Jessie and Bebe Cave

[Posy Parker]

Anyone listened to Alfie's podcast this week? He spends the first 20 mins talking about Jessie being pregnant. He said that whilst it is happy news, it's Jessie's dream to have a big family and there will probably be a 5th. He also said him and Jessie always fight about who is going to cook for the kids as they want to be the one to nourish them. I don't think I've ever seen either of them cook. They always eat raw food or processed junk.

 

[maytoseptember]

I firmly believe Jessie has babies to distract from her very deep issues and unhappiness. She’s the most tense person, you can see and hear it in everything she does, she has the food issues, the control issues, she broadcast her grief for her brother into a book deal within a relatively short time of that happening, the dependence on her mother and her sister despite the fact she’s in her mid thirties. I really feel for her - but I also think she’s a selfish woman child who needs so much help. It’s weird. I should probably just unfollow her!

Very eloquently put and I couldn’t agree more. Woman-child is exactly it. The wacky mismatched, outfits, perpetual pigtails and cartoon drawings are all so childlike. It’s so peculiar.

I just had to Google her age - nearly 35

 

[17daize]

Ha I hope he’s getting 0 action. Chuckling at the thought that they both had this assumption that Aussie women would be on him like flies on shit. I really suspect that’s not the case - the thing about the child side of the deal is that it’s aged him terribly. Jessie was probs secretly confident about that

 

[restmyeyes]

Hello everyone! I've been following the thread and wanted to join.
I've thought about this - when one person is a creative in a risky job, but the other person in the relationship is the breadwinner, as in Alfie's situation. I wonder if it means the creative won't try as hard, or if it means they won't be as 'commercial' - but it surely makes a difference to their artistic choices, when money isn't driving them in the same way?

I had to stop watching the podcast (I used to follow it on YouTube) because I don't think they reflect what it is really like to be an actor or writer in London. Their 'struggle' isn't the same as others, and I felt, weirdly perhaps, that it would have an adverse on my own work ethic. They did appeal to me in the way no other podcasters, did though.

Also, the way they talk about food is triggering. When they mentioned Nicole Ritchie (a while back now), my reaction was 'I thought we were past this!'
They don't care about triggering people, or they'd preface the podcast with a little and well-meant warning.

 

[Heloo]

Jessie's pregnant again? I'm so shocked!

 

[Otterley]

I think being in the acting world has probably exacerbated the body image issues/diet culture mentality Jessie already had. There is so much pressure on women to be unnaturally thin. Jessie seems to have leaned into that rather than examining her own neurosis.

I felt a huge responsibility when I became a parent, not to pass on my disordered thoughts around food and body image to my children. It was hard work to heal from that but I was desperate to break the cycle. I’m not sure Jessie sees things in the same way. Especially given some of her comments around her daughter’s body shape/size.

I feel like Jessie doesn’t actually see anything concerning about her views on food and body image. She doesn’t appear aware of it at all.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Maybe she’s allowed to have as many as she likes if they’re named after Liverpool players. Glad baby is here safely anyway!

 

[Hubrisand]

Brutal she’s codependent as it is but regardless, the fact he has just left her on her own with a newborn and gallivanted to the other side of the world, during the most fragile time in a child’s life, is unforgivable. I’d be too embarrassed to admit it if I were her. Does she honestly think this behaviour is normal?! It’s not even like he could get home relatively easily if he had to. What if it’d been critical? Or heaven forbid, the baby didn’t make it? It’s actually put me off her massively, the fact she is so blatantly tolerating such disrespect and potentially influencing fans to do the same.

I don’t think it’s even a matter of tolerating it, it seems like she actively encouraged/persuaded Alfie to go - similar to how she mentioned that she paid for him to have a holiday in Portugal while they moved into a new flat because she thought it would be easier/more efficient without him. The sleeping around/hall pass deal thing obviously seems to be his own idea though

 

[PennyEleven]

Perfectly reasonably to hide the kids faces, they can't really consent to their image being published and it's of no benefit to anyone. Katherine Ryan does the same with her child and it would be my preferred stance. We are not owed access to these children.

I feel like for a family where they got coronavirus and everything they seem cavalier about the mask restrictions lifting in the UK.

 

[17daize]

I can't imagine having that many kids the mere thought of it makes me want to cry! I struggle with 2! Wonder if she has any help or anything?

Seems as though her mum helps a lot.

@blueberriesarenice I agree that her work output is all “okay”. I went to see her show after it had been running for aaages and was struck by how there was still so much room for improvement after all that time. I thought her book was like Jaqueline Wilson for adults, easy to rush through with the basic romance drama thread. I also strongly sensed that she’d tried to emulate the style of some recent successful fiction (My Year of Rest and Relaxation).

The many many kids working mama thing - is she afraid of really allowing herself time to make her maximum effort in work because she doesn’t want to reveal the reality that she’s just not that good? Also agree that Alfie is a negging shit and she deserves much better. I don’t think he’s remotely good looking but she clearly has this belief that he’s some total adonis and she must preserve whatever relationship she is lucky enough to have with him. To be fair though I get the impression that dynamic is attractive to her.

 

[Sprezza]

That first one is quite clearly wrong/an example of Margot being badly behaved or at least sneaky but I didn’t like how Jessie seemed to make it seem like the second one was an example Margot being ‘naughty’. Child’s father promised her a pound but doesn’t end up giving it to her, a while later child remembers this promise and asks father for pound, father freely hands over £10 note instead because he can’t be bothered to look for a pound, child goes to school and spends the £10. Obviously giving it to another child in exchange for getting her way during a game is a massive waste of money but she was simply given money to spend as she pleased and ended up spending it as she pleased… Fault for the lost money obviously falls entirely with both parents not the child, Alfie for handing the tenner and both of them for not ensuring she knows the proper value of money before giving her money in general.

