Oh my Lord! I’m just watching the Lidl haul and I thought I’d share my observations!
1. Lots of prodding of food once again - to be expected now.
2. The haul, as usual, starts off fairly innocuously with some lettuce and some mushroom and then ... whoah, hold up ... we are introduced to some ‘lunch box bars’. WHAT IN GOD’S NAME DOES THIS MEAN?! I’ve realised it’s her way of distancing her ‘blame’ for the purchasing of absolute fattening unnecessary crap. By calling these choclit bars ‘lunchbox bars’, it’s almost as if she is distancing herself from the responsibility of having purchased them, ie it’s not her fault, they have to be purchased for charwee’s lunches (incidentally I’ve never seen someone take so much bloody food in a packed lunch; he probably needs a trailer fixed to the bean mobile, just to transport the mountain of shite for his super long days, necessitating the consumption of such rubbish).
3. The purchasing of the brioche swirls is also blamed on the Bean. He likes them, apparently. They are nice to have in the afternoon with a cuppa. Again, this unnecessary explanation behind the purchase both distances our gammon joint from the responsibility of the purchase and blames it, on the cup of tea. She then throws in a ‘so I picked up some of them as well’ and tells us how many caloweeeees they are. I mean; as if she is counting.
4. The sweet chilli dipping sauce, no doubt absolutely packed with sugar and other nasties, is then smuggled in behind the deodorant. We noticed it, though.
5. The booze is blamed on the Bean (reminding us, subtly, that our angel Jane does not drink). And it’s ok anyway, because she only bought them ‘for him to try’. This gives him a special dispensation to use calorwees.
6. There then comes a little collection of further carbs and crap. The crinkle cut crisps are rushed through with the ‘wice’ and the peperami (which contains more crap than probably anything else) is quickly pushed through before we get to the perfectly acceptable chicken thighs ‘for lunches’ apparently. I don’t believe her. They never have chicken thighs for lunch! The eat rubbish for lunch.
7. After this lot, there is a lot of meat and slices of meat, all perfectly ok. And then she ruins it with more processed crap! A ready made frittata for lunch; battered fish (‘just to stock up the freezer’ - ie not her fault, it’s the freezer’s fault); and the pizzas are explained away by the fact that she is doing the pack with me live. Not sure why that means she has to have a pizza but I’m guessing that the live drags on and on for so long, she’s too exhausted from all that sitting down and wrapping to do anything other than open a packet.
8. There’s then more processed ready meal type food, all explained away by telling us how many calorwees are in half of everything. We know she eats the lot though, don’t we. The pasta was only purchased because it doesn’t go off until 2050, or something like that. It could survive a nuclear war.
9. The white bread has sneaked its way in without explanation, as have the hot cross buns. They have to have those of course, because it’s nearly Easter isn’t it. There’s a bottle of coke there too. Probably Easter’s fault.
10. She ends on the fruit and fibre. Eeek, she will need all the fibre she can get after that mountain of processed shite, especially with her IBS and lack of gall bladder.
Anyway, in conclusion, there is much here that is ok: the meat and the relatively little amount of veg. Apart from the bananas and apples, there is no fruit at all. What about some blueberries? Raspberries? Grapes? They could all go in the lunchboxes instead of the choclit bars. What about some fresh fish instead of the processed meals? Way, way less calorwees and so much better for her. What about swapping out the brioches and hot cross buns for celery and hummus etc and boiled eggs? She did manage to get through a whole haul without mentioning her old friend protein! Maybe it’s taking a backseat this month for ‘personal reasons’. Oh Jane, you don’t change so you. Just want to say that I really don’t care what the gammon joints buy and I wouldn’t judge, but I can’t help it, because she’s trying to pull the wool over our eyes once again. She’s clearly given up with the diet snd so has the bean but there’s no mention of this. Again, I wouldn’t even mind this, but the fuss she made at the beginning of the year about this being such a change for them and the Mal thing etc ... wait ... who’s Mal?! Nothing but a distant memory. Hope this cheered you tattle folk up on a rainy Wednesday afternoon.
