Jake Quickenden #97 Pervy Quickenden, the Scunthorpe Schofield.

[Jessica_Rabbit]

"Is it cooked?" So he's asking a load of strangers on the internet whether it's done or not". Christ almighty.

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Whats he done with the skin??? a skinless chicken could be if he stuck foil on it (how would he know to put foil on it?) and ripped it off or he fucked the Tesco bag in the microwave and that ripped the skin off! Looks disgusting

 

[mollyann]

Let’s hope he gets the from eating that pale gross looking chicken.He supposedly made steak with a peppercorn sauce last timebleeping tosser is reading here to much and needs to go back into his closet

 

[Philimena cunk]

I hope he’s go on MC, that chicken looks as dry as Gandhi’s flip flop! theyll RIP him a 2nd hole!

Drier than a nuns bleep ....

 

[JazzFan]

Even the chicken is bland and beige.

Thread title

 

[Xxcxcc]

Even if he got strictly. Thats it for him. Hes done everything else and it wont make him a supertsar. It will give him a few mins of exposure and then poof, hes gone, no one remembers him. Even if he got a regular presenting slot on daytime tv, that doesnt make him famous either cos not a lot watch it. He is past it, he is never going to be relevant, the young ones will not like him. Hes reaching for stardom that he will never ever get. If he was gonna make it, it would have happened by now. All he wants is fame and he thinks these crappy presebting jobs are gonna get him it but they arent. Masterchef. Full of z listers and defo not the making of him. Strictly, yes its a big show, maybe people aged 30 upwards watch, but not the audience he needs to go viral etc. He has got duck all to offer. He needs to accept that hes nearly 40. Nowt wrong with that at all, but its an age u would want to be settled at, steady job, business etc, but not him , hes wants fame, we have all said there are much tounger, fitter lads with him, who have their own hair and teeth

 

[MrsG03]

Drier than a nuns bleep ....

Drier than flappy!

 

[Lico]

Jake Chickenden

 

[JazzFan]

The spud has landed and the eye bleeping is back Hope he keeps fakey up til all hours

 

[mollyann]

So the filming of Leo has started already.Going to give the sad fucker a miss as he really is the biggest prick walking.

 

[Robin71]

You just know we are going to get yet another Liz and Julie after all it’s what Leo asked for

 

[Barbie2020]

Wonder what fun he’s got planned for his child’s birthday tomorrow? Wonder if they’ve bought him any of their own presents this year as I’m sure the gifted stuff is starting to dwindle.

 

[bluecups]

Even if he got strictly. Thats it for him. Hes done everything else and it wont make him a supertsar. It will give him a few mins of exposure and then poof, hes gone, no one remembers him. Even if he got a regular presenting slot on daytime tv, that doesnt make him famous either cos not a lot watch it. He is past it, he is never going to be relevant, the young ones will not like him. Hes reaching for stardom that he will never ever get. If he was gonna make it, it would have happened by now. All he wants is fame and he thinks these crappy presebting jobs are gonna get him it but they arent. Masterchef. Full of z listers and defo not the making of him. Strictly, yes its a big show, maybe people aged 30 upwards watch, but not the audience he needs to go viral etc. He has got duck all to offer. He needs to accept that hes nearly 40. Nowt wrong with that at all, but its an age u would want to be settled at, steady job, business etc, but not him , hes wants fame, we have all said there are much tounger, fitter lads with him, who have their own hair and teeth

You're bang on the money there. His ship has sailed, long ago. His reputation in the theatre world must be in absolute tatters. His singing is even worse than when he was on the X Factor. If he had any sort of talent at presenting then someone at ITV would have watched back one of his blink-and-you-miss-them presenting spots and said "Hey, he's pretty good at this, lets try him with a bigger presenting role". But they haven't. He only gets the bits and bobs he does get because he probably doesn't even charge a fee, just expenses and is always willing to jump in as a stand in at the last minute. Most people would balk at the thought of swimming in a lake in February or getting their bollocks out on live tv but he'll do literally anything, desperate prick that he is.

What demographic does he appeal to? He's not of mature character so older audiences won't like him. He's camp as Christmas, not a man's man (unless he's on Grindr) so blokes can't relate to him. Younger audiences would just cringe at him because he tries to act 'down with the kids' and it's embarrassing. He's a joke. Game over, Fakey. You blew it.

 

[OnlyJustSaying]

I was just thinking that Fakey can pretend to himself and the world that he has been doing lots of presenting recently but in his heart of hearts he knows he is lying! He must be very sad inside to concoct all the bullshit stories he does. The other thing is even if he is doing Master Chef, he knows he has been begging for scraps for so many years. They have finally gotten to the dregs which is why he made it on there. Finally he knows if he has his choice, he wouldn’t choose MC out of all the other prestigious shows to go on. Keep lying to yourself Fakey, poor love. You and the Tattlers know the absolute truth.

 

[Joon]

He won't last long on Masterchef...Prick wasn't in Celebrity SAS Who Dares Wins for long..boo hoo had to leave...He won't be able to cope with the pressure......Lazy Fucker...

 

[ChastityDingle]

If he had any sort of talent at presenting then someone at ITV would have watched back one of his blink-and-you-miss-them presenting spots and said "Hey, he's pretty good at this, lets try him with a bigger presenting role". But they haven't. He only gets the bits and bobs he does get because he probably doesn't even charge a fee, just expenses and is always willing to jump in as a stand in at the last minute. Most people would balk at the thought of swimming in a lake in February or getting their bollocks out on live tv but he'll do literally anything, desperate prick that he is.

Exactly.

And imo, a nice personality will get you somewhere as a presenter. Being easy to work with, having a good work ethic. All of those things add up. He has none of them.

He bigs up the cheap slots he gets on tv and then doesn't know how to behave when he is on. Can we ever forget him on Steph's Packed Lunch I presume he was never asked back, after that.

Re Masterchef, if he is on, as others have said, he will definitely have done some kind of prep so that he can get along passably, initially. But he won't be able to behave. He will be like Joey in Friends when he starts 'acting' anytime there's a director around.

 

[Nixxs]

Just wait, he will be posting dance reels & tagging jls asking if he can be the “5th member”

Sam already did that

 

[Turtledove58]

Super anxious crying twit and his engagement dwarf are back! Good luck with getting the goblin to sleep anytime soon! Cannot wait for the spin off tomorrow!

 

[JazzFan]

Super anxious crying twit and his engagement dwarf are back! Good luck with getting the goblin to sleep anytime soon! Cannot wait for the spin off tomorrow!

Engagement dwarf

 

[PrincessJeanie]

I can’t believe she dragged those 2 kids all that way for just over a week knowing how bad the jet lag is coming home and Fred will be expected at school this week Let’s see how much they’ve been gifted for spuds birthday tomorrow. I’ll bet hardly anything.

 

[DeniseRoyle]

It's clear without Spud he has no SM content, quiet all week then boom, family man's back on show