Jessie and Bebe Cave

[Sprezza]

Seems they are intent this episode on painting a picture of their childhood as some impoverished hand to mouth existence
They lived in a tiny house, all crammed into one room and didn't have any nice things
Interspersed with Bebe's mention of how their dad took them on holiday to Paris
Somehow I'm not buying it

 

[Snazzycat]

How many 'look how great I look whilst breastfeeding and holding my baby' pictures can a woman take, I'm finding it super annoying now!

 

[ooh scandalous]

I’m surprised there’s not more tattle bitching. She annoys me no end, I just finished listening to her latest podcast. She hadn’t even bothered to educate herself even lightly on “cry it out” methods. Instead just making a lazy assumption it must mean leaving your baby to scream endlessly, thus unfairly judging other mums and using it to highlight her ever-present insecurity as she chirps on about delighting in knowing how much her children need her. She’s really trying to fill a void with having so many children isn’t she. It’s quite sad really. Alfie will inevitably leave her (again) and she’ll be very miserable and lonely with children who depend entirely upon her every second of the day. Oh and her house is an absolute PIT!

 

[LoopyLou47]

she said she trained her forehead not to move aged 16 in the latest pod

What a waste of time

 

[maytoseptember]

Donny is cutesy middle class, Margot is quirky posh-girl, Tennessee is like what a US reality star would name their kid and Becker is British chav. But yeah she'll probably change it again soon.

My thoughts exactly! I’m not saying sibling names need to be matchy-matchy, but there’s something so incoherent about those names as a set.

 

[Topaz]

I definitely think it galls her - on one of the podcasts she was saying that she sometimes thinks 'is he even my boyfriend? Do you want to be here even after 3 kids?' type of thing. The kids do give the illusion of security but the ultimate proof to the world that Alfie isn't just there by force for someone quite anal like Jessie is the marriage. I bet she'll wear him down eventually!

I agree, although if she doesn't get a wedding out of him she'll probably negotiate a 4th child instead!

Just read the guardian article. I'm so dismayed that she calls herself a "fat actress" even if she believes that's how she's perceived. She's so slim with a beautiful figure and as the interviewer noted, phenomenal bone structure. She posted a pic on insta the other day wearing jeans and looked terrific, especially having given birth a few months ago. I've just never thought of her as curvy, I guess that's how it felt in the acting world 10+ years ago and next to other Potter actresses but I couldn't imagine a casting director thinking of Jessie to play a 'bigger' girl.

Tried and failed to ETA - I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming Jessie, it's not her fault she feels the way she feels or has a hang-up about this. It's really frustrating and disgusting that the entertainment industry still creates negative body issues even in a thin 30-something parent. I feel so bad for Jessie that she still feels the way she felt on set when she was 23

 

[nectarinenihilism]

Are any of you guys patrons? I really enjoy their stuff but just feel they don't post enough. Also agreed on the Bebe confessions to admit that during a pandemic as well, just so gross. I'm almost fascinated by how strange they are - the eclectic dress sense, pattern and colour clashing for days, strange lust for Bebe by Alfie and Jessie's youtube videos which to me are so niche and odd but funnily addictive to watch lol. I do wonder what their platform would have been like without Jessie's HP background though..

Also I keep seeing references about them being middle class. Has anyone got more info on that? I know they're from Ealing which is where I live and it's got its ni er parts but I wouldn't call it super affluent. Also Jessie mentions needing to sell her doddles to pay rent ect so seems they are struggling - but at the same time have that soho coffee vibe to them and clearly able to survive without a traditional job so that makes me curious too

I swear I’ve heard Jessie talking about being from Herne Hill because she says it like Harn Hill and i always think about when I’m nearby?

Not one bit of that family comes across as middle class. That she has lots of small children, wafting around doing a bit of work here and there, the off and on again boyfriend and the flat… it reminds me of that thing - what’s classy if you’re rich but trashy if you’re poor. To be clear that isn’t my view that people who are like this are trashy. Just find it curious

I used to follow Jessie and I’ve seen some of her shows but I’ve come to find her insufferable when they started the podcasts - that stuff needed so many trigger warnings. I also find it extremely weird that she only really plays herself in things, and anything she produces is basically her life story? Surprise surprise, the book has basically the same name as her shows and is about … her life! Thinly disguised as fiction…

 

[blatherer]

Funny, I actually thought she showed some growth and development with her recent ig post about her attitude towards exercise. I guess it's one step forward, two steps back

there's something quite bleak about her reading all her goodreads reviews

 

[Smithsmile]

Body checking / highlighting her ‘snap back’ so hard in the paperback unboxing video

 

[Owlish]

Just listening to the most recent episode of WIK. I really didn’t like her fear-mongering comments about the dangers of having a water birth. Especially as she’s so uninformed about the risks/benefits of other interventions in labour.

These kinds of throwaway comments that can cause anxiety in pregnant women.

 

[marabac]

That’s because you actually have to be a likeable person and not alienate your audience to be successful in stand up comedy. Hence why Alfie has never and will never make it into the big leagues. He’s probably only still got any semblance of a career because of the association with Jessie and exposure she gives him. I honestly don’t think he’d still be with her otherwise, and he’s still managed to manipulate some sort of “deal” out of her whereby he doesn’t have to fully commit. You can see it in their body language and interactions how much she worships him and how disinterested he is by comparison. It makes me sad for her but even more sorry for those poor children. They are always the real victims of any kind of dysfunctional relationship.

It's So frustrating to see Alfie, who gives so many red flags as basically a classic charming abuser, having this new found career progression and tv deals and awards. The guy lives the easiest life possible and no one mentions it on main, I got a steer over here - what a relief to find people calling this out...

