I just wanted to reply to a poster on the other thread who gave some good advice with regards to having people like KP in your life but also coming from a different angle, then the thread closed
so here goes.
I think it’s very sound advice. Unfortunately some of us adore these parents and many of us don’t know it’s narcism, or other MH issues often until much later, if ever. I appreciate they don’t deserve it. Mine was my father, I was a daddy’s girl, I love my mother dearly but my brother needed her time more being disabled and I completely understood that he was my world and likewise he adored our father.
It was very difficult for my mother to stand up to him and there wasn’t the help back then. He was never violent it was all mental abuse and the truth is she also loved him. Many people are in these situations and often feel sorry for the narcissist, no doubt because many have sob stories as KP has and often their partner wants to be the knight in shinning armour making it better for them, thinking they will change, they never do as they don‘t see any wrong in what they do. So anyone thinking KP will change if she gets a harsher punishment I think will be disappointed it’s not going to happen, that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have a harsher punishment far from it, she certainly deserves it with all her driving offences.
It‘s very difficult to explain especially on paper and I appreciate I don’t know for sure but the glimpses I see of Princess you can see she adores her mother and perhaps Junior finds it easier to distance himself than Princess. I also recognise the games KP plays, like buying Princess a puppy that she so wants, then giving it away. It‘s all about control, you forever feel you’re on the end of a yo-yo. I wouldn’t be surprised if KP bought the puppy knowing PA didn’t want the responsibility of one himself but thought it would give her some control over his and Emily’s life, by forcing the puppy on them when she was on her holiday/travel shows and that would give her some sort of win in her head. When it didn’t work she took it out on Princess by giving her dog away. Who does that to a child they supposedly love certainly not a wonderful mother, it was beyond cruel.
Many of us who’ve had a narcissistic parent/partner/person in their life sadly know to well their traits and the control games they play.
I definitely think therapy is the way to go but sadly our NHS is under so much strain that’s easier said than done but there are some private places out there that charge a minimal amount. One thing I think that’s very important is anyone in these situations it’s not your fault, you’ve done nothing wrong it’s them and that’s so important to hold onto.
Sending love and hugs to all who need it
Also KP is still a c*nt, god I hate that word but sometimes needs must!
