Jake Quickenden #92 The 80's toreador & swinging coke jaw. So stuck in the closet he can't find the door

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There was a reason they invited Zelda for Xmas and I’m convinced it was to butter her up to look after Spud whenever they ‘need’ an adult only break this year. Pretty sure skiing won’t be the only one these selfish cunts have. I don’t think Flappys mum has ever had him for more than a couple of nights and quite frankly watching his behaviour on instagram, I don’t blame her. I still can’t believe father of the year is fucking off and leaving his child yet again. 5 weeks and what has he done with him. Day trip to Lapland, 1 night and day at Alton Towers, 2 nights at a hotel geared for adults and 1 cinema trip. Guarantee their adult only trip is longer than all the days they’ve done with the kids put together. Thought they’d got loads planned as a family while he was off. This is why when she says they’ve got loads of trips arranged for this year, I take it with a pinch of salt. Both can’t tell the truth if their lives depended on it
 
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He must stalk every new show that is coming out and comment What a sad idiot and it’s hard to believe he started out in 2012.Must realise no one wants him except for the awful Lorraine for his two minute slots.Both lazy freaks with overinflated ego’s who want to just sit on their arses begging all day.
 
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I don’t watch her stories so did Zelda mention how her Christmas was? Usually we get a detailed account of her boring day so I just wondered how wonderful everything was for her with F&F
 
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I don’t watch her stories so did Zelda mention how her Christmas was? Usually we get a detailed account of her boring day so I just wondered how wonderful everything was for her with F&F
Not really, saying it was busy and Leo took more in this year as he's older, biggest LOL, he takes nothing in
 
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I think Zelda won the gargoyle raffle and has got him for the crapathon holiday....
 
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Her aspiration is to do more Chatting to us .. she does know what aspiration means does she? She’s thick.
She needs to lay off the skin treatments and filters. She’s so unnatural- like Zelda is. Imagine being on the ski slopes with those 2 they give me the ick let alone their manky sofas. Which if they got them cleaned wud make them look much better.
 
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Zelda = Soaps, Nails, Cleaning, Garden, Films, Imaginary Sister, boring old cunt ...
 
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Zelda said nothing about Christmas except it was hecticShe really needs to take a good look at herself as it’s beyond embarrassing how she gets made up to talk shit to strangers.She must live a empty life with other than her sister no friends like her son.Both so alike it’s scarySaid before she should have a blue tick like why is that important and wtf are you is my answer.She does not work and like her lazy arse daughter in law and does nothing but sprout shit online.
 
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Chatting aka bragging and selling
 
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Zelda, Fakey, Flappy and Gail all need putting in a massive hole and covering in I hate the lot of them, vile, ugly, begging, grabby bastards

Who the fuck does Zelda think she is, old witch doing birthday should outs for saddos who message her, but can't manage one for her grandson getting her war paint on and making notes to speak to her fucking phone no one gives a rat's ass Zelda, it's not real ffs Never heard her mention her other son or grandkids it's always fucking Fakey and ratbag Leo, she ain't a Quickenden either, how must that make Matt feel! Hilarious she thinks she's famous, just like her stupid son
Fakey doesn't really give a shit about Zelda, only bothers with her when he wants her to look after devil child, cos no one else will.

As a few rightly pointed out, free holidays don't pay the mortgage, utilities, council tax or other Bill's, so enjoy your grifted holidays you cunts. They can't even afford a settee outright, or a media wall if Fakey was any good at DIY he could do it himself in the time he's had off, but no he's absolutely useless, all he's good at is eye fucking himself and going to the gym. So can't wait till Full Monty is done and this cunt has no work. Must have spunked all his fight purse, you now the one he was meant to be donating some off to Sarcoma UK, what a wanker
As for old Flappy fucker with her failed beauty treatments, boulder tits and big fat squidward nose with her shit Bambi and Bumhole bollocks just fucccckkkkk offfff

Can you tell I'm on one today had enough of these twats
 
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Now she’s doing gym content why do both on them think it’s acceptable to film themselves and show other people in the background? No boundaries with these two, they just do want they want. You can so imagine the two of the flouncing round Colchester playing the z lister couple
 
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And she’s got to get home to workFuck off as you haven’t done a decent days work in years.Does she not realise how self absorbed she comes across.Begging isn’t a job and selling your b&b shit for £3 is embarrassing.Pair of horrid scruffy twats.
 
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I dont understand why she thinks it's thrilling content think bint
 
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I can’t stand what I call the ‘instacunt culture’ but I will say the ones that seem to make a decent living from it, do make a bit of an effort with what they are trying to influence/sell to people. They look good in what they’re wearing, make sure they’ve done hair & make up and ensure the background of their stories is aesthetically pleasing. Then you’ve got her, who is either wearing clothes a mile too big for her or got her horrendous bolt ons out. Puts the phone in front of her face because she can’t be bothered to do hair & make up and as for the background of her ‘fashion’ stories It’s either a wonky door frame, wardrobe doors that don’t shut properly with clothes hanging out or a shed come office with loads of junk in the background of her shots. She follows so many so called influencers so why is her content still so shit?
 
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Grab your ear plugs fakeys he is going to start doing more singing videos has no confidence in singing but proceeds to upload himself absolutely murdering two songs guess this is in preparation for the West End prick give it up you are shit at everything the mundane crap you post thinking it will get you noticed probably isn’t seen by anyone important nobody is thinking hmm what’s that Jake Quickenden got to offer our latest show because they know aswell as us the answer is fuck all!
 
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Lol was gonna say too she cant even be arsed to close the wardrobe doors thats how lame and lazy she is
 
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