Jack Monroe #95 The only poverty she works to eradicate is her own

[Mycuppatea]

Jack’s Dad: “and every time there is a knock at the door I shake like a leaf and weep in case it’s one of the foster children I am paid (but not enough!) to care for breaking it down AGAIN. I have to pay thousands of pounds a year in council tax on my massively extended, detached home and yet the authorities refuse to provide me with a bombproof door to protect me from these malnourished urchins we have inexplicably taken into our home”.

Honestly, if it’s such a fucking expensive chore, why do it? What a dickhead.

My kids are adopted and honestly, they are hard work because of the trauma, abuse and substance abuse that played a part in airing their little brains. I only ever discuss it anonymously because I would never ever want my children to think I struggled with them or their behaviour. They're both teenagers now and if ever they remember how their trauma played out they'll be really ashamed and we hasten to tell them it was the only way they could tell us they were hurting and needed help so it was all fine and expected part of the journey, whereas today the violence and damage are at zero since they are in an emotional state where they can use their words rather than attack me. It seems so wrong to me to publicly discuss how hard it was for an adult man who chose to foster to cope with the expression of the trauma of those kids. It will always be worse for the kids who feel the rage and pain than for the sodding sink or door that gets broken. I don't give a stuff that I got hurt or my stuff got broken because to me it was all about helping my children get to a stable and healthy state, and they had to know that they mattered more to me than anything else.

 

[Marj24]

I don't lack empathy with Jack but I do think she needs perspective. I lost a child at 10 years old, he spent months in hospital, he was diagnosed with a potentially life threatening illness 18 months earlier, they did everything to save him. I spent 18 months with a gut wrenching pain. I don't normally go on about it because I am not alone, many have suffered, more my son than me. I miss him every day, but have to recognise my surviving son as his life is more important than his (beloved) brother's death, he has his own grief to deal with, he idolized his elder brother. All experiences have an influence, challenge you, devistate you. You have to move on, particularly when you have other children, you need to find strength to give those remaining a worth.

 

[Pocahontas]

Another group frauen effort for the thread title! @Scarletfever for the words and @LeftToMyOwnDevices for nominating them! 98 reactions Summer in Vlad’s palace for you two.

Recap of thread #94

1. She uploaded a photo of ‘herself’. Oh, Jack, you look so young! Good skincare, big window, 3 litres of water a day, innit. Oh, Jack, what big eyes you have! All the better to fleece you with, my dear.
2. She is cross at all the ‘sentient hams’ thinking they can ‘do her job’ at ‘costing an omelette’. The goons left out all the peripheral costs of an omelette (rent, gas, oil, a cooker, a pan, oil, salt ... you get the picture). Say, how are those £20 shops going, Jack? At least you’ve got a lot of ‘fucking knives and forks’ - no need to cost them.
3. She works in many areas, every day, ‘mostly behind the scenes’.
4. She tweeted Potatoes AGAIN. Yeah, yeah, Marcus Rashford has been the catalyst of a positive movement, inspiring thousands - but don’t you forget about her!
5. Ah, while she’s at it, here’s something she wrote a while ago about judgement of ready meals. I mean go ahead and retweet it if you wanna ...
6. Never mind those pesky kids and their hunger, Jack’s going to tweet and tweet and tweet about her past ‘trauma’, the ‘early onset arthritis’, ‘lungs of a smoker’ and ‘fear and loathing that multiple therapies can’t assuage’. Her, her, HER.
7. The fucking AUDACITY.
8. While she’s at it, here’s a picture of her stack of bills. Yup.
9. ‘Jack do you have a patreon or Paypal where we can support you personally?’
10. ‘I for one would like to help you a little (sorry low pension). Do you have PayPal?’
11. She’s experiencing ‘basically like an autopsy while [she’s] still alive right now’. Jack, that’s what we call jealousy.
12. Oh no, she’s dispensing with the £20 shopping sagas. Because of the ‘dickheads’ who need to ‘pipe down’.
13. Also, she’s done her back in lifting a ‘very heavy cast iron and mango wood table on her own’. She’s ok! She’s got loads of those meals in the freezer, hasn’t she? Hasn’t. She.
14. She has turned off her Patreon numbers.
15. She reminded people to donate to the Trussel Trust, and because she has a large platform, people have. Got there in the end, Jack.
16. Spoiler: Jack for Dummies

    For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
    
    Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
    Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
    
    Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
    
    For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
    
    *** JACKISMS ***
    
    Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
    
    Yes, absolutely x
    
    Some other favourite Jack quotes:
    
    ‘Babe, same’
    
    ‘I did a chaos’
    
    ‘My maverick brain’
    
    ‘My sad little face’
    
    ‘I’m BUSY’
    
    ‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
    
    ‘I laughed up a lung’
    
    One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
    
    To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
    
    Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
    
    Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
    
    We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
    
    During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
    
    Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
    
    Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
    
    *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
    
    Also:
    

    • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
    • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
    • Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
    • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
    • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
    • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
    • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
    • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.

