Kate Lawler #3 Didn’t want a baby but gave it a go, Night Nanny helps to soften the blow.

[smellyfootballboots]

Does anyone want to hear it?! Well, in my experience no they don't. Which drove me to attempt to take my own life. If I had more support from the people I reached out to initially and they had wanted to hear my struggles, I may have felt validated enough to seek professional help. Sorry but your comment is just completely unhelpful and lacking insight into the realities of PND

(I'm not the poster you responded to but this comment really got to me!)

You may see my comment as unhelpful, but it is true. If you are not OK - seek help. There is no shame in doing so - It is out there waiting for you. Wallowing, never helped anyone. A quick google tells me that there is a lot help out there if you want and need it.

As far as I am aware, I did not have PND - but I was terribly lonely (resentful even) being at home with the baby 24/7 so I got off my arse and changed things for the better; I 100% guarantee you that if I had PND then I would have reached out to my health visitor, my doctor, the bloody Samaritans if I felt it would help.

I am sorry this happened to you and I am genuinely sorry no one could see what was happening before you got to that point.

 

[lalalanded]

You may see my comment as unhelpful, but it is true. If you are not OK - seek help. There is no shame in doing so - It is out there waiting for you. Wallowing, never helped anyone. A quick google tells me that there is a lot help out there if you want and need it.

As far as I am aware, I did not have PND - but I was terribly lonely (resentful even) being at home with the baby 24/7 so I got off my arse and changed things for the better; I 100% guarantee you that if I had PND then I would have reached out to my health visitor, my doctor, the bloody Samaritans if I felt it would help.

I am sorry this happened to you and I am genuinely sorry no one could see what was happening before you got to that point.

Your comments throughout this whole thread have been patronising, unhelpful and just wrong.

 

[smellyfootballboots]

You’re refreshingly rude, I wouldn’t even have needed your earlier posts about food to tell you’re not British Still rude tho lol.

I was born in London and spent 25 year living in England. My mother is Dutch and I have lived in Spain for over 20 years. Here we take MH seriously but we don't allow people to wallow. It is matter of fact.

It is NOT OK to feel tit all continuously. But it IS OK to do something about it.

 

[bumblebees19]

You may see my comment as unhelpful, but it is true. If you are not OK - seek help. There is no shame in doing so - It is out there waiting for you. Wallowing, never helped anyone. A quick google tells me that there is a lot help out there if you want and need it.

As far as I am aware, I did not have PND - but I was terribly lonely (resentful even) being at home with the baby 24/7 so I got off my arse and changed things for the better; I 100% guarantee you that if I had PND then I would have reached out to my health visitor, my doctor, the bloody Samaritans if I felt it would help.

I am sorry this happened to you and I am genuinely sorry no one could see what was happening before you got to that point.

Depression, PND or otherwise, is debilitating. There is no way any of us can truly predict how we would act in the depths of depression. Sometimes reaching out is the hardest thing to do.

 

[lalalanded]

Depression, PND or otherwise, is debilitating. There is no way any of us can truly predict how we would act in the depths of depression. Sometimes reaching out is the hardest thing to do.

When PND is severe, many women do not even realise they are unwell. Many genuinely believe their child and family would be better off without them. It's not 'wallowing' - it is very real, very dangerous and shouldn't be written off. Would you tell a drug addict 'just say no'?

 

[littlepup]

I 100% guarantee you that if I had PND then I would have reached out ....

This comment shows a total lack of understanding of PND.

 

[smellyfootballboots]

This comment shows a total lack of understanding of PND.

Why am I expected to have an understanding of something I never had? When has Kate been diagnosed with PND and made it public?

Also, when did this thread become the PND discussion thread?

These angry faces I keep getting all come from my comment where I said 'It is not OK to not be OK" - I stand by my point. If you are genuinely feeling 'not OK with your mental health' then you must seek help. - Barking on Social media or being super sensitive on a Kate Lawler thread on a gossip forum will not help you.

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Why am I expected to have an understanding of something I never had? When has Kate been diagnosed with PND and made it public?

Also, when did this thread become the PND discussion thread?

These angry faces I keep getting all come from my comment where I said 'It is not OK to not be OK" - I stand by my point. If you are genuinely feeling 'not OK with your mental health' then you must seek help. - Barking on Social media or being super sensitive on a Kate Lawler thread on a gossip forum will not help you.

The point is if you’ve never had any experience of PND, and I’m really glad you haven’t, then don’t make sweeping statements or pointless empty comments that oversimplify something really complex and misunderstood. I wouldn’t presume to know how I would cope with cancer treatment or losing a limb, so I respect the lived experience of those that have rather than being rude and patronising in detailing how I think someone should handle or respond to that challenge.

PND is bleeping awful. There is a reason suicide is the leading cause of maternal death in pregnancy & the first year after birth.

