Well, well, well ... just watched the taste test: these two really ought to just STOP eating. If you can’t be bothered to watch it, or fancy a summary, then read on my friend.
Firstly, let’s confront the elephant(s) in the room: Chins declares that they’ve put on weight. Not just weight, but ‘a lot’ of weight. We all know therefore, that there really has been some mega munchin’ afoot. This of course is abundantly obvious because once again, she looks like she’s been over-inflated by a balloon pump and let’s just say, if she were involved one of those sumo wrestling games where fat suits are often worn to add to the fun, the costume wouldn’t be necessary. The Bean isn’t much better: he’s round and pudgy and yes, he’s definitely been on that bloody soreeeeeeeen loaf again. He’s MASSIVE. I’ve also noticed that the comb-over is making a return - possibly this is designed to attempt to camouflage the weight gain on the top of his head?
I am being unkind, but I’m so fed up with the utter rubbish that’s spouted by this pair of pigs.
Chins then pronounces a decree: things are changing. Things are not a changin’. There is no progress being made. It’s all flannel. They’re once again in a sea of food, sinking deeper and deeper towards the bed. Please don’t bore us with the calorie countin’ rubbish: we ain’t a listenin’.
Anyway, in the same breath, we learn that despite things changing, they are in fact staying exactly the same because they’ve got some free food and it MUST be eaten. It must be eaten before they are ‘submersed’ (Chins’s made up word, of two actual words, mixed together) presumably into the calorie count in’ charade once again. Turning it away is/was NOT an option. It’s not the fault of Chins and Bean, it’s the fault of Schnack Surpwises. This evil company has spotted Chins and Bean on YouTube, noted that they are both hopelessly devoted to food and decided to exacerbate the problem by sending them more things to scoff. Not helpful. It’s ok though, because they are schnacks a plenty from ‘awound the world’.
As usual, there’s a brief nod to ‘everythink that’s been goin’ on’: basically, what Chins is saying, is that they don’t know where their next meal is coming from these days and did you know that having a SS box is an ‘activity’, a bit like going to a spin class or maybe taking up Zumba. Oh, please!!!
Chins thinks that a box from SS would make a lovely gift and she tells us she knows plenty of pigs, sorry, people, who would enjoy a box like this. Still, this one is all for them and of course, it’s one of the big ones. The greedy pair can’t get their mits in quickly enough. The Bean is in charge of using the pink toddler scissors to enter the box of delights. And in they go, like gannets to the feast.
Oooh, the box is from Sweden! What a small world: Chins and Bean can’t believe that the chest of drawers next to which they are squashed, is from IKEA and that’s Sweden innit! So, it’s meant to be, isn’t it. There’s a brief scan of the leaflet, which is very helpful, because when they’ve had foreign food previously, they haven’t known what they’ve been eating, apparently. Doesn’t stop them though, does it!! This isn’t complicated like say, Caribbean food. They can see what they’ve got here. And there’s lots of it: rubbish!
First up, it’s cheesy cwisps. The Bean can’t wait to stick his great big nose into the pack, like an antelope snuffling along the ground for witchetty grubs. Oooh they taste just like a ‘thin’ Wotsit. This means they’re wivin’ their caloreeeees, I suppose.
The Bean is stuffing them into his gob, whilst Chins pretends to be dainty, just taking one or two.
Next up, its more crisps. After much crunching and nibbling, sampling and then sampling again, just to make sure, these too are a resounding ‘mmm’. You might notice at this point that the Bean seems even to have gained weight on his fingers, as we see them greedily grabbing for more and more crisps.
A packet of sweets is next on the list. Chins boldly claims that they ‘won’t get through it all’ but we all know she is famous for wildly underestimating her own abilities. I’d bet my house on the entire lot disappearing within a matter of hours; minutes maybe. But wait, there’s a problem. The Bean can’t summon up the strength to open the bag. His porky fingers grasping at it, hopelessly, he pulls a sort of sex face and then resorts to the child’s scissors. Phew, they’re in. This bit made me laugh: the sweets are described by Chins as pink skulls, that taste like freshly picked raspberries! Firstly, I’m not sure how she would be familiar with the taste but secondly, this is ingenious! Who needs fruit?! Just have sweets instead. The Bean isn’t fussed about the raspberry sweets but it’s ok, because Chins is a big fan. She won’t let them go to waste. And once again, it’s just like eating a bit of fruit innit.