    [*]
    Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
    
    We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
    [*]

 

[ScamSandwich]

Dear Frauen und Herren, I just registered here, took me a while bc things move so fast in Jackland and on the boards but I have finally come up with an appropriate user name.
About me: first generation immigrant (Jack's words ) (hint: NOT from Syria or Iran), so apologies for a sometimes not so impeccable use of English.
I was, like many of you, impressed by Jack's body of work', although this does NOT refer to her pescaterian bodybuilding one.
Doubts crept in and started to smell fishy and I took a risk to have a look at those vile, vile people who talk about her so badly assuming I would find a hoard of men and women shouting "yucky lesbo" to realise that this is a group of erudite folk who are sick of her scammy crap. Red flags to me were her self-pity yet braggy ways, the luxuries she surrounds herself with and small things such as smug comments like "I chose well" in regards to co-parenting when SB's dad brings chippy tea. I too have lived in poverty various times and currently live a very very modest life. I always ask myself what the fu** she is cooking there!!??? You.do.not.cook.like.that if you are poor!!! She can't cook and she is not poor anymore.
I read Catherine Bennett's article on why we expect authenticity when we write about something. It was meant in Jack's defense but missed another point: she could simply be a campaigner and write budget cookery books. But as many Frauen and Herren pointed out- she is a self-entitled brat. I have some very specific guesses what Jack will do next but I don't really want to give her a script. Although mum Nigella will buy her a forever home.
The tipover point was trolleygate and the heating allowance woman. The latter made me cry at some point. She needs to be exposed.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Didn't we establish on a previous thread some months ago that Jack had moved into the house on her own? Serious question - I have trouble keeping up with her constant contradictions LIES.

Didn't we also establish that she's on a rolling contract that she could end at any time? Because she fucking said so herself?!
[/QUOTE]
Someone has actually put that to her on twitter ...

 

[crystaleyesd]

Honey, we've seen your house. It's got a massive front drive so if your neighbours WERE peering in then they've had to walk right up to your door to snoop and that's fucking weird.

Orrrrrrrrrr....

 

[Montrachet]

She’s off shopping. But she’s not posting her haul. Because she’s going to spend more than £20.

Best wishes to our sweaty heroine. "No, SB, it is Boneless Pork Rectums or eyelid sausages, not both. Now let this man who has sidled up to me speak."

* Credit @Marmalade Atkins 30/09/2020

 

[jenny2603]

It's just occurred to me but if as it appears she'll be leaving the shitty bungalow in February, can you imagine the whining and hysteria we'll be subjected to over the next few months? The floor clawing, fizzing and wailing will reach new heights. Also something is bound to go wrong - the van carrying her priceless Cotswolds will crash sending sideboards hurling through the air and into the sea where they'll be swallowed whole by a whale, causing Greta Thunberg to totally lose her shit with Jack. The viewings of the new shitty house will involve some absurd drama like a landlord saying they don't rent to tattooed slaaags. She will gasp and wail on the floor of a startled letting agent who will eventually chase her out with a broom. A new back injury is a cert but maybe a new illness shall also be diagnosed. The magic puddle will stop producing sideboards and start shooting out fat garlic cloves from it's murky depths. The garden mice will sell their story to the tabloids after the drains of the shitty bungalow finally block with slop, prompting a Dennis Neilsen style excavation involving three separate police forces. One of the Jackolytes will sell a kidney to help with the SAVE KWEEN JACK crowdfunder but will regret this after Jack instructs them to FUCK OFF for failing to show proper appreciation for her body of work.

I am both apprehensive and intrigued.

