OM to the G. I have just watched something that calls itself a 'calorie controlled' shopping haul. The title made me chuckle because there is no control at all: as usual, it is mostly (not quite all) processed rubbish, designed to inflate the gammons pair into the next stone bracket. Surely no one can be this dense?! She is doing the opposite of losing weight and treating her body as if it 'needs' all this rubbish? It's an odd mindset, isn't it. Because I've got some time on my hands, and because I am a saddo and because I am getting increasingly infuriated with this pair, I have made a list of what has been purchissssed and I've popped my observations next to each item. you'll see that she does really know that this is all rubbish, because she continually makes excuses for purchissssing said items.
Here we go .......
*We begin with a mountain of cwisps. apparently, she 'didn't realise' how many packets of cwisps had actually been put into the shop (even though she was the one who was doing it, from the comfort of her sofa I assume). Anyway, the sugary popcorn is apparently better than cwisps and there follows two multipacks of quavers (because they were on offer) and some hula hoop puffs (that she meant to take out of the basket). Don't worry everyone: THEY WILL GET EATEN apparently. No shit.
* More cwisps (Doritos) but these are ok because 'they're for our tacos' - did everybody know that you HAVE to have Doritos with tacos (she's again making an excuse as if to say that it is not her fault that she is buying the Doritos - she is HAVING to do so, because of the tacos. it's the tacos' fault).
*Mr Kilping carrot cake slices - I assumed that these would be 'for Charlie's lunches'; but no. They didn't really get an explanation.
*I'll just pause here, because to my great shock, there is then a healthy item! It's so healthy that she doesn't really know what it is but it's Sri Lankan (she pronounces Sri Lanka as if she has never ever in her life heard of it). Anyway, I'll let them off this one, because its a goodie.
* A small Warburtons loaf - she doesn't mention that this is in fact a large WHITE loaf. Hardly what they ought to be eating in order to lose the pounds. Anyway, the excuse for this item is that they do normally buy all kinds of bread, including brown bread. we just never see this. EVER.
*Shock horror, we then see a cucumber and some bananas. I don't believe that they really eat these.
* Sugary salsa next - really low in calories apparently. Again, this isn't her fault, its down to the tacos.
* Some eggs - ok, if you don't fry three and have them with a bagel for an afternoon schnaaack.
* Some peppers and little snack peppers. Again, I do not believe that these get eaten.
*American mustard - she douses all sallid in this these days, thus negating much of its benefit.
*Potatoes - can't really find fault with these, apart from the obvious fact that they eat far, far too many of them.
*Bloody Munch Bunch yoghurts - she excuses these by explaining that she has 'only got one left', thus meaning that the purchissss of more was an absolute necessity. No mention of the fact that they are for five year olds. the bean gets his own grown up yoghurts. These are quite calorific apparently.
*There then follow some ready meals. This is not her fault. They are 'for the freezer'.
*Some creme fraiche - 'for the tacos'... these poor tacos are going to be overloaded aren't they.
*Some protein shakes. I wondered when these would make their reintroduction into the daily lives of the gammony pair. But alas, it isn't her fault, because they are for 'filling her up when she's on the go'.
*A solitary avocado makes an appearance. It isn't for the tacos. It probably won't get eaten and will be thrown out with the peppers etc...
*Some lamb steaks - not too bad, but coated in stuff that is probably sugary. She seems incapable of buying anything that hasn't been doctored doesn't she.
* PIES - yes of course, the bloody pies. These are for dinner and there is some muttered comment about 'doing loadsa veg' with them. I just don't believe it. Anyway, she should NOT be eating pies! Why can't she have some pan fried or grilled fish? Some oven baked chicken? Why does it have to be pie (and no doubt potatoes...)?
*Broccoli - yes you heard it right. Some veg.
*Garlic - good for the cholesterol but bloody hell, its going to have a tough job isn't it.
*CHIPS - these are apparently really nice. she ought not to be eating them of course but she seems to have chips with everything. anyone heard of reducing your carb intake to lose weight?
* Fab lollies..... WHAAAAT???!!! She's been having one OR TWO a night. Enough said.
*Mars ice creams - this is ok though, because they are smaller than the normal ones.... and they are about to run out. These are an essential, like loo roll or deodorant. You've gotta have them. It's not her fault.
*Timeouts - yes, you guessed it ... 'for Charlie's lunches'... He is not five. He most certainly doesn't need this rubbish for his lunches.
*Cheerios - well, I'm betting that there is more goodness in the packet.
*Soreen loaf - no words ...
*Stock cubes - these are of course fairly innocuous. Don't know why she needs them however, because everything she buys is already made.
*Cheese and bacon kievs - processed, fatty rubbish.
*Another type of pie - she calls it a 'lattice' as if to improve it's healthy appeal. We all know it's a pie, Jane. This isn't her fault either. It's for 'the roast' on Sunday. Also, when she was describing what this lattice thing was, she was practically having to restrain herself when she said 'chicken ... WRAPPED IN PASTRY' ... oh and it's got bacon and cheese in it as well. Fatty, processed rubbish.
*Mince - well this is of course a lovely way to end. I am assuming it is for the tacos and whilst in itself, this is healthy, it is going to be sabotaged by all of the above shit that is about to be plonked on top of it.
I know I sound a little bit harsh and possibly angry, but I am just so fed up of this pair. I wouldn't mind if they were eating this and not trying to be weight loss gurus! Even entitling the video 'calorie controlled shop' is totally misleading. It is not in any way controlled. The great majority is utter rubbish. She knows this, hence all of the excuses. She just cannot stop herself. We have no idea how many calories she is eating but it's totally obvious that (a) she is not in any kind of deficit; and (b) she's just counting and counting and counting ad infinitem. It doesn't work like that, Jane. .... It's really grating on me that they are putting themselves out there as weight loss youtubers, when in reality, they haven't got a clue, or they have, but they are doing their level best to ignore it. It shouldn't be hard for them to realise that the sorts of things that they should be eating are as follows (and I'm writing this for Jane's benefit, because we know you'll read it, dear!) ...
- lots of baked or pan fried or grilled fish, steamed veg and maybe try NO CARBS just for once;
- homemade food not processed food;
-no snacks - banish all cakes, biscuits, crisps etc... just don't have them in the house;
- cut the number of sauces and dips etc... make your own ...they are all full of sugar;
- swap the white starchy carbs for more complex carbs, such as wholewheat pastas, wholewheat couscous, rye bread or German schneiderbrot;
- if you must snack, snack on fruit and crudités;
- eat some bloody fibre!!!! start the day with a bowl of NON SUGARY high fibre cereal, such as all bran, bran flakes, weatabix (even though that has sugar in it!)..... add pumpkin seeds, linseeds, sunflower seeds and some dried apricots or prunes ....
- for lunch, have smoked salmon and a salad; or smoked mackerel etc...
-for your evening meals, please please please cook something from scratch ..... NO PIES and NO LATTICES.
I've really ranted on but I'm sure you're all just as fed up with this as me. What's happened to the exercise bike by the way? It's being used as a glorified clothes hanger I suppose. Either that or it collapsed after the one and only time they sat on it.
I know I could stop watching her, but I just can't!
she was so cocky on there saying how in control she is now of food and how she doesn't binge.... karma springs to mind!!
what a pair of eejits!
I’m surprise Charlie Bean noticed the atmosphere considering the vacuum that exists around him every time he opens his mouth!
amount of times they have cooked quorn nuggets for a drive 