On another note, seems like Jessie has probably given birth already or in the process of doing so given her uncharacteristic Instagram absence in the last 2 days or so. Hope it went/ is going well

I swear she has the quickest pregnancies! Feels like she only just had Tenn!

 

[Alansbigplate]

that she thinks a 7lb baby is big is baffling

 

[kittymeowlondon]

If Jessie reads that she’ll be steadfast in planning a 5th. It appears to matter a lot to her how she is perceived and for some strange reason she wants to be perceived as having a big family!? Strange and selfish to me but pretty common especially in cleb circles. I think others are right about contraception - she’ll have a fear of weight gain and there’s the draw of breastfeeding which keeps weight off too.

4 children is too much imo - as someone else said how are the older ones going to get the attention they need even with the supportive extended family? If Alfie was a full time dad on top of his part time comedy duties then fine but that seems to be far from reality.

Alfie is always either playing football manager in his attic
recording his self-indulgent podcast
wanking into a mirror
or practising his pick up eyes/lines
(I mentioned earlier in this thread he flirted with me at his gig jessie was at)
I just wonder what the condition alfie said was to having this baby
as the last one his condition was that he could shag whoever he wanted on tour in australia
then covid cancelled the tour
excited for one of them to let it slip...

 

[Hubrisand]

Na, they definitely don’t live together - they often talked about Bebe arriving just that morning or when she ‘came over’ the other day (and this has all been since the lockdown). I think even in the previous lockdowns before they’d moved (and before baby was born so the under 1 thing didn’t apply) they were also clearly breaking the rules. I just find the whole thing incredibly hypocritical after they urged people to stay safe and follow the rules etc when the baby was ill.

That being said, I do enjoy listening to Jessie and while I find some things that Alfie has said quite questionable, I would quite enjoy a podcast hosted by the two of them. The sister thing was fun to listen to for a while but it’s becoming quite bland now and I’m honestly a bit sick of listening to Bebe and would prefer a podcast without her tbh.

I think someone earlier said something about Bebe being quite knowledgeable and showing Jessie up but honestly I think it’s just a tone thing - Bebe says her takes with such confidence even when it’s complete BS and the self assuredness makes her come across as more well read etc when in reality she’s parroting truisms (but phrasing it in a way that makes it seem unique) or saying things that are blatantly incorrect but with such confidence that it goes unquestioned (eg when she said lactose was an enzyme not a sugar and called lactase the sugar and somehow tried to suggest that lactose has something to do with cow’s having 4 stomachs that was quite funny).

Jessie comes across as much more unsure of herself and less confident when she says things so it almost creates an illusion of cluelessness when in reality she’s just being more humble when voicing her takes.

 

[Heloo]

My bet is that one of her parents/family did her coursework for her. Happens all the time.
She is sooo privileged and never reflects on it. Even the fact that all of her siblings were able to just do what they want! Must be nice.

Saw her first trigger warning on Instagram directing to the guardian article She does look lovely in the pics, and it’s sad that her body image takes up so much time in her mind.

That's an interesting thought! It's true - I personally think she has a great lifestyle by the sounds of it. I was first introduced to the new era Jessie Cave on an early podcast episode where she was crying about not being able to take maternity leave. I felt sorry for her thinking she'd be flat out working out of the house everyday after the baby. Now I'm not suggesting writing a book and her other projects aren't hard work but I'd quite enjoy a working from home lifestyle with the odd couple of days /weeks away filming. Even photoshoots with her children there with her, I think she has a nice deal! I agree that the lack of recognition of her privilege can be annoying. Most are back in their 9-5's after children, not able to keep pursuing dreams and Creating whatever she wants to, with a VERY appreciative and loving fan base who pretty much support whatever she puts out from the look of things. Obviously she worked hard to create the lifestyle she has, but it wasn't just hard work that played a factor in it

 

[jazzmonster]

It all just sounds so exhausting. That “girlfriend role”, four small kids and a house bursting at the seams with brightly coloured stuff. That’s why I unfollowed on IG, it was stressing me out just to look at it.

 

[maytoseptember]

This is so gross, I know things are played up for laughs but talking like that about the woman who has carried and birthed 3 of your children is disgusting

What‘s that old saying, many a true word said in jest? Gross.

 

[4dominoes]

Is anyone gonna read Jessie's book? I wasn't going to because I guess I fell for the marketing of it as a chick flick but since she said it's definitely not that I'm slightly intrigued. Worried I'll just hate it though.

I’ve preordered. I’ve really liked Jessie’s one woman shows and think she is a huge talent so I have reasonably high expectations but tbh even if I don’t love it I’m happy to support because I really like the content she puts out for free

 

[ooh scandalous]

Did anyone else laugh at the irony in her latest podcast about her claiming to have OCD, like she’s the tidiest person? How on Earth can she claim to be organised and like things “just so” when her flat is such a car crash.

 

[Owlish]

Love that there’s some fellow Maintenance Phase fans here!! I don’t know anyone else who listens IRL

I found the pregnancy podcast episode with Bebe quite difficult to listen to. I liked how open Bebe was about her abortion. But I just found their discussions about how special and incredible their family relationships a bit nauseating.

I know I’ve said this before but they seem to think it’s shockingly rare to have lots of siblings, have a much younger sibling or have children in your twenties . I do like their content in general but their constant banging on about how unusual and different their relationships are just makes me want to shout “YOU’RE NOT THAT SPECIAL!!!!”