 

[Dogmuck]

I don’t like talking about my upbringing and don’t want to appear to be playing poverty top trumps, because I’m still embarrassed and cringe at that life despite it not being on me but on my stupid cunt parents who banged out too many fucking kids with no regard (@Begborrowsteal just the 7 add another 5 for SEVERE overcrowding ). I’m just acknowledging all the other fraus here and nodding along, job at 12 that went on food for household - completed that Ice inside windows - done that mate and many more. I read and watched Angela’s Ashes (and similar books) and cringe at the similarities of stuff like being sent to go begging at the presbytery for food/clothes, sharing a bed with my siblings and not owning a pair of knickers of my own until I was 11 when my beautiful older sister bought me a pack of 7 (with mon- sun written on...man that was a great day) out of her paper round money. I don’t tell people my back story, I’m cringing writing this now, because that was THEN, it didn’t define me, I’m proud that I’m fucking out of that shit, I’m pretty successful and it’s way behind me. I don’t need to traumatise myself or look for “awww hun” from people I know, let alone strangers, even the idea of that makes me grind my teeth in shame, the thought that people would feel sorry for me and have a whip round (Paetron/tip jar) for poor old me just makes bile rise! So don’t “heart” this comment or I’ll kick your shins you ninny hams. Your life as a child is not in your control but what you do with the rest of it largely is. I would say most people I know who come from truly poor or difficult backgrounds grow up and get wise pretty quickly. They are not the snowflakes who whine about how tough they’ve had it, they are more likely to count their blessings. Conversely people I know who deem to think they had it hard (whaaa I didn’t get a Mr Frostie that Christmas) ala our Jackie, continually use their back story as a reason for every bad decision/thing that ever happened to them! Bunch of cunts!

And whilst I’m on one No doubt this will be an unpopular observation but fuck it, I have honestly never met a fireman yet who doesn’t have a second job/business. My cousins lad is a fireman and is also a PT. In my old neighbourhood the local landscape gardener was a fireman (all cash in hand naturally), where I live now the local window cleaners are all from the local fire service, £35 to have my windows cleaned 20 minute job. When they came to quote me I commented on what a good tan the man had, he said yeah I’ve just been in Spain for the last month with the first team (local champions league football club ) - I’m their kit man...so he had 3 jobs on the go! It’s not cos they are all on minimum wage, it’s that they have the time.

Jacks dad just got his second income from fostering and could virtue signal to the press too...sound familiar

 

[GothPrincess]

So you know my friend is friends with jacks landlord. I messaged my friend the twitter screen shots. Jack is “a lying cunt” So there we go!

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Scarletfever]

I’m sure she said she had a previous termination. Might have been on Mumsnet (where she had a habit of gatecrashing threads which mentioned her ).

I think Jack's had every single experience it is possible to have. She's actually completed humanity.

Twice.

 

[Harrybosch]

I know we've moved on, but can I just briefly go back to all the ailments she claimed developed from living 18 months in poverty? This is blatantly such bullshit. Yes, of course traumatic events have an effect on your body, mind (and soul, if you've got one. For JM, this is unclear). I've written before on here about my (actual, real-life) c-PTSD diagnosis which stems from childhood trauma. I know I'm not the only one on this thread who knows exactly what that feels like and I don't wish it upon anyone.

However, as someone who in the top trumps of trauma beats anyone who moans about not having a pony and who worried about heating bills for a while, I so resent anyone presenting themselves as a victim of what undoubtedly was not a pleasant experience, but something you can totally get through and move on from.

My mother was born in the early 40s in Germany. She grew up in a kind of poverty that is thankfully unimaginable now. She was malnourished until she became a teen. The few childhood photos we have of her are frankly terrifying. There was no central heating, the one bedroom flat she shared with three other people was heated by one small coal stove. This went on from birth until her 12 or 13 birthday. Food was extremely scarce, but they had an allotment and could grow fruit and veg. They had meat about once a month and got one loaf of bread and one litre of milk for four people for one week. Sometimes there were eggs, sometimes there weren't. (I believe this was mainly in the war years and immediately after, but then the situation improved, so perhaps the first 5 years of her life). However, remarkably, the human body is resilient. She grew up to be healthy. In her 60s, the malnourishment caught up with her, causing all sorts of health issues. Various consultants told her that people of her generation often present with certain issues in their 60s and 70s (I won't list them because I know JM will immediately develop them otherwise). Thankfully there is modern medicine and access to good, nutritious food for her now and she's mostly fine, even though she's heading towards 80. I'm sure there are similar stories from people around Europe who were born during WW2.