 

[lalalanded]

Why am I expected to have an understanding of something I never had? When has Kate been diagnosed with PND and made it public?

Also, when did this thread become the PND discussion thread?

These angry faces I keep getting all come from my comment where I said 'It is not OK to not be OK" - I stand by my point. If you are genuinely feeling 'not OK with your mental health' then you must seek help. - Barking on Social media or being super sensitive on a Kate Lawler thread on a gossip forum will not help you.

It's called empathy, you don't have to have been through it yourself.

Kate has said on Instagram that she's seeing a counsellor so she has asked for help.

 

[LoonyLeopard]

Hallelujah!!!

She got what she was after ....now let this be the end of the relentless pumping stories!

 

[Howdy]

Hallelujah!!!

She got what she was after ....now let this be the end of the relentless pumping stories!

Sounds like her pumping journey was almost over so not sure the purpose of her being gifted this very expensive pump, it'll end up in the back of a cupboard soon. Hey ho.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

Would you tell a drug addict 'just say no'?

Judging by the previous posts, I'm not convinced they wouldn't

Anywayyyyyyy, flower nipples, weird? Yes? Weirder than visible nipples or no nipples? If you want to protect your baby's privacy, don't film them bathing or film higher up, that feels like the options. Not flower nipples. Never flower nipples.

 

[Nursty]

Sounds like her pumping journey was almost over so not sure the purpose of her being gifted this very expensive pump, it'll end up in the back of a cupboard soon. Hey ho.

What is the point in her accepting that pump when she's already storied that she gets nothing out anymore? What a waste.

 

[Lico]

Hallelujah!!!

She got what she was after ....now let this be the end of the relentless pumping stories!

Bloody hell. Things have come on since the crappy breast pump i had 21 years ago. It's like a factory line there with pumps and bags and all sorts.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

FYI - mental health care in the UK is really really tit. Maternal mental health too. So many people slip through the net. It is not an active choice to wallow. FWIW, I literally begged, pleaded and screamed for help. I begged to be reported to social services at one point. No one helped me. I had two health visitors visit me, promise help then disappear and never contacted me again.

I really wish we were all so resillient we could get through any depression, and if we werent, that there was consistent and accessible support in place for all. There isnt. What we can do, is show some empathy.

 

[smellyfootballboots]

FYI - mental health care in the UK is really really tit. Maternal mental health too. So many people slip through the net. It is not an active choice to wallow. FWIW, I literally begged, pleaded and screamed for help. I begged to be reported to social services at one point. No one helped me. I had two health visitors visit me, promise help then disappear and never contacted me again.

I really wish we were all so resillient we could get through any depression, and if we werent, that there was consistent and accessible support in place for all. There isnt. What we can do, is show some empathy.

And I have. If these comments were on the PND thread or the BF thread and I was reading them I'd be 100% on board. But they are not. they on the KL thread and she's a head.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

And I have. If these comments were on the PND thread or the BF thread and I was reading them I'd be 100% on board. But they are not. they on the KL thread and she's a head.

Threads do go slightly off topic at times. Its natural it happens. People resonate with areas of discussion. Just because Kate has been acting a head, doesn't mean other areas of conversation need to be shut down. These influencers always spark debate and conversations.

(Just to add - me mentioning empathy wasnt aimed at you. I was speaking generally. I think we could all do with more patience and empathy lately)

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

Bloody hell. Things have come on since the crappy breast pump i had 21 years ago. It's like a factory line there with pumps and bags and all sorts.

Pumps are very fancy and so much easier now! I only pumped one bottle worth a day just so they wouldn't refuse it when they had to go to nursery but I just did hand pumping - literally milked myself! Got loads out!

 

[NB14]

PNS is very complex and I don’t think sweeping statements should be made, primarily because it affects women in different ways. I suffered after the birth of my third, never thought it would happen to me, never experienced a hint of it with my first 2, loved every second and everything was totally natural, fed and bonded perfectly. A few weeks after my third was born I became suicidal, it was a really rough time, GP was pretty helpful although counselling personally didn’t help me, medication helped and the support of family and friends and doing mindfulness. A friend of mine suffered PND, very different symptoms to me really and she didn’t choose the medication route but had counselling and I think CBT and that helped her so 2 different approaches to it really. I think if you had asked my group of friends which one of us might suffer with PND I would have been bottom of the list....you just never know if it might happen to you. Saying this I would never have chosen to share my experience with anyone outside of my close family and friendship group, I choose to deal with it myself and have some professional help, well pills! Weirdly it kind of never goes away, I still have pangs of guilt over it that my third child didn’t get the same experience of me as a Mum than my other two did if that makes sense?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I still have pangs of guilt over it that my third child didn’t get the same experience of me as a Mum than my other two did if that makes sense?

Yes, 100%. I would do anything to go back and redo those early years with the knowledge I have now. Thats why its so sad to see other women struggle, cant help but see yourself in them.