have to do is be yourself and answer as honestly as you can. The psychiatrist I saw could also tell when I was masking and asked me to pause and really think a couple of times, which was super-helpful. I hope your experience is positive and you get the outcome you're looking for. And some sleep tonight, too.

 

[peekachu]

it’s emotional saying it out loud to others isn’t it.
if you go down the route of psychiatry uk it’s quick! I was referred end of Feb and diagnosed last week and that was only that long because I couldn’t decide on a practitioner then waited for a particular one.

Oh wow, that’s extremely quick! I’ve been waiting since August 2023 for an ADHD appointment with Psychiatry UK (I was originally referred May 2022 via the NHS route, which now has a 5-7 year waiting list in my area).

How quickly you are seen seems to depend on your personal circumstances, health history, age, dependents, location, etc.

I hope this doesn’t sound negative at all, I just want to highlight that the waiting time can vary from person to person, so it’s best to manage your expectations as for many people it can be a very long process.

 

[Trauma Frotters]

Bit belated but i thought that was an excellent post PunkyMonkey, thank you

 

[Meg78]

Same and I feel like I'm constantly texting afterwards to clear up things I've said. Like I even find myself annoying I don't know how anyone puts up with me! Eg last week saying goodbye at the school dropping kids off she said "bye have a great day" I reply "Hi" or she says "enjoy swimming" I reply "you too" when she's not going I am just weird stuff. I've tried meditating so I slow down and actually think about what people are saying and how to answer but it just doesn't help.

Have you ever had a friend who also is, or suspected to be adhd? The few I’ve met are an instant click and I never feel like I’m on eggshells in the same way

 

[Pjta]

Hi I really need some advice! It's stupid really because I know what I need to do but basically my daughter's school called me in to say they wanted to send her for a adhd/asd check. We have had our first phone call and the doctor has accepted her now waiting for the meeting date. When looking into autism / adhd I realised I think this is what I have. I've got major OCD, been on sertraline for anxiety for 8 years and always struggled with day to day life I just feel like I'm drowning constantly and don't stop doing things yet get nothing done. So I was productive and booked myself a doctors appt, my doctors have a system where unless it's an emergency and you need an appt that day they book you in for like 4 weeks time for a telephone appt. Well by the time they called I missed the call even though it was on my calendar so I rang back really embarrassed and booked another appt waited a month and same thing happened it was now the summer holidays and I missed the call. I'm too embarrassed to ring back again and say I've missed it again it's been months. Really can't afford a private appt I know I need to sort this but I'm just so rubbish with appointments.

 

[Pjta]

My mum could be the poster child for ADHD tbh. I’ve mentioned it to my dad, with my mum I think there’s almost no point mentioning it, she constantly says “would you change me though?” In a very I am what I am way.

When I was younger and would reflect on my childhood I always thought my mum had close to a nervous breakdown at one point, but I’m not sure now, however, I do think at one point she was definitely depressed. But being more aware of what ADHD symptoms are and how they display in women I can see how my mum could be diagnosed in a heartbeat.

it was always a running joke in my house that we’d never had a dinner made by my mum that wasn’t burnt, which is pretty true - but now I think well yeah, she gets so distracted she could never remember that our dinner was on and the next thing you know: burnt fish fingers.

It's really sad to think of our loved ones going through a lifetime of struggle and thinking it's just the way they are isn't it.

I still haven't called the doctors back since I missed my last two appointments but I am pretty confident I have adhd/ autism and I feel so sad for myself when I remember things but I keep laughing because it is so bloody obvious and my mum is a psychiatrist. I guess when you know someone it's harder to see as she didn't know me any other way? It's only since I moved out and started my own family, my sons school called me in about getting him a referral, she had said she thinks I am on the spectrum / adhd.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Pjta People are bloody annoying. It's why I limit my contact with them. Someone recently expressed their surprise that I don't read the Sunday papers as if I was failing in life by not doing so! So strange. You're following your instinct for yourself & your kids which makes perfect sense. Families eh?

 

[Hollaaa]

I think you have 3 options with this one, either help from technology (reminders/alarms/calendars), help from a friend/relative to remind you, or take you (if that's what it takes), or help from the practice - explain what the situation is, apologise and see if they do anything for people with memory issues to help them remember and get to appointments?

 

[veevee04]

Just been diagnosed with this from a doctor. I wasn't seeking a diagnosis for ADHD and it took him a good hour to convince me. I'm Autistic and ADHD which seems like a shit combo I'm scared to be fully medicated incase the autistic traits get stronger

 

[kingseven]

I’m hoping I’m not the only one that post-diagnosis ‘diagnoses’ fictional characters?

Maria VonTrapp is nailed on imo.