Then there are more sweets and a revolting bit which involves both piggies picking bits from their teeth and licking their trotters.
There is then something that calls itself a sandwich, but alas, it is a cracker masquerading as a sandwich. Oh well, never mind. The Bean gets his mouthful curtesy of Chins shoving it in for him. He doesn’t like it because it’s (wait for it) ‘too processed’, at least I think that’s what he said, because his mouth was full. Nice. Chins, seizing the opportunity, takes another bite. Well it is food isn’t it, so she’s going to have it. She’s mildly disappointed that the Bean doesn’t like it because she has had a vision of him whipping one out for a ‘brunch’ at work.
The next contender is a sweet fizzy drink. It’s of course Swedish and the Bean does a sort of Welsh accent which is a bit cringe because it’s meant to be Swedish. Chins doesn’t like it because it isn’t sweet enough.
She’s then done a little segment which is set over an instrumental. Basically it’s an excuse for them to stop talking and eat more and more. There’s chcolit, cake bars, more sweets ... you get the picture. Then surprisingly, the music stops and an item is described as ‘vile’. I’m not sure what it’s done to offend so greatly, but it’s cast aside and I actually think, despite it being food, it might stand a small chance of survival. At least until later anyway.
As the video draws to a close, the porky pair can contain themselves no longer and they basically stuff their faces simultaneously, talking with their mouths full and grasping and fighting over the scraps, like two playful bear cubs. I realise with horror that this, for them, is a kind of strange foreplay; a mating ritual if you will.
There’s a bit more finger sucking and tooth poking, Chins says she feels sick, they thank the company for their big box of stuff (you can get small boxes but theirs was a big box), and then it all gets too much and they presumably go off for a bonk and a vom.
Firstly, let’s confront the elephant(s) in the room: Chins declares that they’ve put on weight. Not just weight, but ‘a lot’ of weight. We all know therefore, that there really has been some mega munchin’ afoot. This of course is abundantly obvious because once again, she looks like she’s been over-inflated by a balloon pump and let’s just say, if she were involved one of those sumo wrestling games where fat suits are often worn to add to the fun, the costume wouldn’t be necessary. The Bean isn’t much better: he’s round and pudgy and yes, he’s definitely been on that bloody soreeeeeeeen loaf again. He’s MASSIVE. I’ve also noticed that the comb-over is making a return - possibly this is designed to attempt to camouflage the weight gain on the top of his head?
I am being unkind, but I’m so fed up with the utter rubbish that’s spouted by this pair of pigs.
Chins then pronounces a decree: things are changing. Things are not a changin’. There is no progress being made. It’s all flannel. They’re once again in a sea of food, sinking deeper and deeper towards the bed. Please don’t bore us with the calorie countin’ rubbish: we ain’t a listenin’.
Anyway, in the same breath, we learn that despite things changing, they are in fact staying exactly the same because they’ve got some free food and it MUST be eaten. It must be eaten before they are ‘submersed’ (Chins’s made up word, of two actual words, mixed together) presumably into the calorie count in’ charade once again. Turning it away is/was NOT an option. It’s not the fault of Chins and Bean, it’s the fault of Schnack Surpwises. This evil company has spotted Chins and Bean on YouTube, noted that they are both hopelessly devoted to food and decided to exacerbate the problem by sending them more things to scoff. Not helpful. It’s ok though, because they are schnacks a plenty from ‘awound the world’.
As usual, there’s a brief nod to ‘everythink that’s been goin’ on’: basically, what Chins is saying, is that they don’t know where their next meal is coming from these days and did you know that having a SS box is an ‘activity’, a bit like going to a spin class or maybe taking up Zumba. Oh, please!!!