1. Lots of prodding of food once again - to be expected now.
2. The haul, as usual, starts off fairly innocuously with some lettuce and some mushroom and then ... whoah, hold up ... we are introduced to some ‘lunch box bars’. WHAT IN GOD’S NAME DOES THIS MEAN?! I’ve realised it’s her way of distancing her ‘blame’ for the purchasing of absolute fattening unnecessary crap. By calling these choclit bars ‘lunchbox bars’, it’s almost as if she is distancing herself from the responsibility of having purchased them, ie it’s not her fault, they have to be purchased for charwee’s lunches (incidentally I’ve never seen someone take so much bloody food in a packed lunch; he probably needs a trailer fixed to the bean mobile, just to transport the mountain of shite for his super long days, necessitating the consumption of such rubbish).
3. The purchasing of the brioche swirls is also blamed on the Bean. He likes them, apparently. They are nice to have in the afternoon with a cuppa. Again, this unnecessary explanation behind the purchase both distances our gammon joint from the responsibility of the purchase and blames it, on the cup of tea. She then throws in a ‘so I picked up some of them as well’ and tells us how many caloweeeees they are. I mean; as if she is counting.
4. The sweet chilli dipping sauce, no doubt absolutely packed with sugar and other nasties, is then smuggled in behind the deodorant. We noticed it, though.
5. The booze is blamed on the Bean (reminding us, subtly, that our angel Jane does not drink). And it’s ok anyway, because she only bought them ‘for him to try’. This gives him a special dispensation to use calorwees.
6. There then comes a little collection of further carbs and crap. The crinkle cut crisps are rushed through with the ‘wice’ and the peperami (which contains more crap than probably anything else) is quickly pushed through before we get to the perfectly acceptable chicken thighs ‘for lunches’ apparently. I don’t believe her. They never have chicken thighs for lunch! The eat rubbish for lunch.
7. After this lot, there is a lot of meat and slices of meat, all perfectly ok. And then she ruins it with more processed crap! A ready made frittata for lunch; battered fish (‘just to stock up the freezer’ - ie not her fault, it’s the freezer’s fault); and the pizzas are explained away by the fact that she is doing the pack with me live. Not sure why that means she has to have a pizza but I’m guessing that the live drags on and on for so long, she’s too exhausted from all that sitting down and wrapping to do anything other than open a packet.
8. There’s then more processed ready meal type food, all explained away by telling us how many calorwees are in half of everything. We know she eats the lot though, don’t we. The pasta was only purchased because it doesn’t go off until 2050, or something like that. It could survive a nuclear war.
9. The white bread has sneaked its way in without explanation, as have the hot cross buns. They have to have those of course, because it’s nearly Easter isn’t it. There’s a bottle of coke there too. Probably Easter’s fault.
10. She ends on the fruit and fibre. Eeek, she will need all the fibre she can get after that mountain of processed shite, especially with her IBS and lack of gall bladder.
Anyway, in conclusion, there is much here that is ok: the meat and the relatively little amount of veg. Apart from the bananas and apples, there is no fruit at all. What about some blueberries? Raspberries? Grapes? They could all go in the lunchboxes instead of the choclit bars. What about some fresh fish instead of the processed meals? Way, way less calorwees and so much better for her. What about swapping out the brioches and hot cross buns for celery and hummus etc and boiled eggs? She did manage to get through a whole haul without mentioning her old friend protein! Maybe it’s taking a backseat this month for ‘personal reasons’. Oh Jane, you don’t change so you. Just want to say that I really don’t care what the gammon joints buy and I wouldn’t judge, but I can’t help it, because she’s trying to pull the wool over our eyes once again. She’s clearly given up with the diet snd so has the bean but there’s no mention of this. Again, I wouldn’t even mind this, but the fuss she made at the beginning of the year about this being such a change for them and the Mal thing etc ... wait ... who’s Mal?! Nothing but a distant memory. Hope this cheered you tattle folk up on a rainy Wednesday afternoon.
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and she said Charlie insisted on ordering her lunch from McD's too