But yeah, Jackie ate some crap for 18 months and was cold for a while* and her body is now permanently broken.

*Not wanting to belittle those who are in poverty right now. It's a disgrace in a wealthy nation, without the need to lie and exaggerate for effect.

 

[MancBee]

Just as aside, I would like to counter the argument that "Boomers" as we are known had an easy ride. When I was leaving school hardly anyone went to university or further education, that was not for the likes of us. If I remember correctly the percentage of children in university was between 5 and 8% most of which went to public or grammar school.

Our choices were which factory did you want to work in? There were plenty of choices, as Trafford Park was awash with heavy industry. Girls went to work in textile factories. But then came the 70's and the devastating effects of the closure of almost every factory, steelworks, collieries and consequential closure of other business across Manchester. The dereliction and deprivation was unbelievable.

Not all "Boomers" had great jobs with pensions, not all bought houses as their jobs were taken from them and taken overseas to cheaper manufacturing nations. Many people lost their homes as they could no longer meet the mortgage payments.

Salford is a hugely deprived area, with many of its residents being in the older age group. They had their security of employment stolen from them and were unable to make provision for their retirement. It is dangerous and plays into the hands of the government to create a "them and us" narrative. Blame the boomers, it is all their fault, thereby absolving themselves of any blame. They did not all get free education and cheap houses. It just wasn't true for vast swaths of the population.

I know it's off topic, but relevant to discussion of poverty and privilege.

 

[colouredlines]

There was a time when if you were a single mum you got benefits and housing for free. Could THAT have been her motivation?

Almost certainly not. The idea of young, single women having children in order to receive freebies they can live off forever more is a gross myth. Please, let's avoid perpetuating it and stick to all the thousands of real things we can complain about Jack for.

 

[Morrisey]

Jesus Christ, I had no idea I was so many things.
Former baby
Former pushchair user
Former shitter of my own pants
Former believer of Jackie's bullshit....the list goes on and on
Not quite as long as Jack's though cos as we know she's completed all the levels and has unlocked the secret level noone else knows about.

 

[Montrachet]

 

[MancBee]

I am having to jump forward a few pages and comment or else I will combust. Sorry if this has already been said.

She is saying don't use my recipes and "life's work" as a weapon to bash the poor. However, she is the weapon being used against the poor and has even provided the ammunition.

Once you puts out factual information, you can not dictate how it is used. She had volunteered the factual information that she has been able to feed herself and her child for £20 a week. She can not now insist that that factual information be only shared if it is accompanied by her factual backstory. (None of it is factual, but she would never own up to that)

Either she admits that you cannot live on £20 a week, and admit she was lying or keeps with her assertion and allows the information to be used against the poor. Once she publishes things on the internet, it is in the public domain, she can no longer control how, where, and by whom it is used. She no longer controls the narrative. And we all know how much she needs to be in control.

She is the one that has shown everyone her money saving recipes, even costing them out as proof positive that it is possible to live on £20 a week. She has even gone on TV promoting the penny pinching recipes. The whole basis of her website, books, and TV appearances has been based on a lie and needs to be called out.

 

[Traazers]

Local priest asked for recipes that don’t require fresh or frozen produce (not sure why), this squiggle made me laugh - all three are the same person

 

[MancBee]

Doing an IncyGunka again.

When I was a teenager I did a paper round in the morning before school, delivered the Evening News after school and worked in a petrol station at weekends. All my siblings did work too. Our parents said the money was ours to keep as we earned it.

We knew they struggled for money and couldn't afford much, so we all saved like mad and for one Christmas bought mum and dad a fridge as we didn't have one. It was a second hand one, with a handle that wouldn't work so the door was held shut by a piece of rubber and a meat hook! I can not tell you how proud we were to be able to help in that way, or how proud they were of us.

That is when I realised the pleasure of giving and the importance of acceptance in the spirit of the giving. It was a crappy old fridge that was at the end of it's life, but it was what we could afford to give. I am not recounting this tale as a woe is me, but more as a joy of giving.

If Jack was working before the age of 16 she no doubt kept every penny and has clearly been resentful otherwise she would not be implying it as a negative experience. I loved going to work, it made me feel grown up. I was treated as an adult and without doubt it made me appreciate the value of money.

She certainly was not brought up in poverty. To suggest she did is an insult to every child that MR is fighting for.

ETA, once we left school and earning proper, we were then expected to "tip up" every payday. And quite right too.