Chins thinks that a box from SS would make a lovely gift and she tells us she knows plenty of pigs, sorry, people, who would enjoy a box like this. Still, this one is all for them and of course, it’s one of the big ones. The greedy pair can’t get their mits in quickly enough. The Bean is in charge of using the pink toddler scissors to enter the box of delights. And in they go, like gannets to the feast.
Oooh, the box is from Sweden! What a small world: Chins and Bean can’t believe that the chest of drawers next to which they are squashed, is from IKEA and that’s Sweden innit! So, it’s meant to be, isn’t it. There’s a brief scan of the leaflet, which is very helpful, because when they’ve had foreign food previously, they haven’t known what they’ve been eating, apparently. Doesn’t stop them though, does it!! This isn’t complicated like say, Caribbean food. They can see what they’ve got here. And there’s lots of it: rubbish!
First up, it’s cheesy cwisps. The Bean can’t wait to stick his great big nose into the pack, like an antelope snuffling along the ground for witchetty grubs. Oooh they taste just like a ‘thin’ Wotsit. This means they’re wivin’ their caloreeeees, I suppose.
The Bean is stuffing them into his gob, whilst Chins pretends to be dainty, just taking one or two.
Next up, its more crisps. After much crunching and nibbling, sampling and then sampling again, just to make sure, these too are a resounding ‘mmm’. You might notice at this point that the Bean seems even to have gained weight on his fingers, as we see them greedily grabbing for more and more crisps.
A packet of sweets is next on the list. Chins boldly claims that they ‘won’t get through it all’ but we all know she is famous for wildly underestimating her own abilities. I’d bet my house on the entire lot disappearing within a matter of hours; minutes maybe. But wait, there’s a problem. The Bean can’t summon up the strength to open the bag. His porky fingers grasping at it, hopelessly, he pulls a sort of sex face and then resorts to the child’s scissors. Phew, they’re in. This bit made me laugh: the sweets are described by Chins as pink skulls, that taste like freshly picked raspberries! Firstly, I’m not sure how she would be familiar with the taste but secondly, this is ingenious! Who needs fruit?! Just have sweets instead. The Bean isn’t fussed about the raspberry sweets but it’s ok, because Chins is a big fan. She won’t let them go to waste. And once again, it’s just like eating a bit of fruit innit.
Then there are more sweets and a revolting bit which involves both piggies picking bits from their teeth and licking their trotters.
There is then something that calls itself a sandwich, but alas, it is a cracker masquerading as a sandwich. Oh well, never mind. The Bean gets his mouthful curtesy of Chins shoving it in for him. He doesn’t like it because it’s (wait for it) ‘too processed’, at least I think that’s what he said, because his mouth was full. Nice. Chins, seizing the opportunity, takes another bite. Well it is food isn’t it, so she’s going to have it. She’s mildly disappointed that the Bean doesn’t like it because she has had a vision of him whipping one out for a ‘brunch’ at work.
The next contender is a sweet fizzy drink. It’s of course Swedish and the Bean does a sort of Welsh accent which is a bit cringe because it’s meant to be Swedish. Chins doesn’t like it because it isn’t sweet enough.
She’s then done a little segment which is set over an instrumental. Basically it’s an excuse for them to stop talking and eat more and more. There’s chcolit, cake bars, more sweets ... you get the picture. Then surprisingly, the music stops and an item is described as ‘vile’. I’m not sure what it’s done to offend so greatly, but it’s cast aside and I actually think, despite it being food, it might stand a small chance of survival. At least until later anyway.
As the video draws to a close, the porky pair can contain themselves no longer and they basically stuff their faces simultaneously, talking with their mouths full and grasping and fighting over the scraps, like two playful bear cubs. I realise with horror that this, for them, is a kind of strange foreplay; a mating ritual if you will.
There’s a bit more finger sucking and tooth poking, Chins says she feels sick, they thank the company for their big box of stuff (you can get small boxes but theirs was a big box), and then it all gets too much and they presumably go off for a bonk and a vom.
That's a lovely thing to do. Wool is quite expensive these days, I can't imagine gammon joint doing anything that would cost her for free
wish you’d done this earlier! Much more entertaining then the actual video... and I wouldn’t of had to sit through it lol 
my son came out with one made from a huge tampax box once!!!!