Jessie too, she needs to be careful because she has a balance to strike. she needs to produce content but she can't produce too much before people realise how basic, ignorant and narcissistic she really is - it's already pretty clear...

 

[Dustye]

Maybe she’s weary after her r*pe experience when she was a teen I'm thinking! She often plays it down but it must have impacted her more than she’s aware of.

I must say though I really wish she was more world aware and realised some mums HAVE to use childcare/clubs because the HAVE to go back to work. Traditional office work without the luxury of being able to work from home with seemingly full time help from their mums! I’d definitely appreciate if she stopped referring to club mums as a phenomenon and understand it’s just normal

Agreed! No family so I have to use f-t childcare. Admittedly I do work from home for much of the week but there's no way I could work with a toddler around - when I've had to because he's been home poorly my laptop ended up covered in peanut butter and my boss gave me a bollocking for not having a 'childcare plan B'

 

[maytoseptember]

Yes Jessie, we know you’ve made an entire career and identity out of getting knocked up during a one night stand. One day Donnie will know this though, and think that his entire existence is the butt of some joke.

This edgelord card is pretty horrible.

A friend of mine was genuinely fucked up by her parents’ dysfunctional relationship. They didn’t have huge rows but they were two completely incompatible people who conceived a child together while one of them was married to someone else. My friend always felt that her parents should not have married each other and they only did because they had a baby together. She felt like it was all her fault. Of course it wasn’t her fault, but it was sad that she felt responsible.

I got the impression that being pregnant / having babies staves off some kinda inner loneliness

People are usually really nice to you when you’re pregnant. You get to attend appointments and you get a bit of kindness and attention. If your life is usually all about school runs and looking after little kids, it can feel really nice to get a bit of special treatment.

Did that make me want to get knocked up over and over? Hell no.

Some women definitely get addicted to the tiny baby stage and love that feeling of being needed completely and utterly.

 

[cinder-umber-ella]

How can Jessie spend so much time with her mother (who, did she mention, is a GP!) and be so clueless.

Her babies are small because she restricts food.....

She thought that the placenta didn't always live in your womb and grew and a bit broke off with each baby

The obsession with not giving her baby a bottle

Surely your mum, especially if a medical professional (not sure if she's mentioned her mum is a GP....) would tell you to give your head a wobble.

Ffs

 

[Heloo]

Bit off topic guys but does anyone notice how Jessie always refers to Tenn as 'the baby.' At first I found it curious and now I find myself doing it in reference to my old child and its super annoying Also I'd really love to get through a podcast that doesn't reference about breastfeeding and pregnancy at some point. I'm a mum of 2 and don't get me wrong I find that chat insightful mostly, but I always get the vibe that Jessie holds being a mother of 3 as something so unique to her and she has to juggle so much that NOONE else can understand, that if Bebe happened to have 3 kids down the line, she wouldn't have that thing that makes her different anymore and I wonder what she'd talk about. I'm interested in hearing about her hobbies (like more on the yoga/gym class thing she did), where she goes out in London when, more details on her house move, her parenting style, friends, the business side of being an artist/actress ect rather than most of her personal chat being about weight and babies. It's getting a bit one note for me

 

[Zegbru]

I feel like I’m verging on being judgmental here and I apologise for that but she’s giving me the ammunition ……..

Her comments about Tenn being incredibly stubborn and clever because he’s learnt to keep on pestering her until she gives in and gives him a second and third bottle of milk in the night!!

That’s just a normal toddler thing! Of course he’s not going to go peacefully back to sleep immediately if you have bottles of milk ready to give him!

I do feel for her as the post viral fatigue sounds awful, along with the sickness she’s been experiencing. I know myself that you’ll do anything to get a bit of sleep when you’re chronically sleep-deprived. But it’s going to be a nightmare when the baby is born. Especially if Alfie continues to be a hands off parent.

I agree with you. It's up to her (and Alfie) to break the pattern. She is going to get zero sleep between feeding Tenn and the new baby.

Mum probably. Mum will have a fully packed bag

At some point, she will have to be Mum and not expect her Mum to do everything...

 

[Topaz]

I know their relationship is fucked, even they freely admit that but....having to trade your partner having sex with other people in exchange for another child It really is grim. Not to mention completely gross. If Alfie didn't want a third kid that is his right and Jessie should understand that, but for him to use it as leverage to get his leg over
Whether it's true or not, it's sadly believable.

 

[Sven]

I work with a man who says he’s a feminist and sensitive. He is neither of these things.

 

[Sprezza]

Can you imagine knowing your husband/boyfriend/father of your children clearly and unashamedly wanted to bang your sister?

I get real “massive gaslighting shitbag” vibes from him

He gives me the same kind of vibes as another comedian, Sean Walsh, who gaslit his girlfriend and told her she was crazy for suspecting him of cheating until he was photographed kissing his strictly dance partner.

 

[Owlish]

I feel like I’m verging on being judgmental here and I apologise for that but she’s giving me the ammunition ……..

Her comments about Tenn being incredibly stubborn and clever because he’s learnt to keep on pestering her until she gives in and gives him a second and third bottle of milk in the night!!

That’s just a normal toddler thing! Of course he’s not going to go peacefully back to sleep immediately if you have bottles of milk ready to give him!

I do feel for her as the post viral fatigue sounds awful, along with the sickness she’s been experiencing. I know myself that you’ll do anything to get a bit of sleep when you’re chronically sleep-deprived. But it’s going to be a nightmare when the baby is born. Especially if Alfie continues to be a hands off parent.